Nakushita
by Pipeline
Summary: Yuki is finally opening up to Shuichi 100 per cent and giving him the ultimate surprise. But as Yuki decides to follow his heart, Shuichi is kidnapped. SLASH/Yaoi. CHAPTER 62 OUT! K returns, and disturbing things start to happen for real this time...
1. Prelude

**Title:** Nakushita

**Rating:** R/NC-17, OOC (some of the chapters contain non-con or suggest non-con)

**Pairing:** YE/SS and SR/FS

**Disclaimer:** All the characters and the Gravitation manga belong to Maki Murakami, but the plot is all mine.

**A/N:** This is my first longer Gravitation story, so bear with me, okay? I will update as soon as I have new chapters finished, but I must warn you: this is going to be one long story... :p Enjoy. ;)

(By the way… "Nakushita" means "lost", as in having lost something, or "disappeared"… past tense of the verb "nakusuru" lose/disappear...)

* * *

**Prelude**

The lights went out, the lid of the trunk was shut above his blindfolded and gagged head; sounds became twisted and painful as he defeatedly curled up in the fetal position, childishly, pathetically, hugging himself.

The world suddenly seemed a wretched and hideous place – a hostile place – a place not worth living in. Everything had been taken away from him in a matter of seconds – a fraction of a second! – and it seemed as if he would never get it back.

The smashing shut of a car door. Engine roaring off into the endless, spotless night. No stars out to comfort him in his misery and despair. Even knowing they were there would have been soothing, but not a single ball of light was hidden behind the compact darkness of the cramped trunk. Only one thing could soothe him now...

"Yuki..."


	2. Such an Engaging Night

**Such an Engaging Night**

¤¤¤THREE DAYS EARLIER¤¤¤

* * *

"SHUUUICHIIIIIIIII!"

The hairs on the back of his neck prickled when his super-mega-pretty loverboy's keening screech reached him in the living room. "Uh oh," he thought and immediately made to flee from the site of his crime in order to save what little was left of him after yesterday's ranting. His hopes of getting to the bathroom and closing and locking the door before Yuki found him was however crushed by a huge, red-purplish angry face that suddenly – and inevitably – loomed over him. His panicked efforts to scramble off the sofa and sprint off over the wooden floor were now useless. "Uh oh" no longer seemed to cut it; total disaster was ahead.

"Um, er, Yuki..." he began, but it was extremely difficult to find his voice with that merciless, fierce look upon him. "Um, er, I think... I should just go out and... er..."

Whatever had he done this time?

Could not really be that bad... could it?

"Shuuuichiiiii... You've ruined my kitchen, you fucking insolent brat! Didn't I tell you never to make dinner again? I'm quite sure you tried to cover up your tracks – but you forgot to fucking clean the fucking pots!" Yuki was now so angry with him that he drooled, and that could NOT be a good sign! Still, coming from him, that was an entire _speech_! Transparent liquid ran down his chin from the corner of his mouth, and Shuichi was only mildly surprised to find that he was turned on by it. The thought of sucking up that sticky, colorless saliva... sucking on the essence of Yuki...

"Why are you staring at me like that, you damn brat! You're fucking scaring the shit out of me! Quit gaping like that! You look like an idiot."

"I always look like an idiot in your eyes," Shuichi protested half-heartedly and pouted defiantly at him.

Yuki slumped down on the sofa next to him and sighed deeply. Running a cigarette-equipped hand through his rugged blond hair, he muttered, "That's not true."

Shuichi blinked. "Huh? What was that?"

The novelist kicked him on his right hip. "Shut up. You know what I mean."

"No, actually, I don—"

"I said, shut up!"

Shuichi shrank. He had made him mad – again. All he ever did was making Yuki mad. For a couple months or so, everything had been great between them – Yuki had even told him he loved him, in his own way – but then everything had gone back to normal. Yuki was cold, cruel and calculating again, and all Shuichi ever did was piss him off.

The blonde studied him with narrowed eyes. "Why aren't you talking back at me? You're so boring when you're quiet."

Shuichi looked up, frowning. "But you told me to—"

"You idiot, that was just to tease you. I don't want you to shut up. I just say it 'cos I don't know what else to say."

He did not know if he could trust the novelist on that, but he decided to give trust a try. Yuki did look a bit unsettled...

Shuichi took a great chance and moved closer to his lover, sliding almost unnoticeably on the sofa, without taking his eyes off him. "Naa, Yuki..." (_Say, Yuki…_)

"Na no da?" (_What?_)

"Say, do you..?"

"Do I what?"

"Do you... like me at all? I mean, all I ever do is piss you off, and you're always complaining about me, and there's always something you're dissatisfied with, so it's really hard for me to know whether—"

"I love you, you idiot."

The young singer's heart stopped dead in his chest for so long he wondered if he had actually died and gone to heaven. Bearing the words that had just come out of Mister Bad Guy's mouth in mind, he most probably had. Hearing that love declaration so bluntly spoken was indeed heaven. The words echoed though Shuichi's mind as if there was nothing behind his skull to prevent the words from bouncing off the bone. _I love you, you idiot... love you, idiot... love, love, love... _Heart beginning to pound like crazy, cheeks burning, fingers aching to touch that lovely, harsh face, mouth watering at the prospect of some tongue wrestling, nose suddenly gushing with blood, Shuichi could withhold no longer. "I love you, Yukiii!" he shrieked happily, and threw himself on the blonde before he could even react and form a protest. He half expected the assaulted novelist to coldly push him away and attempt to burn him on the forehead with his half-smoked cigarette, but instead he surprised the little aggressor by casually stretching out his arm to put the butt out on the ashtray while simultaneously putting his other arm around Shuichi's slender back.

Shuichi started at the tender touch and the implication that it made. Blinking sheepishly, he gazed down at the loitering novelist. "Yuki… are you all right?" he wondered with concern. It was so unlike him to agree to intimacy this quickly – unless he was really horny, but then he usually just cast Shuichi's pants aside and had his way with him without warning him first – but right now he did not seem averse to some cuddling at all. _Doshite..?_ (_Why..?_)

Completely unexpectedly, Yuki's lips cracked into a sweet and happy smile. It reached all the way to his cold, pale eyes and melted them into two yellowish light brown fires. Lifting himself slightly off the armrest of the sofa, he murmured a low, tender, "I'm just fine, Shu-chan. Being here with you, I couldn't be other than fine." And with those words he closed his eyes and gently pressed his lips to Shuichi's. The velvety softness of his lips made butterflies churn around inside Shuichi's stomach, creating a warm and pleasantly fuzzy feeling. This was too much. Too much. He could not take it anymore. Desperately, he flung his arms around Yuki's neck and clung to him like a lovesick child on the night of a thunderstorm.

But it did not end there. Yuki elegantly parted his lips to allow Shuichi's hungry, eager tongue access. He tasted faintly of tobacco. Light, groping fingers searched their way down his back and found the rim of his T-shirt. A low moan escaped Shuichi as the novelist began to pull the T-shirt up over his chest. His movements were so gentle, so tentative… so loving. For the first time since he had fallen head over heels for Yuki Eiri, Shindou Shuichi seemed to get everything that he wanted. And had wanted for so long. His entire body ached with yearning for Yuki, and all he wanted was to discard of every single piece of clothing this instant and make love all through the night.

"Oh, Shu…"

The singer stiffened involuntarily. He had never heard Yuki sound like that before. His voice was almost euphoric… Had he finally let go of his inhibitions and decided to give himself to Shindou – completely?

If that was the case… Shuichi would make sure to enjoy it as fully as possible.

Yuki pulled the T-shirt over his head, and he swiftly wriggled his arms out of the short sleeves. Bare-chested, he smiled down at Yuki and was rewarded with a return smile so pure and happy that his world shook for a moment. When the bigger man's hands moved lightly over his back, he shivered pleasantly.

They moved as if caught in a fog, slowed and dizzied by their lack of vision. It seemed almost like several days passed before they were naked and vulnerable before each other when it in fact took them only seconds to undress each other. And all through, their lips were pressed together, their hands traveling hungrily over hot skin, sharing a moment so magical that they both doubted its credibility. When the last garment fell, Shuichi prepared to take the bottom as always, but Yuki stopped him by firmly grabbing his left wrist. "No…" he whispered in protest.

Shuichi blinked in confusion. "What? You don't want to continue?" he asked with disappointment. The thought of stopping now when he was so worked up and ready to go was complete torture.

But Yuki just kept shaking his head. A brittle, insecure smile formed on his lips. "No, that's not want I meant. I don't want you to be on the bottom this time, Shuichi. I want you to be on top. I want you to make love to me."

His request shook the young singer, astonishing him thoroughly. Time appeared to have stopped. He had gone deaf. Not a sound reached him in his bewilderment. Small specks of golden light began to dance at the edges of his vision, and to top it off an oily blackness persistently pressed against his periphery, mercilessly reducing his line of sight to a mere peephole. He tried to say something, but no words came out of his mouth. A strange ululating sound did, though.

The novelist laughed, but none of his usual scorn was in his manly voice now. "Don't look so surprised, Shu-chan!" he said with apparent amusement. He raised his hand to lovingly caress the singer's cheek. "You've sacrificed yourself for me for more than a year now, so don't you think it's time for me to reward you for that? Hmm? I've made up my mind. I'm going to follow my heart from now on. I _want_ to follow my heart, Shu-chan. And my heart tells me it's time to let go and just give in to what I've wanted for so long."

"And what is it that you've wanted?" Shuichi found himself croaking with a voice so hoarse he hardly sounded like himself anymore.

Fingertips played with his chin for a while.

"I want you."

Shuichi's heart stopped. All he could think of was that this was the happiest and most crucial moment in his life.

"I want to be with you in every way a man can be with his beloved. Took me some time to realize it, but now I understand that to gain something I need to give up something, you know? I need to plunge myself into the uncertainty of loving and being loved, I need to risk everything… risk being hurt… and it scares me. But I won't let it inhibit me anymore. I love you, Shu. Now please, make love to me before I change my mind."

Shuichi sure as Hell did not need more persuasion than that. Although trembling with insecurity and fear, he settled himself on top of Yuki and took the lube that he was presenting him with. His hands shaking badly, he unscrewed the tube and squeezed it gently. Yuki retrieved the tube and then leaned back to watch as Shuichi coated his erection with it. Making himself comfortable – his rugged blond hair falling in his eyes in quite a sexy fashion – he put his arm around the small of Shuichi's back. "Come inside me. Please. I want you."

The singer hesitated. He was shaking with the expectations that Yuki had put on him, and he was afraid that he would disappoint his lover. He had never done this before. How was he supposed to know how to…?

But then he noticed the new glint in Yuki's eyes. The novelist was scared, too. Petrified at giving himself completely to Shuichi only to get hurt and be left to his own self-pity. Maybe they were not so different, after all. Maybe they were just the same.

Yes, they were just the same.

And with that conviction, Shuichi's fear was lifted and he could break free of his temporary paralysis. No longer hesitant, no longer insecure, he pushed inside his lover and found that he knew exactly how to do it. A low grunt rose from deep in his throat, almost like an acknowledgement of his new self-confidence. Rocking his hips gently, he focused all his energy on giving Yuki exactly what he wanted, and silently promised himself to keep doing it for all of eternity, never to let his lover down, never to disappoint him. Always be there. Yes, he would always be there.

Yuki clasped his shoulders and drove him closer to his face. Their lips smashed together in a desperate, passionate kiss with their tongues doing a complicated, moist tango. The blonde moved one trembling hand down his back, coming to rest just above his buttocks. "Shuichi…" he murmured against the corner of the singer's mouth. "…you're wonderful…"

Those words encouraged Shuichi to be bolder and move faster inside his lover. Breathing heavily against the blonde's skin, he thrust deeper and harder, deeper and harder, picking up speed as he grew more accustomed to his new role as aggressor. Yuki quickly adjusted to the new and faster rhythm, eagerly rising to meet the singer halfway. Tiny puffs of his hot breath created a moist spot on Shuichi's left cheek. "Ah… ahh… more… harder, please…"

A thin film of sweat coated them, and a semi-wet sound marked the clashing of flesh as they repeatedly slammed into each other with the persistence of two magnets inevitably drawn to each other. It was like gravity. Gravity bringing them together – keeping them together. He happily granted the blonde's request and thrust even harder into the rocking, hot body beneath him that so perfectly clasped around him. It was an odd feeling to have the blonde's dick chafe against his belly each time he thrust, but it was at the same time strangely comforting and immensely satisfying. "_Yuki_…"

Suddenly Yuki stiffened and expelled a small cry of pleasure. He threw his head back, completely giving in, and panting heavily he clasped his hands to Shuichi's buttocks in a firm grip. Furthermore he squeezed hard, trying to force Shuichi deeper inside himself, and caused Shuichi to gasp from the touch. "Shu-chan… oh, God… I love you… I love you so much…"

Shuichi bent down and placed wet kisses on the novelist's nape, successively tracing his shoulders and upper chest with lips and tongue.

The blonde bucked. Thrashed beneath him. Expelled lovely panting noises accompanied by grunts, moans, and cries respectively. They excited him, and he moved faster, thrust harder, until a tinkling sensation started to rise from his loins and spread throughout his body. Almost simultaneously, Yuki began to tremble, and as he did so he gripped Shuichi's buttocks even more firmly, desperate to squeeze the last drop of energy out of him before he peaked.

Shuichi lost all control then. His nervous system exploded and _im_ploded with thousands and thousands of lightning bolts of purest pleasure, and his lips started to move all on their own. He had no control over the words he exclaimed, nor did he possess any control over his shivering body. "Oh God, Yuki, yes, God, beauty, super-mega-pretty bastard, yes!"

He fell on top of him, panting and shaking. The blonde closed his strong arms around him and tenderly kissed the top of his sweaty head. "You were wonderful, Shu-chan," he complimented generously. "What a debut, I must say. Wish my debut novel had come even close to that performance."

The young singer had to smile at those words. His entire body ached, but in a pleasant way, and he felt completely destroyed. Every last ounce of his energy reserve had been used to fulfil his promise to Yuki. Now he felt both emotionally and physically satisfied. Just lying there in the novelist's arms made him euphoric and harmonious.

"Shuichi…"

The blonde's voice died away.

Shuichi tried to turn his head back so he could look at his lover. "N?" (_Huh?_)

"If we were… I mean, if it was possible… would you marry me then?"

The singer shot up from the sofa in an instant. Suddenly he was full of energy again. He stared down at the blonde novelist, his eyes huge and his mouth hanging open. Drool trickled down his chin and dripped on the sofa, staining the fabric with dark, wet spots. "Whaaaat? What did you say, whatwhatwhat?"

Yuki smiled. That sweet, loving, happy, vulnerable, somewhat scared smile. "Well, I was just thinking… If it had been possible for two men to get married, would you have wanted to marry me then?"

"WHAT KIND OF A STUPID QUESTION IS THAT! Do you need to ask me? E? Do you? Of course I would marry you, silly! I would marry you NOW if I could! I would marry you tomorrow, and the day after, and the day after, and the day after, and the day after, and the day after, and the day after, and the—"

"Okay, I get the point. You can stop repeating yourself now."

"—day after…" He fell silent. "E? What? I missed that, what did you say?"

To his great surprise, Yuki just laughed at him. "Do you know that you look extremely funny jumping around naked like that?" he asked. "Your balls are flying everywhere, it's like a windmill down there…"

Shuichi blushed and sat back down. "I'm sorry. I got a bit carried away."

Yuki shrugged as if it was no big deal and leaned down to fish something out of the pocket of his slacks. When he sat back up, Shuichi noticed that he was holding a small, velvety marine box. Clearly a box from a jeweler's. A gasp caught in his throat. With goggles for eyes, he studied the novelist as he carefully opened the box and revealed what was inside.

Two identical rings.

"They're… _engagement rings_…" he breathed disbelievingly.

Yuki nodded solemnly. "I saw them when I walked by Kagayakina Houseki, and I couldn't resist buying them. You know what? I didn't even care that the storeowner recognized me and knew exactly whom I had in mind for the engagement. I just smiled and told him you'd make a great wife someday." He laughed to himself, and Shuichi politely joined in. He was still too much in shock to react in any other way. Yuki took his hand in his and looked him deep in the eyes. "Shuichi, I know these are only engagement rings, and that we can never be properly married, but in my heart you will always be my husband. My true legal spouse. If you accept my proposal, then we are married from the moment I put that ring on your finger. So, Shu-chan, my crazy little music freak with the constant bad luck, will you marry me?"

Almost five seconds passed before Shuichi managed to find his voice, and when he finally did he saw in Yuki's eyes that his hope was fading. So before it was too late – before the novelist could take his words back – he threw himself around his neck and yelped: "Yes! Yes, I'll marry you!"

They shared a sweet kiss.

Then Yuki took his hand anew and gently put the ring on his finger as a symbol of their love. Shuichi solemnly did the same with the novelist's hand.

"Now we are forever sworn to each other, Shu," Yuki said happily, and Shuichi faintly thought that this must be the best day of his life.


	3. Interlude

**Interlude**

This was doubtlessly the worst day of his life. He had no idea where they were taking him, let alone why. They had come for him from behind, putting the gag in his mouth long before he could scream for help, and blindfolded him long before he could turn around to have a good look at their faces. But they had been strong, so they had probably both been men. A third one had stood beside them, watching them overpower him, giving out harsh orders in a language Shuichi did not understand, but vaguely recognized. Then they had put him in the trunk of a car.

That was all he remembered – the rest was a blur, and he suspected that they had drugged him somehow. He was not in the car anymore, for they had stopped moving. He was now lying facedown on a cold, hard floor, inhaling dust through his flaring nostrils.

Where had they taken him?

"Yuki… gomen-nasai…" (_Yuki… I am so sorry…_)

The beloved name and a mental image was all he had now.

All he had.


	4. Phone Call from a Said Beast

**Phone Call from a Said Beast**

¤¤¤TWO DAYS EARLIER¤¤¤

* * *

He literally floated into Rehearsal Studio 2 that early afternoon, pleasantly leaning on the cloud that Yuki had put him on last night. All morning the blonde novelist had served him, making every effort possible to make it comfortable for Shuichi. He had given him breakfast in bed, rubbed his back during their mutual shower, lovingly brushed his hair and helped him pick out his clothes (just regular blue jeans, a blood red long-sleeved jumper, and a washed-out T-shirt over that, which made it even more absurd), and finally he had kissed him goodbye – twenty-seven times! Yuki was really living for his new role as husband, and Shuichi loved every moment of it. The thought of returning home to someone as loving and considerate as that made a warm feeling spring from the pit of his stomach.

"Ohayou, Shuichi!" (_Good morning, Shuichi!_) Hiro called from the other side of the room, where the instruments had been set up. He waved half-heartedly.

Shuichi was so completely lost in his dream world that he did not even remember to greet the band members with his usual 'La li hou'. (_Yahoo._)

They blinked at him in astonishment as he sank down onto a chair.

"Er, Shuichi… is something wrong?" Hiro asked hesitantly.

Fujisaki looked as if he was prepared to storm out of the studio if Shuichi proved to be unfocused today. He hated when the vocalist's mood swings interfered with work. (Work, and furthermost surpassing a certain cousin called Seguchi, was everything to Fujisaki Suguru.)

Instead of answering, Shuichi raised his hand in triumph.

Hiro and Fujisaki exchanged a quizzical look. Then they moved closer to have a better look at the vocalist's hand to see what was so special about it. They almost instantly spotted the ring.

Hiro still looked puzzled, but Fujisaki gasped and clasped his right hand over his mouth. "No…!" he breathed, and met Shindou's eyes. Evidently the self-satisfied triumph in his eyes made it through Fujisaki's thick skull. "No way!"

Hiro glared at him. "What way?"

The boy gripped Shuichi's hand and pulled it up to his face. He studied the ring closely. "You're engaged!" he shrieked, and it was difficult to determine whether he was happy for Shuichi or angry with him.

That caught Hiro's attention. "Engaged?" he echoed, beside himself with amazement.

Shuichi just shrugged nonchalantly.

"Are you serious, Shuichi?" Hiro prodded. "You're really, truly engaged to Yuki-san?"

"Wow!" Fujisaki cut in. "Look at the ring! This must be worth a fortune! How could anyone be stupid enough to spend this much money on _you_?"

Shuichi violently snatched his hand back. "We're not engaged," he emphasized, "we're _married_."

"WHAAAAT?"

"I know what you think, men are not allowed to marry in this country, I know. But Yuki and I don't need some priest to tell us we belong to each other. In every way that matters, we are husbands."

He proudly told them all about Yuki's declaration of love and how he had presented Shuichi with the ring, saying they would be husbands from now on. He also told them about that morning's attendance from the novelist's side. K and Sakano-san had entered the studio halfway through his recount and joined the band members in their amazed ogling. When he finished, they all sat staring at him drop-jawed. None of them seemed to be able to believe a word he had said.

Just when Fujisaki was about to comment on his story, the phone rang and K picked it up. "Shuichi, it's Yuki-san for you," he informed shortly thereafter.

"Put it on the speaker phone," Shuichi told him, "but be quiet – all of you. I want you to believe me, so I guess Yuki himself will be the evidence that is needed to convince you." He watched as K pressed the button to the speaker phone. The manager nodded solemnly and made a thumbs up. "Hey honey," Shuichi greeted the novelist, and noticed that everyone in the room raised their eyebrows in fright. They all expected Yuki to yell at him at the top of his lungs for calling him such a trite thing, but instead the novelist spoke quietly to him in a sweet, tender tone. "I'm sorry to disturb you at work, but I missed you. It's so empty here without your hollering and your dumb comments. Will you be long?"

Fujisaki looked as if he was about to faint. The rest of them had paled visibly.

"I don't know, that depends how practice goes," Shuichi informed him. "But I'm quite sure I'll be home for dinner. Planning something special for me?"

"Maybe…" The other end of the line grew silent for a while. Then: "Shu-chan… they're listening, aren't they?"

"What? Who? I don't know what you're talking about…" The singer began to sweat. _Oh, no…_

A deep sigh. "I guess you couldn't help it. They didn't believe you, did they? Didn't you show them the ring first thing after you stepped through that door?"

"Of course I did! Who do you take me for?"

To everybody's great shock, Yuki began to laugh heartily. "Well, it's no fake, guys! Only the very best is good enough for my husband. Well, I'd better get to work. Lots to write today lest my editor kill me. And Shu… be sure you're back for dinner or I'll never cook for you again," he added humorously.

Shuichi chuckled. "Hai, hai! (_Yes, sir!_) But tell me… how did you know they were listening?"

"I can hear that wimp Sakano whimper."


	5. The Americans

**The Americans**

Darkness. But suddenly a single ray of light touched upon his face. He was still gagged and blindfolded, though. From somewhere to his right came footsteps. It sounded like several people. He wanted to ask them where the Hell they had taken, and how dare they separate him from his Yuki too!

The footsteps stopped in front of him.

He could sense someone squat down beside him, and shortly thereafter he felt hands on his face, removing the gag.

"Here," a male voice said, "give him something to drink."

Shuichi frowned at the unfamiliar words. English? Was he speaking English to him?

The gag was completely removed from his mouth now. He drew a deep breath of wonderful air and could almost taste the crisp freshness of it. But they were not outside, for no wind was blowing. They must be inside – which the dust he had inhaled from the floor had already indicated – but the air in that unclean room had felt fresher without the gag than when it had while he'd been breathing through it.

He lifted his head off the floor a little. "Amerikajin desu ka?" (_Are you American?_) he asked the unseen man.

Something brushed against his ribs.

"Hey! Didn't they day he knew some English?" the man yelled, and Shuichi drew back from him, fearing that he might be threatening him. He knew the word 'Hey', but that was all. The rest just sounded like a random litany of alien sounds.

"Yeah, he's supposed to be some big time rock star or something," another voice replied the first. This voice was deeper, manlier.

Shuichi allowed himself to relax a bit. 'Hey' had not been speaking to him, after all.

He dared another question, even though he doubted they'd be able to answer it. "Koko wa doko desu ka?" (_Where is this place?_)

"What did he say?" the second one queried the first.

"I have no idea," the first one said, "I don't know a word of Japanese."

"Why did it have to be a _Japanese_ rock star, anyway?"

"Beats me."

Shuichi listened carefully to their conversation, trying to make something out simply by taking in their tones. He got nothing. But to make it easier for himself, he decided to call the first man to have spoken Hey, and the second one Dansei (_"man"_) because he sounded so manly.

"Water," Hey reminded his partner, "you were going to give him some water."

"Right," Dansei said, and walked off. Shuichi heard his footsteps disappear and come back again. He wondered what was going to happen to him.

"Omaera dare desu ka? Nan no tsumori desu ka?" (_Who are you people? What is the meaning of this?_) he demanded with rising hysteria. What if they were going to kill him?! He needed to frighten them somehow to deter them from touching him. "O-ore o koroseba, Yu-Yuki wa omaera o koroshite!" (_I-if you kill me, Yu-Yuki will kill you!_) he yelled at them.

"Shut up, you lousy jap!" Dansei shouted back at him, and he whimpered in fright.

"Take it easy on him," Hey advised, "he doesn't understand us. This must be frightening for him…"

"Do I look like I care? I came here to do my job, and do my job I will. Now hold him down while I try to give him this water."

Before Shuichi understood that they were only trying to help him drink some water, he tried his best to flail his arms and legs about wildly, but when he felt the familiar taste in his mouth he said, "Mizu?" (_Water?_) He welcomed the wetness and drank loudly. Until then he had not realized just how thirsty he actually was. When they took the glass away empty, he sighed contentedly.

" 'Mizu', huh?" Dansei repeated. "Is that 'water' in your native tongue?"

Shuichi, thinking they asked him if he had liked his water, said, "Hai, oishikatta." (_Yes, it was delicious._) Although it had only been some water, it had tasted wonderful. Almost as delicious as Yuki's cooking…

Tears smarted in his eyes. "Yuki… gomen-nasai!" (_Yuki… I am so sorry!_)

"What is this 'yuki' he keeps repeating?" Hey wondered thoughtfully, almost as if he was speaking to himself without expecting any reply from his partner.

But Dansei replied anyhow. "Dunno. Get me a Japanese dictionary, will you?"

"Yes, sir."

Footsteps leaving the room again. Then a deep sigh from whomever had stayed behind.

Shuichi wondered if he would ever see his husband again, or if the sweet memories of the past three days would be everything he had from now on.


	6. A Failed Reunion

**A Failed Reuinion**

¤¤¤ONE DAY EARLIER¤¤¤

* * *

Yuki spent most of the day in his study, writing on his current novel, and Shuichi embraced the opportunity to go see Sakuma-san at N-G Productions. It was his day off, but he knew that Nittle Grasper had a busy schedule that day. Perhaps his senpai could use a bit of company to bear with the dreary everyday routine that had become Grasper's melody.

They had not spoken since Shuichi had learned that Ryuichi had been the one who harassed him and had his Yuki kidnapped some time ago, but now that he was finally getting everything that he had so long yearned for and felt that he earned, he was willing to give Sakuma a second chance and forgive him for his bad deeds in the past.

He found Noriko in the entrance lobby and walked up to her with a pleasant smile playing on his lips. "Ohayou, Noriko-chan," (_Good morning, Noriko-chan_) he greeted her.

"Ohayou," she repeated, and winked. "What brings you here on your day off, Shindou-kun?"

"Oh, I just thought I'd stop by and have a word with Sakuma-san."

Noriko expelled a shrill shriek and threw her arms around him in a too tight hug. "Iiiiiihh! You are finally going to forgive him!" she cried, and tears were actually streaming down her eyes. But, bearing in mind that this was Piko Piko Noriko-chan, those tears could just as well be fake.

"Um, yeah…" he said hesitantly, wondering if his coming there had been a mistake.

But before he could consider slipping out of the doors before encountering Sakuma-san, he stepped out of the elevator, obviously on his way to pick up Noriko for a photo shoot or whatnot. He stopped dead halfway to them when he spotted Shuichi.

"Er, hi," he said awkwardly, and scratched the back of his head. "I just came here to tell you that… Well, that I forgive you, Sakuma-san. I understand now why you did what you did… even if I'll never approve of your chosen course of action… Anyway, I'm hoping we can be friends again, that's all."

Sakuma blinked at him. "Tomodachi?" (_Friends?_)

"Hai, tomodachi." (_Yes, we're friends._)

Before he knew it, Sakuma was hanging from his neck quite in the same fashion as Kumagoro often hung from Sakuma's head. The weight was unbearable…

"Oh, I knew we'd be friends again, Shuichi!" Sakuma proclaimed. "Oh, I've missed you so much, Shuichi! I really regret doing all those things to you, I really do! And I'm sorry. Gomen-nasai, Shuichi. I will never do it again, I swear. Thank you for forgiving me." He let go of the younger singer as if struck by a sudden insight. "Wait a minute. Why _did you _forgive me?"

Shuichi smiled pleasantly and showed him the ring on his finger. "I'm as happy as a man can be, so nothing is no longer worth fretting over – or being angry about," he told his senpai. (_senpai is"senior", a courtesy to someone older and in the same profession as oneself_)

Sakuma studied the ring thoroughly. "I can totally see what you mean. Wow. So things are going well with you and that woman – what was her name again? Yuugi?" (_game_) The frown upon his forehead made him look five years older, and it did not become him.

Shuichi pretended to be annoyed with him. "Where have you been the past year, huh? There is no woman, and there never has been a woman. There's a _man_, remember?"

The older singer blinked in bewilderment anew. Then he started. "Oh, yeah… now I remember! That writer friend of yours, right? Tsuki," (_moon_) he stated with a tone of voice that implied that he knew everything there was to know in the world.

Shuichi hit him on the forearm. "Yuki! His name is Yuki!" he cried out irritably. "You had his brother kidnap him! Have you forgotten that already?!"

Ryuichi thoughtfully scratched the top of his head. "You know, my memory really isn't that great…"

"_Aaarrghh!_ Now see what you're doing! We're supposed to be friends!"

To his fright tears came to the Grasper's eyes, and his lower lip began to tremble. "You're so mean, Shuichi. Why do you always have to be so mean?" he accused, and crying at the top of his lungs he ran off before Shuichi could make right what he had done wrong.

"Shoot!"

* * *

He returned home in the worst of moods and hoped that Yuki would stay in his study for the rest of the day. Unfortunately his super-mega-pretty husband was no mind reader and came out into the hallway as soon as he had stepped inside the front door. He kicked off his shoes and went straight to the living room without a word or so much as a look at Yuki.

The novelist followed in astonishment. "What's wrong with you?"

"I made up with Sakuma-san," Shuichi told him sullenly after slipping down onto the sofa and pulling his legs up under him.

Yuki raised an eyebrow. "Oh? And that's something to be gloomy about?"

"You tell me. You're the expert on gloom in here."

Yuki remained in the doorway for a while, visibly uncertain what to do. Then he seemed to make a decision and walked into the room. He stood by the window. Lit a cigarette. "Sou. (_Oh./Aha._) And what am I supposed to do about it?"

Shuichi shrugged. "I dunno."

Yuki puffed at his cigarette in silence for a while. Then: "Wanna tell me what happened?"

And without realizing he was doing so, he told Yuki the entire story. The novelist nodded thoughtfully, carefully considering his husband's words. "Sou desu ne." (_I see._)

Shuichi gazed up at him, where he was standing by the window. "What do you suggest I do?" he wondered.

"Forget about it." A frown searched its way into Yuki's recently calm and uncreased face. "That car's been standing there since six this morning," he suddenly observed in an indifferent tone of voice.

The young vocalist went to his side. "Oh, yeah? Which one?"

"Blue one."

"I've never seen it before."

"I have. Or at least I think I have. It's vaguely familiar… so I took the plate number."

Shuichi turned to him in astonishment. "You took the plate number?"

"Yeah, in case there's any trouble. Police can check the plates in no-time."

Without another word, he put out his cigarette in the ashtray on the small coffee table and went back to his study. The door was shut with a low _THUD_.

Shuichi looked down at the car again.

A shiver traveled down his spine.


	7. The Abduction

**The Abduction**

¤¤¤ONE HOUR EARLIER¤¤¤

* * *

It was still there when he left in the morning, and it bothered him. But he did not have any proof that it was some sort of surveillance vehicle, so he simply ignored it and walked down to his own car further down the street. The manuscript was in his hand. So typical of him to forget it the first time; he'd had to return to the apartment to fetch it. Shuichi had still been sleeping at the time, so he had bent over the delicate creature and given him a small peck on the cheek before leaving again.

He checked the clock in the car. 08:37. Exactly three months over deadline. Damn. His editor might actually kill him this time.

* * *

Shuichi woke rested and energetic and leaped out of the bed with a huge grin on his face. Three whole days and not a single harsh word from Yuki – this was heaven! He cast a glance at the clock on the nightstand before heading out to the bathroom. 09:33.

He doubled back. "09:33?! Fuck, I'm late!"

He was supposed to have been in the studio more than thirty minutes ago! Dammit, why had not Yuki roused him?!

Instead of taking that long, hot shower he so longed for he threw on some clothes and ran out into the kitchen to wolf down some breakfast. He would need the energy it gave him for their recording session. As he pushed his feet down into his sneakers he glanced anew at the clock. 09:36. Great. Just great. K would kill him for this!

He slammed the door open, slammed it shut again, locked it hastily, and ran to the elevator.

Down on the sidewalk he stumbled on an empty beer can that someone had left there and almost fell. He regained his balance just in time. "Yokatta," (_That was lucky_) he muttered to himself as he prepared to sprint off again.

Someone put a hand on his shoulder. He began to turn around to see who it was when that same someone pressed a cloth inside his mouth and another person blindfolded him. What the fuck…? What was happening here?!

He wanted to yell at them to stop, just stop, _wait_! But no words came out of his mouth, only incomprehensible whimpers and grunts. When the gag was securely in his mouth, the first person knotted some kind of shawl around his mouth to keep it in place. The second person, now done blindfolding him, bound his hands behind his back.

What the…?

Before he knew it he had been pushed along the sidewalk and apparently up to a car. Fear rising from the pit of his stomach along with bile that gave him a terrible heartburn, he was pushed into the trunk of that car. The lid shut above him with an earsplitting _BANG!_

The car screeched off at what seemed to be supersonic speed.

And he had not even had the opportunity to scream for help.

* * *

**A/N:** If I wrote anything incorrect in Japanese, I apologize deeply. Gomen-nasai gozaimasu! It's because I mix things up now and then. So if you notice anything in Japanese that looks fishy, please tell me so and I will change it right away. _Doumo._ And please feel free to review this story, I am just dying to learn your opinions!


	8. Yuki's Here?

**Yuki's Here?**

"Snow."

There was a short silence before the partner replied.

"What?"

"It means snow," Dansei said lackadaisically.

"What does?"

"Yuki."

Shuichi, who had wearied of trying to follow their conversation, stiffened at the mentioning of his husband. At once he tried to sit up so he could better survey his surroundings, desperately and achingly hoping to spot Yuki somewhere nearby. But that was obviously impossible; he was still bound and blindfolded. Surveying the room would be an incredible waste of time even if he managed to sit up. Instead he concentrated on forming the question that was burning on his mind. "Yuki wa iru? Ima iru?" (_Yuki's here? __He's here now?_)

He was rewarded nothing but silence and negligance.

That annoyed him immensely. He kicked out with all his might. Obviously he hit something, because the kick was followed by a loud clatter. Someone sprang to his feet and cursed in a low voice. But they did not say anything. Frustrated, Shuichi lay back down to sulk.

_I wonder how long I've been kept here? _he thought glumly.

"When are we leaving Japan?" Hey suddenly asked his companion.

Shuichi pricked up his ears. He recognized the word _'Japan' _– that was English for Nippon. Were they planning to smuggle him out of the country? Because as far as he knew, they had not been on any plane, nor on any boat. They must still be in Nippon somewhere. Maybe they had not even left Tokyo.

"Tomorrow morning. Right after we deal with this git."

A demonic laughter filled the dusty little room, and it chilled Shuichi to the bone.


	9. One Tardy Vocalist

**One Tardy Vocalist**

¤¤¤ONE HOUR AFTERWARDS¤¤¤

* * *

Seguchi was waiting outside for him, just like he had said he would. Even though Yuki would have preferred to go straight home and ignore the fact that there were about 8 million other people within the city limits, and almost 30 million including all the suburbs and such, he had no choice but to swallow his reluctance and pretend to be nice. The president of N-G Productions had been persistent and merciless. He seemed to think that his being Yuki's brother-in-law gave him the right to claim the novelist at any time. The fact that he would soon be the father of Yuki's niece or nephew only made him claim that right more often and much more fiercely so.

The president smiled pleasantly at him as he stepped out through the glass revolving doors. "Did the meeting fulfill your expectations, Eiri-san?" he asked in a voice as sweet as honey.

Yuki just walked past him, hoping that the fool would somehow recognize the exhaustion and the reluctance in his appearance and leave him alone.

But Seguchi followed at a trot. "I take it that your editor was rather displeased with you, then," he observed. "Well, one can not blame her. Your deadline was more than due, was it not?"

"Doesn't matter," Yuki grunted and picked up his pace.

Seguchi matched his pace perfectly by walking at a half sprint. "Sou desu ne. (_I see._) And was the script well received?"

"I wouldn't know. They haven't read it yet. I'll probably have their response within a month or so."

"Sou ka." (_In that way._) Seguchi walked in silence for a while. Then he said, "Are you going home to get some sleep? I hear you've been pulling an unhealthy amount of all-nighters lately. You need rest, Eiri-san."

Yuki slowed his steps when he reached his car. He walked around it to the driver's door and fumbled for the key in his coat pocket. Seguchi waited patiently for both his reply and the unlocking of the car doors on the passenger's side. Yuki found the key and turned it. Once they were both inside the car he thought it appropriate to reply. "No, I'm not going home yet," he told the president. "I'm stopping by N-G first."

Seguchi gave him another one of his pleasant smiles. "Oh, you don't need to drop me off, Eiri-san," he assured him, "I would much rather go home with you and take care of you for a while. I could make you some raamen, if you like."

Yuki had to smile at his words. A tiny chuckle escaped him. "I'm not going there to drop you off, Seguchi. You can come with me to my place if you'd like. I'm going there to see Shu-chan."

He felt immensely satisfied when his brother-in-law flinched as if slapped.

Slapped by a nickname and a notion. That was actually amusing.

"To s-see… Shu…"

"All right, _Shindou_ if you're more comfortable with that name. I'd be surprised if you even knew him by any other name."

The president was silent for a long time.

Yuki stopped the car outside the N-G building in downtown Tokyo.

He noticed that Seguchi was looking at him with a struck glint in his enigmatic eyes. "What?" he wondered impatiently. He had no time for this. Feeling that familiar yearning in the pit of his stomach – no, actually it originated from his loins – he gazed up at the building. He wanted to go in there and seek out Shuichi right away, this instant.

"I was just thinking you seem to have accepted Shindou-san on a completely different level now," Seguchi said somewhat dully. "Am I correct, Eiri-san?"

Yuki opened the car door. "You are correct," he said as he turned his back on Seguchi. "We got married."

And with those words he slammed the car door shut behind himself and walked up to the glass doors. He nodded politely to the woman behind the information desk in the lobby, but when he asked her about Bad Luck's current whereabouts he did not grant her his usual charm with women. It did not interest him anymore. He had something much more precious now, and he was finally ready to go all in for their relationship. It felt good to have made that decision.

He felt at peace, and happier than he had ever been before.

This is right, he told himself as he stepped into the elevator and pressed the button for the 30th floor. This is meant to be.

Bad Luck was recording their third full-length album, and at the moment they were in Studio 6. Yuki rapped on the door and waited.

Sakano was the one who opened it just a few seconds later. He seemed utterly surprised to see him there of all people. "Er… Yuki-san? What are you doing here?"

"I am awfully sorry to interrupt you like this – I understand it's an important recording session and everything – but I really need to see Shuichi about something," he apologized as politely as he could muster without puking all over the poor man. He even bowed slightly.

To think that that brat had instilled in him some sort of courtesy…

The producer knitted his brows in confusion. "Shindou-kun?" he echoed. "I'm sorry, I'm afraid he isn't here."

"He's not here?" Yuki could not hide his astonishment at that and leaned a bit closer to peer in over Sakano's shoulder. He had been right. Shuichi was not there. Nakano and Fujisaki were standing on the other side of the glass pane, both looking very baffled at seeing him there, and K was standing behind the mixing boards, his arms firmly crossed over his chest. He had a stern expression on his American face.

"No, he didn't come in this morning."

Yuki returned his attention to Sakano. "Really? Then maybe he decided to stay in for the day and await my return from the publisher's…"

Sakano sighed with relief. "Yes, I would most probably think that is the case. Sorry to have taken up your time, Yuki-san."

Yuki raised an eyebrow. "Aren't_ I _the one who should apologize for taking up _your_ time?"

When he returned to the car, Seguchi seemed to have recovered somewhat from the shock. "That was a short conference," he joked warmly.

"There was no conference," Yuki told him as he swiftly pulled away from the curb. "He wasn't there."

That piece of information seemed to astonish the N-G president. "No? Then where is he?"

"Supposedly at home, waiting for me."

"Oh. Then that is as it should be, I guess."

But when they got back to the apartment, they found it empty. Shuichi seemed to have left in a hurry, because the sheets were askew in the bedroom and the remains of his breakfast were still on the kitchen counters and the kitchen table, which indicated that he had been afraid of being late for work. So why had not he come in to the office, then?

The puzzle pulled at Yuki's mind, but he could not quite figure out what was wrong with this picture.

"Not home and not at work?" Seguchi observed disapprovingly. "I think maybe our dear Shindou-san needs a reminder of what self-discipline is."

Yuki slumped down on the sofa with a cigarette in his mouth. "No, I don't think that's it. I think he simply got distracted on the way there, or got stuck in traffic. It's only been an hour. He'll show up."

Seguchi sat down next to him. An admiring smile played on his thin lips. "You seem to know him pretty well now. I am glad."

The novelist glared at him with hostility. "You are?" he said sarcastically, and blew the smoke in Seguchi's face. "Weren't you going to make me raamen?"


	10. Cherry Dreams

**Cherry Dreams**

Wonderful images of Yuki were floating by on an ocean of dried sakura blossoms, and a light breeze touched his face, soothing him almost like a lullaby would have, had he been feverish and lonesome. His blond hair danced in the wind, and his cheeks gained color as he came walking towards him through the mist of flower petals. It was spring. Spring had come with the sakura blossoms. Soon summer would take its toll on the city, and the blossoms would turn into bright red cherries. Maybe they could come back here and pick the berries off the sakura trees someday…

The novelist had reached him, and Shuichi could feel his fingertips on his cheek. A shiver passed through his slender body. Longing awakened in him. He knew it was only a dream, but he still could not let go. Even if it was just a dream it would be worth it to linger a moment, just to feel that warm touch on his skin once more. It did not have to be real.

And like in any typical dream, Yuki's clothes suddenly evaporated and he stood naked before Shuichi in the park of cherry blossoms, the most beautiful and wonderful smile on his red cherry lips. Velvety to the touch… sweet in the kiss… ruthless in the sucking… and he loved it all. Naked like the day he was born, Yuki took Shuichi's right hand in his both and brought it down to his erection, made Shuichi grasp it. With a mischievous glint in his pale yellowish eyes, he encouraged Shuichi to stroke him, first gently but then faster and faster until his lips parted in a heavy exhalation. But not even then did he allow the vocalist to stop, no, he wanted more, and speed… he wanted speed. For every hastened stroke, the sounds that Yuki made would grow stronger and louder, and his cheeks would burn a different shade of crimson.

Eventually the blonde bent his head back and screamed into the wind and the dancing sakura petals, and Shuichi marveled over the masculinity of his neck…


	11. Epiphany

**Epiphany**

¤¤¤SEVEN HOURS AFTERWARDS¤¤¤

* * *

"Did you sleep well?" Seguchi queried cautiously as the novelist emerged from the bedroom half-dressed and messy-haired. The president was once again stirring in a steaming pot, and Yuki reluctantly admitted to himself that it smelled rather nice. He was hungry and grumpy. Might as well eat when food was served him.

"Aa," (_Yeah_) he muttered, and slumped down at the kitchen table with his head in his left hand. A throbbing headache had sprung up from the depths of his troubled mind. As if suddenly remembering something, he looked up at Seguchi with weary eyes. "Shu back yet?"

Seguchi stopped stirring and turned off the gas. He filled two bowls with the stew before replying. "Nope." Such a simple word, but yet it sounded as if he'd had to squeeze out an entire speech. So many feelings were concentrated in that one word. Resentment, exhaustion, anger, jealousy, unconditional love and lack of understanding being only some of them.

Yuki studied him while he brought the dinner to the table. Scratched his fresh beard bristles thoughtfully. "Must've gotten into work, then," he observed absently.

"I guess so."

His brother-in-law sat down opposite him and immediately grabbed his chopsticks. He obviously did not feel like he needed to wait for Yuki to pick up his first, which was a way to show one's host respect. But because of Seguchi's high position, he was convinced that he was above such courtesies. Yuki merely shrugged and reached for his cigarette pack.

The president studied him disapprovingly. "Aren't you going to eat?" he wondered.

"Not just now." He lit a cigarette and inhaled the smoke deeply. "I need some nicotine first."

Seguchi raised both eyebrows in skepticism. "You need nicotine to eat?"

"Don't question me or you're out the door," Yuki warned, because he knew that would silence the president. He dared not risk to be thrown out lest he never be allowed inside again. He lowered his gaze in shame and embarrassment. Yuki just rolled his eyes at him and looked the other way. How long was he gonna stay, anyway? He had already put up with his annoying company for more than seven hours. Sure, he'd been asleep six sevenths of that time, but he was dead sure Seguchi had been watching him sleep most of that time. The man was perverted.

A deep sigh escaped the president.

Despite himself, Yuki turned his attention to his brother-in-law. He was absently playing with his food, something that Seguchi normally never would have allowed himself to.

"What's wrong?" he asked, and knew he would live to regret this brief moment of human kindness.

Seguchi swiftly looked up at him and looked as if he would throw himself around the novelist's neck because of that half-hearted display of compassion. But then he thought better of it and lowered his gaze anew. Poking his chopsticks into the half-eaten stew, he sighed. "My car was stolen yesterday morning."

Yuki raised an eyebrow at this. "And you waited until now to tell me about this?" he mocked him.

Seguchi chuckled bitterly. "Perhaps because you always meet my sincerest confidences with scorn and mockery when all I want is kindness and friendship, Eiri-san."

The novelist actually felt a pang of guilt. "Suman. (_Sorry._) You know how I get when I've not gotten enough sleep…"

"Yes, I do. And I understand, Eiri-san. I do. I am sorry to be bothering you about this."

"Don't be. Don't you have more than just one car, though?"

"I have ten."

"There you go. No need to worry about one going missing, then."

He sucked at his cigarette and savored the flavor.

Seguchi squirmed in his seat. "You don't understand… This particular car was special to me…"

"Yeah? How so? You name it or something?"

"No, but it was the car that you gave me for my 30th birthday… I was really careful to take good care of it and always drove it with care. Everything you've ever given me is special to me, Eiri-san, they are like links to you. The thought of never driving that car again…"

…_is probably equally petrifying as the thought of never sleeping with me again is to Shuichi_, Yuki finished in his mind. He never intended to speak that speculation aloud – to anyone.

Yuki sighed with resignation and put out his cigarette. "All right. What did it look like?"

Seguchi seemed surprised at the question. "Shouldn't you know that?" He withdrew his question when he noticed the murderous glare that the novelist was giving him. "Gomen-nasai, Eiri-san. (_I am really sorry, Eiri-san._) My bad. It was the dark blue one. A European car."

Before he could continue describing the car, the novelist shot up from the table and almost knocked his chair over in the process. At the mentioning of the car's color and origin, something stirred within Yuki's mind. Something that had alerted him as early as yesterday, but which he had not considered more thoroughly than that. It had not seemed important then.

"Eiri-san?"

He ignored Seguchi's astonishment and hurried out into the living room. But before he reached the windows the doorbell rang. Twice. Thrice. Very persistently and demandingly. For a moment he stood in the middle of the floor, hesitating. Then he decided that he better open the door lest he alarm Seguchi.

Hiro came at him like a wild animal with a white-hot fury in his screwed-up features. "Where is he? I wanna talk to him!" he demanded cruelly.

Yuki feigned puzzlement. "Seguchi? He's in the kitchen."

"What? No, not him! _Shuichi! _I wanna talk to Shuichi! Bring him out here now, Yuki-san, he'll have to take the consequences of his irresponsible actions right now!"

"Excuse me for not following, but exactly what kind of irresponsible actions are we talking about here?"

Hiro stopped and stared at him incredulously. "You've got to be kidding!"

"Nope. It's Shu we're talking about here – he acts irresponsibly every day. What's he done this time?" he asked, although he feared he already knew the answer.

"He didn't come in to work," Nakano revealed, and a chill passed through Yuki's every muscle. "So that leads me to the conclusion that he stayed home with you all day – _AGAIN!_"

Yuki masked his anxiety with a sly smirk. "Suman, Nakano-kun, no can do. Shu's not here."

The guitarist blinked. "He's… what?"

"Yeah, that's right. I'll have him contact you when he gets back, OK?" And before Nakano could object Yuki had shoved him out of the apartment and slammed the door shut in his face. He immediately returned to the living room windows to peer down onto the street below.

Seguchi appeared in the kitchen doorway. "Shuichi didn't come in to work?" he echoed as if Nakano had just thrown the accusation at him and not at Yuki. When the novelist did not reply, his forehead creased with a deep frown, and he came to the novelist's side to study the street together with him. "Then where could he have gone?"

The bad feeling that had sprung from the pit of his stomach when Seguchi told him about his stolen blue European car was now growing at an alarming rate. It would soon encourage panic and hysteria in him, and if that happened he knew he would be lost forever. He could not afford to lose another person dear to him. It would be too much. The pain of betrayal and abandonment that Kitazawa-sensei had instilled in him the day Yuki killed him would once more break out, and this time there would be no saving him.

The car that he had seen standing there for more than a day was gone now. _Dammit._

"Eiri-san, what's wrong?"

He swirled around to face his brother-in-law. "When was your car stolen?" he demanded fiercely.

Seguchi jerked back. "Um, I wouldn't know the exact time, but, er… I think I first noticed it was missing at about 5.30 yesterday morning when I was getting ready to go in for work. …"

Fuck. The car had been standing outside their building since at least six that morning, and it had not left since. Until now. Yuki mentally battered himself for not remembering whether he had seen the car there still when he returned home, or if it had already left by then. Anger rose from deep within, sparked by a profound concern for Shuichi's safety. It was like nothing he had ever felt before.

Then he remembered the note with the plate number. He fished it out of his coat pocket in the entrance hall and returned with it to the living room. He gave it to Seguchi. "Recognize those plates?" he wondered gravely.

Seguchi gasped in amazement. "That's my car!" he said disbelievingly. "The car that was stolen!" He looked up at Yuki. "How did you know this number?"

Yuki slammed a fist into the wall beside them. "Because I saw that car yesterday," he confessed, and told the president all about his observations of the particular vehicle. "It must have been a stakeout," he surmised, furious with himself for not realizing it much sooner, before it was too late. "And now Shu is missing. See any connections?"

So the older man seemed to do, because he paled beyond pale and dropped the note with the plate number on the floor. His mysterious eyes wide with horror, he breathed, "He's been kidnapped."

Yuki slammed his fist into the wall once more. "You read my mind."


	12. POW! You're Out

**_POW!_ - You're Out**

They sat on a red-and-white checked blanket in the middle of the park, which was blissfully deserted except for them, just like it should be in dreams. They smiled and laughed and talked and fed each other small pieces of dried fish and drank great amounts of sake without getting the least bit tipsy. Everything was perfect, and Shuichi never wanted to leave. The mild breeze, the distant susurration of insects, and the swirling of the sakura petals soothed him. Besides… Yuki was sitting there butt naked while he had the comfort of being fully clothed. He was never granted that advantage in the real world. But if he managed to get himself out of this kidnapping mess he would be sure to suggest the idea to Yuki…

Maybe - just maybe - he would agree.

Yuki raised his sake cup with an enigmatic smile and winked at the dumbstruck vocalist. "To us, and a long prosperous marriage!" he proclaimed in a business-like voice.

Shuichi blinked in confusion. "E?" (_Huh?_) But as if controlled by somebody else - or perchance by his own subconsious desire to always please Yuki - he raised his own cup and happily agreed to the toast. _Kanpai._ (_Cheers._) Anything that began with _'to us' _warmed his heart and made it flutter with emotion for a fraction of a second. He was so lost in his own fragile thoughts that he did not notice when the novelist leaned in and took his sake cup out of his hand. In the next second, Yuki had grasped him by the shoulders and flung him down on his back on the blanket. Stunned, Shuichi needed a few seconds to recover from the shock before he could react. But then he laughed obscenely and gave his husband a kinky smile. "Oh, you wanna be a bad boy, Yuki darling?" he stated approvingly.

Yuki bore down on him and pressed his lips to his nape. Shuichi gasped when he started to lick purposefully. When he looked up, the vocalist was completely lost in the beauty of his pale un-Japanese eyes. "Aren't I always a bad boy?"

In an instant, Shuichi's clothes had vanished, and Yuki seized the opportunity to explore his naked body with a determination, a stubbornness, and a curiosity that fascinated Shuichi. He could not take his eyes off the beautiful, rough blonde as he licked and sucked and kissed his way down Shuichi's chest, only to stop briefly by the navel and then work his way up again. Pleasant shivers passed through Shuichi's petite body, and he anxiously awaited the moment when they would be joined. Oh, he had longed so much for this... so much...

Yuki slowly, sensuously drew circles around Shuichi's left nipple, circles that gradually decreased in diameter until he was licking away at the nipple itself. Shuichi released a desperate cry of encouragement and arched his back slightly beneath him, pushing his chest farther up in invitation. As a response to that, Yuki nibbled carefully at the nipple, caught it between his teeth for a couple seconds and then let go again. When he repeated the procedure, Shuichi could not take it anymore; he was burning with desire for the novelist now. Seizing Yuki's hand, he gave him a meaning, pleading look. "Yuki... please... I love this teasing game, but please... just make love to me... please..." Tears formed in his eyes, and his voice cracked on the words. He felt pathetic and ashamed at his own despair and desperation to get on with it when all he wanted to do was drawing it out as much as possible to make the dream last longer. But what if it did not last for more than another five minutes? And what if they wasted those five minutes playing Who's Got the Stiffest Nipple instead of sharing the most intimate physical connection there was? Shuichi did not know if he would ever see Yuki in real life again - he felt as if time was running out for them - so naturally he wanted to take advantage of this magical moment and make the most of it. Every way.

Yuki heeded his plea, thank God, but not until he had given Shuichi a divine groin massage that left him hard with urgency and full of additional pleas. When Yuki finally pushed inside him and slowly, carefully, lovingly began to move inside him, he sighed with relief.

Nothing could stop them now.

He clasped his arms around the novelist's muscular back and pulled him closer to him. Captured his lips in a tender, but passionate, French kiss. He rose to meet every thrust that rocked through his body and marveled at how synchronised they were. They seemed to fit each other perfectly, as if they had been made for each other. _Meant_ for each.

Yes, they were meant for each other. This Shuichi knew when Yuki pushed yet a little deeper inside him, thrust yet a little bit faster and more determinedly, because the shivers that passed through them were the same.

Thin films of sweat covered their faces and bodies as wonderful heat passed through them. The dancing sakura petals caught in the blonde's hair. And in a magical moment unlike any other, he met his eyes, and the smile on his lips was so genuinely filled with love it made Shuichi's heart skip a beat or two. "I love you, Shu-chan," he murmured enticingly. "You're the most beautiful creature I have ever stumbled across. I never want to be apart from you."

Tears streamed down Shuichi's face. He wanted to tell Yuki he would always be there by his side, that he would never leave him, but how could he make that promise when he might never return - even in a dream? Instead he closed his eyes and pressed his body closer to Yuki, whispering: "Oh, I want to be with you, Yuki, you know that's all I've wanted ever since I first met you. But I..." A sob escaped him. "I love you so much, and I am sorry. _I am sorry..._"

As if he had not heard a word the vocalist had said, Yuki shifted his weight slightly and began to move with greater determination. His features twisted with the pleasure he was feeling, and Shuichi thought it was a beautiful and wondrous display. Then the novelist hit something special, and Shuichi was suddenly washed over by a wave of pleasure so strong he threw his head back and screamed out loud. He arched his back, bucked and thrashed - he had no control over himself. Yet he could still feel Yuki's fingertips on his bare skin, caressing...

A huge tidal wave seemed to be rising above him, and he knew that he would be totally destroyed the moment it crashed down on him, but he did not care, it was so wonderful... so perfect. A familiar trembling sensation spread through his body. He opened one eye to look at the blonde. He was lost in the same world of pleasure, his mouth hanging open in soundless cries.

But Shuichi could no longer keep his mouth shut. "_Yuki!_" he gasped, forcing his lower body further up to meet his husband halfway.

Something hit his side. "Wake him up!" a muffled, twisted voice demanded.

Shuichi ignored the intrusion and surrendered more deeply to the dream. He reached out one hand to touch the blonde's face...

"He looks as if he's having a seizure - _wake him up!_"

"I am trying, for fuck's sake!"

Shuichi firmly shook his head. _No. Don't spoil this now_, he thought. _I am so close..._

Several heavy gasps escaped him. His eyelids fluttered.

"_WAKE UP!_"

Shuichi sprang awake as the kick connected with his ribs. At first he did not know where he was, only that it was a dark and foul-smelling place. Disoriented, he turned his head back and forth in an attempt to recognize something - anything - that might tell him where he was. "Yuki?" he asked, not remembering that it had just been a dream and that Yuki had not really been there.

"Why is he repeating the word 'snow'?" the familiar voice of Hey wondered, and Shuichi immediately recalled where he was. Voicing his despair in a wolfish howl, he sank back down on the floor. Every muscle in his body ached dully. He had the worst headache.

"How should I know?" Dansei queried irritably. "Maybe 'yuki' can be a name, too. Maybe this Yuki person is his girlfriend or something..."

"No, I don't think so. According to the boss Shindou lived with a man. A writer, I think."

"A man? So he's gay, then?"

"How the fuck should I know? Stop asking me all these questions all the time, you're fucking annoying the shit out of me!"

Hey's rebellion was cut short when a loud blast cut through the air. The blast was followed by a _THUMP! _Something really big had fallen to the floor. Shuichi stiffened. Fear awakened in him like a bear in springtime. _He shot him! _he thought weakly. _He shot his own partner!_

If Dansei was capable of killing his own people, what was to say that he would be reluctant to do the same to Shuichi?

He had no idea what they had argued about, but they had mentioned Yuki several times. Shuichi was beginning to think that he was not the one they wanted - they wanted Yuki. Or maybe they wanted to hurt Yuki and had figured that the best way of doing so was to kidnap his lover. But that did not make sense. Why would Americans want to hurt Yuki?

Then something hit him.

Kitazawa Yuki.

His sensei in New York.

The attempted gang rape, the shooting... Kitazawa now dead and buried.

Was someone out to avenge Kitazawa? His brother sure had not seemed very upset about his death anymore, and he absolutely had not seemed the least bit angry with Yuki, so who could...?

His ponderings were interrupted when Dansei suddenly grabbed him by the collar and dragged him to his feet. The big man pushed him ruthlessly in front of him, and he almost stumbled over his own feet. "Move!" Shuichi did not know what Dansei wanted him to do, but he kept walking out of fear of being shot just like Hey. His legs almost did not carry him, and he felt incredibly weak. How could he have become so weak in just a day or two? It was scary, almost seemed like a bad omen.

A door was opened and a fresh, cool breeze hit him in the face and made his short black hair dance. Remnants of the dream reminded themselves, and tears once more streamed down his cheeks. "Yuki..." he whispered miserably.

Dansei gave him a hard push in the small of his back, and he fell forward on the asphalt. "Shut up! You'll never see this Yuki person again, so just shut up!" He opened the trunk of a car and effortlessly lifted Shuichi and put him inside. Before slamming the lid shut, he said, "We're going down to the river to take a swim. Kawa."

Shuichi flinched. _Kawa? _He was taking him to a river? The Tone, maybe? Then that meant that he was probably taking him out of town... That is, if they were still in Tokyo...

He did not like the sound of that. He had a really bad feeling about this. A really bad feeling.

* * *

**A/N:** More chapters will be up shortly.


	13. The Calm Before the Storm

**A/N:** Ready for the melodramatic Touma? Well, ready or not, I have now set him loose on the pages of this story, bwahahaha... And I can assure you he _will_ appear again... oh, what love can do to a man... _lol _And thank you so much for all the lovely reviews! You really make my day... so now I will thank you by updating with 6 new chapters. ;) Enjoy, my friends.

* * *

**The Calm Before the Storm**

¤¤¤EIGHT HOURS AFTERWARDS¤¤¤

* * *

"You look admiringly calm, Eiri-san," Seguchi commented in a state of shock when the novelist got off the phone with the Tokyo police. He had been frozen in the same position for twenty minutes now, and it irritated the blonde immensely.

He snorted. "Somebody has to be calm if we're to find Shuichi before it's too late," he stated indifferently. He gazed out of the window as if half expecting the view to give him a clue to his husband's whereabouts. "They can't have gotten far. They must have snatched Shu when he left for work this morning. He was still in bed when I left, and I think the car was still there then. If they're looking for a ransom, which I would think they are considering who he is, they can't be far away. They'd want to keep an eye on things, stay up to date with the search. They must be holding him somewhere nearby."

The president nodded as if agreeing, but Yuki doubted that he had even heard half of what he had said. His brother-in-law seemed to be far, far away in an imaginary land where no Shuichies existed - and furthermost where no Shuichies could ruin imaginary relationships between any Yuki Eiries and Seguchi Toumas. The fact that Seguchi still housed a deep and unconditional love for him unsettled him, made him jittery in his company. But for some reason, he could not refuse the N-G president to spend time with him now and then. When it all came down to it, Touma had saved him once... in a sense, anyway.

But he still did not like the fact that Seguchi fantasized about taking Shuichi's place.

"It will never happen," he found himself saying in a harsh tone of voice, his eyebrows furrowed cruelly.

The president blinked sheepishly. "E?" (_Huh?_)

Yuki realized he had said it aloud and turned his back on his brother-in-law to hide the fact that he was blushing. "Nothing. Uh... sorry."

The silence that settled between them seemed to grow with their breaths, and suddenly Yuki's heart began to pound and ache with the need of finding something to say, something to distract him from the fact that Shu was missing and most likely kidnapped by God knew what madmen. He needed to engage Seguchi in a conversation or similar activity and almost found himself asking him if he would like to go to Odaiba amusement park. He did not, of course. It was absurd to even think of entertaining or enjoying himself when the love of his life may be in danger of _his_ life.

He needed to keep his face straight, his head cold. He owed Shu that much. For everything he had done for him... even his stupid attempts to make Yuki forget about Kitazawa-sensei... He owed him. And that was final.

As if strengthened by the subconsious decision that he had made, he nodded briefly to himself and steered his footsteps to the kitchen. There, he picked up the car keys that he had earlier thrown on the counter. Reaching the front door, he realized that Seguchi had not followed him. For a moment he considered leaving him there. Then he thought better of it.

He would need Touma's resources.

When he was just about to open his mouth and call him, he recalled a plea that the president had uttered some time back. _"Couldn't you call me brother just once?"_

Taking a deep breath for support, he cleared his throat uncomfortably and called, "Ani (_big brother_), are you coming or what?"

The president came rushing through the apartment with the speed of a sheetah and the weight of an elephant - or so it sounded - and stopped in front of him, panting from the effort.

"Yes, otouto (_little brother_)!" he said enthusiastically, and the genuine delight, happiness and gratitude in his broad, childishly naïve smile actually made Yuki glad.

He had been right in choosing this moment as the right one to call him brother. Not just because he needed something from him and this would ensure that he got the help that he would eventually ask for, but because Seguchi had waited so long for him to open up to him again. Nine years ago, they had been friends. Good friends. Now it was time to bury that old battle axe and resume that friendship.

"Where are we going?" the president asked eagerly, putting his arm under Yuki's without fear of getting pushed away as always.

"To N-G," Yuki told him and managed a faint smile. "We're going to see this K fella with the gun obsession."


	14. Alien Flashback

**Alien Flashback**

Touma anxiously followed Eiri through the glass doors when they got to the N-G building, just like he would follow him to the end of the world if he demanded it. Tiny butterflies were flying around inside his stomach, and he could almost imagine hearing the flutter of their delicate wings as they beat through his intestines. His heart was pounding a steady _dokkun-dokkun-dokkun-dokkun _at the prospect of their new budding friendship. The thought of having everything go back to normal invigorated him. He would love for them to be friends again. Of course, in his innermost he wanted them to be something completely other than friends, but... If friends was everything that Eiri was willing to give him, then he should settle with friends.

But to hear Yuki calling him "ani" (_"big brother"_)... It had warmed his heart like nothing else could have. It was not exactly as good as being called "kareshi" (_"boyfriend"_), or "anata" ("_honey"_), but definitely much better than being called Seguchi. (The few times the novelist even called him that... Eiri could always find more creative names to use...)

He watched in reverie as the novelist spoke softly to the receptonist - oh, to have him address him in that tone! What a dream come true it would be...

"Hey, _bonehead_! Are you coming or not?"

Touma shook the daydream out of his ears when he heard the novelist call after him. A deep sigh of disappointment escaped him. So, they were back to the namecalling again... _Shoot. _Moping like a child, he shuffled after Eiri towards the elevators across the room, his mind playing cruel games with him. He had enraged Eiri-kun and were therefore no longer entitled to be called Ani - he had gotten his chance and he had blown it. Great. Truly great. Oh, what a pain! His chest felt as if it would burst open any moment!

Now it so happened that Touma had a wild, and extremely vivid, imagination, so the moment he imagined his chest bursting open he immediately got flashbacks from the movie _Alien_. Only he saw his own face on one of those actors... Suddenly, the scenes from the movie became memories from his own past, and petrified at the thought of being infected with an alien demon seed and cut open from the inside again, he gave a girlish shriek and swirled around on his heels. Without caring to look back at the positively puzzled Eiri, he ran out of the glass doors and crossed the street in a panic. Luckily, all cars stopped just in time to allow him passage.

He was imagining fictitious aliens deviously awaiting the perfect time to burst out of his poor, pounding chest when in reality he could have been flat on his back, crushed beneath a car just now.


	15. Elevator Confessions

**Elevator Confessions**

Yuki could not for his life grasp why Seguchi had started screaming like a girl and run straight out into a heavily trafficated street with his arms flailing about above his short-cut head. Somebody as reserved, respected and enigmatic like that would hardly run amok when anyone else was nearby and could witness it... But nevertheless, Yuki was overjoyed at finally being alone, finally being rid of that annoyance for a brother-in-law.

But as he stepped into the elevator, he felt strangely stripped, as if he was missing something. Firmly - and rather harshly - he told himself that it was only imaginary and went on. But the feeling would not let go. Suddenly loss and fear came over him in a vicious surge of emotions that he could not even begin to grasp. Slowly he realized that it was Shuichi he missed, Shuichi he feared for. And once he admitted that to himself, the barriers that he had put up around himself came down, and there was nothing more holding his despair in. Shaking with anxiety and agony, he fell to his knees on the floor of the elevator, tears running down his pale cheeks. He tried to straighten up, to get up on his feet again, but there was no strength left in him. A small sob escaped him.

"_Shu_..."

The elevator doors came open. It was some time before he realized that he was still on the ground floor.

He had forgotten to push the button.

Something big tumbled down beside him and took him in its grasp.

"Eiri-san!"

Seguchi was back. For some reason, Yuki was actually glad that he had come back. Glad to have him there. He did not even mind being embraced. It just felt good to be consoled by someone who so obviously cared selflessly about him, and somewhat hesitantly he snuggled into the president's arms.

Seguchi rested his chin against the top of Yuki's head. Slowly, tenderly, he stroked the novelist's back.

The elevator doors closed behind them.

"Eiri-san... What's wrong?" His voice was compassionate, loving, worried.

Yuki just wished it had been someone else's voice soothing him right now...

"Shuichi..." he squeaked, and was ashamed at the pathetic and pitiful vulnerability in his own voice. Immediately, the president stiffened. However, he collected himself rather swiftly and continued to stroke Yuki's back. It felt good. But not good enough. "Touma... I'm scared... What if I never see him again?" The words were difficult to say, not just because he had the crazy feeling that they would come true if he uttered them aloud, but also because they defied his entire persona. They were a sign of weakness, and weakness did not come with the Yuki Eiri action figure that he had tried to be for his Shu's sake. He had been prepared to do whatever it took to find and bring Shu back - but now? Could he really do that now? He was weak... just like the rest of them...

A semi-hollow_ pin _announced that they had reached the desired floor.

Yuki blinked up at the automatically opening elevator doors. He had not even noticed that Seguchi had reached up to press the button after kneeling beside him.

Now the president helped him to his feet. With a faint, but encouraging, smile, he said: "Shinpai nai, Eiri-kun. (_Don't you worry, Eiri-kun._) We will find him. You hear me? _We - will - find - him. _I swear to you that I will do everything in my power to help you track him down and rescue him from whomever kidnapped him. Don't you worry, everything will be fine. Everything will be like it used to be."

Yuki knew it was only lies said to make him feel better, but he nonetheless appreciated them. He nodded silently, and blotted his face on the sleeve of his shirt. He could not believe he had actually cried in somebody else's presence. The only other time anyone had seen him crying was when Shu—

"I have to wash up a bit," he excused himself and pulled away from Seguchi, whom stared after him in astonishment.

The restrooms were directly on his right, so he coldly pushed through the door to the men's room before that old memory could get control over him. The idea had been to splash some cold water into his face to force himself to wake up from this horrible nightmare, but he just stood there staring into the mirror with his hands clasped around the edges of the washbasin. His reflection in the mirror had dark rings around the pale yellowish brown eyes, and his skin looked oddly sallow and damp with sweat.

He sighed deeply to himself and lowered his gaze. _What is happening to me? _he thought miserably.

He was just about to leave the restroom when a strange noise caught his attention. Frowning, he turned around. There was no one else in there, so who could have made that noise?

"_Ah_..."

Yuki started. There _was_ someone else in there, and judging by the sound of that moan, it was not just one person either. Lovers exchanging bodily fluids _in the bathroom_? That seemed a little bit too trite, and he could not imagine who would actually get off on such a thing.

He sneaked closer to the stalls, overcome by curiosity to learn the answer to his unspoken questions.

One of them was locked.

For a moment he stood still in hesitation.

_God, what am I doing? _he thought disgustedly to himself. _I'm spying on some couple having a secret rendezvous in a bathroom stall! Shit, I'm really losing my edge now!_

"_Haaahh... _oh, senpai!"

Yuki jerked. _Senpai? _This was too weird for him. With determination he turned his back on the unsuspecting lovers and went for the door at a semi-run. As he was just about to fling it open and jump out into freedom, a second voice spoke, and it seemed oddly familiar.

"You like that, don't you?" The speaker laughed slyly. "Well, I had better continue, then..."

The novelist froze temporarily just inside the door.

The voices belonged to two men.

Astonishment and shock got the better of him. He had somehow convinced himself that Shuichi was the only gay man in Tokyo, hence the puzzlement at discovering these two lovebirds so unconcerned with being caught redhanded. Gay love was still considered forbidden love, even though people were starting to warm up to the idea...

Heavy breathing shattered his ponderings. Mercilessly and ruthlessly, taunting images of his last three days with Shuichi flashed by on the silver screen of his inner eye. His smile, his carefully and vainly styled black hair, the birth mark shaped like a new moon on his left hip... And immediately those images were ackompanied by sound effects. His husband's heavy breathing as Yuki gave him a blowjob... his laughter as Yuki took him into his arms and danced around with him on the living room floor... All the things he had said to him, whispered to him, shouted at him...

It was too much to take.

As the secret couple plunged deeper into the pit of their forbidden love and the walls of the stall began to shake with the force of their copulation, Yuki fled the bathroom and covered his ears with his hands. Naturally, it did not work, because those sounds were all in his head. They were memories. Memories which he did not care for remembering just now. But they would not stop. And as he slammed into Seguchi, whom was standing outside waiting for him, the same damned phrase repeated itself inside his head: _I love you Yuki, I love you Yuki, I love you Yuki, I love you Yuki..._


	16. Down by the Riverside

Anime/Manga » Gravitation » **Nakushita**Author: Pipeline Rated: M - English - Romance/Angst - Reviews: 192 - Published: 07-15-05 - Updated: 07-09-08id:2485900

**Down by the River Side**

Shuichi was shoved down on the ground with great force, and he scraped his hands and knees on the sharp pebbles when he broke his fall. He could feel grass tickle his ankles, wind in his hair, and the unmistakable sounds of wild water rushing nearby played in his young ears, so they must be outside. Jubilance that Dansei had finally let him out of his confinement touched upon his youthful heart and made it flutter with eagerness for a short while - until he remembered what had just happened to Hey. Once more fear got the better of him, and he yelped helplessly as he realized why they must have come down to the river.

He had watched way too many mafia movies with Hiro.

_Oh, no! _he thought miserably. _I'm going to be fish food! What will Yuki think of me then? He was right all along... I was never good for nothing, nothing except fish food... I am such an idiot._

Dansei kicked him in his ass, and he fell forward on his face in the fine gravel. Spitting out dust and sand, he strained to raise himself up into a sitting position.

"Fucking piece of crap," Dansei muttered disapprovingly. "Why did I have to get stuck with you? Stupid Bill who never gave a rat's ass..."

Shuichi began to cry. "Wakannai..." (_I don't understand…_) he whimpered pathetically, tears getting stuck in the blindfold and creating small hot, moist pools that pressed painfully against his eyeballs. "Wakannai kara, kowai n da yo..." (_It's scary because I don't understand…_)

He was so wrapped up in his own sorrow and self-pity, so deafened by his own sobs, that he did not hear the approaching footsteps until they were less than ten feet away. Abruptly, he quietened, and looked up. Remembered that he could not see anything. Even a brief twitch of frustration broke through his shuddering fear.

The footsteps came to a stop right in front of him.

He could feel someone staring down at him.

"Hello, Shuichi. Enjoying yourself?"

Shuichi flinched. This man spoke Japanese. And what was more... "I recognize your voice," he said stupidly, nearly dumbstruck by bafflement.

The man laughed. "Is that so? Well, you should. We used to see each other a lot a while back."

"Tatsuha?"

The elusive man laughed even harder. "Sorry to disappoint you, Shindou, but I'm not your dear Yuki's otouto-san," he scorned, apparently pleased with himself. "Uesugi-san wouldn't have the guts to do what I'm about to do to you."

That malicious laughter again. It chilled Shuichi to the bone. "Do to me...?" he echoed sheepishly, cold sweat trickling down his spine and making his T-shirt cling stickily to his torso.

But he was not granted any answer.

Instead, the newly arrived turned to Dansei and spoke to him in English with a very heavy accent. "You done well. I will take it from here."

Dansei sounded reluctant when he replied. "Well, I don't know about that..." he said slowly. "I was paid to finish him off, you know. I'm not so sure I should leave the kill to you, my boss may be disappointed if I return without proof that this bozo's dead, you know."

"Don't worry, I will handle. Boss new order. I take care of Shindou. You can be relaxed, proof will be sent for being to pleasure. Daijoubu, misutaa. (_It will be all right, mister._) Everything fine."

Shuichi listened aptly to the silence that followed, wondering what they were talking about. The flow of the river and the breath of the cool breeze were the only sounds that reached his curious ears. For a moment he almost managed to convince himself that they had soundlessly left him alone by the brink of the water. But then the second man spoke - the newcomer.

Firmly gripping the vocalist's left overarm, he hissed, "Ja, ikou ka, Shuichi." (_Well, let's go, Shuichi._)


	17. The Birth of an Amateur Search Party

**The Birth of an Amateur Search Party**

¤¤¤TEN HOURS AFTERWARDS¤¤¤

* * *

The studio was empty but for a solemn Nakano, playing his guitar in grave silence. He did not look up when they entered the room. His fingers slid over the strings with experience, and Yuki momentarily found himself hypnotized by the slow, caressing movements that fingertips made on nylon. When he realized that he was staring, almost transfixed, he firmly shook his head to clear it before announcing his cause.

"Nakano-kun," he said as a greeting, but it was also a demand of attention.

The guitarist still did not grant him a single look. He kept playing, ignoring them gracefully.

Yuki cleared his throat. "Nakano-kun, I..."

The words got stuck in his throat.

"What?" Hiro wondered. "Shuichi too scared to face me himself? He had to send you in his stead to apologize for not showing up?"

His voice was thick with despise and scorn.

Yuki could not blame him, but he had no time for childish games. "Where's this K guy at?" he asked, trying to repress his urgency and the cold fear that still pressed hard against his emotional barriers.

Nakano snorted. "K? Is he too afraid to even have you apologize to me? He had to send you to K instead?" He shook his head in resignation.

Yuki was growing impatient. "Shuichi didn't send me, now where is K?"

"Why are you asking?"

The novelist swirled around, startled at the hostile tone in the manager's voice. He furrowed his brows bitterly and said, "I need your help to find Shuichi." There was no need to withhold his reason for showing up unannounced a second time that day, especially not since Yuki Eiri never asked anyone for help.

The manager cocked an eyebrow quizzically. "Oh? And here I thought you were the only one capable of keeping track of our little fruit."

His head made a repulsive cracking noise when it was shoved up against the wall, and for a moment the American's eyes shone with fear. Good. Yuki wanted him to feel fear because he would need it if he were to find Shu. "Urusai!" (_Shut up!_) he shouted as he hardened his grip on the manager's shirt collar and pressed him closer to the wall. "I won't tolerate _anyone_ speaking of my Shu-chan like that! Take it back!" The rage that had built up inside him ever since he learnt that Shuichi had been abducted now radiated from him like heat waves from asphalt in the desert. He wanted to smash this bastard's face, smash it over and over and over until nothing was left of it, and then smash it some more. But when he raised his fist at the motherfucker, ready to strike, somebody put their arms around his back and began to pull him away from his victim.

"Eiri-san!" The president's shocked voice reached him in his cloud of fury and reminded him that what he was doing was wrong. He needed to focus his energy on finding the _real_ perps, and then he could beat _them_ up. "Eiri-san, stop it! Let go of him!"

Evidently Nakano came to his aid, and together they finally managed to prize him off the trembling American. He knew there must be an animal glow to his eyes, just like the one Aizawa Taki had described when he had come after him seeking vengeance on Shuichi's lost innocence. And indeed, his current anger almost matched the one he had felt back then when he learnt of the abuse that that Aizawa bastard had ordered on his Shu. The thought of somebody paying three big guys to rape someone half their size... And he had been watching it, taking pride in it, _photographing_ it...

"Eiri-san!" Seguchi rebuked harshly.

Slowly he became aware that he had raised his fist at the manager again. For a moment he stood like that, fist raised, and hesitated. Then he slowly lowered it.

Seguchi exhaled in a deep sigh of relief and lay a hand on the novelist's arm. "Eiri-san, are you all right? Would you like me to fetch you a chair?"

For the first time then, Yuki heard his own heavy breathing and felt the hard _dokun-dokun-dokun _of his heart. Up until then he had not realized just how much the manager's words had offended him - and _hurt_ him. Somewhat dazed, he nodded his consent.

Seguchi immediately hurried across the small room to fetch the chair that stood against the opposite wall. When he came back he had to force Yuki down onto the chair to make him sit at all. It felt weird that he could not even control his own legs anymore. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, not sure whether they heard him or not. He leaned forward and buried his face in his hands. "I'm sorry. I don't know what got into me. I'm just so wound up because of all of this with Shu-chan..."

K and Nakano studied him disbelievingly.

Seguchi had only pity in his eyes.

Yuki wondered which was worse.

The manager cleared his throat awkwardly. "So... what's this about finding Shuichi?" he wondered and sounded as if he was just trying to make conversation.

Yuki looked up with misery in his eyes. "Shuichi's been kidnapped," he confessed, and the moment he uttered those words something died in him. It was as if he had not accepted it until then - and now the truth hit him harder than a ten ton boulder would have.

"Ki... kidnapped?" All strength had gone out of Nakano's voice. "And I was so angry with him for ditching work..." He sank down on the floor in a defeated heap.

Behind him, the door was flung open and Fujisaki entered. When he spotted the guitarist on the floor he stopped dead and stared in disbelief. Then he lifted his gaze to Yuki, and to his cousin busy stroking Yuki's hair consolingly. "Who died?" he wondered sarcastically before he could stop himself. When none of them replied he grew jittery and seemed to squirm in his own skin. "Uh... you guys haven't..." but he broke off his own sentence before he could finish it. He bit his lower lip with a worried expression that immediately made Yuki think about those suspicious noises in the men's room. This kid had come right out and told him he was attracted to him the first time they met. Or, rather, he had claimed to have inherited his cousin's infatuation with him... So he definitely had it in him to fuck a guy.

But if Fujisaki had been in that bathroom stall, then who was the senpai?

He twitched. _Hey! What the hell am I thinking? _he reproached himself with disgust. _That is none of my business, and I certainly don't have any interest in who might be stupid and horny enough to fuck this brat!_

He firmly shook his head, desperately trying to make the dirty pictures disappear from his mind's eye.

"Eiri?" Seguchi prodded.

"I'm okay," he assured the president.

The others watched them in silent wonder. Obviously they were surprised at the new bond that had developed between the two of them. They would be even more surprised if they knew just how strong a bond they had once had...

"Do you feel up to telling him, or should I tell my cousin?" he continued.

Yuki shrugged. "Shuichi has been kidnapped, so I would really appreciate it if you spared me any more of those sarcasms, Fujisaki," he said weakly.

Furthermore, he sacrificed twenty precious minutes to tell them what little he knew, and to convey exactly what he wished K to do. A man with so many contacts and so many weapons would be a useful ally. And, Yuki had to admit to himself, Nakano and Fujisaki could probably help, too - in their own futile ways... Although, Yuki was not even sure that Fujisaki wanted to join their search party, because he looked frighteningly content with himself. Was that a self-righteous grin he detected in the young boy's twisted features?

If it had not been for Seguchi holding his hands on his shoulders he probably would have lashed out at the smug bastard and punched his lights out. Well, that would have to wait until another day.

Fujisaki cleared his throat and reached out for his jacket, which was hanging on the back of Yuki's chair. "Well, if that was all, I'm off," he announced, and made to walk out the door.

Yuki started on an objection and a rebuke about Fujisaki being utterly cold and insensitive and motherfucking cruel when a shrill shout cut through the air.

"Konban wa na no daaaaaa!" (_Gooood eveniiiiing!_)

A wave of a tattered pink plushie.

_Oh no, _Yuki thought and buried his face in his hands anew, _not him..!_

Seguchi greeted his band mate with a chill smile. "Good evening, Ryuichi-san. I trust you've had a pleasant day?"

The Grasper vocalist lit up like a small child with 10 000 yen in a candy store. Even more vigorous waving of the poor pink plushie. "Oooh, yeah, I've had a wonderful day, Touma! Thank you so much for letting me have the day off! Tatsuha took me water skiing na no da!"

The president blinked at him in confusion. "Water skiing? In Tokyo?"

"This time of year?" Fujisaki cut in nonplussed. He did not even seem to be aware that he had spoken to the senior musician.

Sakuma turned to the boy. "Sakamuji!" he exclaimed merrily, and patted Fujisaki's head. "How's it hanging na no da!"

The keyboardist violently slapped his hand away. His eyes burned with indignance and anger when he directed them upon the vocalist. "Keep your hands off me!" he warned, and shuddered as if he'd just been confronted with his greatest fear. "I hate it when men touch me. I'm going home to my girlfriend," he announced, and once again directed his steps toward the door.

Sakuma still blocked it and would not budge when he tried to push through.

"Let me out!"

"Oooh, you have a girlfriend, Sakamuji?" Ryuichi wondered brightly. "Good for you! I'm so happy for you na no da!" He gave him a friendly slap on the shoulder and almost knocked him over.

Fujisaki swirled around towards him. "It's Fujisaki! Stop calling me Sakamuji!" His face glowed an angry red.

Yuki watched the scene with dark amusement. This was better than a tennis game.

Ryuichi blinked. Kumagoro, whom had up until then sprawled on the top of his messy-haired head, slipped down onto the floor. The singer did not seem to notice. "Fujisaki?" he echoed sheepishly. Then he beamed another smile at him. "Okay." Suddenly, the smile faded from his lips and he became serious. Frowning, he leaned in over Fujisaki's shoulder (to the young man's distress) to survey the rest of the studio. "Have any of you seen Shuichi? I've been looking all over for him, but he's nowhere to be found..."

A sad look settled upon his face.

The keyboardist brusquely brushed him off. "That's because he _supposedly_ got himself kidnapped," he informed him and snorted with disapproval. "Yeah, well, can't say that surprises me... He's probably just wandered off somewhere and gotten lost."

It annoyed Yuki that the boy could dismiss it so casually, but he willed himself to ignore it. There was no energy left in him to argue anymore, and certainly not with a brat that would not be worth wasting his time on. Their search party could make good due without Fujisaki. He could stay at home with his _supposed_ girlfriend and stay the fuck out of the way. Giving him a vacation would probably be the cruelest punishment possible. Yuki could just imagine how shocked and offended he would be if Seguchi told him to take a week off.

A strange, ululating sound suddenly escaped the Grasper singer, and his face became screwed up in fear and grief. His eyes were full of tears, and when his lower lip started to tremble he put his right hand fingers in his mouth to prevent himself from sobbing. "Shuichi's been kidnapped?" he squeaked pathetically. "Kumagoro told me something was wrong, so I came here looking for him, but I... I never imagined that he would actually be in trouble..."

Yuki actually felt sorry for him when he buried his face in Fujisaki's shoulder and cried at the top of his lungs and the boy desperately tried to brush him off while simultaneously remaining respectful and courteous towards his senior. Ultimately he realized that it was no use trying to make him stop and withdraw, so he began to stroke his back awkwardly instead. "It's all right," he said with his voice quivering, "he'll show up sooner or later."

The Grasper singer finally let go of the keyboardist. "Yeah, but you don't know if he'll come on his own two feet or if they'll have to carry him back in a body bag!" he protested accusatory, as if it was Fujisaki's fault the young vocalist was gone, sniveling loudly.

At those words, Seguchi lashed out at him like a mother bird protecting her eggs. "Ryuichi-san!" he warned, and something in his voice made the sniveling singer shut up.

Yuki took a gentle hold of Seguchi's right wrist. "It's all right, ani," he assured him. "He's just upset about this like the rest of us, don't worry about it."

Seguchi looked at him quizzically for a few long seconds, but then he relented and pulled back from Sakuma.

The others stared at him with wide eyes. Most probably they were all wondering why the N-G president was so protective of him - and why he kept touching him reassuringly so casually - because Shuichi had been the only one let in on the big secret of Seguchi Touma's affections. None of these people had the slightest clue what went on in Seguchi's mind - or heart, for that matter. Except maybe for Fujisaki, of course. But Yuki doubted even that moron could sense just how strong Touma's feelings for the novelist were.

Not even Yuki himself understood them.

He was not even sure he _wanted_ to understand them.

There was also a possibility that it was the fact that he had called him "ani" that took these people by surprise. Yuki was quite sure that they all knew that Seguchi was married to his sister Mika, but the cold-hearted bastard Yuki Eiri calling anyone brother was most probably just too much for them to take.

K cleared his throat to break the oppressing silence between them. They all turned their attention to him. "Well, I suggest that we all go home and try to get some sleep, because there is nothing we can do now," he told them solemnly. "Tomorrow we will meet and decide what the best course of action will be. Until then I will make a few phone calls and see where we stand weapon-wise. And Yuki-san," he added almost like an afterthought, "try not to think too much about this. I will do everything in my power to help you find Shuichi, and I can promise you that with me on your side you actually have an honest chance."

Yuki nodded.


	18. A Dream Almost Fulfilled

**A Dream Almost Fulfilled**

¤¤¤FIFTEEN HOURS AFTERWARDS¤¤¤

* * *

Yuki did not feel like being alone, so he reluctantly asked Seguchi to stay over. The good president consented almost immediately and offered to sleep on the couch since the novelist had no guestroom. Well, they had been sitting in the dark living room talking for more than four hours, anyway, and it was already twelve thirty and Yuki did not trust Seguchi to drive his car...

Yeah, he had to stay. He told himself that he only asked him to stay because he did not want him to drive his car home in the middle of the night. So he silently made a temporary bed for the president on the sofa and stood scratching the back of his head nervously for a while before muttering an awkward good night.

"Oyasumi-nasai," (_Good night_) Seguchi said in a low, tender voice and smiled faintly at him. Then he just lay down, out of sight of Yuki behind the back of the sofa.

He went into his bedroom and closed the door behind him. Considered locking it. But then he just shrugged and threw himself down on his back on his side of the bed. Seguchi would not be so stupid as to try anything. Sure, he loved him, he obsessed about him, but he was not a rapist. He would not even sneak into the bedroom only to touch Yuki's face or look at him for an hour or two. He was a self-restrained pervert.

He firmly shook his head at himself. These thoughts were only an excuse not to think of the inevitable. Beside him, the empty spot on the bed was screaming. He could hear it, almost as if it was a living thing. _The emptiness._

He lay awake, staring up at the ceiling. Each time a car passed in the street below two pillars of golden light danced across its surface. Their lazy movements should have been enough to make him drowsy, but instead they increased his nervous energy, and he restlessly thrashed on the bed. After a while, he reached out a hand to touch Shuichi, for that simple action always put his mind to rest regardless of how occupied it was with story plots, or how troubled his soul was that particular night. Having him there beside him had become a solace, a comfort. He had already forgotten that Shuichi was not there, and when his hand touched upon nothing but air and rumpled sheets, his agitation only grew.

"Shu..."

As if saying the name could magically bring him back, Yuki stared at the empty spot beside himself, willing his husband to materialize and comfort him in his misery. Naturally, nothing miraculous happened. Not even a mirage would show itself. The power of a novelist's mind could not undo a kidnapping in the real world, but only erase them from a piece of paper or a computer screen with his hands.

Refusing to think more about Shu's possible whereabouts, his condition, or his life for that matter, he defiantly closed his eyes and tried to will himself to sleep instead. That did not work, either. With a profoundly frustrated sigh, he slowly rose from the bed and began to shuffle toward the door. There, he hesitated. Considered going back to bed and forget all about what he had intended to do. But the prospect of lying awake all night alone in a bed made for two made him _re_consider.

He opened the door and exited the bedroom.

The living room was dark and quiet - tranquil. The milky moonlight forced its way in through the big window panes and painted the walls, floor and furniture different shades of dirty blue. It almost gave the room a ghastly and eerie quality.

He only hesitated for three seconds before addressing his guest. "Touma?"

The president instantly sat up in his temporary bed on the sofa, as if he had been lying there quietly waiting and hoping for Yuki to come and ask him this very favor. But there was no expectation in his eyes, which were only dimly visible in the gloom, no trace of romantic hopes or sexual tension, only compassion and a willingness to assist in any way possible. Yuki felt grateful for that, and somehow it made it easier for him to say it. "Yes?"

He shifted his feet awkwardly. "I was wondering..." He fell silent. It was as if the words he wished to say were all stuck somewhere deep in his throat, and it took him a lot of mental persuasion to swallow his pride and continue. He cleared his throat. "This is the first time Shuichi's not sleeping in the bed with me for a long time... and it feels awkward, you know, being alone... So, Touma, do you think that you could..?" Once again, he had to stop to resort to some inner persuasion. God, why was it so fucking difficult to ask a friend a simple question! He sighed and worked up the needed courage. "Do you think that you could maybe sleep beside me in the bed, just so I won't have to be alone in there?" he finally managed to squeeze out.

Seguchi remained seated for a short while, but then he slowly rose from the sofa. Yuki had lent him a pair of pyjama bottoms, and they were four inches too short in the legs and had a rather loose fit on him. He looked quite comical, especially with his hair standing on end like that. Instead of walking up to Yuki he remained standing by the sofa, studying him. Solemnly, he said, "Yeah, sure. I'll sleep with you."

The ease with which he said that, and the nonchalance in his voice, sent a shiver down Yuki's spine.

The president must have sensed his uneasiness, because he laughed in a disarming manner. "Don't worry, I didn't mean it like that," he assured him truthfully. "Believe me, Eiri-san, I have no intention of pressuring you into intimacy that you do not want. I am only here as a friend, as a support for you during a difficult time, I understand that, and so I will be what you need me to be." There was a crushing sadness in him when he said it, a sadness that Yuki could now understand, but there was nothing he could do for his brother-in-law in this case. Therefore, he nodded silently and turned back to the bedroom.

He knew the president would follow.

They lay down on the bed, Yuki on the left side and Seguchi on the right, both staring up at the ceiling. Yuki had thought that he would feel better with Seguchi beside him - safer - but his restlessness only increased further. As if in defiance, he turned his back on the N-G president and stared at the wall instead. When he closed his eyes he saw Shuichi, smiling lovingly at him, and he wished to touch him, to be held. It felt like several hours passed before he found the strength to ask his second favor that night. "Touma?"

"Yes," the president answered instantly. He had not been asleep, and Yuki had the strange feeling that he had forced himself to stay awake in case the novelist needed him. That both warmed and saddened him. Seguchi expected nothing whatsoever in return, but he was willing to sacrifice everything for Yuki.

He almost felt bad for asking. But he had to, or he would go mad. "Could you... could you hold me? Please..."

Without hesitation, Seguchi put his left arm around Yuki's abdomen, came to rest so close to him that he could hear his slow, peaceful breathing and feel each warm breath stir the hairs on his neck. The warmth of his body spread to Yuki's in no time, and it actually felt good. Finally he felt some solace. Without even being aware of it himself, he snuggled closer into the other man's embrace. He sighed with content. "Touma?"

"Yes, Eiri-san?"

"If I asked you a question... you would answer me truthfully, right? No matter what my question was?" he wondered.

"Yes," the president said. Yuki could feel him tense slightly in anticipation of the imminent question. He was a _curious_, perverted bastard, Yuki corrected himself silently.

The first one was easy enough to ask. "Do you love me?"

"Yes," Seguchi replied without hesitation.

"I mean REALLY love me," Yuki elaborated. "Not just like a friend or a brother-in-law..."

"Yes," Seguchi repeated. "I love you."

"How long? How long have you loved me?"

"Since I first saw you."

"But I was only fifteen..."

"Yes, I know it's incredible, but to me it was love at first sight. It didn't matter that I was 24 and already a grown man. At first I thought I was just in love with your innocence, with the purity of your youth, something I had long forgotten about, but as you grew older I realized that it was you I loved. I guess I've been silently hoping these past seven years... Hoping you'd see in me what I have always seen in you." He fell silent, as if to give Yuki some time to mull his words over.

The next question - the one he had to ask - was more difficult to utter. "And what about Mika?" he prodded. "Do you love her, too?"

For the first time that night, Seguchi did not answer him immediately. He was silent for a long while, probably trying to sort his feelings out and search for the right words to describe them. Then: "Yes..." Some hesitation in his words.

Yuki frowned in the darkness. "Do you mean like a husband should love a wife, or do you merely love her as a friend you've known for a long time?" He felt real shitty for pressuring his brother-in-law like that, but he had to do it, he had to know. And he needed a distraction.

Seguchi sighed deeply. "I am sorry to say this, Eiri-kun, but I have been a lousy husband," he confessed. "And I don't mean just now, I mean during our entire marriage. When she lost the baby two years ago... she didn't even tell me. When I found out by mistake, she had already carried that pain and that loss for three months. I didn't even notice that her belly wasn't growing like it should be, because I was so wrapped up in you. I have tried my best to make up for that, and it pains me to think that it took me eighteen months to give her another baby. But I just felt so hypocritical... here I am married to her, but in love with her brother. So, yes, Eiri-kun, I love her as a friend I have known for a very long time, but I do not love her as a husband should love his wife. It is terrible, but I don't. I only love you."

Yuki was stunned. "So you only married her..."

"... to be close to you," Touma finished bitterly. "Sometimes I regret it deeply. I shouldn't have consented to your fathers plans for your sister and me, I have only hurt her."

Suddenly Yuki realized how it must feel for Touma to be lying there, holding him, being so close to him and still not be able to give in to his feelings. Somewhat similar to what Yuki felt with Shuichi being gone, probably. He must be so frustrated. This was what he had dreamed about _for seven years_, maybe even longer, and he still was not able to live that dream, to act on it. Sure, he could hold Yuki, but he could not kiss him, could not touch him, could not make love to him... because Yuki was already sworn to another man. Which was immensely ironic.

He was trapped inside his own dream.

Ultimately he could not restrain himself completely anymore, and Yuki could hear him inhale a deep breath close to his ear, and he knew the older man sought more than oxygen in his hair. He moved the arm that he was holding around Yuki a little bit further up his chest, but only briefly. Nothing more than that. Then he lowered it again and simply held him, but he allowed his grip to firm slightly. Yuki could sense his profound longing to be ever closer and to touch the novelist, feel him under his fingertips.

"Touma..."

"I'm sorry... I can't help it..."

"I know. Touma, it's okay. You can come closer if you want to."

Seguchi was quiet for a long time. "Are you sure?"

"Yeah. I want you to. But not because I return the feelings that you have for me... but because I understand how this situation must be affecting you. With my Shu gone... I just want to be held. And I'm glad it's you, Seguchi... Please, just hold me a little tighter. Please."

Hearing a person say _I love you _and feeling a little intimacy was all that he needed.

And Touma held him tighter.

* * *

**A/N:** My fingers are literally burning from working so fast and furiously, but this story is sort of writing itself and I can't stop it. Aww, man, I really wanted to let Touma have all his dreams come true, especially after those juicy confessions of his, but I just can't let Yuki cheat on Shu, it wouldn't be fair. ¤mope¤ I just feel so much sympathy for the poor man... and I don't like Mika. Sorry. More chapter _veeery_ soon, I promise... Please do tell me what you think of these new chapters. I am dying to know/piper


	19. Is Touma Sleepy-Sleepy?

**A/N:** Time to throw in the jealous brother... or, well, should I maybe say the fanatic, sex-crazed stalker of a brother... Yeah, it's Tatsuha, baby!

* * *

**Is Touma Sleepy-Sleepy?**

¤¤¤24 HOURS AFTERWARDS¤¤¤

* * *

Yuki woke when the sunlight that shone in through the window touched upon his face and itched his eyes open. So, he had slept. As he slowely came round he realized that Seguchi was still spooning with him. The arm that he had been holding tightly around the novelist now hung limply over his waist. Sometime during the night, the N-G president had snuggled up closer still and rested his head against Yuki's. His lips were now pressed against his shoulder.

Yuki could feel his slow, steady breathing against that same shoulder, just as well as hear it. Since they were both bare-chested, the heat that their bodies created between one another was immense, almost unbearable. But yet it was somehow reassuring.

Seguchi drew in a great breath and exhaled it in a deep sigh.

It was sort of amusing to have Seguchi Touma, talented musician and renowned producer, half-naked in his bed, and in such a vulnerable state at that. The man was neurotically afraid of scandals... Now, would not this have been a juicy one?

He chuckled quietly to himself, then he decided to wake him up.

"Seguchi?"

The president stirred slightly and moaned in protest.

"Seguchi, you're drooling on my shoulder," Yuki informed him with half a smile.

The other man kept stirring, but he still did not seem to want to wake up just yet. He murmured something against the novelist's shoulder.

Yuki laughed. "What?"

"I wanna see the rest of the movie first..." he grumbled testily and partly pulled away from Yuki. His lips traced four or five inches down his back and left a wet trail of saliva.

Yuki decided to try a different approach. "Touma... Ani...?"

"Mmmmm..."

"Okiyo, oniisan. (_Get the hell out of the bed, big brother._) We have a lot to do together today."

Slowly, slowly, Seguchi was coming round. As he woke up, he began to withdraw his arm but let it rest just above the novelist's hip for a couple seconds. "Thank you," he murmured, and kissed Yuki's shoulder. He pulled away and lay down on his back on the right side of the bed.

Yuki just grinned at him. "You're welcome, creep."


	20. Parcel for the Bad Guy

**Parcel for the Bad Guy**

"Did the package arrive?"

"Yes, sir. Arrived this morning. Sent it to processing."

"Good. And the yakuza?"

"Lost them when we left Japan. They have no idea that we've got the merchandise now."

"Perfect. Now, be sure to handle that parcel carefully - it's fragile."

"Yes, sir, I know, sir."

"All right. You are dismissed."

He hung up, pleased with himself. His prize had safely left Tokyo and arrived in New York, and in a matter of moments he would be free to play with it as much as he wanted. Oh, he was going to make him suffer. Suffer for everything that he had done to him, everything that he had taken away from him. And that fucking novelist would not even know what was coming for him... The proof had been planted. Now it was just awaiting discovery, and Hell on Earth would be released for one Eiri Yuki...


	21. Sexy Confession

**Sexy Confession**

¤¤¤25 HOURS AFTERWARDS¤¤¤

* * *

He actually ate breakfast that morning. He hardly ever did (perhaps because he normally was either working in his study or asleep because he had already worked the entire night through), but for some stupid and indefinable reason that bastard Seguchi inspired him to be a normal person and do normal-person-stuff. Weird how one night of closeness could change the relationship between two people so drastically... Had it been that way with Shu? He could not remember. He scolded himself for not remembering. How could he have forgotten something like that?

He noticed that Seguchi was watching him with an oddly dreamy look in his usually expressionless eyes. "What?" he asked, trying his best to sound as irritable and offended as possible.

Seguchi merely smiled. "I had a sex dream about you," he confessed in a conversational tone of voice.

Yuki dropped his coffee mug on the floor. With a clatter it came to a stop at his feet, and he did not even notice the burning pain in his foot when it was drowned in hot liquid. "Excuse me?" he breathed incredulously. He had never heard Seguchi speak so bluntly about anything before! What the hell had gotten into him?

The president laughed at his drop-jawed, wide-eyed puzzlement. "I'm sorry if I surprised you, but I feel like I can be much more open with you after last night. Weird, isn't it?"

Yuki absently grabbed the tablecloth and bent down to wipe the spilt coffee off the floor. "I guess..." he said numbly.

The president went on. "I believe it was triggered by our hugging," he observed ponderingly and scratched his morning beard. "I've never been so close to you before. My mind just kept spinning off into greater and greater depths... and it was the best experience I've ever had." He elegantly drank some miso soup from his bowl, and then, as if struck by an insight, he added, "Both the dream and what really happened."

Yuki winced. "I really didn't need that information, Seguchi-san," he complained and rose to throw the soaked tablecloth in the laundry.

Seguchi raised an eyebrown quizzically. "What's with all this courtesy all of a sudden, Eiri-kun? You've never called me 'san' before. Ever. And you don't need to," he assured him warmly.

Yuki stopped halfway to the bathroom. With a sigh, he said, "Yeah, I know. I just... you took me by surprise. You're right about one thing. It does feel as if we can be more open with one another after last night, but if you wanna come to any more slumber parties you better not share any of your sex dreams with me, Touma." He left the room with the president's laughter as the only background sound.


	22. The Kinky Kouhai

**The Kinky Kouhai**

It was getting harder and harder to resist; in the beginning they had only seen each other once every other week, but then their longing had grown so strong that they could hardly go one day without sneaking off together at least once. It was still a very brittle relationship - if you could even call it a relationship - and their sneaking around was slowly, but effectively, wearing them down. Not just because of all the lies they had to tell people they cared about, but because of the strain of pretending as if nothing was going on between them. Hell, sometimes he was not even sure that there was anything going on between them at all. Kouhai (_junior, opposite to senpai_) was always so... distant... so cold...

Whenever they happened to meet in the corridors of N-G, or anywhere else where there were other people around, Kouhai was always so hostile and acted as if he hated him. Sometimes he even wondered if that was how Kouhai really felt. Maybe he did hate him, deep in his heart.

But then there were moments like this one... when they were together, alone, and everything was magical... When they were together, Kouhai was sweet, warm, eager... kinky. He liked him kinky and did everything he was asked to do. Like calling him Kouhai and allowing him to call him Senpai. Junior and Senior. Strange, but it seemed to turn Kouhai on. And he liked to see Kouhai writhing in pleasure, liked to hear him shout and moan and gasp...

Like now. Kouhai was clasping his legs tightly around his back, desperately holding him fast on top of him, and his eyes were rolling, his eyelashes fluttering. His mouth hung open, and small squeaky noises escaped him between the gasps. His heavy breathing rang in Senpai's ears, the most beautiful sound he had ever heard. Then, all of a sudden, Kouhai said his name. Not "senpai", but his name. It made him so happy that he bent forward and hungrily pressed his lips to the younger man's while simultaneously rocking his hips a little bit faster.

Kouhai cried out wordlessly into his mouth, arching his back beautifully beneath him, and then he brought their lips together again, encouraging a slow, passionate tongue tango.

He could feel Kouhai's hand sliding up his back, his fingers carefully digging into his skin. And that was when he knew. Knew that he wanted to take their relationship to the next level - bring it out into the open. But first he needed to establish that what they had really was a relationship and not just sex. And he could not just come out and ask Kouhai forthrightly - the boy would never answer. He needed to indirectly influence the boy and make _him_ take the initiative.

How...?

It was suddenly very obvious.

He needed to make his dear Kouhai jealous. Then he would understand that Senpai was the one he really wanted.

Kouhai sighed deeply and said his name again.


	23. Battlefield or Just Tatsuha-kun?

**Battlefield or Just Tatsuha-kun?**

Forty minutes later they were walking through the glass doors to the lobby of the N-G building and found what might have been a war area. All the furniture were knocked over, burned or ripped to pieces. The plants were dead beyond doubt.

And in the middle of it all stood K, proudly surveying the site as if this was indeed a great victory. Yuki wondered if it had been so smart to ask him for help - maybe he would get them all killed before they could even embark on their Shu search. Touma did not seem all too concerned about the mayhem, though, but simply declared that he had considered remodeling the lobby anyway. Now he simply had a good reason not to postpone it anymore.

All of a sudden a frizzy-haired, charcoal-faced, camouflage-clad Sakuma emerged from behind half an armchair, holding a toy Uzi in one hand and a helmeted Kumagoro with a thick black line painted beneath each bead eye in the other. "Take that, you lousy alien life form!" he yelled at the top of his lungs and turned in a full 360-degree circle, spraying the lobby area with imaginary automatic gun rounds while adding the proper sound effects manually. It was not quite clear if he was referring to K or to someone only he could see. The man played with plushies, for fuck's sake... it could be that he was mowing down imaginary aliens in some sick game of his.

But in the next second another figure emerged from behind an overturned couch, a fishy kind with black tousled hair wearing a huge lizard costume and holding a toy bazooka in both his big, masculine hands. A figure all too familiar...

"Just try to get me, you disgusting little earthling! Muahahaha!" He made to dive for cover again, but the novelist had just about had it with their childishness and ignorance.

"TATSUHA!" he bellowed, and the guy jerked in fright.

For a moment he stood frozen in the debris of his and Sakuma's embarrassing cosplay game, but then he turned to his brother with a nervous smile on his dirty face. "Nii-chan!" (_Big bro'!_) he greeted him and giggled awkwardly. "What are you doing here? Hehe..."

Yuki walked up to him and grabbed him by the collar. Then he brusquely began to drag him away from the scattered furniture. "Oh, I don't know... maybe to organize a search party and set out to find Shuichi before his kidnappers decide to kill him off and make me a widower," he growled deep in his throat, but he did not allow his voice to raise a single note because he knew that he sounded more frightening if he spoke calmly and indifferently.

Tatsuha tried to wriggle free. "Bro, bro, yo! Leggo! I haven't done anything, I was just-"

"Trying to get inside Sakuma's pants?" Yuki finished with disapproval and reproach. "You disgust me, Tatsuha. Can't you leave the poor man alone?"

"Why?" Tatsuha demanded before he could stop himself. Then he slapped his hands over his mouth and gave his older brother a scared look.

_He's afraid of me_, Yuki concluded with satisfaction. _Good. Then he might actually do what I tell him to._

"Because he's in a right state right now and you should respect him instead of stalk him all the time," he rebuked.

He threw Tatsuha down on the floor by the receptionist's desk and confiscated the toy bazooka with authority. The woman behind the desk rose to aid Tatsuha, but Seguchi calmly told her that everything was all right and she should take a coffee break.

"I will hold up the fort," he promised her when she hesitated. She probably thought he was crazy, but she left reluctantly, glancing back now and then to make sure that he was still there. Not every shacho cared enough about his personel to encourage extra coffee breaks during which he himself would handle the reception area, so she probably felt chosen and disgustingly lucky.

"Thank you, ani," Yuki muttered to Seguchi, who winked knowingly at him.

Tatsuha was taken aback by this wondrous display of friendship. He looked from Yuki to Seguchi and then back. Pointed a trembling finger at them. "You... you came here together..! You..! Seguchi and... _you_!"

Yuki frowned. "Yeah. So?"

Once again, Tatsuha turned his head to look at the sheepishly smiling shacho. Blinked twice in befuddlement. "You slept together," he observed, stunned.

Yuki was so surprised by his statement that he dropped the bazooka on the floor. "What?" he breathed, and the words poured from him before he could stop them. "How did you know that?"

But then he understood why Tatsuha had reached that conclusion. It was not just their attitudes towards one another that had changed overnight, but the way they carried themselves around each other.

Before Shuichi was abducted, Yuki never would have allowed Seguchi to get so close to him, let alone to touch him now and then when he felt like it - and _he_ sure as hell would not have touched _Seguchi_ for the world. But now they fed off each other's strength, regularly exchanging supporting looks and touching each other, but not in any outspoken romantic way. Not even Touma, although Yuki was certain that the president would love to touch him all over if he got the thumbs up.

But the physical contact that they had was quite innocent. A hand on the shoulder, a mock slap on the back, an arm around the neck for a brief moment, a pinch in the side, high fives, roughling each other's hair teasingly... They were also more confident in each other's presence, and they were more comfortable with each other.

Of course it was apparent to anyone watching them that the barriers that had previously stood between them had now been torn down. There was no tension between them anymore.

But Tatsuha was swiftly getting the wrong idea about them - mostly because of Yuki's reply, admittedly - and he scrambled away from his brother with an incredulous look in his dark eyes. "You didn't!" he expelled with shock. He gave the same condemning look to Touma, who was now standing over him with arms crossed over his chest and an indifferent, but slightly arrogant expression on his face. "And with Seguchi-san! Eiri, you sure take every damn prize there is to take! You fucked your own sister's husband?! You... you... adulterer!" he shouted, spit flying out of his mouth.

Seguchi stepped on his hand. "I don't like that you chase after Ryuichi-san all the time, Tatsuha-kun," he scolded him.

Tatsuha cried out in surprise at the pain in his hand.

Yuki watched with raised eyebrows. It was so unlike Seguchi to be so blunt and forthright. But he encouraged it with a small nod. Then he turned his attention back to his brother. "Tatsuha," he said, demanding him to look at him.

Tatsuha glared up at him with fuming eyes.

"You're wrong about me and Seguchi," he said gravely, and his brother's eyes widened with astonishment. "We slept together, yes, but we didn't fuck. We shared a bed last night, that's all. You should know that I'd never do something like that to Shuichi. To Mika perhaps, but not to Shu. I needed someone there and Touma was kind enough to be there for me. He slept beside me in my and Shuichi's bed because I didn't want to be alone." He kicked Tatsuha in the shins. "I was upset because some dickhead decided to take my Shu without permission - and the first thing you conclude is that I cheated on him with Seguchi, is it?"

Tatsuha obviously sensed his immense rage, for he squeezed his eyes shut and raised his arms in front of his face for protection. "I'm sorry, Oniisan! I'm sorry! I didn't think straight!" he whined.

"Damned right you didn't," Yuki agreed generously. "Now apologize."

"I apologize! I apologize!"

"Good. Now apoligize to Touma."

"I am sorry, Touma!"

"Apology accepted," Seguchi said solemnly.

But Yuki kicked Tatsuha again. "Wrong answer," he said harshly. "You're not in any position to be so friendly with him. Now, what do you say, Tatsuha?"

Tatsuha stared at him incredulously. But then he sighed and said, "I'm sorry, Ojiisan (_old man_)."

Yuki flung himself down on the floor and pinned his brother down in a fit of fury. "What did you say?!" he hissed. "Are you calling him an old man?! You'd better apologize twice now - and make it damned good or I'll give you a dental you'll never forget!" he bellowed ruthlessly.

"But he's older than me!" Tatsuha objected, offended.

"He's just as old as that Sakuma you're chasing after! Do you call him Ojiisan?"

"No!"

"Then what the fuck's the problem here?"

Tatsuha tried to push him away, but he would not relent. "All right, all right! I'll apologize!" he said, and Yuki finally let go of him. Taking a deep breath, he said, "I am utterly sorry that I accused you of adultery with my brother, Seguchi-sama - and for calling you an old fart," he added when he noticed that Yuki was preparing to jump him again. Then he scrambled up from the floor and brushed the dust off his clothes with dignity. "Geez. Cut the cord, will ya?"

"What was that?" Yuki demanded, snarling deep in his throat. But before he could lash out at his otouto again someone jumped _him_ from behind.

"Leave him alone!" Sakuma pleaded pathetically and squeezed his arms around the novelist's throat. "You're being mean, Tsuki (_moon_)!"

Yuki blinked. "Tsuki? Look, we really don't have time for this. We have to find Shuichi."

The singer's eyes immediately began to water. "Shuichiiii..." he wailed miserably and hugged Kumagoro in sudden desperation.

Tatsuha watched them with furrowed brows. "What is all this about Shuichi?" he asked and sounded exceptionally stupid.

Yuki sighed irritably and massaged his temples. "Shuichi has been kidnapped and we are gathering here today to decide how to search for him," he explained tiredly. "Either you join us or you get the hell out of here before I punch your face in. First you insult me and accuse me of adultery, then you mock me, and now you annoy me... Boy, you sure are busy these days, Tatsuha. I'm surprised you even have time to chase after Ryuichi anymore."

"E?" Sakuma said sheepishly and pointed at himself. "Me? But Tatsuha only chases me for fun, like when we're playing tag, or hide and seek, or-"

"All right, all right, I get it - now shut up."

"Wakatta." (_Understood._)

When they had finally managed to settle their feelings and decided to cooperate to get Shuichi back home safely K had already put out his entire arsenal on display. There were so many different pistols, revolvers, automatic guns, bazookas, rockets and suchlike that they could have declared war on China and won even though they were only five people. Yuki commented as much to the grinning manager. "Seven," he corrected the novelist.

Yuki blinked. Then he realized that Nakano and Fujisaki had joined them.

"Eight!" Sakuma accused and thrust Kumagoro in K's face.

"Eight!" K agreed happily. "The more the merrier, as we say in America!"

"Can we go already?" Yuki asked impatiently, stamping his feet repeatedly. He felt like a child, but he did not care.

To his surprise, Sakuma flung his arm around Tatsuha's shoulders and beamed at them all. "Hai! Ikou ka, Tatsuha-tachi! (_Yes! Let's go, Tatsuha and everyone!_) Let us all try our best and find Shuichi! We shall search high and low until we have covered all of Tokyo! Ganbarou! Hai, hai!" (_Let's do our best! Yes, sir, we will!_)

Yuki blinked in astonishment.

So did Tatsuha. But then he melted and grinned sheepishly. He looked like he was about to faint of happiness. Swiftly, he seized the opportunity as it presented itself to him, and he sleekly put his arm around Sakuma's waist. Chuckled quietly to himself. "Hai!" (_All right!_) he said in reply to Sakuma's astonishing monologue. "Let's do our very best at finding the poor bastard!"

"Vocalist," Yuki corrected him sourly.

"Riiiight..."

Fujisaki gave them a murderous look, and then he left the lobby.


	24. The Disturbing Message

**The Disturbing Message**

¤¤¤36 HOURS AFTERWARDS¤¤¤

* * *

Nothing. The first day of searching had amounted to nothing. Not that Yuki had expected miracles the first day, but... it still felt fucking frustrating not to find one single clue. K had called in a favor with some freak criminal investigator and ordered him to sweep the area around Yuki's apartment to see if they could find anything that would lead them to the kidnappers' current whereabouts. After many hours of thorough investigation his team concluded that if there had been any evidence on the scene it was gone now.

So they had nothing to base their route on, which meant that they had been searching randomly in pairs of two. (K had searched on his own, using methods that Yuki never wanted to witness again.) Yuki and Seguchi had not said a word to each other the entire day, and when they finally returned home at 9.30 in the evening they were both exhausted and sulky.

They slumped down next to each other on the sofa.

When the phone rang thirty minutes later, Yuki was in the shower. He heard it ringing, but he had no desire to get out and get it. Therefore he called out to Seguchi: "Touma, could you take that, please?"

But then, for some reason he could not explain, he sensed that this call was important somehow, and so he turned off the water to listen when the president went into the kitchen to answer.

"Yes, this is Yuki Eiri's residence, Seguchi speaking." There was a long silence before the president said anything else. But when he did speak, Yuki's heart froze to ice. "What? You found something?"

Without giving a damn that he was wet and naked, he rushed out to the kitchen and snatched the phone from Seguchi's hands. "This is Yuki Eiri, who is this?" he demanded fiercely.

"Tokyo police, sir," a cold voice said at the other end of the line. "We found the car that was used to abduct your... er... boyfriend, Yuki-san." The police officer sounded very awkward and uncomfortable saying that.

Yuki drew in a deep breath. "You found the car? Where?"

Seguchi stiffened and mouthed the words _my car_...

There was an uncomfortably long pause before the police officer spoke again. "_Ano_... (_Well…_) The car was found outside an old, deserted warehouse that hasn't been used for years, but unfortunately that wasn't everything we found." Another pause that totally scared Yuki half out of his wits. "We found a body."

Yuki's heart stopped in that moment. He could even feel his face pale. "You... you found a body?"

Seguchi's face got twisted with pain, and he put an arm around the novelist to give him his support. "_Oh no_..." he whispered almost inaudibly. Slowly, but firmly, he stroked Eiri's back, and right then the novelist loved him for it.

"...Shindou," the officer said, but Yuki had been temporarily deaf because of the terrible news.

"What?" he said. "I'm sorry, sir, but I didn't get that..."

"It is not Shindou, we are positive since he was such a public person, but..."

"It's not Shuichi? Oh, thank God!" he exhaled, and he loved the president even more when his face lit up with hope and his lips curved in a fragile smile. They almost laughed with relief.

"That is correct," the police officer confirmed. "But as it is, I would advise you not to get your hopes up too much. If the kidnappers are killing off their own people, then anything could happen to Shindou-san."

Yes, that was what Yuki had been afraid of, but simply hearing him say that the body hadn't belonged to Shuichi gave him enough strength to go on. He told the officer that he would take a look at the warehouse first thing in the morning and also take a trip to the morgue and see if he recognized the body of the abductor. There was a big chance that Shuichi had been kidnapped by someone they knew. The police officer told him that the man's name was Bill Reed.

"I recognize that name from somewhere," Touma said with a frown and met Yuki's eyes. "Where have I heard that before?"

Yuki hung up. "How should I know? Sleep on it."

When the shock lifted for both of them, the president's facial expression changed dramatically. Instead of being concerned and thoughtful, he became curious and amused. Very slowly he let his gaze travel over Yuki's body, down, down, down it went, until he reached his nether regions. There it made a pause, and the president whistled with approval. "Not bad, Eiri. Not bad at all."

At first Yuki did not understand what he was on about, but then he realized that he was fresh out of the shower and definitely _not_ wearing a towel. Desperately he snatched up the first thing he got his hands on - a music magazine that Shuichi had left on the counter by the phone - and covered himself with it. "I'm naked!" he yelled, beside himself, as if he had not given it a thought before. "You were _staring_!" he hissed accusatory.

Seguchi blushed. "I'm sorry, I couldn't help it..." He was _smiling_, for God's sake! _Smiling!_ The perverted bastard... He looked quite pleased with himself. "I was holding you when you were naked, and I didn't even realize it," he said as if he had just discovered that he had ten toes just like every other normal person and was exhilarated about that.

Yuki started to back out of the kitchen. He shot angry glares at the president and hoped he looked _really_ scary. "You are _not_ sleeping in _my_ bed tonight!" he declared, and realized how utterly stupid that sounded.

But when he felt too exhausted to stay up any longer and decided that it was time to go to bed, he felt reluctant to confront the empty bed. One of the kidnappers were dead. Shuichi was in mortal danger. The decision was not hard to make; he asked Touma. And so they went to bed and lay side by side, staring up into the ceiling, until Yuki allowed Touma to hold him like the night before. It was easier to do that than to miss Shuichi's touch, even though he felt bad for wishing to forget about the abduction for a few hours. This time it was easy to go to sleep.

* * *

**A/N:** Okay, now it's official: I just _have_ to write an AU about Seguchi/Yuki now! There is no escaping it anymore! (But it will be an AU without Shuichi, though, because I don't wanna spoil anything for them... :p) I just can't let go of the idea of Touma finally getting everything that he's ever dreamed of... yeah, I'll do that. Soooooon. ¤droooollll¤

And about all this with the whistling and the looking and the hugging and everything else - I am sorry! I realize I've changed Touma quite a deal, and that he has gone far away from his original pattern as a character - but I like him like this! (And I still refuse to write his name with an H! It's a prolonged O, for crying out loud! Touma!) And I like Yuki when he's showing his soft sides, too... But my favorite is still Sakuma-san. Itsumo. ;)

More Sakuma-san! ¤muahahahaha¤


	25. Promise

**A/N:** I haven't had access to a computer for a while now, so I haven't been able to update until now. Sumimasen! But now I have _maaany_ new chapters for you. And there's still many more to come. Thanks to those who have reviewed _Nakushita_ so far! Please keep giving me your opinions, they really help me in my work. And I have now added translations to all previous Japanese sentences, I'm sorry I forgot to do that before. I have of course translated all the new Japanese sentences as well. Hope you'll enjoy the story.

* * *

**Promise**

¤¤¤2 DAYS AFTERWARDS¤¤¤

* * *

It was a huge warehouse, but it turned out that the kidnappers only had been using one of the small rooms that had served as office when some company had housed their business there. The floor was littered with scraps of old yellowed paper and covered with a thick layer of dust. In the middle of the room there were signs of someone having lain in the dust, and there were also signs of a struggle. At the far end, two straight-backed chairs had been drawn up to a small table scarred by years of use. There were several fresh cigarette burns on the wooden surface. Someone had carved the word _RIVER_ into the wood.

Yuki studied it with a deep frown on his troubled forehead. "Amerikajin?" (_Americans?_) he observed, this being directed at detectives Hameba and Kimura who stood three feet behind him, watching him suspiciously as he moved around the room.

Seguchi stayed in the doorway.

"Well, we can't be sure that it's actually got a connection to the kidnappers," Kimura said awkwardly, "but yeah, this warehouse used to be used by Americans. Some sort of IT company, I believe. But as I said, it probably has nothing to do with the kidnappers. Just someone having a bore some decade or two ago."

Yuki shrugged and continued his slow investigation of the small room. He stopped in front of the place where someone had been lying in the inch-deep dust. Knelt down to touch the spot. "Shuichi..."

A loud gasp made him turn his attention to the doorway, where Seguchi was now hugging himself with an expression of utter terror on his pallid face.

Yuki frowned. "What's wrong with you?"

His brother-in-law looked up, but he did not seem to see anything. His eyes were glazed over, and he was making an eerie "uh-uh-uh-uh"-sound that totally freaked Eiri out. Instead of hugging himself he clutched his chest with his left hand. It was shaking bad. He looked as if he was about to have some sort of seizure. Before Yuki knew it, the blond president had turned on his heel and run squealing towards the back of the warehouse.

The novelist gazed after him with knitted brows.

"What the hell happened to him?" detective Hameba wondered.

Yuki ignored him and continued to scrutinize every inch of the small office. Small shivers of fear traveled up and down his spine, twinging in his every nerve, when he came across the blood stains that had been left behind by the corpse. If anything had happened to his Shu... if they had so much as dyed his beautiful black hair... he would fucking kill them. All of them. Yuki Kitazawa would have a whole bunch of new friends crowding around his gravestone if he found out that they had hurt Shuichi. "And that, you kidnapping motherfuckers... is a _promise_."


	26. You're a Good Boy, Aren't You?

**You're a Good Boy, Aren't You?**

¤¤¤2 DAYS AND 5 HOURS AFTERWARDS¤¤¤

* * *

_Slam_.

His back against the wall, cold hands around his throat, pressing so hard that he almost could not breathe. Yet he felt perversely enervated, vibrant with sexual tension. The boy sure knew how to handle his senpai (_senior_) to receive maximum effect. For a while now, he had been afraid that his new tactics were not working, but now here was the proof that they were. The dear kouhai (_junior_) would not be this furious with him if he had not in fact been affected by his creativeness and his new flirtatious manners.

Now the little aggressor slammed him against the wall anew.

He took a dark pleasure from having his head knocked to a pulp.

"What the fuck are you playing at?" Kouhai shouted-hissed between clenched teeth.

He couldn't help but laugh. "Playing at? What are you talking about? I'm just being my usual jubilant self."

"Like Hell you are!" Kouhai yelled accusatory and tightened his grip on his senpai's collar. "I've seen how you look at him! I've seen how you let him touch you as if he owned you or something, and I don't like it!" Spit flew from his mouth.

The senpai grinned with self-satisfaction. "Oh, you don't like it, you say? And what are you going to do about it? I'm a grown man, I decide what I want to do with my time. You should make up your mind about what _you_ want – maybe that'd save us a few meaningless arguments."

The kouhai's hands slid down from his collar to his upper chest, just like he wanted them to. He gasped a little when those hands briefly massaged the areas around his nipples. "You want to break me down?" Kouhai asked perceptively. "You want to break down my defences and force a confession out of me? Alright, give it your best shot. You'll never succeed." He pinched his senpai's nipples to punish him.

A chuckle escaped him. "Ouch! You already figured it out? Good boy. Rikou-na kouhai desu ne? (_You're a good junior, aren't you?_) But you're wrong. I _will_ succeed. You've already confessed to not liking it, haven't you?"

Now it was the kouhai's turn to laugh. "You shrewd bastard! Two can play this game, you know." He made a brief pause to look his senpai over with approving eyes. Maybe he liked the new sweater he'd bought. Or maybe it's the bunny. "But right now I'm more interested in getting you naked..."

"Oh, really? Then what are you waiting for?"


	27. Setting the Little Bird Free

**Setting the Little Bird Free**

¤¤¤2 DAYS AND 8 HOURS AFTERWARDS¤¤¤

* * *

"You've gone through all the paperwork now," Seguchi sighed with a note of boredome in his voice. "Isn't it enough?" He kicked at the legs of the chair in front of him. He did not like the idea of spending the evening at the police station, and they had already been there all afternoon...

"If you don't like it you can just leave," the novelist informed him gravely without lifting his gaze. He looked somewhat dorky with his glasses on, but Touma found it extremely cute.

"No, you need me," he said firmly and rubbed his tired eyes. Did not get much sleep when he was too occupied being euphoric about holding Eiri-kun. He knew they could never be a thing, that holding him in his moment of weakness would be his only experience of being "intimate" with Eiri, but he still could not help fantasizing about it. He could not help hoping that somehow, someday, they could overcome all their obstacles and be together.

_Now, see, there's that whole business about reading too much into it again_, he admonished himself in his mind. _There are no obstacles of the sort you're thinking, dear Touma. To be hindered by obstacles means you have to be lovers first, and we're not. We're friends. We're brothers. I have to convince myself that we're brothers or I'll go crazy. We're brothers. We're brothers. We're—_

"Touma? Are you all right?"

He jerked when the novelist addressed him so directly. "Uh, yeah. I'm fine. Just fine." But the smile he tried on even felt fake and plastic.

Eiri was watching him with genuine concern. Then he sighed and took off his glasses. Shook his tousled hair out. It fell in beautiful strands around his handsome face. "It's okay if you take a rest, you know," he told the president softly. "Go home. Lie down for a while. Spend some time with your wife and your baby. Or, well, future baby anyway. I'll manage."

Touma felt very reluctant to leave him there alone. "Are you sure...?"

Eiri actually found a smile for him. "Yeah, I'm sure. Go get some rest, okay?"

Resting was his original intent when he left the police station and called Sakano-san to pick him up. The Bad Luck producer was always eager to serve him any way possible, and Seguchi did not at all feel bad for using him now and them. And at a time like this, he would much rather have a chauffeur drive him than drive himself. He could not risk crashing now; Eiri needed him. And being this tense and worried all the time... no, he definitely could not drive.

But when he got home... well, resting was not really on his mind. The moment he saw Mika he knew what he had to do. He should have done it years ago. It was not right of him to keep her locked up like this. (Well, not literally, but emotionally and psychologically locked up, anyway.)

She deserved a better life than what he had to offer her, and she definitely deserved to be happy. When she smiled at him and welcomed him home he felt something die inside of him. All those years of marriage, and he had not been able to give her anything. He felt guilty and ashamed – and determined to end her misery once and for all.

"Mika-san, we need to get a divorce," he blurted out, shocked by his own bluntness. He always made a habit of sugarcoating everything to ensure minimum hurt for everyone, but this time he did not have the energy to.

She stopped dead and stared at him with wide-open eyes. "What?"

"I am sorry, Mika-san, but I can't let you live this life anymore, I am not worthy of you. You need someone who can take care of you and love you as well as support you. I can't do that, and we both know it. No matter how hard I try, I can't love you. It hurts me, but I will never be able to love you the way you deserve to be loved. Please don't hold it against me, I just..."

"Love my brother," Mika filled in with a sad smile. "Yeah, I know."

"Gomen-nasai, Mika-san. Watashi no sei desu. Yurushite kudasai." (_I'm awfully sorry, Mika-san. It is all my fault. Please forgive me._)

She came over to him and put her hand on his cheek. With a tender smile, she slowly caressed him. "There is nothing to forgive, Touma," she ensured him. "You haven't done anything wrong. You have done everything you could to give me the best life possible, and I will always be grateful for it. This was bound to fail from the start. But you don't say no to my father very easily."

"Eiri said no," Touma objected poutily.

"Yes, but Eiri's a dickhead. You're not, Touma. You're a very fine man. Sometimes I wish things could have been different... but I'm not bitter because they aren't. If you want to divorce me I'm not gonna stop you."

Touma exhaled in a sigh of relief. Some of the weight lifted from his heart. "I am glad to hear that, Mika-san. And once again, I'm sorry. Keep this place, will you? You will need it when your baby comes. You can ask Kohashi-san to move in with you."

Mika looked surprised. "But what about you? Where will you live?"

A faint smile searched its way into his normally emotionless face. "For now, I will stay with Eiri-kun. He needs me, and he's asked me to stay with him until they find Shuichi. Have you heard?" He told Mika about the abduction and the cold trace that the police were following.

"What? He never told me about any kidnapping!" she expelled indignantly.

"Eiri doesn't speak with you much, does he? Well, don't tell him you heard it from me. I'll see you around, Mika-san. I wish you all the best. The paperwork will be in the mail by tomorrow."

Next, he went to the N-G building with the intention of spending a couple hours in his roomy office, one of few places he felt completely comfortable in. He knew he would be able to relax there. And he would be alone.

But when he got to his office, his plans were changed. As soon as he opened the door he knew something was wrong. There was a light on in there, and nobody should be in there. Puzzled, and a little alarmed, he stopped in the doorway.

And then he spotted them.

By the desk. Bent over it. Leaning against it. Naked. Joined from behind.

Touma was so shocked he backed away from the sight and hastily shut the door on it. He at least had the presence to do it quietly so they would not notice him.

But Ryuichi and...!

His first instinct was to cover it up – cover it up like he always covered up his bands' scandals. He had covered up for Bad Luck a zillion times. Now he needed to cover up for his own band as well. That felt strange.

He took out his cell phone and pressed the speed dial. "Yes, hello? This is Seguchi. Could you send someone over to disinfect my desk tomorrow morning, please? As early as possible, please. Yes. Thank you very much, I appreciate it."

After he had hung up he scribbled down _Please do not disturb – important meeting in progress_ on a big piece of paper and taped it to the office doors in hope that that would keep away anyone who might come seeking him there.

That was all he could do for Ryuichi at the moment, and he just hoped that the singer would be a little bit more careful in choosing locale for his rendevouzes with his lover in the future.

He placed another call on his cell that evening. According to his wrist watch it was 8 PM already. Eiri had been alone for two and a half hours.

When the novelist picked up, he said, "Moshi moshi, watashi desu. Eiri-kun wa dochira desu ka? (_Hey, it's me._ _Where are you, Eiri-kun?_) What? You're still down at the police station? I'm picking you up, I'll be there in... Huh? Another hour? Alright. I'll just go ahead and make you something to eat, then. It'll be ready when you get home. Okay. Dewa mata." (_Talk to you later._)


	28. Make Those Fingers His

**Make Those Fingers His**

¤¤¤2 ½ DAYS AFTERWARDS¤¤¤

* * *

He watched the boy as he buttoned his violet silk shirt. Those boyish, slender fingers moved with such grace that they seemed to be going over more serious business than simple clothing. Amazing how such a simple act could affect him so completely.

It was almost like hypnosis. Suddenly he was filled with a need to makes those hands, those fingers, his. Whenever the boy touched him, he could not tell his own fingers from the boy's; they were all his fingers. But now... when they were about to part again...

"Yubi..." (_Fingers..._)

The boy looked up with bewilderment in his grave, dark eyes. "What?"

"Omae no yubi... utsukushii da yo. Ore no mon ni shitai yo." (_Your fingers__... they're beautiful. I want to make them mine_.)

He had always treasured honesty and would not lie to the kid; he was intent on telling him his exact thoughts and impulses. If he was to succeed in making the kid his, and only his, he would have to be forthright and damned bold. Kouhai would not let himself be persuaded so easily.

The boy glared at him disapprovingly for a few long moments before replying. "I'm not fond of you using the word 'omae' when referring to me – it's rude," he said, and turned his gaze away as a demonstration of offense. He pulled on his black blazer.

The senpai got up from the desk, on which he had been sitting, dangling his legs playfully over the edge. "Gomen. (_Sorry_.) I didn't mean to offend you, I say 'omae' to everyone," he tried to explain to smooth it over.

"I don't like it."

"Kouhai, gomeen. Would you prefer 'kimi'? That means 'you', too. And since you're younger than me, 'kimi' would be more suitable."

"We're colleagues. You should treat me with some respect, Senpai. I'm not a kid anymore – I'll be of age in just a month's time." The boy picked up his keys from the floor. He would be out the door any minute, and the senpai did not want him to leave just yet. Not like this.

"What would you like me to call you, then?" he asked in the hope of the boy saying he could use his first name.

Kouhai started toward the doors. "If you have to talk to me, use 'watashi' and 'anata', thank you," was his only words as he flung them open and stormed out.

He gazed after the boy. Why did he always have to be so _angry_?

He wished they could be like a normal couple.

If they even _were_ a couple.


	29. K as in KO

**K as in K.O.**

¤¤¤3 DAYS AND 3 HOURS AFTERWARDS¤¤¤

* * *

Yuki had read through all the police reports thrice without finding anything fishy. He did not know exctly what he expected to find, because he did not doubt that the police were doing everything they could to find Shu, but he still did not trust them.

He needed to do it himself. It would not count unless he did it himself. Shuichi would never forgive him if it was not Yuki himself that found him. Therefore he summoned K as soon as he woke on the third morning and took him to that warehouse. It was a felony to trespass on a murder scene, but Yuki did not care, and neither did K (which was not very surprising).

Yuki and Seguchi stood just inside the doorway, leaning against the wall, as the Bad Luck manager swept the area with some weird goggles that kept making a strange humming noise. When he reached the table he cried out in triumph.

Yuki rushed forward. "What? What have you found?" he wondered eagerly.

K pointed at the word _RIVER_ that had been carved into the wooden surface. "Look at this," he said with a self-satisfied grin.

The novelist sighed irritably. "I've already seen that," he told the manager with disappointment. "Keep searching." He made to walk back to Seguchi to stay out of the way, but K grabbed his arm and held him back. Quizzical, and not so little annoyed, he shot a blazing look at the manager. "What?"

K still indicated the carved word on the table. "Take a closer look. Here, use these." He offered him the strange goggles.

Yuki took them very reluctantly and put them to his eyes. When he looked through them he could see a strange shimmer to the word. He instantly withdrew the goggles from his eyes. "What's that?" he asked anxiously.

K took the goggles from him with a triumphant smile. "That word was put there very recently. All those other scratches and carvings are several decades old."

Yuki blinked at him in disbelief. "How can you know that?"

"Infrared vision. These babies see everything."

"Infrared goggles can do that?"

"Mine do."

There was no use asking any more questions; he did not want to know too much about K's illegal techniques. Instead he looked down at _RIVER_ anew. "So you think the kidnappers wrote that?"

"Yes. Police check out the Tone yet?"

"Not that I know of. They didn't think the carving was important."

"Not important! The assholes! Impotent toilet suckers! This isn't just important – it's the key to the whole thing! We are going up to the Tone right away, and we are going to scrutinize every inch of that riverbank until we find something that will lead us to Shuichi! Come on, there is no time to lose!"

He began to pull at Yuki's sleeve, but Yuki wrenched lose. "Wait a minute, mister! How exactly do you plan to do that? We're seven people at most and that river's several miles long! It'll take forever going over the whole thing!"

K patted him on the shoulder, and there was something strangely resemblant to pity in his blue eyes. "Once again you underestimate me, Yuki-san. Do not worry, we will have answers before darkfall."

The novelist did not know if he could believe him, but he had no other choice than to humor the American.


	30. And They Played Games

**And They Played Games**

¤¤¤3 DAYS AND 5 HOURS AFTERWARDS¤¤¤

* * *

"Everyone here?" K asked and studied them eagerly. The novelist felt embarrassed about the manager thinking of their sorry lot as 'everyone'. He still could not get how they were supposed to go over the entire River Tone before night fell – it was impossible, goddammit!

And he hated the fact that his brother followed them around wherever they went just because that dimwit Sakuma had decided to join the search party. He did not do anything – he just clung to Sakuma. And they _played games_.

Hiro was serious about finding Shuichi, but that Fujisaki brat just seemed to hope they would never find him. If Yuki could choose he would kick both him and Tatsuha out of the group.

Sakuma could stay. He actually did something, and his excessive energy (so much like Shu-chan's it hurt to watch him) really gave them an advantage. He could go on for hours and hours without getting tired or losing focus.

But if he started excluding people from the search party there would soon be no search party.

Touma put a reassuring hand on his shoulder as if he knew exactly what the novelist was thinking. Two seconds later the N-G president was rubbing his shoulders.

"Ho ho ho, _whoaaa!_ Tatsuha, stop that!" Excessive giggling. "You're tickling me!"

_Fucking incompetent imbeciles, all of them_, Yuki thought glumly, a headache taking form around his temples.

Tatsuha was feeling his way across the Grasper singer's tummy at the moment, and that did not surprise the novelist at all. Ever since they formed their sorry little search party his younger brother had seized every opportunity to touch Sakuma in every indecent way there was. Now he put his hands on Sakuma's hips and began to pull them closer together. He was probably hoping for a kiss, but he was unlikely to get one from that half-wit.

Sakuma slapped Tatsuha in the middle of the chest and exclaimed: "Tag! Gotcha, hahahaha!" Furthermore he tried to get away from Tatsuha (obviously in the belief that they were playing tag), but Tatsuha managed to snatch the back of his jumper and pulled him back.

Sakuma lost his balance and stumbled to the floor. Since Tatsuha was holding on to the singer's jumper, he fell too. Lying in a heap on the floor, they burst into a violent fit of laughter.

Yuki could not help but smile a little. They looked like they were actually having fun.

But then he noticed that Tatsuha was making a grab for Sakuma's ass...

"Yuki-san, is your brother supposed to molest the poor man?" Fujisaki expelled so suddenly that both Yuki and Seguchi jumped.

Seguchi put his arms around Yuki's neck and leaned his head in over his shoulder to have a better look at the two men on the floor.

Yuki blinked with incomprehension. Then he collected himself. "Er... Tatsuha, get off him. Let the... poor man... be or I'll punch you," he said numbly.

Tatsuha hastily scrambled up to his feet. But when he looked in his brother's direction his eyes narrowed furiously. He pointed an accusing finger at the novelist. "Then _you_ tell _him_ to let go of _you_!" he bellowed demandingly.

The novelist raised an eyebrow quizzically. "Who? Him?" Pointing back at Seguchi.

"Yeah! I don't like when he's all over you like that!"

"He's not 'all over me'," Yuki protested testily, "he's just looking over my shoulder!"

"Looking over your shoulder, is he? I don't think so! He's totally coming on to you, and he's _totally_ trying to get you in the sack! I know, because I've been doing it to Sakuma for three yea—"

He fell silent when he realized what he was confessing. With a frightened glint in his black eyes, he turned to Sakuma to see if the singer had perceived just _what_ he had said.

The Grasper singer was scratching his chin with an absent expression.

Fujisaki made some kind of half-choked grunting sound.

K sprang from nowhere with an entire arsenal of lethal weapons, beaming like a child in a candy store. "Awwright! Let's go out there and kick some kidnapper ass! _Bwahahahaha!_"

Yuki's jaw dropped. "Where the fuck'd you find all that stuff?"

K did the V-sign. "In the basement – where else?"

"The basement?"

"Yeah, I live down there! How did _you_ think I always turned up in the exact right placeat the exact right time all the time? The basement is my headquarters!"

Yuki swallowed. "Yeah, right... er, shall we go, then?"

"Hai! Ikou ka, minna!" (_Yes! Let's go, everyone!_)

Seguchi let go of Yuki and they followed K toward the doors. Yuki noticed Tatsuha glaring murderously at him, but he ignored him.

When they were almost outside, the Grasper suddenly burst into some sort of jubilant singing, and the text was basically "Anata, anata, ore no anata, utsukushii yubi deeeeesu!" (_Honey, honey, my honey, beautiful thefingers aaaaare!_) which made no sense whatsoever. Then he jumped out in front of a shocked Fujisaki and began to bounce around him in circles exclaiming, "Anata! Anata! Anata, anata, anata!"

Fujisaki shied away from him in panic. "W-what the hell are you doing?" he gasped and searched for an escape route.

Sakuma stopped in front of him. Blinked with confusion. "Aren't you an 'anata' (_a 'you'_)?" he wondered in puzzlement.

Fujisaki coldly pushed him away. "Said in an entire sentence 'anata' is a personal pronoun, but when you say it like that it's a nickname for your wife, you idiot! You should purchase a fucking dictionary and study real hard 'cause you don't even know your own language! Now get out of my way!"

Sakuma had tears in his eyes. "Bu-but Mujasuki, I'm just trying to be your friend..."

"Yeah? Well, try being someone else's friend instead. I've had it with you." He turned on his heel and stalked up to the staircases, flung open the door with a loud _Bang!_ and stormed up through the building.

"Great!" Hiro expelled irritably. "Now we've lost one member!"

"We don't need him," Yuki protested, "we'll do better without him, he's just sulking anyway."

"No, we need everyone we can get," K said firmly. His grip on his automatic gun tightened. "Maybe I should go up there and—"

"No," Sakuma interrupted, and for the first time ever he sounded absolutely serious. "I'll get him. I'm sorry about that, I was just trying to cheer him up. It'll only be a minute." And without waiting for replies he started after the keyboardist.


	31. Make Up or Break Up

**Make Up Or Break Up**

He caught up with his kouhai on the fifth floor, but when he tried to stop him Fujisaki flung the door to the corridor open and ran out. Ryuichi followed with a cold determination and grabbed at him as he hurried down the hall. He caught the sleeve of Fujisaki's blazer. "Hey, wait up! I just wanna talk to you!"

"But I don't wanna talk to you! Leggo of me, leave me alone!"

"I'm sorry for acting like that downstairs. Suguru, please..."

"Don't call me that!" Fujisaki hissed and swirled around, his teeth bared and his eyes ablaze with wrath. "Don't you ever come near me again!"

Ryuchi felt a pang of guilt, like a stab in the heart. "I'm sorry."

Fujisaki stared at him in silence for a while. Then he turned his back on him. "Get away from me."

But Ryuichi could not just let him go like that, it was too painful to think that he would never again touch that perfectly tanned skin, or kiss those soft lips, or gaze deeply into those angry dark eyes...

Acting on a whim of desperation (and final determination) he pushed through the restroom door that the boy had just disappeared beyond, intent on forcing an answer out of him.

The boy had just leaned in over the farthest washbasin to splash some water on his face, but he looked up as Ryuchi entered. A glint of understanding passed over the dark surfaces of his eyes, and he straightened up without an objection.

Ryuichi slammed into him and forced him up against the wall, desperately pressing his lips to the boy's. He let his fingers run through his kouhai's short, black hair. At first the boy did not react at all, but after a short while he put his arms around the small of Ryuichi's back and kissed him back. That must mean something, right? That he willingly, voluntarily, put his arms around him? If he did not love him he would simply push him away, right?

He turned his head slightly to the side and placed small, passionate kisses along the boy's jawline.

Fujisaki gasped and pushed his chin up to allow him more access to his neck. "Senpai... someone might come..." he breathed, but he did not sound too worried.

"No one will come," Ryuichi assured him and moved his lips and tongue down his kouhai's neck.

"But Senpai..."

"Call me Ryu."

"I..."

"No, this is the time. Call me Ryu," he insisted.

"I'm mad at you," Fujisaki reminded him, but his anger sounded weak and forced now.

"Punish me, then. Make me pay for being such an ass down there."

Fujisaki gasped again as he felt Ryuichi's hand inside his blazer, trying to find the zipper in his pants. He caught Ryuichi's wrist. With a firm look, he said, "Lock the door first."

Feeling ready to jump high into the air with happiness, Ryuichi hurried over to the door and locked it. _YATTA!_ (_Yippee!_) he thought as he hurried back to Fujisaki. _He doesn't hate me! He wants me!_

Some of his usual bounciness returned, and he felt alive again. Only moments ago he had felt as if the world as he knew it was coming to an end – and he had feared that this was _their_ end – but now everything felt great again! Everything felt _right_ again!

Fujisaki wasted no time fooling about with pleasantries and foreplay; as soon as they were definitely alone, would not be disturbed by anyone, and had gotten naked he threw Ryu down and pushed inside him. He immediately began to rock his hips with insane speed, apparently trying to work the agitation, tension, and anger out of his system.

Ryuichi wanted to go more slow, wanted it to be tender – an act of love – but the boy would not have that. He turned his face away when Ryu tried to kiss him and pinned him down more firmly when he tried to embrace him.

Although a growing pain assaulted Ryuichi's heart, he gritted his teeth and told himself that the rough treatment was courtesy Fujisaki's wrath and nothing else. But no matter what he told himself to deny the obvious truth, Ryuichi still could not enjoy the act. Eventually tears sprung from his eyes and he began to sob quietly. Fujisaki ignored it and grunted low in his throat.

Ryuichi closed his arms around the boy's shoulders. "Please... don't... don't be so rough... please... can't we enjoy this?" he begged, ashamed with himself for sounding so pathetic but unable to stop himself.

To his surprise, the boy actually slowed down and became more gentle in his movements. He looked Ryuichi in the eyes, and the Grasper thought he saw a little tenderness in them. That was all he needed to be happy again, just a small sign that Suguru liked him. He stole a kiss from the boy.

Fujisaki slowly worked up his pace again until he slammed hard and fast against the older man's prostrate, eliciting frequent sounds of pleasure from him. Ryuichi's back scraped against the cold tile floor, but he hardly noticed. He rose to receive the boy's thrusts, lost in a fantasy world that Fujisaki would not enter. "Oh, God..."

Fujisaki bent down and put his forehead to Ryuichi's. He breathed quickly and shallowly. Ryuichi could tell that he was close – no, they were both close, they would both reach climax any second now. "_Senpai_!" the boy expelled as he rose on the strongest wave of pleasure of them all.

Ryuichi clasped his hands around his kouhai's shoulders. "Call me Ryu," he reminded him softly.

Fujisaki squealed and threw his head back. He was there. "Ryu! _Ryu_, oh God, Ryu, _yes_!"

Ryuichi answered with the same intensity, crying the boy's name as their bodies shuddered in synchrony. Seconds later, when Fujisaki fell down exhausted on top of him, he put his arms around the boy and held him tight. Kissed the top of his head. "I love you, Suguru," he whispered with honesty.

The boy stiffened. He instantly pulled away. "Don't say that," he warned.

Ryuichi watched him with incomprehension as he swiftly began to pull his clothes back on. "Why not? It's the truth. I love you. I want to be with you."

"Don't," Fujisaki snarled.

Ryuichi sat up on the cold floor. "We need to talk about this. About us. Shuichi's disappearance has made me realize how quickly life can change – and how quickly everything you love can be taken away from you. I don't want that to happen to us, Suguru. This kidnapping business has made me realize that I want to be with you, that I want to see you openly – I want everybody to know I love you. I want us to be a real couple, not just lovers that sneak around in the shadows when no one else sees. I want you to be my boyfriend, Suguru."

Fujisaki put on the last garment of clothing and stared down at him with cold, fiery eyes. "But I don't want to see _you_, Sakuma-san," he objected. "I was perfectly happy with this until you started to demand things from me. This was perfect until you started to read feelings into it. I don't have any feelings for you, Sakuma-san. I can't deal with this anymore – this was the last time, OK? No more fucking around. I'm through with it."

Ryuichi could not believe what he was hearing. "Through? Why? I don't understand, all these months..."

"It was just sex, Sakuma-san. Nothing else. Sorry if I gave you the wrong impression."

He went up to the door and unlocked it, then he turned back to Ryuichi. "Well, aren't you coming? They're waiting for us, aren't they?"

Ryuichi hastily put his clothes back on. He was crying again. He could not help it. Could not stop it. Fujisaki pretended not to see his tears.

When they left the restroom and walked down the empty corridor, Ryuichi said, "Does it have to be over, Suguru? I don't want it to be over, I don't wanna lose you... I _can't_ lose you, Suguru. Not you too. I've already lost one of my best friends, please don't make me lose you too."

"Starting now, we don't speak to each other unless it is absolutely necessary, alright?" Fujisaki said, ignoring his plea completely. "We are not friends – we are simply business colleagues. You can continue to play with Uesugi-san if you feel lonely."

Ryuichi jerked. "That was cold. Even for you."

"I'm a cold person. Learn to deal with it."


	32. Embarking

**Embarking**

"You've been gone for fifteen minutes, goddammit!" Yuki bellowed furiously when they finally returned to the lobby. "What the fuck were you doing up there? You—"

He fell silent when he saw that Sakuma was crying uncontrollably, his eyes red and puffy. He looked as if he'd been crying for quite some time. "Oh," he said. Maybe that's why it had taken them so long. "Are you alright there, Sakuma-san?"

He shook his head.

Touma went to him and put a reassuring arm around his shoulders. "Come with me, it'll be all right, Ryuichi-san. Where's Kumagoro? Did you leave him upstairs?" He gazed back at the elevators.

Once again, Sakuma shook his head. "No, I don't need him anymore."

That statement clearly shook Seguchi, for his eyes widened with surprise and fear. He turned to Yuki for support, but the novelist did not know what to do about it and kept quiet. "We don't have time for this," he said instead. "Do you think you can go on, Sakuma-san? Or do you wish to stay here until we return?"

Sakuma sniveled. "I want to go home. I want to be alone right now. Tatsuha, do you think you could give me a ride on your motorcycle?"

Tatsuha started. But then he beamed like a child. "Yeah! Of course! I'll take you home right away, Ryu-chan. I already know the way, so it won't take long..." He shot forward and took the singer's arm and began to lead him out of the building.

A muscle twitched in the right corner of Fujisaki's mouth. "He already knows..."

Hiro hit him on the head. "What's up with you all of a sudden? Hurry up if you don't want to be left behind!"

Fujisaki came with them, but he kept shooting angry glares back at the men on the motorcycle.

When Yuki and Seguchi were sitting in Yuki's car heading out of town, Touma cleared his throat and said, "Wanna know something funny?"

"Depends," Yuki replied with clenched teeth. The closer they got to the river, the more tense he got.

Touma's lips formed a gleeful smile. "Ryuichi's fucking my cousin."

Yuki almost stood on the brakes. "What?"

"Yeah, that's what I thought when I saw them in my office last night... They don't know I was there, though. I think it's best if it was kept quiet."

"Yeah, probably. But why the tears if _that's_ what they were doing up there?"

"I'm guessing Suguru broke up with him. That's why he's so torn apart right now. But did you see how Suguru looked at him when he left with Tatsuha?" He chuckled darkly. "It's only a matter of time before we see them making out everywhere they can. Don't you think Shindou-san would like that?"

A tiny smile curled the novelist's lips. "Yeah, he would love that."


	33. A Shoe on the Shore

**A Shoe on the Shore**

¤¤¤3 DAYS AND 11 HOURS AFTERWARDS¤¤¤

* * *

"Here! I've found something!"

The cry echoed over the riverbank and carried to their different positions with ease.

Somehow they had indeed pored over almost the entire river and its immediate surroundings, which had stunned Yuki.

When he heard Hiro's cry he rushed down the bank and down to the water, where the guitarist was holding something up for the others to see.

It was Shuichi's left shoe. Yuki was sure of it.

Whimpering, he fell to his knees on the cool shore. All his strength poured out of him in an instant. He had been there. _Shu..._

"I'm calling the police," K declared and pulled out a huge cell phone from the inner pocket of his long, black coat.

Yuki took the shoe and hugged it close to his heart.

Then he noticed the blood stains.


	34. Shi

**Shi**

¤¤¤4 DAYS AND 1 HOUR AFTERWARDS¤¤¤

* * *

He had gotten no sleep at all that night – he had paced the apartment waiting for the police to call him about the new evidence. He could not get the image of that blood out of his mind. What if it was Shuichi's blood? And if it was, what did that mean?

He was a writer – he knew what it meant, but he did not _want_ to know. Therefore he pushed it out of his mind, thinking that it must be one of the kidnappers' blood. Not very likely, though. Most probably it was Shuichi's alright.

But there had been so much of it...

At 10.43 the phone finally rang, its shrill ringing sounding ominously hollow in his ears.

Yuki snatched up the receiver. "Hello!"

Touma jumped up from the sofa and came to his side, anxiously awaiting the news – good or bad.

After only three seconds the novelist threw the reciever back down on the cradle. "Just some damned phone salesman," he muttered, and bit on his fingernails.

Touma put a reassuring hand on his arm. "Shikkari shite. (_Take it easy_.) They will call any minute now. Any minute."

At 10.56 the doorbell rang.

Three detectives with solemn looks reluctantly stepped into the apartment, and Yuki did not like the look of them at all. And when they said he'd better sit down he already knew what they would tell him, but he did not want to hear it.

Despite himself, hot tears began to stream down his cheeks. "No," he said violently. "No, he can't be."

Detective Hamabe, the same police officer who had ackompanied him to that old warehouse at the edge of town, squirmed uncomfortably at his fierce despair. "Yuki-san, I am sorry to inform you that the blood that was found on the scene belonged to your boyfriend," he said gravely.

"In addition to the shoe we found several other items that clearly have Shindou-san's DNA on them, and we... we found his T-shirt on some rocks in... in the water... About half a mile further down the river. I am awfully sorry, Yuki-san, but it is most likely that the kidnappers decided that they didn't need him anymore and killed him. The evidence says they dumped him in the river, and his body has probably gone way down with the stream. It might take weeks or months to find it. We might never find it. Tone is a big river."

Yuki crumpled. Everything broke and everything fell apart and nothing mattered anymore.

"No... no, no, no, it can't be true, he can't be dead... It's not fair! _It's not fair..!_"

Seguchi held him when the world grew dark, but he could not feel it. All he could feel was the pain of his immense loss.

And he died with Shuichi that day.

* * *

**A/N:** "Shi" means "death", by the way...


	35. Desperate Plea

**Desperate Plea**

¤¤¤5 DAYS AND 2 HOURS AFTERWARDS¤¤¤

* * *

Touma told him he had not slept, that he had just sat there in the same spot for more than 24 hours and refused to move or eat or drink. He could tell that the president was really concerned about him, but he could not bring himself to humor him by doing all, or any, of those things.

He just sat there with Shuichi's left shoe in his lap, now and then stroking it slowly as if he was patting a beloved, but dying pet. The police had brought his stuff back, everything that they had yet found at the site. They were all he had left of him. A shoe, a torn T-shirt, part of the gag that the kidnappers had forced on him, and the ring.

They had found the engagement ring. Those fucking bastards had taken the ring off his finger before throwing him in the river and left it on the shore to make sure that somebody found it.

There was no doubt about it now. He was dead. Some small part of Yuki had hoped that it was not his ring, that it was someone else's and that it just _looked_ like Shu-chan's, but it was his ring alright. It was engraved.

'EIRI + SHUICHI 4EVER' and the date of their engagement. Their _wedding_.

Slowly, he grew aware that Touma was talking to someone in a low tone of voice. His eyes narrowing, he turned to see if his brother-in-law had let someone in without his permission.

But the room was deserted, except for him. The sounds of his brother-in-law seemed to come from the kitchen, and it was obvious that he was trying to prevent Yuki from eavesdropping.

"No, not at all," the shacho (_president of a company_) was saying. "I don't know what to do, Mika-san..."

The bastard was talking to _his sister!_ The last person in the world Yuki wanted to know about his state of total devastation!

"He's not eating, he's not drinking, he's not sleeping, he hasn't been to the bathroom – I'm worried about him," the blond asshole continued with a note of anxiety in his fruity voice. "He doesn't speak to me, and I don't know what to do."

Wrath suddenly got the better of Yuki. He sprang up from the sofa, but he did not leave the room. "Do you think I _can't hear you?_" he yelled in a white fury so intense that he almost fainted from it.

"He's talking to me! Gotta go, Mika-san, sorry to bother you... bye!" The shacho was in the kitchen doorway only a second later, and he looked disgustingly hopeful. "Eiri! You're up, you're..."

"_Get the hell out of here!_" Yuki bellowed and demonstratively pointed toward the front door.

Touma blinked at him for a few seconds, confounded and bewildered. "What?"

"Get out! I wanna be alone. Go to hell and don't come back, comprende?"

"But Eiri, I—"

"_I don't fucking care!_ This is _my_ time of grief, all right? This is _my_ fucking life they've fucked up, not yours! This is _my_ mourning, ani (_big brother_). Don't you get that? I have to mourn him alone. Now get the hell out and leave me alone." He rubbed at his throbbing temples.

Touma did not move. "Eiri, you need someone here to look after you right now," he said insistently. "I can understand your pain – I'm distraught, too. I loved that kid like a son, and I miss him like hell, but I know that doesn't even come close to what you're feeling. I can understand your need to be alone with your pain in order to sort it out, but you really shouldn't be left alone right now. I mean, look at you! You're not even _eating_, Eiri! You'll die if I leave you alone!"

"So let me die, then!" Yuki shouted back at him. "Let me die! I have nothing left to live for anyway!"

The brother-in-law's eyes watered and his face became twisted with pain and desperation. "Please don't say that, Eiri, please don't say that. There are loads of people who love you and need you – you can't give up on them like this. I... I love you, Eiri, and I don't want to lose you. I don't want you to die..."

The rest of the sentence got caught in his throat as a loud sob escaped him. Tears streamed down his pale face.

Yuki's intestines became a hard, cold lump. He, too, was going to cry if that fucker did not stop soon.

Sighing deeply, he said, "Don't worry so much about me, Touma, I'm not worth it. I'll be fine. I just need to figure this out on my own, you know? I won't die, silly... That was just something I said. Suman. (_S'rry_.) Now, please, go. I _need_ to be alone now."

The shacho would not stop crying. He tried to blot his face with the sleeve of his business jacket, but he was not very discreet about it. "But I have no place to go, Eiri," he objected.

This statement surprised Yuki. "No place to go? Try your wife, moron," he said incredulously.

Touma shook his head. "She's not my wife anymore, Eiri, we just got divorced. I gave her the house for her baby's sake."

"Her baby's sake? It's your baby, too, ani."

More shaking. "No." A sad smile. "I'm not the father. I said it took me almost three years to give her a new baby, didn't I? After she had that miscarriage? She was waiting for my permission, Eiri. Since we were still married she didn't want to go ahead and do something like that without my permission." He laughed darkly, bitterly. "Don't you find that ironic? We were only married for looks, and she actually asked my permission to have a baby with her lover. I bet she's finally enjoying a full life with Kohashi Ryota."

Yuki did not know what to say to that. Seguchi honestly could not claim to be sorry about the divorce, because he had never wanted to be somebody's husband anyway. Especially not Uesugi Mika's. He must be awfully relieved that it was finally over, after almost ten years.

He scratched the back of his head awkwardly. "Ani, I..."

"Don't call me that. I'm not your brother-in-law anymore. I'm your..." A short pause. "I'm your friend."

"Okay... Listen, I'm sorry about this, but I still need to be alone. Touma, if you love me, you will leave and let me deal with this in peace and quiet. Please."

It was his wish to be alone, yes, but he nevertheless felt _lonely_ when the N-G president left.


	36. Heard it on the News

**Heard it on the News**

¤¤¤5 DAYS AND 5 HOURS AFTERWARDS¤¤¤

* * *

Someone banged like crazy on the door, and Ryuichi almost thought someone was trying to break in, but when he saw Touma's huge, distorted face through the fish eye in the door he happily slammed it open. "Toumaaa!" he exclaimed and launched himself at the visitor. "Come in, come in! What a pleasant surprise na no da!" He laughed merrily.

Touma crossed the threshold and almost looked shy as he nervously surveyed their surroundings. "I'm sorry to barge in on you like this, but I was wondering if I could stay here for a while? Because of the unfortunate circumstances, Eiri has asked me to leave him alone for some time," he explained as he was led into the roomy living room.

"Ah, still haven't found anything, have they?" Ryuichi stated knowingly and nodded to himself.

Touma fidgeted. "Uh, well..."

"Want some herbal tea? I was just making some for myself. Have a seat, make yourself comfortable, and I will be back in a sec."

He brought them tea and tiny biscuits on a tray and carefully placed it on the small coffee table. The TV was on; he had been watching one of his favorite game shows. Now the news were on, but neither of them paid much attention to it.

"Here you go," Ryuichi said as he placed one of the small cups in front of his friend. "So, how are you holding up, Touma?"

The president took a long sip at his tea. "This is delicious," he said. Then he set the cup back down on its small plate. He looked mighty uncomfortable. "Um, Ryuichi-san... I see that you have adopted a more serious air...?"

The Grasper singer raised an eyebrow quizzically. "Who? Me? Oh, but I've always been serious, I just haven't been comfortable with showing that side of myself to that many people, is all," he confided. "I've been serious with you before, haven't I? Briefly, I admit, but still... Why?"

Seguchi shrugged. "I just meant to say... I know how you feel, Ryuichi-san. Trying to reach out to him but never getting the response you desire." His eyes became dreamy and distant. "Being shut out when all you want is to be close to him, love him, know everything there is to know about him."

Ryuichi knitted his eyebrows suspiciously. "Okaaay... But Touma, I'm afraid I don't know what you're talking about. Or _who_ you're talking about, for that matter."

Touma boldly met his eyes. "I'm talking about my cousin."

Ryuichi flinched as if the president had hit him in the face with something cold and blunt. "How... how did you...?" he breathed with bafflement.

The blond shacho smiled warmly. "I'm the president, remember. I know everything that goes on within my company," he joked, but it did not sound all that jocular. Maybe he was too exhausted to muster even the slightest bit of humor. "I understand he's the reason you're unhappy."

"Oh." Ryuichi did not know what else to say. He felt extremely awkward with Touma knowing exactly what was going on. He thought they had managed to keep it quiet, that they're 'relationship' had gone unnoticed to people around them. But maybe his plan to make Suguru jealous had backfired and exposed their secret instead of naturally turning it into an open relationship.

God knew he had only pushed the boy away instead of bringing them closer together.

"But you didn't sound as if you were speaking about me, Touma. You sounded as if you were speaking about yourself. There anything you wanna talk to me about, Touma?" A lame attempt to guide the conversation away from him and make Touma forget all about the singer's supposed relationship with Fujisaki.

A faint smile temporarily brightened the mellow man's features. "I was, wasn't I?" He laughed briefly. "I guess I was speaking about Eiri-kun. He's getting more and more difficult to reach..."

The news reporter's voice suddenly broke through to both of them.

"... vocalist who had been missing for four days has now been pronounced dead. Evidence was found that Shindou Shuichi, age 21, was killed by his kidnappers somewhere between Tuesday and Thursday, and his body was later dumped in the Tone three hours outside of Tokyo. The body has not yet been found, but the police assures that their resources will ensure them a finding within the next few weeks. The police are still looking for the people responsible for the abduction on Shindou-san, and the charges have now been changed from kidnapping to first degree murder. The young singer's family and band member's mourn his death, and Shindou-san's partner, the novelist Yuki Eiri, lets us know that the funeral will be held next Monday."

Ryuichi stared at the TV screen with disbelief. As the news reporter's words started to sink in, his hands began to shake so badly he dropped the china tea kettle on the floor. It smashed. "What...?" he whispered, still staring at the screen although they had now moved over to sports. "Touma, is this true?" he asked weakly. "Is he... dead?"

The president was silent for a very long time before answering. "Yes."

A strange squealing half-meowl escaped Ryuichi, and he hastily covered his mouth with his right hand in an attempt to control the violent sobs that shook him. He rocked back and forth, bent forward, squealing with every sob. Fat tears fell from his eyes and onto his lap.

Touma instantly put his arms around his arched back. "Oh my God, Ryuichi... I didn't know you'd take it this hard, I..."

"Why didn't you tell me, Touma?" Ryuichi peeped accusatory. "Why... why didn't you... tell me? You knew... you knew he was dead... _and you didn't tell me?_"

"I am so sorry, Ryuichi-san. I meant to tell you, I tried to tell you, but I just couldn't... I couldn't bear being the one to tell you. I am so sorry."

"And so you let me... hear it _on the news_? Fuck you, Touma. You should've told me. Hell, you've known _for more than a day_. Oh, my God, Shuichi I am so sorry... I didn't know..."

His heart broke at the thought of Shuichi being dead for more than a day – possibly even two or three days – without him even acknowledging it – without him even _knowing_ about it! He had been dead for so many hours, and Ryuichi had not even paid his respects... He was supposed to be one of Shuichi's best friends. His _senpai_.

Brokenhearted and in excruciating pain, he embraced Touma and cried. He cried for many hours. And when the tears finally subsided he could only think of one thing.

"Does Suguru know?" he asked the president.

Touma shook his head slowly. "No. Not unless he's heard it on the news, too."

Ryuichi rose from the couch. "I have to tell him," he announced and searched for his mobile phone. He found it and punched the speed dial.

"_Hello?_" that beloved voice said a short while later.

"Suguru, it's me. Please don't hang up on me, I have to tell you something. I..." He had to stop for a moment not to cry wretchedly again. Just the thought of saying it aloud – _Shuichi's dead_ – made the pain worse and more acute again. As if it would not be true if none of them spoke it aloud.

As if he would miraculously come back if none of them ever mentionen the word "dead" in the same sentence as his name.

The other end of the line was unnaturally quiet. Then: "_Sakuma-san, are you crying?_"

"No," Ryuichi hurried to say. It was just a reflex. "I mean, yeah, I am. I'm... Touma's here with me, and he's just told me... I mean, I saw it on the news first, but then he told me and..." He began to sob violently again. Touma reached out for him, but he brushed the shacho away.

"_Sakuma-san... er, what are you talking about?_ _I'm sorry, but I don't understand_..."

Had Suguru been there then, Ryuichi probably would have kissed him. It touched him that the boy was willing to cast his angry attitude aside out of respect for him when he was upset. He sounded genuinely concerned and almost tender.

Ryuichi had wanted to hear him speak like that to him for so long that he almost began to cry because of _that_ instead. But then he remembered that Shuichi was dead, and his heart clogged up with emotion again.

"Suguru... he's dead," he said in despair. "Shuichi's _dead_."

It was silent for so long he wondered if he'd gone deaf.

"_Are you sure?_" The boy sounded weak – shocked. "_I mean, are they sure_...?"

"Yes. Obviously they found some sort of evidence he'd been dumped in the river..."

"_I was afraid of that when Hiro found the shoe,_" Fujisaki confessed, "_but I never thought... I hoped_..."

"Oh, Suguru, I am so sorry. You were so close to him, playing together and everything..."

"_But you were closer, weren't you?_ _All your stupid competitions aside, you were great friends_." He hesitated for a while. Then: "_Thank you for telling me_."

Ryuichi was incredulous. " 'Thank you for telling me'? That's all?"

"_What do you want me to say? 'Come over and I'll comfort you'? It's over,_ _Sakuma-san. I've already_ _told you that a dozen times. Listen, I gotta go. Akiko's making dinner_…"

He hung up.

Ryuichi could not believe it. He sank down onto the arm of the couch. Stared out into thin air.

"Ryuichi-san? What's wrong?"

"He's with his girlfriend," the singer said numbly. "I don't know, but I kind of hoped that he..." He fell silent again. It was too painful to talk about. Too painful even to think about. With a resigned sigh, he said, "At least I have the comfort of knowing that you'll have a chance on your dream man now."

Touma moaned and rubbed his temples. "Don't say that," he asked. "I do not want to turn Shuichi's unfortunate death around to my advantage."

"But you _can_ do it if you want to," Ryuichi pointed out darkly. "You can have your Yuki Eiri, but I have no one. Everyone I care about have left me."


	37. Idol Vocalist

**Idol Vocalist**

¤¤¤4 MONTHS AFTERWARDS¤¤¤

* * *

Slowly, things seemed to be turning back to normal. If anything could ever _be_ normal again, but at least as close to it as things could get.

Little more than four months after Shuichi's death, business was in the running at N-G Productions again. It was decided that Ryuichi would take over Shuichi's position as vocalist in Bad Luck and that Nittle Grasper would finally be put to rest.

At first Fujisaki opposed himself to the idea, but eventually he gave in. He liked playing his keyboards way too much to give it up simply to stay away from Sakuma.

Touma wore a calm smile the day he opened the final meeting in the conference room. "There will be a press conference on Wednesday," he told them as they had all settled down.

"What? In just four days?" Hiro exclaimed, beside himself.

"Yes," Touma confirmed. "People are still waiting eagerly for an answer to the big question: Will Bad Luck die with Shindou Shuichi? And excuse my bad choice of words, but that's what they're talking about out there. If you want to continue making music you need to tell them that's your intention or they will forget about you."

Ryuichi leaned forward over the table and sighed with exhaustion. "It feels odd to do this," he murmured, "but Shuichi's mom said he would have wanted me to do this."

The smile on Touma's lips widened with a sort of sad love. "Yes, I bet Shuichi would love for you to sing for Bad Luck. You were his idol, after all."

Ryuichi smiled. "Yeah."


	38. Moving On

**Moving On**

"The meeting went well, didn't it?" Ryuichi said jubilantly when they came down to the lobby, all of them ready to go home and get some rest after a hard day's work.

Fujisaki and Hiro were rubbing their eyes, K was stretching his legs, Sakano looked totally pooped with his glasses askew and his hair on end, and Touma himself was stiff-limbed but Ryuichi seemed to be back to his merry, vibrant self.

It made Touma smile. A pleasant warmth flowed through his heart as he watched his friend take a few happy leaps and hug air. He had been so down ever since Shuichi died, Touma had been afraid that he would never recover. But now things were finally looking up again.

"Yes, the meeting was fine," he agreed generously.

Ryuichi surprised him by giving him a tight bear-hug. "Thank you for doing this, Touma," he murmured against the shacho's neck. "I love you for doing such a beautiful thing for Shuichi and his family. I just hope you can do something equally beautiful for Eiri-san." And a moment later he had let go of Touma and leapt towards the waiting area where Tatsuha was waiting for him.

Touma watched him, somewhat paralysed by shock. Once again Ryuichi had let his true, more serious self shine through for him for a brief moment. He guessed that meant that Ryu cared about him.

"Tatsuha!" the singer exclaimed happily, and laughed boyishly as he launched himself on his "playmate".

Tatsuha caught him with elegancy. "There you are, you little ragamuffin!" he said.

Ryuichi had begun to hang out with Uesugi-san again approximately a month after finding out the horrible news, and at first he had been rather mellow. But about a month ago he had brightened up a bit and slowly recovered from his broken heart. Spending time with Tatsuha, doing crazy things, seemed to do him good.

"Will you hang on a second?" Fujisaki asked Hiro when the guitarist was just about to leave, and took out his cell phone. "I just need to make a call first. I can't do it out there with all that traffic..."

Touma needed to place a call of his own. But he never got the phone up to his ear; something distracted him too much for him to remember what he had been about to do.

He could not tell when the atmosphere changed; it just did. Suddenly there was not anything friendly about Ryuichi's way of hugging Tatsuha, and shortly thereafter the singer raised himself slightly onto his toes and gently pressed his lips to Tatsuha's.

Touma dropped the phone. It hit the floor with a _clink_.

Tatsuha seemed as surprised as the shacho. He looked at Ryuichi with a quizzical look in his almost-black eyes, had most likely not expected that to happen.

Ryuichi just smiled and laughed at him. "Don't look so shocked, Tatsuha-kun!" he admonished in a friendly, warm way. "Isn't that what you've been waiting for all these years?"

"Um, yeeeaaahh... but I didn't think you..."

"Well, I do," the singer said and kissed him again. This time Tatsuha was prepared and eagerly opened his mouth to welcome him.

A red-faced Fujisaki swept past Touma as if his hiney was on fire and muttered something that sounded very much like "_Fucking traitor, making out with that molestor!_" Touma watched in amazement as Hiro rushed after him.

The kissing two were still tightly enwrapped in each other.

Either Ryuichi was completely over his cousin and had truly fallen for the charming Uesugi Tatsuha, or he was taking his ploy yet another step further in a last desperate attempt to make _Fujisaki_ fall for _him_.

Either way, Touma would be happy as long as Ryuichi was happy.


	39. The Secret Novel

**The Secret Novel**

Eiri had let him back inside the apartment two months ago, and Touma had been sincerely glad that he did not need to bunk up with Ryuichi anymore; that guy could get too intense for anyone, and Touma liked it nice and quiet.

He felt perfectly happy sleeping on the sofa and was always willing to help Eiri with the most trivial chores. Most often he cooked all the meals and did all the cleaning, but he never complained. As long as he helped Eiri-san, he was happy.

The bond that they had developed during those three days they searched frantically for Shuichi had weakened, and Eiri hardly ever let him in on his feelings anymore.

Sometimes they talked about things, but never about anything important. The novelist had gone back to his former, crude self – the person he had been before meeting Shuichi. He was cold, mean, and downright obnoxious.

But Touma loved him. He loved him more each day that passed. Yet he never asked anything of Eiri, never pressured him in any way. He gave him the space that he so needed and simply made sure to always be there when the novelist really needed him.

He missed being called 'ani', but like he had said, he was not his brother-in-law anymore; there was no need for them to act like brothers.

When he returned home that afternoon it was to find a mayhem in Eiri's study.

The novelist was throwing things around himself, screaming wordlessly in pain and despair, papers flying everywhere. Touma rushed to his side and worriedly asked him what was wrong.

Of course, he already knew what was wrong; what _had_ been wrong for the past 4+ months...

When he had finally succeeded in calming himself down, Eiri pointed at the waste basket beneath his desk. "Would you take the trash out for me, please?" he asked, still breathing heavily, but remarkably calmer now.

Touma nodded swiftly. "Yeah. Sure. Give it to me."

On his way out, he glanced down at the papers in the waste basket. It looked like the pages of a novel. Frowning, he picked one up and skimmed the first paragraph.

_He knew that look. The look that said something big was coming, something he might_

_not be able to handle, yet he swallowed the bitter pill and said: "What do you want?"_

_The answer came in a hot wave of love and tenderness he almost could not handle._

_For the boy smiled and said: "I want to be with you."_

Touma stared at the paper. It sure sounded like a novel – or at least a story of _some_ sort. He hesitated. Did Eiri really wish him to throw this away?

Ignoring the novelists request he snatched the entire sheaf of papers out of the waste basket and stowed it away at the bottom of the laundry basket in the bathroom. It was a temporary solution; as soon as he got the chance he would hide the script in his office at N-G.

He had a feeling that it was important somehow.

Over the following month, Touma took it out as often as possible to read another short passage or two. The more he read the more convinced he became that this was a story about Eiri himself. It was a fucking hymn to Shuichi! The entire novel was a huge _I love you_ to the vocalist, and suddenly Touma understood perfectly why Eiri had asked him to throw it away.

He did not want to be reminded of it anymore.

Touma had seen the novelist's latest work and it was all violence, death, gore, rape, murder, and drug abuse. It was as dark as dark could get; _dark_ was not even an adequate word.

Therefore it saddened Touma to read about the life that had once made his Eiri so happy.


	40. What Touma Had Been Waiting For

**What Touma Had Been Waiting For**

¤¤¤8 MONTHS AFTERWARDS¤¤¤

* * *

They had spent the entire day together, the first time for very long. The shacho was immensely and indescribably happy just to watch TV or play Go together with Eiri-kun; it was all he needed to feel like the luckiest guy alive. The novelist even encouraged him to solve some Sudoku together with him. It was much harder than it looked; whenever you thought you had gotten the numbers correct you discovered that you had missed something and you were back on square one again.

But Eiri was so smart. He always figured them out sooner or later.

And the best thing was that he laughed. He _laughed_! It was the first time since the police had brought them the bad news almost eight months ago. He was finally laughing again – he was finally allowing himself to enjoy himself. Not as fully as before, of course, but still! He was _laughing_.

Touma cried out in surprise when he managed to solve one of the Sudoku puzzles. "Look! I got it!" he exclaimed and proudly showed it to Eiri.

The novelist studied it with knitted brows. "Well look at that... you actually have a few brains in that gross head of yours," he said indifferently.

Touma was beaming. "Yeah, I guess I do," he agreed, feeling generous enough to let the novelist scorn him for a while.

Eiri looked at him for a long while with his beautiful, light eyes. He had an indefinable glint in his eyes that fascinated the shacho.

"Thanks for being here, Touma," he said sincerely.

Touma's heart skipped a beat out of pure happiness. "You don't need to thank me," he assured him. "I like taking care of you."

Before he knew it, the novelist had leaned in and kissed him.

When he withdrew, Touma stared at him in shock. "What are you doing?"

Eiri grinned gleefully. "I'm kissing you, what the fuck does it look like I'm doing?" he wondered scornfully.

"But, why...?"

"I don't know. Maybe I'm fallin' for ya." He leaned in closer with the intention of stealing another kiss, but Touma pushed him away.

"Eiri, don't do anything you'll regret later," he warned gravely.

The novelist looked insulted. "What the fuck's this? I thought you'd be happy I was finally giving you some, but instead you're all rejecting. What the fuck's wrong with you, Seguchi?"

Touma sighed. "It's only been eight months, Eiri. It's great that you're finally feeling a bit better, but you're no way near over him," he said with honesty and forthrightness. "Yes, I want you, yes I want you to kiss me, but you're not falling for me. You're not."

"How would you know?"

"I see it in your eyes. You still love him. You'll always love him. Don't humor me just because I'm a sorry old bachelor you feel bad for. Take your time and deal with your grief first. Then we can talk about this."

Eiri grabbed his wrist as he rose to leave. "But maybe I'm having feelings for you," he protested. "Maybe it's time for me to be with you now. Shouldn't I move on? Maybe I'm feeling something that I can't explain or even understand. Do you think I should just ignore that?"

Touma laughed bitterly. "You're not feeling _anything_ for me, Eiri-kun – you've just had one too many cups of sake. And drinking makes you feel lonely and sorry for yourself, which in turn makes you want to forget about all your problems. It's a classic, but I'm not letting you give in to it. Go to bed instead. No, no, no! _Alone!_ Go to bed _alone_! Let go of my hand!"

He wrenched free and backed away.

Eiri cursed and turned on the radio in pure spite. Glared murderously at him from the corner of his eye.

Touma sighed and went out to the kitchen to fix some tea.


	41. A Familiar Voice on the Radio

**A Familiar Voice on the Radio**

The fruity fucker was right. He _was_ just trying to forget that fucking pain, and the only two ways he knew of drowning sorrows was with sex and booze. If he could not have the first, then he would at least have a lot of the other.

He turned up the radio in hopes of annoying Seguchi further.

At first he did not listen, but eventually the rock music and the smooth voice of the vocalist broke through his drunken walls. He reached out his hand to turn the shit off—

He froze.

That voice.

"_I had your heart in my hand, I wandered deserts of sand, I flew the blue skies above, but I couldn't have your love—_"

Leaning in closer to the radio, he squinted as if that would make him hear better. He recognized that voice right away, but he could not believe he was actually hearing it.

_It was Shu's voice._

He was sure of it. Positive. He would recognize that lovely voice anytime, anywhere. _But..._

"Touma!" he called to the president. "Did Shu ever record a song in English?"

"Huh? No. He never sang in English, only Japanese. He was lousy at English. You should know that," came his answer.

"Then it can't be him," Yuki said quietly to himself, once again ready to turn the thing off. But something stopped him.

Thoughtfully, he listened to the rest of the song. It was hopelessly predictable, stupidly sad, naïvely romantic, and excruciatingly trite – and that combination made sweat break out on the small of Yuki's back. All those things that he had always said Shuichi's songs were.

All those times the brat had insisted on him reviewing his lyrics...

When the song ended Yuki wanted to grab the radio and force it to play it again, but realized in the last second that it was only an inanimate machine, not a person.

"_And that, ladies and gentlemen, was the new single from Jamie Smith, America's brightest new star. 'Sorrow in Snow' is the name, and it's sold a million copies after only one week on the charts! This young man will surely—_"

"A week?" Yuki yelled in disbelief.

Seguchi peered out of the kitchen. "Did you want something, Eiri-kun?" he wondered gently.

"No," Yuki said, but when Seguchi shrugged and made to return to the stove he changed his mind. "No, wait! Yes, I want something! I want you to buy Jamie Smith's new single for me!" he demanded in desperation.

The shacho frowned. "Who?"

"Stop questioning me all the time, git! Just get the hell out there and buy it! Jamie Smith, 'Sorrow in Snow' – buy, buy! _Now_!"

That sure set fire to him. He hurried out into the hall. "Alright. Be back in five."

While Seguchi was gone, Yuki called Nakano, Fujisaki, K, Sakano, Sakuma, and Tatsuha and asked them to come over ASAP. He had a feeling of urgency in the pit of his stomach, and he felt as if something of great importance was about to happen.

They got there before Seguchi returned with the single. He was so stressed he did not notice the visitors at first. "It was sold out everywhere, I had to look through ten different stores..." He stopped dead just inside the archway. Blinked a couple of times. "What are they all doing here?" he wondered sheepishly.

"They're here to give me their professional opinion," Yuki told him and snatched the single from his hand. He put it in the CD player. "Listen to this."

They listened to the first minute of the song in silence.

"What's so special about this?" Tatsuha asked and yawned with boredom. "Kakyoku dake desu." (_It's only a song._)

Yuki firmly shook his head. "Iie, this isn't just any song," he protested and waved the CD case in front of them, "Shu-chan no shinkyoku desu (_this is_ _Shu-chan's new song_)."

They looked stunned for about three seconds and then they just looked pitying.

"Eiri..." Touma began, but the novelist cut him off.

"Wait." He switched CDs. "Now listen to this." He put on _Glaring Dream_.

Now their appearances sure began to change.

He switched back to the Jamie Smith song.

Then he put on _The Rage Beat_.

Ryuichi sprang forward. "It's him!" he shrieked. "It really _is_ him!" He met Yuki's gaze with hope in his dark eyes. "When was this recorded?" he demanded.

Yuki read from the back of the plastic case. " 'Recorded at Rage Studios February 2006'."

Ryuichi cried out with happiness. "That was only two months ago! He's alive! _He's alive_!" The singer began to dance around the room, laughing loudly.

The others remained sceptical. Obviously they did not trust the judgment of a drunk, mourning novelist and a crazy singer.

But Yuki had more arguments. He indicated the back of the CD case. "Look at this," he said and pointed at the photo. It was not a full-face photo, only a mouth with full lips that were slightly parted to look quizzical. "This is Shuichi's mouth," he said with conviction. "I'd recognize those lips anywhere. And if you compare it to this picture of Shu..." He put the CD case next to a photo of a puzzled Shuichi.

It was the exact same expression.

"I still don't know..." Fujisaki said very hesitantly. "I mean, all that evidence..."

"They could have staged his death," Hiro objected. "If they wanted to exploit him they could have faked anything, right? To spirit him away."

"I guess," Fujisaki admitted, "but it's still a very thin theory."

"No it isn't," Yuki objected. "The pictures prove that it's my Shu on that CD cover, and how could they have taken a picture of him if he wasn't still alive? And how do you explain that it's _his_ voice singing a song that was recorded less than two months ago and was released only last week? Besides, look at his logotype."

In the lower right corner was a small symbol that represented the artist, and it was clearly inspired by the Japanese sign for 'snow' – 'yuki'.

"This is his cry for help," Yuki said. "He's telling me to come save him."

"Maybe so," Fujisaki was willing to agree, "but you forget the fact that Shuichi was useless when it came to English. He couldn't even pronounce 'hello' correctly." From the scorn in his voice you could tell that the boy was not very fond of Shindou.

"Heroooo!" Ryuichi exclaimed in a perfect imitation of Shuichi, and laughed.

"Ah-ah," Yuki said, holding up a finger to quieten him. "_You're_ forgetting something. Assuming that 'Sorrow in Snow' really was recorded in February of this year, which is approximately two months ago, they've had six months up until then to teach him. And, mind you, six months is a long time if you only do one thing. Even Shuichi can be taught one thing or another - his thick, stupid head notwithstanding. And if you listen really carefully you hear a clear Japanese accent, which indicates that they weren't able to make it disappear completely even when he was singing."

He played the song to them again. And, yes, Jamie Smith did have an apparent accent that could very well be of Japanese origin. For example, the word 'flew' became 'frue' and 'blue' became 'boo'. Words like 'heard' and 'caller' changed sounds altogether and became 'haad' and 'callaa', 'caller' sounding more like 'coraa', actually. The Japanese language did not have any equivalent to those sounds, and so they used a prolonged A instead. The accent was very slight, almost unnoticable to an untrained ear, but it was there alright.

"Whoaah!" Ryuichi suddenly expelled from the sofa, and they all turned towards him to see what had caught his attention this time. He was holding an American music magazine in his hands and was currently deeply involved in one of the articles it sported. A brief chuckle escaped him. "Well, I'll be damned. Never thought _they'd_ get a second chance!"

Seguchi's eyes narrowed. "Who's gotten a second chance?" he asked bluntly, and it was evident that he sensed something fishy.

Ryuichi looked up, and his brown eyes were puzzled. "ASK's been signed by XMR, would you believe it?" He chuckled again and reburied his face in the magazine.

Yuki instantly swirled around at him. "What?"

Images of that Aizawa dick flashed by on the silverscreen of his inner eye at immense speed. The bastard that had paid three guys to rape his Shu, while he had been watching and taking pictures - _souvenirs_.

Hiro picked up the CD case from the bookshelf on which Yuki had put it and studied it more closely. "This 'Jamie Smith' is signed by XMR, too," he informed them solemnly.

Suddenly everything seemed so clear to Yuki.

He knew who was responsible for all this.

Clenching his hands into tight fists, he said, "That bastard. I'll fucking kill him for this."


	42. A Need to Get Out

**A Need to Get Out**

¤¤¤8 MONTHS AFTERWARDS¤¤¤

* * *

He came to in a gloomy room that smelled of sex, cigarette smoke, and piss. Blinked dazedly and noticed that his left eye was swollen shut. He had no recollections of where he was, but that did not really matter.

It was not the place or the people he was with that made him shudder, that gave him nightmares; it was what they did to him. Nausea settled in, and he scrambled up onto his hands and knees and just about made it to the edge of the bed before the little food he had been granted last night came back up.

He coughed and winced as his ribs ached painfully. His entire body hurt – every inch of it was bruised and scratched and battered – but his butt hurt the most. Last night's customer had been into some seriously kinky stuff and abused him in ways he had not even thought possible. He spit out some blood on the filthy carpet. Then the shivers hit him. The shivers that always came with the Need.

He got out of the dirty bed and went to his small shoulder bag, which contained all his personal affects. What little he was allowed to have. Rummaged through it. No, he was all out.

His eyes fell on the closed bedroom door. The filthy fucker was still sound asleep in the bed and probably would not wake up for another five hours; he had taken some serious shit last night and was out cold. Maybe he could make it to the street below before anyone came to pick him up. Maybe this time he could actually escape, although he had failed every time he had tried for the past eight months.

Maybe today would be different.

He shouldered his bag and went to the door. Threw it open and ran out. But when he was three feet away from the front door, someone spoke behind him. "Going somewhere, _Shuichi_?"

He froze and slowly turned towards his nemesis.

"I want out, Aizawa," he said thickly. It even hurt to speak. He had lost another tooth, one of the front ones this time. Both lips were split, swollen, and caked with coagulated blood and caused him to slur on the words. "I don't wanna do this anymore."

Aizawa laughed demonically. "And you think you can decide something that important all by yourself, Shuichi?" he wondered maliciously. Then he shook his head. "No, I'm afraid I can't grant that wish. Proposal denied. You'll do this for as long as I tell you to do this, understand?"

Shuichi lowered his gaze in shame. "I... I need more he-heroin..."

He put his shaking hands in the pockets of his tattered, old, torn jacket.

Aizawa considered him for a few moments. Then he nodded. "I'll give my contact a call as soon as we get back to the flat," he consented. "You coming or not?"

Shuichi had no option; he had to go with Aizawa. Had to sing his stupid songs at daytime and whore for him at night, because if he did not Aizawa would kill him. And no matter how dark things got he always clung to the hope that he would one day see Yuki again.

It was what kept him alive.


	43. Suguru's Insight

**Suguru's Insight**

"That fucking bastard! I'm 'onna go over there and kill his ass!" Yuki snarled in white-hot fury and drunkenly stumbled for the door, his fists raised threateningly in front of himself.

Seguchi and Nakano grabbed one arm each and held him back with all their might.

"Hey, hey, wait!" Nakano yelled. "Where are you going?"

Yuki stumbled on his own feet and fell to the floor. With a lot of effort he managed to pull himself back up on his feet. He wobbled for a second. "To New York, where'd you think I was goin'?" he hissed accusatory.

"What?" Seguchi said. "Why?"

"To find that sonofabitch Aizawa and make him give my Shu back!"

The shacho stared at him in puzzlement. "Aizawa? You mean Aizawa Taki-san? As in the vocalist of ASK?"

Yuki punched him in the face with his clenched fist. "_Yes!_" he shouted. "_Yes_, I mean Aizawa vocalist of fucking ASK, who did you think I meant?! Now get out of my way, I'm gonna go to New York and kill him. Excuse me."

But Touma went around him and placed himself directly in his path. The shacho had an expression of cold determination on his pallid face, and he met Yuki's eyes without the faintest trace of fear or indecision. "No, I won't let you go like that, Eiri-san," he said in a low, spooky voice. "You're drunk, and you're obviously a danger to yourself and others. I command you to stay for the night and sleep it off. I will call Japanese Airlines and book you on a flight to New York in the morning. And I will go with you."

Yuki blinked in confusion. "Wha...? No, you're not coming with me, I need to do this myself..." he slurred.

But Touma just shook his head. "No. I'm coming with you. Period. If you wanna kill that Aizawa prat, then go ahead - be my guest. But if you think I'm gonna stand by and let you get caught for it, you're wrong."

Yuki did not know what to say.

Ryuichi shot up from the sofa and saluted him. "I'm going with you, too! I wanna help you find Shuichi!" he declared firmly.

Nakano took a step closer to him and smiled comfortingly. "I'm going, too. Shuichi's my best friend, and if he really is alive then I wanna help you save him from that ass."

Yuki stared at them in shock and puzzlement. He felt immensely touched that they would do something like that for him, and for his Shu, and if it was not for all the booze he probably would have cried. He was too numb to now.

Tatsuha came to his side and put a hand on his shoulder. "Wherever Ryu goes, I go, bro," he stated.

"Well, that's good enough," Yuki said, nodding with appreciation.

_Ka-ching_. K had loaded his favorite gun to the occasion. "You will need me when you take on the enemy forces," he said in a cold military voice.

Yuki did not dare object for fear of getting shot like Shuichi had so many times merely for being late for work.

"I... I will go, too."

They all turned to Fujisaki, who was watching them with much reluctance.

His dark eyes focused on Ryuichi, and he said, "Where Ryu goes, I go. From now on I won't let you out of my sight."

The right corner of the singer's mouth twitched. Then his face lit up and he beamed at the keyboardist. "Gee, thanks Makatsuki! I'll try to keep that in mind!" His face was genuinely happy and Ryu-like, but his voice was sarcastic and seemed to be mocking Fujisaki. He patted Tatsuha on the chest. "Shall we go, then? I think our work here is done." He turned to Yuki just before leaving. "Make sure you get enough rest now, Eiri-kun. Tomorrow we're gonna find Shuichi, ne (_right_)?" He winked naughtily.

Hiro left, too, closely followed by Sakano-san, who promised to hold down the fort while Seguchi was gone.

Once they were gone, Fujisaki let out an exaggerated moan of frustration. "What am I doing _wrong?_!" he wondered aloud, looking as if he was about to tear his hair.

Seguchi went over to him and put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "He doesn't know if he can trust you, itoko-san (_cousin_)," he said honestly, and laughed when Suguru swirled around at him with huge, incredulous eyes. "Oh, ho, ho! Don't worry, itoko-san! Ryuichi told me about you, and he spoke very warmly of you. Well... actually he was pining... But that's not the point. You have told him over and over that there can be nothing romantic between you two, so how come you changed your mind now?"

Fujisaki glared at him angrily – betrayed – for an eternity, but then he sighed and lowered his gaze. "I didn't realize I had... feelings for him until recently," he confessed reluctantly. "Yeah, I've been jealous every time he's been with that Tatsuha dick, but I never really..."

Touma nodded thoughtfully. "I see. So now you've decided to fight for him?"

"Hai." He glanced up at his cousin. "Do you think I have a shot, or is it too late?"

Seguchi considered the question for a while. "I think you have a good chance of reaching out to him, without a doubt," he said with conviction. "I think he still loves you. No man would forget about a love that strong so quickly."

"But why is he with Tatsuha, then?" Suguru wondered in despair.

"Because he gave up on you. He couldn't wait any longer, it hurt too much. He needed someone who would love and appreciate him for who he was, someone who could take care of him during a very difficult time. Remember that he was of the belief that his best friend had been murdered. He was devastated, and all he needed was some love. He reached out to you..."

"... but I turned him away," Fujisaki finished in terror.

"Yes, you did. Since Tatsuha had already confessed to being in love with him he did the only thing that he thought he _could_ do. He opened his heart to Tatsuha. Now, I don't know exactly what Ryuichi-san feels for young Uesugi-san, he hasn't spoken to me about it, but my gut feeling is he's just a rebound thing. Do you understand what I'm trying to tell you, Suguru?"

His cousin nodded quietly.

"Good. Now go home and get some sleep. Tomorrow's gonna be a long day."


	44. The Flat

**The Flat**

Shuichi hated the flat. When you first entered it, it looked as if a really decent, rich guy with a taste for the tasteful lived there, but Shuichi was not fooled. The man living within those walls was more evil and more sinister than the Devil himself. Sure, the place was meticulously clean, but the man himself was dirtier than all the men he had sent Shuichi to for the past eight months combined.

Shuichi's quarters were at the back of the flat, creatively hidden from other visitors. It was a square room, 6 by 8 feet, with foam padding on all the walls, the floor, and the ceiling; soundproof. The only thing inside was a bed, and the single window had been boarded up.

As soon as he got back from a customer, Aizawa always locked him in that room. Handcuffed to the bedposts he was left to cry in the total darkness. Thrice a day a light meal was brought to him, just enough to sustain him, and he was allowed to go to the bathroom once in the morning and once in the evening, before being escorted to the next customer.

Some were regulars, but most of them were strangers that he never saw again, but they all had one thing in common; they were violent.

Aizawa liked when they hurt him. His smile was broader the worse Shuichi was battered when he came back. He got off on his pain.

That morning he hoped that Aizawa would put him back in the room right away so he could be alone. But once they had gotten inside the flat it became apparent that the older man wanted something completely different.

He handcuffed him.

Shuichi would not look at him when he slowly caressed his chin.

"What's wrong, Shuichi? You feelin' uncomfortable? Come here and I'll make it comfy for you." He laughed maliciously and forced him down on his hands and knees.

Tears fell from Shuichi's eyes and down onto the floor. "No..." he whispered. "Don't... please don't... Just let me go into the room instead. Please..."

He hated having to beg to that bastard, but he was too scared to shut up.

Aizawa pulled down his pants and underwear. "Sorry, no can do." His awful breath was on his neck, and Shuichi dared not move. "I plan to enjoy this very much."

Shuichi could feel the bastard's erection press against his opening, and he cried loudly, clenching his hands into tight fists against the pain. He screamed in pain as he was penetrated. "No, no! Stop it! Please, stop it... _it hurts_..."

But Aizawa loved other people's pain, and he found Shuichi's pain particularly delicious. Like so many times before, he raped Shuichi, thrusting violently and mercilessly into him, making sure that he hurt ten times as bad afterwards than he had been before the rape started.

All throughout the gruesome act, Shuichi had to listen to the twisted man's grunting, gasping, and shouting, all the time crying and begging him to stop.

When he was finished, Shuichi could not move because of the pain. He could hardly even breathe. The world was an eternal darkness with billions of bright stars of pain.

Aizawa just laughed. The bastard was pleased with himself.

Shuichi glared up at him with dark, hateful eyes. "That'll be tw-two hundred bucks," he heard himself say as a reflex, and felt immensely humiliated for even uttering it aloud.

_I'm a whore_, he thought miserably. _I screw people for money. I'm a whore._

Once again, Aizawa laughed – that awful, demonic laughter. He licked his lips obscenely. "No, this one was on you."

Shuichi felt relieved when he was finally returned to the room at the back and was cuffed to the bed. But the relief was brief; soon the Need reminded itself, and his body shook with abstinence. He cried out in frustration.

He hated that bastard Aizawa.

Aizawa had taken him away from his Yuki, stolen his entire life, used him to get back into the music business, made a whore of him, and got him addicted to drugs.

For the umpteenth time, he promised himself that he would kill him.

One day he would kill him.


	45. Airport Argument

**Airport Argument**

Seguchi had booked them on an early flight to New York, just as promised, and Yuki was finally starting to feel some sort of calm. Now that he was certain that Shu was still alive he felt vibrant and passionate again. He would turn the entire city of New York upside down until he found his husband and could bring him back home safely.

And then he would kill Aizawa.

At the airport, things were going down when he and Seguchi arrived, and his own little brother was in the middle of it.

"Bro! Bro, I finally did it, bro! _Bro!_" he yelled when they joined the small group, running towards Yuki like some hyper little kid who had eaten too much sugar.

Yuki yawned uninterestedly. "Did what?"

"I slept with Sakuma Ryuichi!" his younger brother declared, beaming like an idiot.

"Oh, you finally got to sleep in his bunk bed?" Yuki scorned spitefully.

"No, I really slept with him!" Tatsuha objected, almost sounding desperate to convince his brother. "I slept with him, fucked him, _had sex_ with him! I swear!"

"Good for you, moron. Now that you've fulfilled your destiny you might wanna concentrate on the task ahead instead of drooling on my coat. Thank you."

He walked past him without another word.

"I told you I was sorry!" Fujisaki was shouting at Ryuichi when they got within hearing distance of the two quarreling men.

"Yeah? Does that mean you have exclusivity now?" Ryuichi retorted furiously. "I can do whatever I want, and you fucking said it was over so I don't care about your stupid hurt feelings!"

"Uh-oh, this is bad..." Touma stated worriedly.

Nakano joined them when he spotted them. "What the fuck is going on here?" he wondered. "They've been at each other's throats for ten minutes now!"

"They're trying to establish whether they once had an actual relationship or just sex," Touma said, going with the short version of the story to speed things up.

"What? You mean... Sakuma and Fujisaki...?"

"Yeah."

"You have no right to make demands, kouhai!" Ryuichi warned angrily.

"I know that! But what I'm trying to tell you is I don't care anymore! I don't care about what people think, and I don't care about my own reputation! I want to be with you no matter what people say, and I am _not _gonna watch you make your life miserable together with that scumbag Tatsuha!"

"Scumbag now, is he? Was that always your opinion or did you change your mind _after I slept with him_?"

"Ryu, I..." Fujisaki stopped himself to lower his voice. People were staring. "Oh, what the heck, screw caution. I love you, Ryu. I'm sorry it took me so long to realize it. I've been a dick."

The singer looked as if he was about to spit out another creative repartee, but then he gaped at Fujisaki in astonishment. "Excuse me? What did you say?" he wondered weakly.

Fujisaki managed a small smile. "I love you."

"You..." But his tongue did not seem to be willing to cooperate on that one.

Fujisaki took a few steps closer. "You've made your point. Now drop that loser and come back to me. I want you."

Ryuichi obviously wanted to believe him, but his eyes were still cold and hard. "I want you to break up with her," he demanded snottily.

Fujisaki blinked at him in confusion. "Who?"

"Akiko. That little _girlfriend _of yours."

To the singer's great surprise, the keyboardist actually burst out laughing. "There is no girlfriend," he said with amusement in his dark eyes. "Haven't you got it? There never was a girlfriend. I just said that to get rid of you, because... because I was scared."

"You... you were scared?"

"Aa (_yeah_). Having that strong feelings for another person made me scared to death. But I'm not anymore."

Ryuichi smiled and came to him. Embraced him and gently pressed his lips to Fujisaki's.

People all around them gasped and cried out in alarm.

"Oh, no! Forbidden love!" Yuki hissed impatiently at them. "Mind your own business! It's rude to stare!" He winked at Ryuichi when they broke apart. "Congratulations, Sakuma. What do you say we board that plane and go save Shuichi now?"

The singer saluted him. "Hai, hai! Wakarimashita! Shuichi wo tasukeikooouuu!" (_Yes, sir! Roger that! Let's go save_ _Shuichiiiiii!_)


	46. His Big Break

**His Big Break**

Ken took him to his customer that night, and he vainly tried to delay the scheduled meeting as long as possible. He was still aching from the previous night – and from Aizawa's go. Like so many nights before he tried to talk Ken down, but the man would not listen.

"Why are you doing this?" he asked.

"Shut up."

"Why are you doing Aizawa's dirty deeds?" Shuichi went on as he was dragged down a backstreet in a very shady neighborhood. "Why are you helping a procurer? Don't you have a conscience, Ken-chan? You know what you're doing is illegal, right?"

"_I SAID SHUT UP!_"

He knew better than to keep provoking him. It would not work, anyway.

This time he was sent to a particularly cruel and violent customer, all in accordance to Aizawa's mood that day. The guy – big, mid-fifties, bald, _strong_ – did not just want to fuck him; he wanted to beat him. For two hundred bucks Shuichi got kick after kick in the stomach, punch after punch in the face, and it never seemed to stop.

After beating him the guy wanted to fuck him, and after fucking him the guy wanted to sleep.

Shuichi gratefully took his money and got up on wobbly legs. He felt ready to faint, but forced himself to remain conscious. This was his break. Ken would not return for another three hours – this was his chance to get out, to be free again. And with the money he had made he could probably pick up enough dope to sustain him for 36 hours.

He felt ashamed for even considering to buy drugs with the money he had made putting out to someone against his will, but he did not know what else to do. He needed that shit, _needed_ it. Some day he would try to quit, but it was still too soon for that.

First he needed to get out of that shitty apartment and get as far away from it as he could before he passed out. He would not be there when Ken came to pick him up, that's for sure.

He stumbled out of the bedroom.


	47. Savior of the Day

**Savior of the Day**

They arrived well in time for some investigation, and Yuki went directly to XMR Records ackompanied by Seguchi and Ryuichi. He would have preferred to go by himself, but Touma insisted on coming along since he could pull his strings as a record company owner. He'd done business with XMR before and knew most of the company's board members.

Ryuichi came along in case Touma could not get people moving in there; he'd once been signed, so he could easily point to the gold records on the walls and say "I sang those, now give me what I want".

Unfortunately they all came in vain. The girl in the reception knew nothing else than that Jamie Smith had a couple days off, and she did not know where they could find him. Nor could she direct them to anyone who did. According to her the young star was very secretive and hardly ever showed himself, not even at his own record company.

"Well, it figures," Yuki said testily when they left XMR. "Aizawa can't let Shuichi show himself without the risk of someone noticing that he's not the least bit American. Anyone who saw him would remember him since it's fucking odd that someone who's said to be American doesn't even speak the language. And that'd _really _get them thinking, 'coz how could he sing all those songs if he didn't even speak the language in the first place? And if anyone came in here asking for him they'd know it was him right away."

"Sou desu ne (_Yeah, you're right about that_)," Seguchi said.

They tried some more detective work in XMR's surroundings, but found nothing fishy, so Yuki decided that they should all get some rest and set out in the morning again.

Touma had fixed them up with three luxurious suites courtesy N-G, but Ryuichi was the one who handled all the talk. After living as an American for more than four years (his three years as a solo artist for XMR plus a not so lucrative year of acting in Hollywood) he was the one mastering the language best of the lot.

Thanks to continued use of English he still spoke the language fluently without the slightest trace of an accent. He could easily pass for an Asian American and claimed to be visiting the Big Apple together with his brothers and cousins from Japan when he wrote them in at the reception.

"'S been a long flight from LA and we're just looking for some rest right now," he told the pretty receptionist and fired off one of his most charming smiles.

"Hayaku shiro, baka (_Hurry the fuck up, idiot_)," Fujisaki said, his arms crossed over his chest and a look of sheer disapproval on his youthful face. It was plain that he was jealous with Ryuichi being all flirty, but his act fit perfectly as the impatient little brother so they let him be.

Ryuichi smiled apologetically at the female hotel clerk. "Please excuse my little brother, he's suffering from jetlag," he said and shrugged.

The woman bent forward over the desk and smiled broadly at Fujisaki. "He's so cute! How old is he, sixteen?"

"Twenty," Ryuichi corrected her.

She straightened up again. "Asian guys are really hot," she said with an approving look at Yuki.

Yuki held up his left hand to show her the ring. "Married," he said, because he did not want her and her girlfriends to chase after him during their stay in NY.

She made a disappointed grimace. "Ah, well. All the best ones are taken, anyway. Here are your keys, Mr Johnson."

When they walked into the elevator, Fujisaki was still sulking. "Kawaikunai desu (_I'm not cute_)," he muttered defiantly.

Ryuichi fleetingly kissed the top of his messy head. "Iya, sou dewa nai. Anata wa totemo kawaii na no da (_You're wrong. You're very pretty_)," he assured his young boyfriend.

Fujisaki actually laughed with embarrassment; his cheeks turned crimson. "Jyanai!" (_Get out!_)

Touma watched them fondly.

Yuki impatiently shuffled his feet while the elevator slowly went up towards the topmost floors. "Exactly who am I again?" he asked them sourly.

"The middle brother," Ryuichi informed him excitedly. "I'm oldest, of course. And Touma and Hiro are our cousins!"

"And _I'm_ your bodyguard," K put in with a demonic chuckle.

Yuki swiftly turned away from the creepy manager. "Okay, sure, whatever."

Touma and him shared a suite with two huge bedrooms, a spacy elegantly furnitured living room, and a luxurious bath with a jaccuzi. Ryuichi and Fujisaki were bunking in the suite next to theirs and Nakano had to live with K one floor below. (Tatsuha had decided to stay home since he would not get to stay with Sakuma-san.)

Touma ordered some late dinner with room service, but Yuki was not hungry. After an hour of jittery agitation he decided to go for a walk. Touma did not stop him, but it was evident that he did not like it, either.

He went to a neighborhood he'd often visited during his earlier stays in NY and passed what had once been his favorite bar. He stopped outside, wondering if he should go inside and check if Kitazawa Yoshiki still worked there.

"Iya! Hanashite!" (_No! Let go of me!_)

Yuki glanced back over his shoulder. This was a street crowded with hookers and thugs, so he was not very surprised to find that a young male prostitute was being harassed by a much bigger guy who was obviously trying to get some against the little guy's will. The only thing surprising was that the assaulted guy was speaking Japanese. But Asian Americans were pretty common these days, and that particular guy might be a newcomer who failed to realise his dreams and ended up on the street.

Yuki turned his back on it. He really did not need to get into trouble now.

"Iya da! Omae to ikitakunai yo!" (_No! I don't want to go with you!_)

"Oh, come on, don't be such a pansy, I know you want to, all dressed up like that, looking slutty and whatnot..." the assailer replied and laughed maliciously.

Yuki shut his eyes. Forced himself not to hear it.

"Iie! _Iie_ tte! Hanashite kudasai!" (_No! __I said _no_! Please let go of me!_)

"Stop squirming, you little worm!"

"Yamete... Yamete kudasai... yamete..." (_Stop... Please stop... stop..._)

Yuki could not stand it anymore – the guy was crying, for fuck's sake! Even though he had no business helping a prostitute, he crossed the empty street and walked straight up to the struggling men. He grabbed the assailant's arm roughly. "Yamero! Kono kata wo hanase!" (_Stop it! Let go of him__!_) he said violently.

The big man cried out in surprise and pain.

The male prostitute quickly backed away. He fell to his knees and began to search for something on the ground, repeating the word "Itteru, itteru, itteru..." (_Need, need, need..._) over and over.

Yuki punched the creep in the face. "_KAERE!_ (_GET THE HELL AWAY FROM HERE!_) And don't come back!" He was breathing heavily, and there was froth on his lips. All his pent-up rage had suddenly surfaced on a gigantic surge of adrenaline.

The guy ran away as fast as he could and did not even look back at them.

"Arigatou." (_Thank you._)

Yuki turned towards the prostitute to say 'You're welcome', but when he looked directly at the young man he froze with recognition.

The man was wearing nothing but an old blue cotton vest and very worn bluejeans caked with dirt and old blood. He was badly battered; bruises and abrasions everywhere. Aside from that, he was very dirty, and his black hair was messy and looked as if it hadn't been trimmed for ages. He was not wearing any shoes.

Really bad shivers passed through the poor guy as he desperately kept searching for whatever it was he had lost. "Stole my jacket..." he murmured to himself. "Oh, where the fuck is it? I need it, need it, need it... cost me a fucking fortune..."

Yuki saw the syringe before he did and instantly knew what had 'cost a fortune'.

He was afraid to say the name aloud, because this could not be right, but yet he had to or he would forever regret not doing so when he had the chance. "Sh... Shuichi?"

The young man jerked and froze, his hand only a foot or two from his prize now.

Without looking up, he said, "Yuki?"

Yuki squealed with relief and flung himself down to hug his husband.

Shuichi shied away from him as if he expected to be hit. "No, don't look at me!" he begged. "Please don't look at me... I'm not the man that you remember, I'm... _I'm a whore_." A loud sob escaped him.

Yuki ignored him and gently put his fingers around Shuichi's chin. Slowly, slowly, he made him turn his face to meet his gaze.

He flinched when he saw the gruesome state of Shu's face. Black and blue and green and purple-red, cut, one eye swollen shut, split lips, broken nose, half an eyebrow ripped off of him, bumps on his forehead...

Drowning in despair, he threw his arms around him and pressed him towards his body. "Oh, Shu, what has he done to do?" he said, tears streaming down his face. "_What the fuck_ has he done to you?"

Shuichi wailed and tried to push him away. "No, no, no... I'm not worthy of you anymore... Get away while you can, I'll only drag you into my nightmare..."

"No, I'll never leave you, I'll never let you out of my sight again, ever," Yuki objected insistently. "Oh God, I thought you were dead. They found your things by the Tone and they told me you were dead... I've never been so brokenhearted in my life. I thought I was the one who'd died. But now I've finally found you, and I'm never letting you go again." He hugged him tighter.

Shuichi finally began to relax in his arms. He leaned against him and sighed. After a long while he finally raised his hands and hesitantly put them around Yuki's back. "Oh, I thought I'd never see you again..." he cried. "I thought I'd never manage to get out of that hell-hole."

"_Sssch..._ Everything's fine now. We're together again, and I won't let anything happen to you."

"We have to go before they find us," Shuichi told him with fear in his hoarse, exhausted voice. "I didn't get far because of my leg. He broke my leg."

"Who broke your leg?" Yuki asked furiously.

"I don't know who he is, just one of my customers, he's not a regular." Shuichi noticed that Yuki had stiffened at the mentioning of 'customers' and 'regulars' and sighed. "A lot has happened since Aizawa had me kidnapped, and I'll tell you all about it later, but right now we really need to go."

Yuki nodded reluctantly. "Okay. Just let me call Touma. I'll have him send a car to pick us up." He took out his cell.

Shuichi blinked at him in surprise. "Seguchi-san's here?" he wondered.

Yuki smiled tenderly at him. "They're all here to bring you back home. K and Hiro are having a pillow fight in their suite, and Ryuichi-chan is probably very busy making love to Fujisaki right now," he told him, aware that those news would probably come as a big shock to the vocalist.

Shuichi's eyes widened with astonishment and disbelief. "Sakuma-san's dating _Fujisaki_? What the hell's happened while I've been gone?"

"Loads of crazy things."

"But... but why are they all here...?"

Yuki put a hand on his head and caressed him very carefully, aware of his many bruises and bumps. "Shu, we've been mourning you as dead for eight months," he reminded him. "Finding out that you're alive calls for a hell of a celebration, and they all wanted to come to the party. Besides, we're gonna need them if we're gonna dodge that Aizawa and get back to Japan alive."

Shuichi nodded.

Yuki spoke to Seguchi in an urgent tone of voice and had him promise to send a car that did not look all too conspicuous. When he hung up he noticed that Shuichi was about to bag the syringe. He swiftly snatched it out of his shaking hand and threw it into a dark alleyway nearby.

Shuichi cried out irritably. "My heroin!" He started to hit Yuki repeatedly in the chest. "Hey, that was expensive, you jerk! I need that, I'm having a real bad abstinence here, _I need_ that..!"

Yuki clasped his arms around the flailing man. "Leave it. It's bad for you. Hell if I'm gonna let that Aizawa dick live now! He got you addicted to drugs, too?"

He sat like that, with Shuichi desperately squirming in his arms, shouting obscenities at him, calling him all sorts of nasty names, for another ten minutes until the car arrived and brought them out of there.


	48. Tatchi The Fighter

**Tatchi – The Fighter**

That night brought only bad news to Aizawa's attention, and he was already in a bad mood. First Maa-kun came to tell him that Yuki Eiri had showed up at XMR asking for Jamie Smith.

"Shit," Aizawa said, considering his options.

He had not expected the novelist to find them just yet, maybe not ever.

Then Ken returned without Shindou.

"He's gone, Tatchi!" he said exasperatedly. "I went back to pick him up, but he wasn't there! Somehow he got out, but don't worry, I already have people checking all the nearby streets and alleys. He can't have gotten far in that state."

So, things were going down the drain for them, were they?

Well, Aizawa "Tatchi" Taki was not one to give up so easily.

He fought.


	49. Hospital Act

**Hospital Act**

¤¤¤1 HOUR RUNNING¤¤¤

* * *

He made sure that the driver brought them to a hospital ASAP, and on the way there he worked out a story in his mind. He could not tell the hospital staff their real names, because then Aizawa would find them in no time. Nor could he tell them what had really happened. But Shuichi needed immediate medical attention and a good detoxication.

The singer sat crawled up in the corner of the backseat with his legs drawn up to his chin. His attention lay elsewhere; now and then he murmured to himself.

Yuki was afraid that he'd start to hallucinate and go paranoid on him; he did not know if he would be able to handle him if he became violent. And he certainly did not want to hurt him. But would Shuichi recognize him if his abstinence led to disillusion?

When the car stopped he did not get out. Yuki stood on the sidewalk, patiently waiting for him by the cardoor. After a while, he said, "Shuichi?"

The vocalist peered up at him.

"We're here."

It took him a moment to register the meaning of those words and to acknowledge the change of environment, but a minute later he stepped out beside Yuki. The novelist put his arm protectively around his shoulders and led him toward the sliding doors.

He stopped Shuichi ten feet from the reception desk. "Listen to me," he said in a low voice. "I'm gonna have to make up a story for the nurses and the doctors here 'coz we can't tell them your real name. So don't be angry with me if I flirt a little with the lady behind that counter, alright? It's only for the sake of your safety, I don't want anything to do with women. Okay?"

Shuichi glared up at him. He looked pissed and exhausted and he was shaking worse than ever. Several of his muscles kept twitching. "If you're gonna speak English I won't understand anyway, so why bother with the dreary explanation?" he hissed irritably.

"Because I love you, moron."

"Go eat shit – I have a headache," Shuichi complained, and rubbed the top of his head.

Yuki brought them up to the reception desk. "¤Excuse me, my brother here needs instant medical treatment¤," he said to the nurse, who looked up at him with an approving smile.

"¤Sure¤," she said pleasantly, "¤you just need to fill out these forms and—¤"

"¤Sorry, but we can't fill out form. We are from Japan and we don't have American insurance. I apologize for that, miss. My brother ran away two years ago to be actor, but he end up on street.¤" Yuki made a brief pause and nodded in Shuichi's direction. _God, I hope my_ _English is sufficient to make this woman understand what he needs_, he thought anxiously. _I don't even know if I'm pronouncing_ _everything correctly. Maybe I should've asked Ryuichi-san to meet up with us here._

He saw that the nurse was studying Shuichi with obvious humility.

He continued: "¤I search for him all this time and I finally find him today. His condition really bad is, I think. He's been raped many times and lured to drugs. Can you please help my brother?¤"

Hopefully the nurse would fall for his act and pity them enough to make an exception – he knew many hospitals in America only offered medical treatment to insured people.

Shuichi was fidgeting nervously at his side. "What is she saying about me?" he asked worriedly. "She's not in league with Aizawa, is she?"

"No," he assured him calmly, "I'm trying to get her to help you for free, so don't freak out, OK?"

The nurse watched them as they conversed in Japanese, obviously expecting some sort of translation eventually. Yuki smiled apologetically at her. "¤He is getting paranoid. He's addicted to heroin and has not got any for more hours. Er,_many_ hours.¤ Sumimasen. (_I'm sorry_.) ¤He need—¤"

"_NO!_ No, don't let them take me, no, no, please no, oh God!" Suddenly Shuichi started to flail his arms about himself as if fending off invisible attackers. He squealed in agony and hid behind Yuki. People were staring at them now.

"Calm down, shujin (_husband_)," he told him tenderly, but firmly. And then, for the nurse's ears: "¤Please, brother, calm down, I only want to help you.¤"

But Shuichi would not stop fidgeting; if it had not been for Yuki firmly holding on to his arm, he probably would have run out of there in flight from his inner monsters. The novelist felt sorry for him, and it saddened him that it had gone this far before he found him. Had he only put more effort into it, had he only listened to his heart instead of those fucking policemen...

"¤Er, if you would just follow me, sir, I can get your brother a private room...¤"

Yuki turned to the nurse in bafflement. Shu was making a scene and she was suddenly willing to help them? _Man, this country is weird_, he thought to himself.

Forcing himself to smile appreciatively, he bowed to her. "¤Thank you. Thank you very much, miss.¤"

She winked at him. "¤Sure, don't mention it – especially not to my boss.¤"

A joke. This was becoming too much.

"¤I'll go set things up for him. In the meantime, why don't you help your brother freshen up in the bathroom over there?¤" She pointed down the hall to their right. "¤What is your brother's name?¤"

"Shi—" Yuki stopped himself before he could utter the entire name aloud and blow their cover. Biting his lip he searched his mind for a suitable name for his 'little brother'. "Shiru. Kouta Shiru." Yuki cursed himself under his breath. That was a lousy name, but it would have to do until they got out of that hospital.

The nurse nodded and left to fix Shu's room.

"Is she gone?" Shuichi asked when her footsteps had died away, and to Yuki's surprise he was utterly calm and collected. He peered up at him with his good eye, and Yuki's heart almost broke at the sadness and the helplessness in it. He wanted to hug him, but a hug would most likely lead to at least one French kiss due to severe lack of intimacy (eight months was a long time), and that would most likely unsettle the friendly nurse if she saw them. They really did not need to get the police involved in this, and if the nurse believed them to be incestuous she would most definitely call the cops.

Yuki wanted to kill the motherfucker Aizawa, and he could not do that with the police snooping around looking for a guy who snogged his own brother in public fitting his description.

"What? Are you okay now?" Yuki asked hesitantly.

"Yeah. Think she bought it?"

Yuki was taken aback. The kid was actually aware enough of his own condition to act drug-crazed in order to get his way, and that was sort of a positive. He would have liked to hit him on the head, but settled for a tender smile. "Kono baka. (_You idiot_.) What are all those Hollywood actors compared to you? That one could have won you an Oscar!" He laughed and ruffled the singer's hair.

He helped Shuichi wash up a bit in the bathroom, and he tried to be as gentle as possible when he slowly scrubbed his husband's face, neck, and hands with a cotton ball. When the dried blood came off he looked a little bit more presentable, but his face was still gruesome.

A muscle twitched in the corner of Yuki's right eye. "That asshole... he will fucking pay..."

Shuichi frowned. "Are you talking about Aizawa, Yuki?"

"Who else? Anyone else in on this shit?"

"Maa and Ken, of course. You know, the other members of ASK. Maa-kun seems a bit reluctant, but Ken's as dirty as Aizawa, only he never ra... hurt me."

"WHAT? That Aizawa bastard raped you too?!"

"Yuki, lower your voice, we're at a hospital now. You can yell all you want when you get back to the hotel, all right?" They were both silent for a while. Then Shuichi sighed. "Yeah, he raped me. Most of the time he was satisfied just seeing what other people had done to me, but sometimes that wasn't enough. Sometimes he wanted to hurt me himself."

A lonely tear slowly slid down his cheek.

Yuki embraced him. "Oh, Shu... I'm so sorry all that happened to you. I should have protected you better. I will never let you out of my sight ever again. But you have to promise me never to wander off as well. Never_ever_ wander off without me, OK?"

Shuichi squeezed his waist. "Un, yakusoku da." (_Yeah, I promise_.)

Once Shuichi was set up in his private room, a doctor was brought in to take a look at him. Yuki was not allowed to be present during the examination, so he decided to get himself a coffee. Hopefully it would help him stay focused and alert. As he bent down to get the can from the machine he saw Touma step through the sliding doors.

He straightened up and awaited his approach.

"How is he?" the shacho asked with worried wrinkles all over his forehead.

Yuki glanced up the corridor longingly. "He's badly beaten, Touma. Apparently Aizawa's forced him into prostitution, sending him around to different guys every night, and he has to do everything they want. He's... he's even raped him _himself_. Aizawa_raped_ my Shu-chan, ani."

So much sad understanding, so much compassion in those deep, enigmatic eyes. With a small nod of encouragement, Touma put an arm around his shoulders and directed him toward two empty chairs in the waiting room. Once they had sat down, he said, "Tell me everything, Eiri-kun.


	50. One thing in common

**One thing in common: They both wanna see someone hurt.**

"I'm sorry, boss, we can't find him anywhere."

"Dammit!" Aizawa slammed his fist down onto the table in the conference room at XMR Records. He had been waiting anxiously for his men to report to him for several hours, and they had fucking promised him that they'd find the sneaky brat in no time!

Now, five hours later, Shindou was still missing and another day of hard work was approaching for Jamie Smith. If they could not find him soon... somebody at the record company would wonder what had happened to their promising new star.

He glared up at Ken with blazing eyes. "Didn't I tell you not to come back here until you had found him?" he asked, and forced himself to remain calm.

Ken squirmed a little. "Hai, but..."

"No fucking buts! _Find – him!_ Is that so fucking hard to get? Will I need to carve it into your arm in order for you to remember that order?"

Ken instantly backed away in fright. "Uh, no! No, not at all, boss! I'm sorry, it won't happen again. But boss... where do we go now? Where do we search for him?"

Aizawa leaned in over the table and supported his chin on the backs of his hands, his elbows pressed so hard against the tabletop it hurt. "Check all the hospitals and police stations, he might have gone for help somewhere," he finally demanded in a weaker voice. He was so tired, _exhausted_... and he would get no sleep before he was absolutely sure that their corporation was still safe. "And check all the hotels. Find Yuki Eiri and put a tail on him. I wanna know about everything he does. Everything."

Ken nodded feverishly, bowed, and backed out of the room.

When he had left, Aizawa got out of his chair and walked up to the window. Pulling the venetian blinds aside, he gazed down onto the quiet, almost-deserted street below.

There was still time. He had not lost to Yuki Eiri yet.

There was still time.

* * *

The president was shaking with anger when Yuki had finished recounting everything that Shuichi had told him. His eyes were ablaze with a wrath so white-hot and pure it almost made Yuki afraid of him for a while. In eleven years of knowing him, he had never seen Seguchi this mad; regardless of the circumstances, the president had always stayed calm and collected. Outwardly he was always smiling that enigmatic smile that so seldom reached his eyes, but on the inside... Nobody knew what Touma was thinking or feeling in his innermost.

But during the past eight months Touma had opened up and always showed Eiri what he was feeling, always told him what he was thinking. That was a confidence that Yuki should treasure because the shacho obviously felt that he could trust him.

And he should return that confidence, too – always.

"Is that what he did to him?" Touma asked with both hands and teeth clenched.

Yuki nodded silently.

"Then I wanna see him hurt," the president continued, his knuckles turning alabaster white. "I wanna see him fucking dead. Nobody messes with my family, and that kid is like a son to me. If I had only known what kind of person Aizawa Taki was... I never would have let him off that easy. I would have seen to it that he never survived that 'car accident'."

Yuki narrowed his eyes suspiciously. "Wait a minute, ani... do you mean to tell me that _you_ were responsible for that car accident four years ago?"

Touma looked up at him with slightly surprised eyes. "Yes, of course. I warned him that something might happen to him if he didn't get off your case, but he defied me. So I pushed him in front of that car. Dear Sakano-san was so kind as to speed a little extra for me."

Yuki knew not to pursue the topic further. But he felt an enormous affection for the shacho for the deed that he had done Shuichi and himself, so he leaned in and placed a kiss on the older man's cheek. "Arigatou gozaimasu, Nii-chan (_Thank you most kindly, big bro_)," he murmured with gratitude.

Touma blinked at him in bewilderment and puzzlement for a while, but then his eyes started to water. He opened his mouth and attempted a reply, but no sounds came from his lips. He seemed to be so paralyzed by emotion that he could not find anything to say.

There was no need to; Yuki already knew what the president needed to convey. That he felt honored to be Eiri's friend, that he appreciated him still calling him 'ani' even though he had divorced the novelist's sister, but that he was sad, possibly devastated, that there could never be anything more between them.

That kiss had proved that to him. This was it. They would never be an item, and Touma finally had to let go and allow Eiri to have a life with Shuichi. He had to learn how to live his own life now, because he couldn't live Yuki's anymore.

"I need to get out of here," he suddenly said, and rose from his seat. Snivelling slightly, he blotted his eyes on the sleeve of his coat. "I'm sorry, Eiri-kun, but I can't deal with this right now. Gomen-nasai."

He left before Yuki could object.

* * *

**A/N:** Hello again... I am sorry that it took me so long to update (and that even _this_ update is extremely short and sort of uneventful), but I've been ill for some time now and not been able to sit in front of a computer. I will try my best to update with a few new chapters as soon as possible - I almost have another one finished. But since it's been a while since last I decided to at least publish this one, even though I wanted to wait until I had more finished. Anyway, if you have a little patience, then... ;) See you again soon. /paipu-chan.


	51. A Kind Stranger

**A/N:** Now I'm back with a couple new chapters again! And I'm currently writing on more, I have loads of things in store for our dear characters. (hehe) Yaaay! I found Touma his own hunk! I was skimming through the first two or three volumes of Gravitation and found... (dun-dun-dun)... Nakano Yuji, Hiro's older brother! Yaaay! Somehow he seemed perfect. Sorry about making another guy in the story gay, though... or at least bi. Now, to celebrate the fact that I have actually managed to get more than 100 reviews now (unbelievable and freakish) I will answer the ones for the most recent chapter individually/personally. ;)

**Leprechaun reborn:** Gaah! I can really only say one thing: I love you! Thank you so, so much for all those lovely reviews! I feel like I know you now, after all those things you wrote about yourself... And thank you so much for all the cookies – they were delicious, haha. :) Gaah, I have so much I want to say/write to you in answer to your reviews and comments, but I really shouldn't do it like this. Arigatou! (And sorry for keeping you waiting!)

**SpiritSealedSlumber:** Thank you so much, _you_ really made _my_ day when I read your review. Just to think that someone actually thinks my little story is unique and one of the best Gravi-fics that person's read... I am honored. And I know! I am a huge fan of Shu-chan too! He is the greatest. I will never do anything to ruin things between him and Yuki, nuh-uh. :) Now I'm going to concentrate on making his life better, and to give him (and everyone else) their revenge. Matane.

**Kuma-chan:** Thank you for your review, and for your concern. I feel much better now, although not entirely myself yet. But there's nothing wrong with my creative juices, haha. They're once again flowing freely through my brain, and I will use them wisely to create the scenes that I know everyone's waiting for. Hai! Watashi wa genki desu yo!

**BabyDragon848:** You can bet on it! Aizawa will get more than he deserves, the bastard... (grinds teeth) I'll send K to track him down, I promise. ;)

**Heroin Girl:** Thank you, tomodachi! That made me really happy. It's so absurd to think that anyone out there would be proud of me because of some story I'm writing, but of course it makes me really happy when people say so. :) If it weren't for all the people who read and review, this story probably would have died a long time ago... :p

* * *

**A Kind Stranger**

¤¤¤4 HOURS RUNNING¤¤¤

He did not know where he wanted to go, just that he had to get as far away from the source of his pain as possible. It was not fair to bother Eiri-kun with this; it was not his fault. How stupid of him to deliberately keep his hopes up even after Eiri-kun had found his lover – his _husband!_ – thinking that something might still go wrong. That Eiri-kun would somehow change his mind about spending the rest of his life with Shindou-san and decide that he would rather have Touma for a husband.

Oh, how pathetic and utterly childish of him! Whatever had got in to him?!

_I am so selfish_, he thought miserably. _Shindou-san has been kept locked up in an apartment with fucking Aizawa Taki and been abused both physically and sexually for eight whole months! He's been forced into prostitution and drug addiction, and you're fucking hoping that HIS HUSBAND, the only person in the world that he has to rely on right now, will choose YOU? What are you, a moron? Fucking straight your feelings out, Touma! Forget about Uesugi Eiri! Forget about him..._

As he hurriedly stepped out of the main hospital doors he had to steer clear of a group of German tourists that passed on the sidewalk. They looked lost. But in doing so he completely overlooked another pedestrian that came from the other direction and unintentionally backed into him.

Acting on instinct rather than logic, he bowed courteously (the Asian way) and said, "Gomen-nasai, mimasen deshita." (_I'm sorry, I didn't see you_.)

"Iie (_Don't mention it_)," the stranger said with a pleasant smile, and bowed too.

Touma was so taken aback that he unconsciously blocked the man's way. "Anata wa Nihon no kata desu ka?" (_You're Japanese?_) he wondered, stunned.

"Hai, even though I've lived in America for three years I'm still Japanese," the man replied with the same pleasant tone of voice as before. He seemed to be in his late twenties, wore jeans and a brown corduroy jacket, and had a couple of sunglasses poised atop his head. His black hair had been dyed an orange-tinted brown; he wore it semi-long, so it just reached his earlobes. "Have you come to America to visit some relatives of yours, sir?"

Touma did not know what to answer. "Um... well, yeah, I guess... sort of, yeah. Uh, and you?"

He hated himself for being so impolite, but his brain did not seem to work properly around this guy.

"Me?" the stranger said and laughed heartily. "No, no, I'm not here to visit anyone. Actually, I just got back from LA a week ago. Tried to get into the movie business, but obviously my accent was a big no-no, so I came back to New York to have a try at Broadway instead." He gazed up and down the street and shifted his feet impatiently. "Um, are we going in the same direction?" he wondered.

Touma shrugged. "I'm not going anywhere in particular – just needed a walk. I guess I could go the same way as you... Some company might do me good right now." He glanced back at the hospital doors with a vacant expression.

The stranger followed his gaze. "You got someone you know in there?"

"Yeah. He's... he's recuperating."

"Bad disease or something?"

"Yeah, something."

"I understand how you must be feeling right now, sir. Well, if you need to clear your head a bit a walk might do you good. I'm heading back to my apartment, but that's about ten blocks away. You can walk me if you want to."

Touma only hesitated for a second. "All right," he said, and offered the stranger his hand. "I'm Seguchi Touma."

"Nakano Yuji. Pleased to meet you, Seguchi-san."

Touma almost stumbled over his own feet. "Excuse me, did you just say your name was Nakano?"

"Uh-huh. What of it?"

"You don't happen to be related to Nakano Hiroshi, do you?"

"Yeah, that's my little brother."

What were the odds?

"What? You know him?" Nakano asked, somewhat astonished.

Touma could not help but laugh at it all. "Yes, I'm his boss."

Now it was Nakano-san's turn to almost stumble over his own feet. "_You're_ the shacho of N-G Productions?" he stated in mild disbelief. "That's fucking amazing! Oh, excuse my foul language, Seguchi-san, you just caught me by surprise. Can you imagine me running into my little brother's boss in New York of all places? What a paradox!"

"Yes, I was just thinking the same thing about running into you like this," Touma told him. "But please, call me Touma. I've tired with all the titles and pleasantries. In a sense I'm glad to be back in New York... Here I'm not 'shacho' – I'm Touma. Back in Japan I'm 'shacho' to everyone but two people."

Nakano barked out a loud, boisterous laughter. "I'm guessing Hiro's not one of them," he stated with amusement.

They turned the corner ahead and started up another street. They kept a steady pace, moving along on the sidewalk only a foot apart, their gazes fixed on a spot far from the noisy street in front of them. The cool night air was doing the president good; he was beginning to feel lighter at heart. And he was happy to have found someone to talk to without having to explain himself. Someone who was a stranger and would not judge him for his past actions.

Someone who did not know about Eiri-kun and the emotions that were hidden deep inside Touma's heart.

Touma laughed, too. "No, he certainly is not. He probably sees me as a stiff, cold-hearted man who only cares about what's best for his company, just like everyone else seems to do. And what is worse is... they're probably right. I _have_ been kind of indifferent and narrow-minded, but it was all in the best interest of the person I cared about. I never meant any harm, never wanted to destroy anything, so I kept everything inside, you know. I regret that now, of course."

They walked in silence for a while until they finally came to a stop outside an apartment building. The president glanced up at the dark windows and felt his heart sinking again. Soon he would have to say goodbye to Nakano, and that meant walking back to the hospital. He still was not ready to face Eiri-kun, but he could not just wander around New York at this late hour; eventually he would get mugged and/or killed.

Nakano shifted his feet with impatience and cast a glance up at the building, too. "Well... this is me," he said, and looked somewhat pondering.

A sad smile broke through Touma's defenses. "Un... (_Yeah_...)"

Then, all of a sudden, the other man lit up like a torch and slapped his hand down on the shacho's shoulder in a friendly manner. "Hey, you wanna come up for a cup of sake? I just bought some yesterday and it would be a shame to drink it alone. Such a good brand..."

Touma blinked at him in bafflement. This man actually wanted him to come up with him? Never before in his life had he been invited to somebody's apartment so quickly. No one had ever bothered trying to invite him in because of his external indifference; most people seemed to believe that he was uninterested in social acquaintances. Therefore he could not quite find any reply to Nakano.

The younger man studied him with enigmatic eyes. "You really don't want to go back to that hospital, do you?" he stated clear-sightedly.

The president nodded.

Nakano put his arm around Touma's shoulders and began to lead him up the stairs to the front door of the building. "Don't worry, pal, you won't have to. Just come inside with me and have a cup of sake, relax for a while, and then decide whether you want to return to the hospital and see your friend or not. It'll be alright. Your friend will understand, trust me."

The apartment was rather small, but cosy. It had a sparsely furnitured living room, one bedroom and a small kitchen. But even though it was evident that Nakano-san did not have much money you could really tell that he was a happy man, living the kind of life that every human being should be living. Touma actually envied him and wished that he could be as carefree and light at heart.

Nakano invited him into the kitchen, where he collected a bottle of fine sake from one of the cabinets and almost magically conjured up two cups. Touma laughed as he sat down opposite Nakano at the table, slowly shaking his head at the scene.

It felt weird to be in someone else's abode like that, but strangely comfortable as well. Even though he did not know Hiroshi's brother at all, he felt surprisingly calm and at peace in his company. The only other person who had ever made him feel like that was Eiri-kun (when in one of his better moods), and that confused him. What did it mean?

Nakano poured them generous cups and put the bottle down on the table with a _thud_. "Touma, I don't mean to pry, but... This person you were talking about... this person that you cared about and wished to protect... is he the guy you visited at the hospital?" he asked cautiously, not looking at the president as he did so out of fear that it might offend him.

Touma laughed bitterly. "Oh, no, that's his husband," he explained, and for the first time realized that he was resentful toward Shuichi. That shocked him. He had told Eiri-kun that he loved Shuichi as a son, and that was true, but at the same time he resented him for being with the novelist. The kid obstructed his imaginary future with Eiri.

_Oh, my God, I'm an awful person_, he thought miserably.

Then he realized what their recent exchange of words had meant. He looked up at Nakano with bafflement. "How did you know it was a man? Am I really that obvious?"

His host burst out laughing. "Yeah, you are! I mean, look at the way you dress, man! That coat is just too much... ha, ha, ha, ha..." When he had calmed down, he smiled pleasantly and put his hand on Touma's. "But that's okay, pal. I have my fancies, too."

At first the president just blinked stupidly at him, the words just would not sink in, but then he relaxed and smiled back. "Arigatou, Nakano-kun."

The other man shook his head. "No, call me Yuji. _That's _my name. Now, what do you say we make a toast to our new budding friendship, Touma?"

One toast became two, and two became many; soon they had emptied the bottle and opened a second one. Apparently Yuji had a liking for really strong sake, because they were soon slurring and declaring their deep friendship to each other even though the bottles were really small.

Halfway into the second bottle, Touma told him about his troublesome, unrequited love for Eiri. It was the first time that he had spoken his heart on the matter, the first time ever that he confessed _everything_. He also spoke of the pain it gave him to watch Eiri be reunited with his husband after mourning his death for eight months. Once he had opened up, he felt somewhat better and more at ease with himself.

Yuji squeezed his hand compassionately. "I'm zorry, Touma, I really am, I can't imagine how you muzt feel right now... it muzt be awful for you... Do you need more sssake?"

"Give me," Touma ordered and held up his small cup.

Since he could not hold his hand still most of the booze ended up on the table, but that did not stop him. He held up his free hand and said, "Izz okay, I got it." And so he bent over the table and began to lick up the liquid.

When Yuji had just opened their third bottle (or at least Touma thought it was the third), he decided that he was ready to go back to the hospital and pushed the chair back from the table. "I'm outta here, I'm 'onna show him I'm a man... hiccup... and that I don't care anymore. He can... he can have his husband and... you know... whatever..."

But when he rose to get up he completely lost his balance and fell down to the floor. Puzzled, he gazed around at his surroundings, sitting with his back to the wall, and could not for his life understand how he had wound up down there.

At the table, Yuji was laughing violently at him, his finger unsteadily pointed at him. "Touma, you're fucking hilarious!" he exclaimed, and then he passed out.

He looked so funny that the president started to laugh, too. "No, _you're_ hilarious, Yuji!" he protested. The next moment he felt sick. _Really_ sick. Scrambling up to his feet, he put his hand over his mouth. "Uuugghhh, I'm 'onna puke..."


	52. Letting go, finally letting go

**Letting go, finally letting go**

¤¤¤16 HOURS RUNNING¤¤¤

Ryuichi put the phone down, a puzzled expression on his face. _That's weird_, he thought, _Touma always answers his phone. Is he still sleeping?_

He glanced up at the clock anew. No, it was already 3 PM, he could not still be sleeping. And Ryu had tried both his suite and his cell phone.

Shrugging, he went back to the kitchen area, where Suguru was making tea, and took a seat at the table. Watching his beautiful, slender koibito (_lover_), he silently counted his blessings. And Fuji had such a nice ass...

"Hey, wanna go see Shuichi at the hospital after tea?" he asked him without lifting his gaze from the younger man's slacks. _Or maybe after a game of wrestling_...

The keyboardist did not immediately reply. "You go, I have no business there," he said after a while, still with his back to Ryu. He poured them a cup each and came to the table. Sitting down opposite Ryu, he added, "I'm happy for you all that you have your friend back, but he's really only a co-worker to me. I don't care for him much. I think I'll just stay here and kick back for a while, I'm still kind of exhausted after the long flight."

The singer nodded silently. He watched Suguru's fine fingers as he held the tea cup with both hands and slowly brought it to his mouth. So beautiful. "Ore no yubi... (_My fingers_...)"

He still could not believe it. The scam with Tatsuha-san had not seemed to work at all, so he had pretty much been prepared to spend the rest of his life with young Mr Uesugi, so when Suguru actually confessed to his love for him... he was shocked. It all seemed so surreal. Fujisaki Suguru was _his_! _His_ boyfriend, _his_ lover, _his_ partner in life...!

It was unbelievable, and Ryuichi could not put into words just how grateful he was.

Suguru stared at him suspiciously. "What?" he wondered.

Ryuichi actually blushed. "Nothing, really... I was just thinking how lucky I am to be with you, and... and that those beautiful fingers on your hands actually belong to me now," he admitted somewhat embarrassedly, and tried to hide his face behind the tea cup.

Suguru threw a balled-up paper napkin at him. "Freak," he said. "I don't belong to anyone, I'm not a possession." He sipped at his tea in silence for a while. Then his lips cracked into a shy smile. "I'm the one who's lucky, Ryu."

Ryuichi's heart skipped a beat. He knew how difficult it was for Suguru to show his true, innermost feelings, so it meant a lot to him to hear those words so bluntly spoken. It made him want to hug him, kiss him, dance around the suite with him! But he restrained himself. The young man needed to do things at his own pace. He would come around eventually.

It was awkward for him to share a bed with Ryu, that had been easy to tell, and their first night together he had stubbornly stayed on his side of the bed with his back firmly turned to Ryu all throughout the night. In the morning he had got up without waking the singer, showered alone and eaten alone. At first it had hurt Ryuichi's feelings, but eventually he began to understand that Suguru was very unused to love and to being loved. And the singer actually had a vague memory of a conversation he had had with Touma a couple years back...

The president had told him that his cousin was an orphan, that his parents had died tragically when he was only fourteen, and that he had had to take care of himself from then on. He had a distinct feeling that Touma also had said something about "loveless relationship" when he spoke of Suguru's parents. And since they had not been able to love each other, they had not been able to love their son either. He had been but a brick in their shady game to hurt each other, stuck in the middle.

The second night, last night, Ryuichi had not tried to encourage Suguru to come closer, but let him remain on his side of the bed, and with his back to the boy he had talked about his childhood. How it had been to grow up in Tokyo with only one parent – his abusive father – and how he had finally found some peace of mind when he met Touma in high school. Eventually he had felt hesitating hands reach out to him, and only a moment later the younger man had put his arms around him.

It had only lasted for thirty minutes, but Ryuichi had treasured those thirty minutes as if they had been an eternity.

"I'll stay here, too, then," he now told the keyboardist as they finished their tea.

Suguru studied him for a quiet minute. "Really? But I thought you wanted to go see Shindou-san," he objected faintly, trying his best to hide how happy he was that Ryu was staying.

Ryuichi boldly took his koibito's hand in his and caressed the slender fingers. "Yes, I would much rather spend the afternoon with you than go to a hospital," he assured him tenderly. "Shuichi will be released shortly, I am sure. He's my best friend after Touma, but you are the love of my life. It's not so hard to choose, anata."

The keyboardist actually laughed at his choice of nickname. Setting his tea cup aside, he nodded at the door. "Wanna go to the bedroom, kareshi-san?"

Butterflies were flying all around inside his stomach as they slowly undressed each other, and when Suguru touched him he felt like the happiest man on earth. Before their argument at the airport, before the kouhai confessed to his love, his touch had always been rough, selfish; the only thing he had cared about was the sex and his own satisfaction. Now his touch was loving, caressing, soft... He took his time, exploring Ryu's body with the tips of his fingers as if he had never seen it before, never felt it.

The kisses they shared were nothing like the scarce kisses Suguru had allowed when they had been sneaking around at N-G. Those kisses had been violent, desperate, and brief; the kisses they now shared were passionate, yes, but a different kind of passionate. They were sensual, tender, and lasted for wonderful eternities. Ryuichi thought he had gone to heaven when he heard his koibito breathe heavily right by his ear.

It must have been the first time ever that Suguru allowed himself to let go and show his innermost feelings to somebody else, and the singer was immensely grateful for that confidence. He took great care in treating the younger man like a prince to prove to him that he could be trusted. Now and then he murmured loving words and honest promises to make Suguru more comfortable with opening up like that.

"I'll be with you forever, and I'll treasure you. I will never hurt you."

Suguru gasped and arched his back beneath him. His mouth was open in a silent cry, his eyes closed and his semi-long eyelashes fluttering.

Ryuichi bent down and kissed his lover's collarbone.

Suguru surprised him by burying his fingers in his tousled, damp hair. "Ryu... sweet Ryu... I... I..."

"Sssch," he hushed. "You don't need to say it. I already know, anata."

The younger man opened his eyes and looked straight at him. Although those deep, brown eyes betrayed such hesitation and such strong fear, he still said, "No, I _need_ to say this, Ryuichi. I... I love you and I want to be with you – forever. I trust you, and I believe you. If anything happens to me... will you do for me what Yuki-san has done for Shindou-san?"

Ryuichi started. "Of course I will, silly," he assured him, and kissed his collarbone anew, then his neck, his chin, and the corner of his mouth. "Always."

"Always," Suguru agreed, and let go of his last inhibitions.

With all those promises made, it was as if Ryuichi got a whole new boyfriend. Gone was his air of indifference and his arrogant condescendence; Fujisaki Suguru became an open, smiling, cuddly person who was very pleasant to be with. He joked and teased, pretty much like Ryu himself always did, and he spoke his heart without fear of being judged or refused.

But there were still things that he did not wish to talk about, and later that evening Ryuichi got it confirmed that the young keyboardist was holding a great deal back. Once again trying to get hold of Touma, he sat in the living room dialing and re-dialing the shacho's cell number to no avail. He almost started to worry that something had happened to Touma. It was not like him to ignore a phone call like that, he was always ready to please everyone else.

What if Aizawa had...?

No, he could not think like that, it was bad karma. Instead he put the receiver down and rose from the couch with the intention of going out to the kitchen. Passing the bathroom, a strange sound caught his attention.

It sounded like sobbing, and it came from within the bathroom.

Furrowing his brow, he stopped outside the door. Pressed his ear against it. And there it was again. "Suguru?" he called softly.

The sobbing stopped abruptly.

He tried the knob; the door was unlocked. Not sure whether he should go in there and offer his comfort or leave the kid alone he hesitated for a few seconds. Then he decided to listen to his instincts and entered the bathroom.

Suguru was sitting in a corner of the room, his legs drawn up to his chin, his arms locked around his ankles, crying violently. His cute little face was red and wet with tears, and he looked so small...

Ryuichi hurried over to him and knelt by his side. "Anata, what's wrong?" he wondered with concern and took him in his arms. "Why are you crying?"

Suguru instantly clasped his arms around Ryu's back and pressed himself closer into the embrace. Sniveling loudly, he managed to say, "I'm just so glad they found him."

That statement threw Ryu into a state of utter shock. It was so unexpected, so honest... so not Fuji. Yet it was incredibly sweet of him to be concerned about his fellow band member when he claimed not to care one bit about his well-being. Holding his little koibito tighter, he whispered, "I knew you were afraid for him. I'm glad you finally allowed yourself to feel everything you've bottled up these eight months, honey. And I'm proud of you."

Sobbing ever louder, Suguru rested his head against Ryu's shoulder. "I was so scared... I was so scared when they told us he'd been kidnapped," he peeped in a small voice. "And when you called and told me he was dead..."

Ryuichi reassuringly stroked his black hair. Kissed the crown of his head. "I didn't know you felt so strongly about him, Suguru-kun," he said with compassion.

Fuji lifted up his head somewhat so he could meet Ryu's gaze. "I was so mean to him, Ryuichi. I said all sorts of mean things to him, but he never resented me for it. He just dismissed it, and he tried so hard to be my friend... but I wouldn't let him. Yet... no matter how much I told myself to dislike him, I couldn't. He's the most annoying person I know, but I do like him. He _is _a friend of mine. And when I thought he was dead... I felt so bad. What kind of awful person was I? I pretended to hate him while he was alive, and I couldn't even admit that I liked him when he was dead."

Ryuichi held him for a long while, listened to him as he lightened his emotional burden, and whispered reassuring words in his ear. Eventually the tears subsided.

At nine thirty the phone rang. Thinking that it must finally be Touma calling back, Ryuichi ran to the telephone in a sort of happy panic. But he put it on the speaker phone so Suguru could hear too. He did not want them to keep any secrets from each other.

But it was not Touma – it was Yuki.

"Shuichi just came out of detox," he said, and he sounded immensely relieved. "He's exhausted, but he's fine. He's just fine. The doctor wants to keep him for the night for observation, but he'll be released in the morning. So prepare a huge welcome back party for him, alright? See you soon."

For a minute they just sat there looking at each other.

Then they both laughed with relief.

* * *

**A/N:** I will try and get more chapters finished for tomorrow, but we'll see... I have so many good ideas right now, and quite a lot of enthusiasm/inspiration, so you can expect a whole lot more in short. ;)


	53. Homecoming

**A/N:** Ohayou gozaimasu (_Good morning_) everybody! I am sooo, sooo sorry it has taken me so long to update - but here is a new chapter! (At last. _gaku_) Since I have whiplash I can't always write when or as much as I would like, I get horrible headaches and so on, but now I'm starting to feel better again. :) From now on I will try my best to update at least once a week, because I know how unbearable it must be for you all to wait for the next chapter. (_he he_)

So from now on I will update once a weekend. But if I should get a chapter ready sooner than that I will of course publish before the weekend. No probs. (And sorry this particular chapter is so dull! There will be more suspense in the next one, promise!)

* * *

**Homecoming**

¤¤¤37 HOURS RUNNING¤¤¤

There was no one around, so Yuki felt it safe to kiss his husband once he was allowed into the private room to see him. "Shujin..." (_Husband_...) Shuichi was just waking up, and his eyelids fluttered somewhat as he tried to peer up at the novelist. It took him a few minutes to focus his gaze. Then an exhausted smile curled his lips. "Yuki... you came."

The novelist gave the sleepyhead's nose a squeeze. "Of course I did, baka (_moron_). Did you think I would just leave you here?"

Shu blushed. "I didn't know what to think, what with the nurses and the doctors all coming and going and I couldn't understand a word they were saying to me..."

He turned his face away in a vain attempt to hide the fact that he was ashamed of himself.

"Sou ka." (_That so_.) He got up and began to collect his husband's few possessions. "What do you say we get you released and get you out of this hell-hole?"

"Sounds like a suggestion I can't say no to," Shuichi muttered bitterly as the door to his private room opened and the nurse from the day before entered.

"¤¤Good afternoon,¤¤" she said with a pleasant smile and came to a stop at the vocalist's bedside.

He blinked up at her in bewilderment. "E? Nanda?" (_Huh? What?_)

Yuki demonstratively shook his head in resignation. "And they managed to make _you_ sing an entire song in almost flawless English? Yokatta ne! (_Good for_ _them!_)"

The vocalist immediately began to pout like a sourpuss. "Uruse yo. Baka janai." (_Shut up. I'm not an idiot._)

Yuki chuckled spitefully, but gave Shu-chan a look of utter and unconditional love that would erase all misunderstandings. It was so much fun to tease Shuichi – he always got so mad, and he _still_ didn't understand the jokes most of the time, not even after having them elaborately explained to him. Turning to the nurse, he said, "¤¤When is doctor come? I need get my husband released so I can take him home.¤¤"

A crease brought the young woman's eyebrows closer together as she frowned at him. "¤¤Excuse me? 'Husband'? Didn't you say he was your brother? Or did I misinterpret—¤¤"

Yuki started. "¤¤What? I say 'husband'? I mean brother. _Gomen-nasai_, my English not good. What with doctor? He come soon for releasal?¤¤"

Shuichi obviously noticed the new tension in him. Fuck, he thought, he's getting too damned good at reading me. "Eiri... daijoubu?" (_Eiri... are you all right?_)

"Hai," he replied swiftly to not worry his lover.

The nurse still seemed a bit uncertain and hesitant, but a few seconds later her features brightened with another beaming smile – so clearly flirting with Yuki that he almost broke into a nervous sweat – and she turned back towards the door. "¤¤I'll go get the doctor right now. Normally you have to wait an hour or so, but... I'm making an exception for you since you're so cute with your little brother.¤¤" She winked at him, and was gone.

Yuki swallowed hard. "Boy am I glad we're gonna be out of here soon, 'cause I don't know how much longer I could take that woman's flirty manner." He scratched his chin thoughtfully. "Funny thing is... not because I'm attracted to her and want to sleep with her – which was usually the case before I got involved with you, you know – but because she scares the shit out of me. I guess women don't have the same kind of power over me anymore."

Shuichi sat up in the bed and grabbed Yuki's arm. Pulling the novelist's hand up to his mouth, he murmured with his lips to his skin: "I sure hope no other _men_ make you feel that way, either."

Yuki smiled down at the tousle-haired vocalist. "Nope, no one but you, baka."

* * *

¤¤¤38 HOURS RUNNING¤¤¤

Touma awoke to a strange soundtrack that seemed vaguely familiar and which came with an unmistakable aching in his temples. His head felt as if it was twice its normal size and about to explode any minute. Moaning in pain, he tried to move to one side in the bed.

There was someone else lying beside him, and for a confused moment he thought he was back in Eiri's apartment during the days that he had comforted the novelist. When they all thought Shindou-san was dead. But when his eyes cleared a bit, so did his head. He was no longer in Eiri's apartment – they weren't even in Japan anymore – but in New York.

The person next to him was of course Yuji.

_Ohh... I think I had a little too much to drink last night..._, he thought, ashamed of himself. Carefully sitting up, he added, _Hope I didn't behave badly or anything. I'm not really used to drinking._

The other man stirred when Touma got out of the bed. Opened one eye and peered up at him. "Oh... good morning," he mumbled sleepily.

"Good morning," Touma replied with a cold smile. "Sleep well?"

"Hmm... yeah, I think so. Although I'm not sure... How did we end up here? We didn't get naked or anything, did we?"

Touma flinched. Almost immediately his chest began to ache and feel so tight that he almost could not breathe. "Gee, I sure hope not!" he said with a little too much force. "Did we? No, we didn't. We're still fully dressed, both of us, and bearing in mind that we were both quite tipsy last night..."

"Tipsy?" Yuji laughed out loud. "I would say that we were a _little bit more_ than tipsy, tomo! (_pal_)"

Touma lowered his gaze with embarrassment. "Yeah, guess so... Anyway, I should probably get going... Maybe the others are wondering where I am, and I wouldn't want to get them worried."

Yuji instantly rushed out of bed and grabbed his wrist to stop him from leaving. "No. Please stay just a little longer. I'm having so much fun with you, I haven't had this much fun in years! I would hate for you to leave now when we're finally getting to know each other. Please... just stay one more day."

Touma hesitated. His instinct was to decline and return to Eiri – he had been away from him for far too long already – but there was something about his new friend that made him reluctant to leave. He too was having fun, and he did like Yuji's company...

The smile on his lips broadened almost unnoticably, but became slightly more genuine. "Okay, I'll stay."

* * *

Even though the nurse had promised them a doctor would come to release Shuichi right away they still had to wait for more than an hour. It pissed him off, but he knew that he should not be angry with them. This was a hospital, and a hospital tended to have more than one patient at once. So when Dr. Green finally showed up, all stressed and preoccupied, Yuki forced himself to remain calm and speak in a low, friendly tone of voice. But on the inside he just wanted to punch the bastard and ask him what the hell took him so long.

When they finally were allowed to leave, the novelist set off at a quick pace towards the exit. After a while he noticed that Shuichi was not following. He turned back and tried his best not to yell and shout when he called to his husband. "Shuichi! Iku zo!" (_Shuichi! __Let's go now!_)

The vocalist, who was standing approximately fifteen feet further down the corridor looking lost and confused, glanced up at Yuki with an inquiring look in his tired eyes. But he did not move.

Impatiently shifting his feet, Yuki cast a glance at their surroundings. People were staring at them. This was not good. They could not draw too much attention to themselves or they would be in big trouble. _I need to get him out of here ASAP_, he thought.

He noticed that the young nurse from earlier was looking at him from the nurses' station. Feeling uncomfortable, he cleared his throat awkwardly and called anew: "Shuichi!"

This time the singer reacted and came shuffling up the corridor toward him. _Finally!_

The nurse was staring at him even more intensely now, and that disturbing frown was back on her forehead. Eventually he could not take her glare anymore. "¤¤What?¤¤" he asked unpleasantly, no longer giving a damn about being polite.

She shrugged and looked down. "¤¤Nothing. Just thought it was funny, that name you're calling him. Because, you know, two days ago when you had him admitted to detox you said his name was Shiro, not Shuichi. That makes me think maybe the rest you told me wasn't true, either...¤¤"

Yuki flinched. _Kuso._ (_Damn._) He had completely forgotten about Shu's cover name. What would he do now? Was it too late to save their asses, or would Aizawa find them?

"¤¤Er... excuse me, I not follow,¤¤" he said slowly, trying to deceive her into believing that he was a stupid tourist. Then it hit him. "¤¤'Shuichi' not name, it is Japanese for 'come here' or 'follow me'. He was not following, so...¤¤"

He saw that he was winning her back over. _Good._

"¤¤Oh, I see!¤¤" she beamed, and laughed. "¤¤You got me confused there for a minute. Guess I shouldn't try to interpret a language I know nothing about. My apologies, sir.¤¤"

"Iie. (_Don't worry about it._) ¤¤If I come back to New York, I call you,¤¤" he lied to definitely get her on their side in case Aizawa would ever come seeking them there.

She seemed pleased with the fake promise and bid them fairwell.

Shuichi bowed courteously and muttered an almost inaudible "Sayonara" when they passed her on their way to the glass doors. Outside the hospital, he took Yuki's hand in his. "I am so happy I finally get to leave this fucking place," he said gloomily. "I thought I'd never come back to Japan... never knew I loved that country so much... But now I realize that I belong there and nowhere else. There's no other place in the world I'd ever wish to be. But I guess that's because _you're_ there, Yuki. It wouldn't really matter where I was as long as you were there with me. Although, right now Japan seems like some sort of paradise on earth..."

Yuki squeezed his hand encouragingly. "Ore mo aishiteru, Shu-chan no koto. Za, hoteru ni kaerimasen ka?" (_I love you too, Shu-chan. What do you say we go back to the hotel?_)

"Aa." (_Yeah_.)

The cab driver and the people in the hotel lobby looked at Shuichi's cuts and bruises and all seemed to agree that he was some sort of gang member and kept a distinct distance to him. Yuki would have liked to punch them all in their good-for-nothing faces, but he restrained himself and escorted his lover to the elevators.

Outside the suite reserved for him, Shu and Touma, he stopped and fumbled for the card key.

Shuichi squirmed restlessly. "I think I'm about to have another abstinence attack," he meowled pitifully and hugged himself.

Yuki put an arm around him.

He found the key.

"Don't worry, Shu. It'll all be alright. You'll soon have something else on your mind, trust me."

He opened the door with a loud _BANG!_ to announce their arrival to the people waiting in the gloom. With Shuichi on his left, he reached out his free hand and touched the light switch.

"_SURPRIIIIIIISE!_"

The young vocalist jumped back in fright before he realized that the people shouting were his friends from back home. When he recognized the small crowd, he exhaled in a deep sigh of relief and put a hand to his chest. "Damn, you scared me!" he accused them weakly. He looked around at the familiar faces. "What are you all doing here?"

A beaming, over-enthusiastic Ryuichi jumped out at them holding a huge homemade banner saying 'OKAERI NASAI SYUUITI-KUN!' (_Welcome home Shuichi-kun!_) He happily waved it in front of his kouhai's face, laughing his trademark childish laughter.

Yuki had to give him credit for even spelling Shu's name correctly. It was no secret that Ryuichi sucked at spelling. He'd never even bothered to learn how to write properly, but used only simple kana, and his handwriting was awful.

A tear glimmered in Shuichi's left eye. "You... you did all this for _me_, Sakuma-san?" he stuttered with emotion.

Ryuichi immediately became teary-eyed himself. "Of course I did, Shuichi! I am so glad you're alive! I was devastated when I thought you were dead!"

"Yeah, I can second that!" Fujisaki snorted, his arms crossed defiantly over his chest.

Shuichi gave Fujisaki a weird look. His exhausted eyes were red, and his eyelids looked as if they were extremely heavy to hold up. "Okaaay... good for you, Suguru." He thoughtfully fingered the banner. "You were worried about me, Sakuma-san?"

Ryuichi gave a squeal and threw his arms around Shuichi. He squeezed him hard against his body. "I was worried to death! When I heard that they had pronounced you dead... I just cried and cried, and Touma was almost heartbroken because I cried so much..."

Shuichi pulled away slightly so he could look his senpai in the eyes. "Stop it! Now you're gonna make me cry, too!"

"No, _you _stop it!" Ryuichi retorted. "Now you're gonna make _me_ cry!"

"You already _are_!"

"I know! Stop it!"

Yuki massaged his eyes and thought, _You will not explode, you will not explode, you will not explode... Calm down, breathe, calm down._

Behind the hugging two, Fujisaki was angry-red in the face and looked as if he was going through the same mantra as Yuki – or at least something very similar. It was amazing how the two of them managed to keep their feelings for each other hidden from everyone else; only this controlled display of jealousy broke through. Other than that, they seemed to be as indifferent to each other as usual. Ryuichi was as childish as ever... Fujisaki were as bitter as always...

"Look! You even learnt how to write my name in kanji! Oooh, Sakuma-saaan!"

"Oh, please..." Yuki begged, now massaging his poor, pulsating temples. Why did they always have to be so fucking annoying? Could not they just once behave like normal people?!

Shuichi cried out in happy surprise. "Hiro!"

He threw himself around the neck of his best friend, mercifully unaware of the pain in his body for a few euphoric minutes. It made Yuki smile, despite himself.

Hiro laughed and hugged the little champ. "Okaeri, Shuichi." (_Welcome home, Shuichi._)

A wonderful, happy smile curled the vocalist's lips. Yuki's heart skipped a beat. He looked so happy, so genuinely happy... Since Yuki found him in the street, Shuichi had not been smiling like that. Now he seemed to be satisfied with his situation; he seemed to be at peace with himself again.

"Tada ima (_Now I'm home_)," he said in a low, harmonious voice.

K stepped up to him and slapped him over the head.

The vocalist's bangs blew to the side from the strong wind that the manager created with his huge hand.

"That's my boy!" the big American exclaimed, and slapped poor Shu in the back several times.

"Er... um... thanks, I guess..."

Yuki went over to the manager. "May I speak with you in private?"

K met his eyes with a dark understanding, as if he already knew what Yuki was about to ask him. "Of course. We'll go up to the roof. The wind is blowing pretty hard out there, there is absolutely zero chance of anyone eavesdropping."

"Great."

As they made to leave, Shuichi grabbed the sleeve of Eiri's shirt and stopped him. "Wait just one minute. Please..." With an apologetic smile, he looked at all his friends, and there were tears in his eyes again. "During all those awful nights I always hoped that you would come for me. That you would find me. And you did. I can't even begin to tell you how grateful I am for that, or how happy you've made me by throwing me this 'Welcome Home'-party. But I'm afraid I'm way too tired to celebrate anything right now. I've..."

He fell silent and bit his tongue.

Yuki could tell that he was reluctant to tell them the truth about just what had happened to him just yet. To provide support for his lover, he put his arm around his slender shoulders.

_It's OK_, he thought, _you don't need to tell them. They'll understand._

Shuichi lowered his gaze and sighed deeply. "I'm sorry, I'm just too tired, that's all."

Sakuma sprang forward anew and took Shuichi's right hand in both of his. Patting it reassuringly, he said, "That doesn't matter, Shuichi. We can celebrate your homecoming any day – tomorrow, the day after tomorrow, the day _after_ the day after tomorrow... It's your call. We'll all be here for you when you need us, so don't worry, OK? We love you."

Shuichi snivelled. "I love you too, guys. Thank you."

Ryuichi gave his kouhai's hand a last squeeze. "Now go sleep."

Yuki began to direct Shuichi toward the bedroom, but the vocalist kicked against him violently. "No, no, no!"

The novelist stopped, stunned. "What's wrong?"

The others were watching them wide-eyed.

"I..."

_My God... he's shivering!_

"I don't want to be alone..."

Yuki flinched. That's why he was so reluctant to go to the bedroom? And of course he had all the right to be. Every time someone had brought him into a bedroom in the past eight months it had been to let some kinky and possibly violent guy use him.

He looked back at the others. Who did Shuichi trust enough to watch over him during his conversation with K? Because he _had_ to speak to the manager _now_...

"Hiro-kun? Will you sit with Shuichi until I'm back?"

The guitarist rose from his seat immediately. "Certainly." He took Shuichi under the arm and steered their way towards the huge bedroom. "Come on, Shuichi, I'll read you a bedtime story."

"Th-thanks, Hiro. I... I..."

"It's OK, you don't have to tell me. You decide when you're ready."

The vocalist nodded.

He looked so small, so vulnerable... Yuki just wanted to hold him, kiss the pain away, tell him that everything would be all right again. Everything would go back to normal again. As soon as they killed that bastard Aizawa... everything would go back to normal.

"Oi!" (_Hey_!) he called after Hiro, and when the guitarist turned around to look at him he said: "Arigatou." (_Thank you_.)

Hiro nodded.

Yuki signalled to K to come along with him and headed for the door. Only then did he realize that someone was missing. Frowning, he went out to the kitchen area.

Of course it was empty.

Then he went to the bathroom; also empty.

"Um... are you searching for something?" Fujisaki wondered carefully.

He suddenly felt anxious and giddery. "Where's Touma?"

Ryuichi started. "Oh! That's what I was going to ask you! Do you know where Touma's at? I've been trying to reach him since yesterday, but he turned off his phone..."

Yuki hit him over the head. "Idiot! I just asked you where Touma was!"

"Oh... right. I don't know. You think something happened to him?"

The novelist's hands began to shake with anger and fear. If anything had happened to his ani (_older brother_)...

"Oh, screw being careful!" he expelled in a spray of spit. "K-san! I want you to find Aizawa, and you better find him quick!"

K grinned mischievously. "Roger that. Just leave everything to me, I've got a few surprises up my sleeve..." He withdrew a .44 from his shoulder holster and spun it with skill in his hand. Then he left the suite.

* * *

¤¤¤40 HOURS RUNNING¤¤¤

No progress – absolutely no progress. They still had not located Shindou, so business had been down for almost two days and the customers were getting anxious... and angry. If they did not find the little shithead soon, Aizawa would be the one to pay.

In a fit of wrath he had left the flat at a dangerous pace – he had high blood pressure – to search for Shindou himself since his cronies obviously were incompetent dimwits.

_Always have to do everything myself, don't I?_ he thought irritably. _If you want something done, do it yourself, 'cos there ain't any stupid fucks unstupid enough to do it right!_

"Aizawa! Boss!" Ken was shouting after him, desperately trying to keep up with his furious pace. "Wait! There's no use running around like that! We have guys searching for Yuki Eiri at this very moment—"

He spun around toward them. "I know that! But have they found him yet? No! And have they found Shindou? No! Do you know how much money I've lost these past 40 hours?"

Ken backed away in fright. "Uh, n-no..."

"Two hundred thousand dollars, Ken! _That's_ how much I've lost! And can I _afford_ to lose that much money, Ken?"

"N-no, sir..."

"That's right. So if I don't wanna lose another seventy-five thousand in studio time tomorrow I better find him, right? Yeah, I thought so."

He swirled around to resume his angry stroll when something across the street caught his attention.

He stopped dead, his armpits suddenly bathing in sweat.

Ken and Maa almost collided with him.

"What is it?" Maa asked worriedly.

Aizawa could not speak, so he simply pointed at the sidewalk across the street. A certain person – a person he hated and feared – was currently playing some sort of game with another man, and they were both laughing. It disgusted him.

"_Seguchi Touma..._"

"What is _he_ doing here?" Maa wondered aloud.

Aizawa punched him in the face; he fell to the ground. "Idiot! What do you _think_ he's doing here? He's here together with that fuck Yuki to collect our product! Don't you see? With his connections... we're in deep shit."

Maa rose to his feet again. He did not mention the fact that he had just been punched to the ground, probably because he was afraid that Aizawa would do it again. With one glance across the street, he said: "But that's not Yuki. Who's that he's with? I've never seen him before."

"But he's definitely Japanese," Ken put in. "Maybe... an 'associate' of his?"

"Oh, you bet!" Aizawa spat. "He's come to down me again! He's come to finish what he started when he pushed me in front of that car! But I won't let him this time... This time _I_ will push _him_ in front of a fucking car! I'll kill the bastard, kill him slowly, torture him... yeah. But first I'll kill Shindou and that Yuki fag in front of him, make him suffer as his little fantasy lover dies right before his eyes!"

Without knowing it, Aizawa had taken small steps closer to the laughing man across the street, and when he reached the end of his cruel promise he was halfway out into the street.

He did not hear the car coming; he did not hear the honking horn.

"Aizawa!" Maa shouted.

He jerked and slowly turned around.

Two bright lights...

* * *

SYUUITI – That's actually how his name is spelled in Kunrei-siki (pronounced Kunrei-shiki), the official Japanese romazi (romaji) system. It is of course pronounced in the same way – Shuichi. But the name written out as 'Shuichi' is according to the Hepburn system, which is more frequently used by Western people since it makes it easier to see how the words are pronounced.


	54. The song that made Yuki cry

**A/N:** Yaaaayy! I actually managed to get a new chapter finished this weekend just like I promised! Yay me! Woohoo! Now it's just up to me to try and keep updating at least once every weekend... :P

Right now I am really trying to build this up towards a climax, but I suck at that so don't judge me too hard if it fails completely, alright? Thanks for being patient, my friends. Oyasumi. :)

* * *

**The song that made Yuki cry**

¤¤¤42 HOURS RUNNING¤¤¤

"Look! He's waking up!"

_Anxious voices all around him... bright lights stinging his smarting eyes... somebody checking his pulse on his wrist... everything a blur..._

"¤¤Mr. Aizawa? Mr. Aizawa, can you hear me?¤¤"

"Tatchi?"

When his eyes finally cleared he could see Maa-kun standing anxiously at his left side, Ken in the background, and a female blond nurse at the foot of the bed, a friendly smile on her lips. "¤¤Conny Cheewa,¤¤" she said, which made absolutely no sense to him.

"Koko wa... doko?" (_Where is... this place?_) he asked weakly, somewhat disoriented.

"¤¤You're at a hospital,¤¤" Ken informed him with his arms crossed over his chest.

"¤¤You got hit by a car, sir,¤¤" the nurse added, and her voice was soft and honey-like. Her face was angelic, and her body...

Aizawa had a hard time finding his voice for a moment. "Huh?" he managed.

"You got hit by a car," Ken explained in Japanese, thinking that he might not understand the nurse because she was speaking English.

"Again," Maa emphasized.

"Shut up!" Aizawa spat, suddenly back to his normal, aggressive self and feeling utterly fine. He started to raise himself into a sitting position.

The nurse was instantly at his side. "¤¤Maybe you should try to rest, sir...¤¤"

"¤¤Like Hell I will! I don't have time for this. Hand me my clothes, I'm getting out of here.¤¤"

She gave him an admonishing look but said nothing. She collected his garments from the chair by the door and handed them over to him. When he had gotten dressed he demanded her to show them out. "¤¤Sure. We can't keep you here against your will, but sir, you should really try to take it easy for a while. Your injuries aren't serious, but getting hit by cars _is_ a serious business.¤¤"

He glared at her murderously. "¤¤Thanks, I already have a mother.¤¤"

She flinched, but kept her dignity. Shrugging, she said, "¤¤Fine. Shuichi.¤¤" She began to walk away down the hall.

Aizawa grabbed her arm. An acute sense of desperation ached in his gut. "¤¤Excuse me? What did you call me?¤¤"

The nurse flinched anew. "¤¤Ow! Let go of me!¤¤" He did as she said but kept staring at her with intense eyes. Taking a step back from him, she said, "¤¤There was another Japanese gentleman here who got released today, his brother picked him up. There sure are a lot of Japanese people coming in nowadays. He said that 'shuichi' means 'follow me', so I... I'm sorry, sir, did I say something rude? Did he trick me?¤¤"

Aizawa suddenly felt weak-kneed and dizzy. "Koko ni itta..." (_They were here_...)

Ken immediately came up to him with a purposeful look in his dark, mean eyes. "Dou shiyou?" (_What should we do_?)

"Find him... bring him to me." Aizawa looked back up the corridor toward the room he had just left. If he had only gotten there a little earlier... he might have caught them. They had actually _been_ there! Just a while ago! "Ikiteru." (_Alive_.)

_He's with Yuki now_, he thought grimly, biting his lip as he mulled it over. _That means we need to find him **soon** or we'll have lost him for good._

* * *

¤¤¤47 HOURS RUNNING¤¤¤

Yuki exited the bedroom once night came and went up to the others, who were still sitting in the living room talking about everything that had happened and how happy they were to have Shuichi back in one (battered) piece. He rubbed his tired eyes as he stopped beside the armchair that Sakuma was sitting in. "Could one of you please go in there for a while? I need to eat something."

To their surprise Fujisaki rose at once. "Sure. Sit down and rest for a while, Yuki-san."

"Thank you. He wakes up now and then, and he's feverish and disoriented so he needs a friendly, familiar face to calm him."

"No problem." The boy went into the dark bedroom and closed the door behind himself.

Ryuichi got up from his armchair and urged Yuki to sit down in his stead. "Here, I'll go make some raamen for you."

"Raamen?" Yuki mumbled, furrowing his brow. Touma always made raamen for him when he came over. What if he never would again?

"Hai!" the singer said, beaming like a child, and gave him a friendly slap on the shoulder. "Touma taught me his secret recipe a long time ago, and I hear you _looove_ it..."

When he had eaten he felt much better. But he was still extremely tired. He glanced back at the closed bedroom door, longing to be with Shu again but feeling too exhausted to sit with him just yet... He felt guilty for even considering sleep at a time like this. But on the other hand, if he did not sleep he would not be of much help to Shuichi. And if Aizawa got wind of their whereabouts and they needed to move out fast he would stand no chance whatsoever if he hadn't slept.

"I can sit with him tonight," Ryuichi said as if he had read Yuki's mind. "Fuji and I can do it in shifts."

Yuki was just about to reply when the bedroom door opened and Fujisaki came out, a slightly worried look on his face. "He's acting weird," he said.

And once the door had come open they could hear Shuichi in there, tossing and turning in bed. "Ore wa... ore wa... iya... ore wa... iie, shinee... shinee... iya da... _I__YA DA_!" (_I... I... __no... I... no, I won't... I won't do it... no... NO!_)

Yuki stumbled up to his feet and almost fell over.

"No more... I won't do it anymore... no, let go of me! _LET GO OF ME!_" Shuichi shrieked like a small child. A loud thump came from the bedroom, then the sound of small items being flung around the room. By the time the vocalist stepped out of the darkness and into the lit living room everyone was staring in fright and bafflement.

Even Yuki. Sure, he knew what Shuichi had been through, knew about the drugs and the prostitution, but he had never seen him like this. His hair was on end, his eyes open wide in stark fear and desperation, his body shaking badly from the need of drugs. He was hugging himself as if he was freezing and speaking to himself. He did not appear to see any of them.

"Shuichi..." Ryuichi said carefully, "are you all right?"

"No, I won't do it anymore, I won't be your slave anymore Aizawa, I won't... I won't... _I won't_... I won't... please don't make me do it... _please_ don't make me do it..."

Tears fell down his flustered, bruised face. He looked so small...

Fujisaki had jumped out of the way when he came through the door shouting, and now he was standing three feet to the right of Shu, his face gone white.

"Shujin," Yuki said affectionately, taking slow, easy steps towards his lover. "Shujin, there's nothing to be afraid of here. You're safe. OK? Aizawa can't hurt you anymore. Do you understand?"

Shuichi was violently shaking his head in denial. "He'll get me," he said in a weak, pathetic voice. "He'll get me, I know he will. He won't give up. He'll get me."

"He will _not_ get you, Shuichi. I will kill him before he gets even _close_ to finding out where you are. That's a promise."

"He'll get me, he'll get me, he'll get me, he'll get me," Shuichi chanted and fell to the floor, too weak to stand up anymore. Kept hugging himself. Curled up in the fetal position. "He'll make them use me again. He'll make me take their money again. He'll... he'll make me addicted again."

Fujisaki looked up at Yuki. "Addicted?"

"What is he talking about?" Ryuichi wondered, he too looking at the novelist for guidance and an explanation. "Who used him? And how did they—"

He suddenly fell silent, and from the sudden fear in his eyes Yuki understood that he had put two and two together and reached a hideous conclusion. It was almost painful to watch the youthful, playful man change from innocently naïve to painfully clear-sighted in front of him. Ryuichi was supposed to be innocent and playful like a little boy; he wasn't supposed to be aware of the unfairness and innumerous dangers of the world. It was as if the last of his innocence had finally been washed away. The process had started when Shuichi disappeared and he let go of Kumagoro.

Fujisaki reached out to him, his eyes watering with pain. "Ryu..."

Hiro was the only one who did not say anything. He seemed too shocked to find any words to describe his feelings at that moment. He just stared at everything that was happening around him.

"I need... I need..." The vocalist was slowly, but purposefully, crawling over the floor towards the door as if he had every intention to leave. But that was all he could do; he shook too badly to stand. "I need... I _need_... need..."

"Shu, no." Yuki stood before him, cutting off his path.

The vocalist glared up at him with demonic black eyes, hatred radiating from his every pore. "Get out of my way, Yuki. You have no idea how I'm feeling right now, you have _no idea_ how painful this is to me. I need... I need the heroin to stabilize my—"

"No."

"Yuki, get out of the fucking way! Move or I'll fucking kill you!"

Ryuichi gasped and fell into the armchair that was standing behind him.

The abstinence was making Shuichi say things he didn't mean, Yuki knew that. He would never kill him, he would never even hit him. It was just his final attempt at forcing them all to back the hell off so he could run away and buy drugs.

"They... they made him a _junkie_?" Ryuichi breathed, sorrow in his voice and whole appearence.

"Yes," Yuki said truthfully.

"And Aizawa... made him a prostitute too?"

Yuki lowered his gaze as an invisible knife cut through his heart. "Yes."

"_Oh my God_..."

Shuichi must have realized that it was no use threatening Yuki; he would never budge anyway. Crying and moewling pitifully he backed away into the corner of the room and sat there hugging his legs. He rocked back and forth, repeating the words: "I must have them. I must have them. I must have them. I must have them. I must have them."

Ryuichi slid down onto the floor and slowly crawled towards the crying boy. Because right now he _was_ just a boy. "Shuichi... daisuki-na Shuichi-kun... Ano bakemono ga ore no daiji-na Shuichi-kun to nani wo shita? Nani wo shita?" (_Shuichi... beloved Shuichi-kun... What did those monsters do to my precious Shuichi-kun? What did they do?_) he whispered with emotion.

Sakuma embraced him and held him until he did not cry anymore. Held him until he calmed down and his abstinence had passed. All the while, Fujisaki watched them with tears silently streaming down his porcelain face. Hiro paced the room for a quarter of an hour or so, and then he left the suite. It was probably too much for him to take at the time being.

When Shuichi was ready to return to the bedroom Yuki wished to follow him and watch over him, make sure he slept, but Ryuichi would not let him. "Let Suguru sit with him. He can do it. You need to sleep, too, Yuki."

"But he needs me..."

"He needs you to be rested. Now, let Suguru take care of him, and I'll take care of you. That way you'll be rested when he wakes up in the morning, and you can spend some time with him. Okay?"

Yuki nodded.

He was so grateful to have them as his friends right then.

* * *

¤¤¤5 DAYS RUNNING¤¤¤

And that's how it was for a few days; Yuki spent every waking hour, minute and second together with Shuichi; spoke to him, listened to him whenever he needed to lighten his emotional burden, held him when he cried, held him down when he tried to flee or when he had his worst 'attacks'. And during the nights, when Yuki slept, Fujisaki watched over Shu while Ryuichi made sure that Yuki slept the entire night through. They slept during the day.

As the days went by the vocalist slowly calmed down, but he was a long way from his old self yet. Maybe he would never fully become himself anymore. What was most concerning was that Shuichi seemed to have no intention of ever rejoining Bad Luck.

"I never wanna sing again," he said on the night of the fourth day. "You can keep your position, Sakuma-san. Singing only reminds me of what Aizawa did to me nowadays."

They had all been shocked.

"But Shuichi! You can't just give up on the band now!" Hiro had objected. "Think of your fans! They'll be delighted to hear that you're back in Japan, and they'll get devastated when they hear you don't have any intention of singing again."

Shuichi had simply snorted sarcastically. "More devastated than the day I died?"

"But you're not dead – they'll get used to it."

"I don't care. Let them be devastated, then – what's it got to do with me? I have no obligation to strangers."

"Maybe that's true, but what about your obligation to me? To Fujisaki?"

"You've been doing fine without me for the past eight months – you'll do fine in the future as well. I bet you Sakuma-san's a way better vocal for Bad Luck than I ever was."

Ryuichi had gasped at that statement. "That is so not true, Shuichi! You were the best, much better than me! You kicked ass, and you _will_ kick ass again! Don't give up!"

But Shuichi had just shrugged and turned away from them.

It had made Yuki very anxious and frightened for his husband. If he was willing to give up on singing... the thing that he had always loved the most... then what else would he give up on?

The threat that Aizawa posed grew each hour that passed without anyone finding them. Since K had not reported back yet they had no idea of knowing whether Aizawa was on to them or not. Therefore they had to assume that he was still out there, looking for them.

He would never give up, just as Shuichi said.

The fact that Touma still had not returned concerned him. What had happened to Nii-chan? Had Aizawa found him, collected him? They tried to reach him once every thirty minutes, but his cell phone was still turned off. Yuki had even tried Touma's apartment in New York, but there was no answer there either.

Early in the morning on the fifth day, Ryuichi shook him awake, and there was something very urgent in his posture. Yuki instantly sat up, wide awake. "Is he here? Has he found us?" he queried worriedly.

Sakuma frowned. "What? Oh. No, no he's not here, everything's cool. But there's something you gotta hear."

Now Yuki frowned. "Hear? And what might that be?"

"Schhh..." The singer held his index finger in front of his lips. Then he nodded towards the bedroom.

Yuki looked over at the partially open door and listened carefully.

"Come on, Shindou-san, you know this one. '_Usa_—'"

"Shut up. I don't want to."

"Yeah, you do! Come on now! This is fun! You used to sing this all the time."

"But you always hated me for singing that song."

"No I didn't. Sing with me: '_Usagi oishii_—'"

"You hate that song!" Shuichi protested violently. "You always have! Don't try to fool me, I'm not stupid."

"I don't hate it. I love '_Furusato_'!"

"But... but you always got so mad every time I'd sing it..."

"That's because it was _you_ singing it, Shindou-san. But you've sort of grown on me."

"_Grown_ on you? You _hate_ me!"

"No, I don't."

Yuki glared at Ryuichi. "He doesn't?" he said sarcastically.

Fujisaki tried again. " '_Usagi oishii ka no yama..._' Shindou-san, won't you sing it with me? Please? It's no fun to sing all by myself, I'm not even good at it."

"You got _that_ right!"

Yuki chuckled.

Ryuichi hit him on the arm. "Hey!"

The novelist stuck out his tongue at him. _Wake me up in the middle of he night because of this..._

Beside him, Ryuichi was snivelling. "Listen! He's _singing_!"

Yuki hit him hard over the head. "Idiot! I don't wanna hear _your boyfriend_ sing! You woke me up for this? Baka..."

Ryuichi hit him right back. "Idiot! Didn't I tell you to hush the fuck up? Now _listen_!"

And Yuki listened.

And _marvelled._.

" '_Usagi oishii_...' Come on, Shindou-san, help me remember the rest of the song. '_Usagi oishii_...'"

And then there was a very low, very hesitant "... '_ka no yama_'..." in reply.

Two minutes later the two boys were singing 'Furusato' as loud as they could and _laughing_ as if nothing bad had ever happened to either of them.

A tear fell from Yuki's eye. He was singing. He was actually _singing_... his Shu was _singing_ again! Everything would be all right now, ha ha!

When Ryuichi saw the tears that slowly and silently streamed down the novelist's cheeks, he smiled. It had been worth it to wake him up. It didn't matter that it was four in the morning; Shuichi was singing, and that was all that mattered.

* * *

With five whole days passed since anyone last saw Touma – and still no answer when they tried to call him – Yuki had finally reached the point where he could not take it anymore. He had reached that point much sooner when it was Shuichi he had worried about and ultimately gone out to find. But five days – 123 hours – was more than enough.

"I'm going out to search for Touma," he told Ryuichi and Fujisaki, who had just woken up and come over to his and Shu's suite. (Hiro was out assisting K at the moment.) He buttoned his jacket.

"But New York's _huge_," Ryuichi objected. "How will you find him?"

Yuki stuck his feet in his shoes. "I don't care. I have to do something or I'll go crazy."

"You miss him, don't you?"

Yuki froze with his hand on the door knob. Turned around.

Shuichi was standing in the doorway to the bedroom, watching him with a strange indifference in his features. He looked almost spooky somehow.

"Er, yes... I do," he said a bit nervously. Why he was so nervous, he did not know.

Shuichi crossed his arms over his chest. "Do you love him?"

The novelist jerked so violently that he almost fell back against the door. "What?"

"Do you love him?" the vocalist repeated. "I've seen how you act whenever someone mentions him. You're really worried about him, and you keep walking back and forth through this suite, looking into every corner of every room as if expecting to find him there. What exactly happened between you two while I was away?"

His eyes bored into Yuki's, and the novelist's heart immediately began to ache with an all-too-familiar pain. "Shujin... I love no one but you in the sense that you mean. _You_ are the love of my life, and I wouldn't trade you for anyone or anything. I love my life with you. Even these past few days have been heaven for me, taking care of you... I wouldn't trade those days for a hundred years with anyone else. _Anyone_ else, Shu-chan. I love you. But... yes, I love Touma. As a brother. We've become quite close and he's been there for me all the time, something which I am incredibly grateful for. But I have no feelings for him, if that's what you mean. He's my ani, nothing else." He turned towards the door again. "Now, if you'll excuse me, I have to go out and search for him. He shouldn't be out there with Aizawa prowling the streets... Ryu, take care of Shu for me, please."

Ryuichi saluted him. "Hai, wakatta yo!" (_Roger that, sir_!)

Shuichi shrugged and returned to the bedroom with the intention of resting for another hour or so.

* * *

Once they were alone, Ryuichi found himself in need of some quality time with Fuji – badly. It was as if the younger man was suddenly glowing with sexual energy – he was totally irresistible. Ryu just could not keep his hands off him. He _needed_ him..!

Suguru giggled a little uncomfortably when the singer's hands searched their way inside his jumper. "Stop it! Baka, he can _hear_ us..."

Ryuichi traced Fujisaki's jawline with his lips, just lightly touching him. His heart skipped a beat when he felt a shiver of anticipation pass through Fuji. "No, he can't," he murmured close to his ear. "He's sleeping. You have no idea how soundly Shuichi sleeps."

Suguru gasped involuntarily. "Yeah, I do. He sleeps really soundly, but still... He's just in the other room, shouldn't we..?"

"No." Ryuichi shook his head. He captured Suguru's earlobe between his teeth, _very_ carefully.

Suguru stiffened. "Oh, God... I can't take it... Fuck you, Ryu, you're mean." He threw his arms around the singer and violently pressed his lips against his. A low moan escaped him as Ryu's hands moved beneath the fabric of his jumper.

Oh, it was so good to make out with him... how could he have been so lucky? To have this beautiful, sexy, tender young man fall for him? To be loved by this wonderful creature? Even if he only got to be forty he would be content because he had had Suguru in his life.

"I love you," he murmured in Fuji's mouth, teasing him with the tip of his tongue.

Suguru moaned again. "Oh, I love you too, even though you are a stupid, childish moron."

"Why, thank you." Ryuichi pushed him down on his back on the couch, completely letting his lust get the better of him. He began to pull Fuji's jumper up over his head, revealing his pale, hot skin. For a moment he lost himself in another world in which all he could do was play with the other man's nipples, but that was fine too. They were so hard, so small... like buttons.

Fuji wriggled beneath him, his eyes closed and his mouth emitting low sounds of pleasure. He loved it when Ryuichi played with his nipples.

Then for the button in his jeans...

A shout interrupted them. "Waaah! What the fuck are you doing?!"

They slid apart in fright. Shuichi had obviously woken up and caught them in the act, so to speak...

"How embarrassing..." Ryu said, blushing.

Fuji quickly covered his bare chest with his already-taken-off jumper.

The younger vocalist was pointing his finger at them accusatory. "What... what... what were you two doing just now?!"

Ryuichi had a hard time grasping what the actual question was, so he said: "Er... what do you mean?"

"Well, what were you two... I mean... of course I saw what you were doing, but... but _you_... with _Fujisaki_? What the hell is going on here?! I don't understand anything!"

Sakuma started. "Oh, Yuki didn't tell you? We're dating. We're a couple."

"You're... what?" Shuichi stared at them, perplexed. "A couple? For real?"

"Yeah. Fuji's my boyfriend."

"You have a _nickname_ for him?"

Ryuichi laughed. "You have the shock of your life seeing us together like this, and all you can think of is that I have a nickname for him?" he wondered.

After a while Shu laughed, as well. "Yeah, that was kind of weird, wasn't it? Well, then... omedetou." (_congratulations_)

* * *

Later that night, the missing part of their party returned. Finally. But to their utter surprise he was not alone. At his side was a young, Japanese gentleman dressed in a black leather jacket and worn blue jeans. He sort of reminded Yuki of someone... The two of them seemed perfectly happy together, joking with one another as if they were old pals from the army, and laughing _very_ loudly.

_And_ they were both drunk.

Yuki thought he would explode with anger. "Where the fuck have you _been_, ani? I have been worrying _sick_ because of you! Don't you think I have enough trouble to deal with as it is?! Do you _have_ to go and make it _worse_?"

Touma stopped dead and squinted at him. "Were you _worried_ about me, Eiri-kun? How flattering..." He could hardly stand up, the fucker. "Sorry I'm late, but Yuji and I had such a great time I completely lost track of time..." And with that he gave his new friend a knowing look, and they both giggled hysterically.

That only made Yuki even more furious!

Touma started. "Itoko!" he exclaimed, running over to Fujisaki, who only looked him up and down with displeased eyes.

"Are you drunk, cousin?" he wondered with dislike.

Touma made a proud pose. "You bet I am! And I have been for five days straight!" he said, as if that was an accomplishment. "You know, I think I've even developed a sort of immunity to sake, because I don't feel such a strong buzz anymore..."

Fujisaki coldly pushed him away. "Clearly you're way _beyond_ feeling a buzz, Seguchi-san," he stated with his nose wrinkled.

Ryuichi protectively put an arm around his shoulders.

Fujisaki pushed him away as well.

Touma chuckled. "Well, I see that you two haven't changed while I've been gone," he observed. "Now, where's our little Shindou-kun? I would like to wish him back... I mean, _welcome_ him back."

Yuki stopped him when he tried to push past him. "You're in no state to do so right now. It is best if you sleep it off first, or I will _make you_ sleep it off. You get what I'm saying, _a-n-i_?"

Touma bowed ceremoniously. "Hai, wakarimashita." (_Yes, I understand_.) When he straightened up again he wobbled as if he would fall to his feet, but amazingly enough he managed to keep his balance. "I booked another suite for me and Yuji so we won't be in your and Shindou's way. He got evicted from his apartment this morning... Apparently his neighbors don't appreciate two Japanese men who like to sit up and drink and talk all night long, ha ha."

"Who would?"

"Anyway... We'll be going now." They turned to leave.

"Er... Touma, aren't you forgetting something?" Yuki wondered.

The president turned back with an inquiring look in his eyes. "What?"

"To introduce us... ?"

He started. "Oh. Of course. I beg your pardon. This is Nakano Yuji, I met him outside the hospital where Shindou-san was staying. Apparently he's Hiro's older brother, so we'll be visiting him too before going to our own room." He made a wide gesture at the others. "And these people are my family. Eiri-kun... that's my cousin, Fujisaki Suguru, and his boyfriend - my best friend since high school - Sakuma Ryuichi. They're members of your brother's band. Well, good night to you."

"Oyasumi (_G'night_)," Yuki mumbled between clenched teeth.

* * *

¤¤¤6 DAYS RUNNING¤¤¤

K had been secretly watching the building in which Aizawa Taki was renting a flat for many days now, and finally his patient surveillance had paid off. He watched the three men enter and exit the building at approximately 1400 hours Zulu and was prepared to follow them to their next destination. When he got the opportunity, he would take them out – one by one. Orders were orders (he could hear Yuki's voice saying, _"Don't you **dare** to take matters into your own hands, K! I'm the one who's going to kill him, OK?"_) but K simply liked killing too much.

He loaded his gun.

"Target locked."

* * *

"Boss, they've found them. They tailed Seguchi all the way to their hotel. According to our guys there is a large Japanese party staying in four separate suites, and apparently N-G Pro is paying for the whole party."

A vicious smile distorted Aizawa's features. "Arigatou, Ken. You just made my day."

* * *

Conny Cheewa: the nurse's attempt to say "Konnichi wa".

The line _"Usagi oishii ka no yama..."_ is taken from the song "Furusato" that Shuichi sings in the tenth episode of "Gravitation" (the anime series) during the press conference. In the anime, they have translated it into "Remember that mountain where we chased rabbits?", and that is probably the meaning of the entire sentence. However, "Usagi oishii ka no yama" is not the entire sentence; directly translated it means "Hare delicious (ka no, which are particles that form an interrogative subordinate clause) mountain". So the chasing part probably comes after. ;)


	55. Hunting Season

**Hunting Season**

"Target locked," K said in his most military voice and raised his fully loaded, silencer-equipped, illegally fully-automatized, full-range infrared-vision UZI. His shoulders hunched; his entire being tensed in anticipation of The Moment. Hiro watched with a shiver. He sure did not want to meet K in a dark alley. Hell, he did not even know if he wanted to meet him in a conference room anymore! Who _was_ this person that Seguchi had appointed their manager? Well, even before that K had operated as Sakuma-san's manager in America. But the man was _crazy_! How could Seguchi ever _allow_ such a person to care for his signees!? No, wait a minute... Seguchi himself was crazy, so that line of reasoning was not even relevant, Hiro realized somewhat dazed.

His thoughts spun in all directions and made him dizzy - almost as if he was suffering from motion sickness. Then everything happened really fast. K held his beloved monster weapon close to his body, announced "Launch!", and fired off a _ratatatatatatata_ spray of bullets that flew in the direction of the hated ASK member. The first one hit a brick wall approximately one yard behind Aizawa, then K slowly moved the weapon in a bow with the intention of blowing out the man's brains. Unfortunately the sound of the brick wall being blown into blisters alerted the little rat of what was about to happen, and the cowardly bastard threw himself down onto the pavement before the spray of bullets could find his flesh. K swore under his breath. "Hiro, stay close behind me!" he ordered, and threw a handgun to his "partner".

Hiro just stared at the weapon in his hand. Was he really supposed to use this? Would he have the guts if it came down to that?

That was just about all he had time to think before K sprang up from his low position on the rooftop that they were currently occupying and jumped right out into the slightly cool air. Hiro cried out and ran to the edge of the roof, sure to set his eyes on a wet stain a long way down - all that would be left of K by then. But when he looked down he found that K had, somehow, from nowhere, pulled out a parachute and was now soaring gracefully down through the night air towards Aizawa and his cronies. As Hiro watched in awe, K pulled some kind of string and two extremely powerful rockets that Hiro had not before noticed, one placed to each side of K, flared up and shot him across the sky. When Aizawa and the others noticed this, they screamed (Hiro could not hear them since he was too far away from them, but he could see their faces turn into black holes as their mouths widened) and made to run for it.

"Oh, boy," he said to himself, "they'll never get away from _that_ one!"

Then he realized that he needed to find a way down from the roof as well, or else he'd lose sight of K in no time.

Since there was no other solution, he quickly turned on the spot and ran towards the door to the staircases.

* * *

K had them locked in view, all right, and they were running like shit but they would never get away from him in time, oh no, his rockets were way too fast for them. And they knew it, _oh_ they knew it! The fear was what nurtured him, the blood was what satisfied him, and the violence was what attracted him. Sure, his beautiful actress wife could attract him too, but she had nothing on the attraction and the power of violence! And the bloodier, the better!

He was now close enough to hear his prey scream, and he sucked in their fear like fresh air with his eyes closed in happy ecstasy. He savoured the taste of it and licked his lips in anticipation of more pain and fear. Then he opened his eyes to take a good look at his prey as he sprayed them with bullets from his beloved Uzi - his second wife.

They were gone.

K frowned and surveyed the area below him with surprise. "Where'd they go?"

He released the rocket-equipped parachute and hit the ground with a graceful _clack._ Then he stowed them away in the right back pocket of his dark gray jeans and began walking up the street, cool as ice and cruel as yakuza. A hideous, insane smile was playing on his lips. "Where aaaare yoouuu, little rats?" he called mockingly. "Come out, come out and pla-aaay!"

There was a vague rustle on his right.

* * *

Hiro panted violently as he ran down all the stairs in the building of which they had occupied the roof, hoping against hope that K would still be in sight when he reached the street, and that he would actually find some means to catch up with the manager. Or maybe he would be better off _not_ catching up with the sick bastard? Maybe he was better off not even _trying_ to catch up with him? K only meant trouble for everyone near him. _No_, he thought with determination, _I can't let Shuichi down. I have to help K catch those assholes that hurt Shuichi and make them pay for it. I have to make sure that K doesn't kill Aizawa before we can deliver him to Yuki-san. It is my obligation as Shuichi's best friend, and I will not budge or run away before I have kept my promise to him and Yuki-san!_

He ran on.

* * *

**A/N:** Hi guys! I'm back again! (Yaaaaaay!) I'm sorry this chapter is so short, especially after the excruciatingly long wait that you have all been through, but I will try my best to write more very soon and to make the next chapter a longer one. I want to thank you all for reading this story, for reviewing it, for making it one of your favorites, and of course for being so loyal to it. :D That makes me very happy, and the pleasure of having readers is what makes me write more. :) Without you this story would never have come this far - and it would certainly never become finished! But we have yet quite a ways left to go. ;) Thanks again! _Love, Piper_


	56. Shoot the Bastard!

**_Finally we're rolling again! XD Yeah! Let's take this story all the way!_**

* * *

**Shoot the bastard!**

¤¤¤ 3 HOURS FROM CONFRONTATION ¤¤¤

"Do you know how much trouble you've put me through by acting on this stupid, cowardly impulse of yours?" Yuki queried coldly, chain-smoking and drinking beer from the mini bar to quench his fear, that cold, hard ball of fucking fear that had plagued him ever since Touma "disappeared" six days ago.

"I am well aware of what I have done, Eiri-san," Touma informed him indifferently from the window, where he was standing with his hands behind his back, looking down at the street below. He was wearing his favorite hat, along with a green three-piece suit, white shirt, red scarf, white gloves and black ballroom shoes. Translation: He looked as queer as ever. But what angered Yuki the most was his aggravating air of utter indifference - as if he didn't care at all about the pain that he had caused his friends and employees. All he seemed to care about was that damn Nakano Yuji, who already had proven to be a dimwit stupid and ignorant enough to play in Shuichi's and Sakuma's league.

He poured down the last of the beer he was holding, then put the bottle down on the kitchen counter with a _bang!_ "And you are happy with your achievements, _Seguchi-san_?" he wondered, putting as much disgust and sarcasm into the name as he could muster.

Touma turned from the window and faced Yuki with a pleasant, cool smile and a glint of calculation in his deep green-brown eyes. "More than happy, actually," he assured, and his smile became warmer. "Yuji and I have had a wonderful time. I haven't laughed so much in my life. I wish our friendship will never end, for I will yet need countless fits of laughter in the future. Life as a shacho is not always a ball, Eiri-san." He walked around the couch, letting his hand slide along the soft fabric, very suggestively. He knew perfectly well how to use a situation to his advantage, but Yuki would have thought that he would at least be a _little_ afraid of him since he _was_ in love with him and loath to make him worry and all that. But no. There was no trace whatsoever of either regret or fright in the president's features. He seemed calm, content with himself - almost serene. It was actually a bit scary.

Yuki shivered involuntarily.

Touma kept walking, now rounding the armchair on the left of the couch and stepping down from the slightly elevated living room area on his way over to Yuki. His smile was growing scarier by the second, and he didn't stop. Kept coming until he was only a couple of feet from the novelist, who now felt a chunk of something in his throat and had to steel himself not to swallow hard and reveal his unnervedness. Touma stopped in front of him and traced Yuki's jawline with his glove-clad right hand. "Have you missed me, Eiri-san?"

Yuki forced himself to stare down at him with cold cruelty. He blew cigarette smoke into the president's pale, feminine porcelain doll face. "Not one bit, Seguchi, it has been heaven with you gone and now you have ruined my peace and quiet by coming back."

The moment he had finished his sentence there was a loud shriek and a half-dressed Shuichi came running out of the bedroom chased by a pirate-suit clad Ryuichi, brandishing a toy sword, his left eye covered by a piece of black cotton fabric. "You cannot run from Captain Blood Bunny! Arrrrrr!" he cried in a high, shrill voice that sounded all too much like himself to convince anyone he was a ferocious pirate from the sixteenth or seventeenth century.

Shuichi screamed in falsetto. "Is this any way to wake up a poor drug-addict from his beauty sleep about heroin syringes!? Leave me alone! Let me return to that Aizawa-free world of my dreams, I say let me retuuuurn!"

Yuki hid his face behind his hand in shame and resignation. Oh, when would they _stop?_

The corners of Touma's mouth were twitching. "Yes, I see that it has indeed been very _peaceful_ while I have been gone. I do apologize for bringing such an utter _calamity_ with me from my absence of a mere five days."

Yuki instantly glared up at him with wrath burning in his yellowish eyes. "Shut up. You sound like a fucking eighteenth-century British novel."

Touma curled a brow. "I didn't think you read such 'tripe', Eiri-san. But I thank you nonetheless for the compliment. Now, if you excuse me, I have a few phonecalls to make," he said and made for the door.

* * *

¤¤¤ 2 HOURS FROM CONFRONTATION ¤¤¤

The world seemed to spin because of their intense run for their lives, and it would not stop for many a minute. Suddenly the streets of New York had turned into a war zone taken out of some exaggerated anime movie and there were almost no safe places to go. But somehow they had got away from that crazed American. And now they were standing in an alleyway, their backs pressed back against the brick wall, their lungs desperately trying to keep up with their hearts' insane demands of oxygen.

"Did we lose him?" Ken asked with worry in his voice.

"I think we did," one of Rage's proteges said, cautiously peering out of the opening to the street. "But he can't be far away."

Aizawa let out a cry of indignated rage. "Find that bastard and shoot him!" he ordered them. "I proceed alone to the hotel and collect my prize."

Maa-kun gasped. "But boss! You can't go there alone! What if they catch you? Or worse, what if they kill you?"

Aizawa swung a punch at him. "You fool! Didn't you hear what I told you all yesterday? The Yakuza is onto me, and if I don't get the merchandise back before they find me I will be dead anyway!"

Maa screamed and quickly put his hand to his bleeding nose. It might be broken. "But boss... what will you do when you have Shindou?"

An ugly grin spread from mouth to eyes in Aizawa's face. "I'll kill everyone he holds dear, and then I'll deliver him to the Yakuza. That'll be punishment enough for him for running away from me, and the Yakuza will make sure that he... becomes of use."

Maa and Ken swallowed.

* * *

¤¤¤ 1 HOUR FROM CONFRONTATION ¤¤¤

"Indeed, how _did_ he take it, Mr. Seguchi?"

Yuji was standing in the middle of the room, greeting him in a very British nineteenth-century way, his back straight and his stomach somewhat put forward. He was really good at keeping up a game for display, and Touma could not for his life understand how this handsome gentleman could not get a job as an actor, even if he did have a clear Japanese accent. It was obvious that Hollywood to some extent needed Japanese speaking actors too - just take "Heroes" as an example! Why didn't they hire Yuji for that? He deserved a job, he was hard-working and serious about his acting; he was funny, kind, considerate, and very lovable. A man like him should have thousands of head hunters after him!

Touma smiled suggestively. "I daresay he took it with not so little bravery and false pride, what to prevent his astonishment and jealousy to shine through and... disgrace him," he replied in the same old-fashioned way while he walked around the room, surveying it.

"Ah. I see that we have a hesitant gentleman to deal with. Pray, was he jealous of your new acquaintance?"

He laughed. "Oh, yes, my good sir, I daresay he was."

Yuji walked up to him and lightly put his hand on Touma's arm. Caressed him a bit. "Good. Because he ought to be jealous."

Touma laughed a bit nervously. What was he doing?

Yuji let his hand gently slide up the other man's arm until it reached the shoulder, and from there he directed it towards Touma's face, where he lovingly caressed his cheek and jawline. He followed the other man's fingers with his eyes. "Yuji..." Touma said quietly. Yuji kept on, now tracing the president's hairline, carefully touching his short blond hair. "Yuji... nani shite n da yo? (_What are you doing?_)" He meant for it to be said with cold harshness, to make him back off and stop whatever he was playing at, but his words instead came out in a defeated whisper, and he didn't recognize his own voice. And Yuji did not stop. He played with the president's hair. A tiny smile surfacing on his lips. "Yuji? What... what is this?" He did not know what to think. He just stood there, frozen in his state of utter insecurity.

Yuji looked him straight into the eyes. "I love you, Touma. I told you, remember? I meant it, even though I said it in a sort of jocular manner. I really do love you. And if you can ever feel the slightest affection for me, I will be happy to wait for that moment to happen all my life, if so just to get a kiss from you."

Touma jerked. "What?" What had he just said?

"I love you. And I will always protect you, Touma. Always. When you guys go back to Tokyo, I'll come with you, because I want to spend all of my days with you - or at least in your vicinity. I never thought I'd go back to Japan... but now there really is nothing else that I would rather do. And don't worry... I won't impose myself on you. I'll give you your space. But if you one day discover that you reciprocate my feelings for you, you know I'll be there waiting for you. Now you know how I feel. Thanks for listening."

* * *

¤¤¤ 46 MINUTES FROM CONFRONTATION ¤¤¤

_Ka-tchak._

Rage actually stiffened in her chair at the sound that she surely recognized more than well. She was, after all, very fond of firearms just like him. Luckily she did not turn around.

He had realized that there was one thing he had to do to honor his promise to Shuichi, and in extension to Yuki Eiri as well. Aizawa Taki had taken refuge under Rage's wings, and she had given his band a record deal as well as the locale in which they had kept Shuichi hidden all these months. She had given the bastard what he had most needed: Protection. And that was going to end now.

He pressed the gun to the back of her head.

She did not speak.

"I should have done this a long time ago," K said, and was just about to fire his beloved gun.

A man stepped out of the shadows. One of Rage's body guards. He raised his own weapon and did not hesitate, but pulled the trigger immediately. "Sorry about that, Claude, but I can't let you hurt Rage-sama."

Unfortunately for him - fortunately for K - he had already pulled his finger so tight around the trigger that the gun went off, the very same second as the man's own, along with his words.

Two bodies fell to the ground, and a third man screamed.

* * *

¤¤¤ 20 MINUTES FROM CONFRONTATION ¤¤¤

"It's nice to make love to you, Ryu," Suguru said with a faint smile on his youthful, smooth and incredibly cute face. "I wish I could do that forever, and never do anything else."

Ryuichi played with his black, smooth hair for a while. Everything was so lovely smooth about him. Hair, skin, moves in bed... mmm, yummy. "Well, that's nice," he said, "but I don't think I'd last more than three days tops without food and water. Not to mention Kumagoro... ssshhhh, no, don't think I can do it, sorry."

Suguru laughed. "Kumagoro?" he wondered disbelievingly. "I thought you were long over that guy."

"I was. But now that I'm facing eternity with you I see that I was a bit hasty about that breakup."

The younger man hit him. "You bastard!" he laughed. "I'll shoot you for that! You're breaking my heart!"

Ryuichi grinned mischievously. "Oh, am I now?" he wondered, and attacked Fuji's stomach with tickling fingers.

The boy roared with laughter and squirmed in his arms. It made him so happy to see him laughing like that. All Ryuichi wanted was to make his young boyfriend happy, and as long as he managed that he himself would be happy.

"Hey, what do you say we go visit Shuichi?" he suggested and sat up expectantly.

Suguru sat up too. "We were just there two hours ago. Maybe he'd like to rest now and then, too."

Ryuichi made a sad face. "But I _wanna_ go see Shuichi! I wanna, wanna, _wanna_!" His arms were flailing about and tears were pouring from his face.

Back to his old self, huh? Suguru sighed and got out of bed. "Oh, all right. We'll go."

"Yaaaaaay! Suguru, you're the best!"

"Don't call me Suguru right now."

Ryuichi giggled girlishly. "Gomen-nasai, _anata,_" he said knowingly, and his eyes sparkled teasingly.

Suguru watched him thoughtfully. Sometimes it was really hard to read the ex-Grasper, as if he did not want other people to know too much about him and the mood he was in. Or was it his innermost feelings that he wished to hide? Whatever it was, Suguru made a promise to himself that day that he would find out what had hurt Ryuichi so much that he had to hide behind this childish mask to feel safe. "Um... I'm just gonna take a quick shower," he mumbled. "You go ahead and I'll catch up with you, OK?"

Ryuichi only hesitated a second. "Okay," he then said and smiled pleasantly. "See you in a few minutes, anata." He placed a kiss of purest affection on his young lover's forehead, then he grabbed his jacket and left.

Suguru snorted. Why bring his jacket if he was just going down the hall to Yuki and Shindou's suite?

Just as he was about to hit the showers, the phone on the nightstand rang. Maybe it was Ryuichi calling him to say to hurry up 'cause there was a game going on or something. But when he picked up the receiver and said "Hello?" the voice that replied was none that he recognized. "Is this Seguchi Touma's suite?" it asked.

"No," Suguru answered without thinking, "but it's on this floor. I'm his cousin. Can I take a message?"

The man laughed and made the hairs on Suguru's neck stand out. "No, that's all good. Thank you for this... very useful information, Fujisaki Suguru-kun." _Click._

Suguru stared at the receiver with furrowed brows. _What the Heck was that all about?_

Shrugging, he went into the shower and turned on the hot water. As he stood there he contemplated the short phone conversation and tried to make out what it had all meant. Some minutes later when he got out of the shower, though, after way too many moments in the almost-scorching water, something hit him.

_Oh no_, he thought, his heart steadily rising in his chest and then his throat, _I have to go tell the others!_

* * *

**_Gaah! Thank you so much for reading this! XD And thank you also for all reviews that have been submitted to this story! It all makes me very happy. I decided to leave our friends in a cliffhanger, so that you can all fabricate your own confrontations before I show you mine. ;) And about all the eighteenth-century, nineteenth-century talk... I just watched "Pride and Prejudice", the mini TV-series with Colin Firth in the lead role as Mr. Darcy, so my language has been slightly polluted by that very elegant English that they use in that series, hehe. It was lovely, and if you like Jane Austen and haven't seen it I can truly recommend it to you! I have also seen the new version with Keira Knightley as Elizabeth Bennet, and that movie is really great too! Hope you will all have a great weekend, and that you will all return to read the next chapter once it is published. Love, Piper_**


	57. Confrontation

**_Ready to confront Aizawa? I'm not, but let's go anyway! (draws deep breath to steel herself)_**

* * *

The corridor had never seemed this long before - it felt as if it was several miles to their suite! And his feet were not taking him there fast enough because they were shaking so bad he had to grab the wall several times to steady himself.

_It's my fault_, he thought in anguish, _it's my fault that he's found us. Oh my God, he's found us!_

Suddenly he felt his stomach turn and a hot wave of bile and vomit rushed up his throat. He had to double over not to throw up on the hotel's expensive Oriental wall-to-wall carpet. It took him some time to overpower the sick and straighten up, but as he did so he felt determined. _Aizawa isn't going to get Shindou-san - I will make sure of that! He's gonna have to go through me first._

An elevator _ping_ed.

He was there. Knocked on the door. Remembered that Ryuichi had left him the spare key to the suite and fumblingly pulled it out of his pants pocket and stuck it into the door. It opened before him, and there was no one in sight. _Where are they? Oh, fuck this!_

"Ryu! Yuki-san! He's coming! _He's coming!_"

"Too late, dickhead."

Everything went black.

* * *

**Confrontation**

"Sakuma-san! You came to visit me again!" Shuichi exclaimed happily and threw his arms around the ex-Grasper and gave him a tight hug. His laughter rang in the big room. It made Ryuichi laugh as well. "I'm glad that my coming here makes you so happy, Shuichi," he said honestly, and the smile that he gave the younger singer was filled with warmth and brotherly love. During these years that he had known the kid he had really come to love him. He was so much like Ryuichi himself, and oh so much fun to play with! He just wished that Suguru could have been just as good a playmate.

They sat in the living room area. Ryuichi watching Shuichi as he bickered with Yuki, and laughed at the scene more than once. That Shuichi was slowly coming back to his old self was both a relief and a great joy to the ex-Grasper - and novelist both. He had even begun to hum a little on his old hits, like _The Rage Beat_, Bad Luck's very first song as a signed band, and the prospect of him actually returning to the music scene in a near future seemed more and more likely for every day that passed. Everyone was making an effort to make Shuichi feel safe and loved, because they felt that it was the thing to do to encourage him to take up his singing again. "I mean, it's his passion," Yuki had said at one time, ponderingly chewing on his lower lip while staring down into the floor. "He can't give it up - he just can't. Can he? Because if he gives up music, the thing that he has loved most in his entire life... where will that leave me?"

They all knew what he meant. When Yuki had once given Shuichi an ultimatum to choose between his music and his lover, Shuichi had been unable to choose _because he loved both equally_. So if he was willing to give up on one of the two things he loved the most... then what about the other?

"I don't think you need to worry about that, Yuki," Ryuichi had assured him and put his hand on top of the novelist's to offer him his comfort. "Shuichi loves you more than a person should be able to love another. He'll never leave you. Not after you came back for him like this. I promise. He'll love you for eternity."

"I don't want this dick loving me for eternity anymore!" Yuki now screamed, desperately trying to pry the ruffle-haired boy off of him, glaring disgustedly at the dreamy, drooly face that was ever pressing closer. "Get him away from me!"

Shuichi stretched out his arms and flailed them about, trying to get a grip on Yuki. "Yuuuukiiiiiiiiiiii... !"

"GET THE HELL OFF OF ME, YOU FREAK!"

Yuki sprang up and fled towards the bedroom, obviously with the intention of locking himself in the room and not opening the door before the vocalist had calmed himself down a few notches. But he didn't make it all the way: Shuichi jumped him when he was a mere two feet from the door and flung his arms around the novelist's neck, desperately pressing his lips to Yuki's mouth. Ryuichi's chin dropped as the two men, suddenly completely oblivious to the fact that the ex-Grasper was still there, started to touch each other in sudden lust and one of Yuki's hands searched its way inside Shuichi's shirt while Shuichi fumblingly unbuttoned Yuki's pants. They bumped into the wall with an ear-shattering _THUMP_, Shuichi's hand finding its way inside the other man's underwear and eliciting what sounded awfully similar to a desperate, pleading _whining_ from the novelist.

Ryuichi, feeling very hot and uncomfortable and embarrassed, cleared his throat as loudly as he could, and said, "Um, I'll just go to the bathroom and... take a dump or something, hrm hrm. Call me when you're done, OK? Right..."

He got up and hurried out of their way, because he didn't really feel like watching his best friends doing it. He would much rather be able to look them in the eyes without blushing for the next five years.

Unsure of what to do he started to pace up and down the semi-small bathroom, singing old Grasper tunes to himself to block out any unwanted noises from the other two.

"You flee them too when they started?" a mellow voice suddenly asked him and made him jump high into the air.

Touma was sitting in the jaccuzzi, his legs drawn up to his chin and his favorite faux-fur coat on despite the heat in the suite. He was even wearing his favorite hat, looking like a lost little boy in the tub. Ryuichi blinked at him sheepishly. "What the Hell are you doing here?!" he asked in astonishment. He looked around quickly a few times. "And how did you get in?"

"I have my tricks," Touma said and shrugged.

He got up with a grace that actually made Ryuichi quite impressed. "It doesn't bother you?" he asked.

Touma raised his eyebrows in surprise. "No. Why would it?"

Ryuichi squirmed. "Well, you know... because you... love Yuki and all... you know."

The president laughed; an empty, spooky laughter. "No, I don't love him anymore. I had him for a short while when Shindou-san was out of the picture..." The chill of his monotonous voice made Ryuichi shiver uncomfortably. "... but now I'm over him," Touma finished, and gave him an ice cold look that said _One more word and I'll silence you forever_. "Itoko wa doko?" (_Where's my cousin?_)

Ryuichi gave a start. "Oh, yeah, Suguru... He said he'd come soon and told me to go on ahead. Maybe I should call and warn him to wait a little longer in case Shuichi and Yuki are still at it..." He plucked his cell phone out of his back pocket.

"Yeah, you probably should," Touma agreed soberly, "those things could damage a small boy for life."

Ryuichi gave him a wondering look. What the hell had happened to Touma? He seemed even weirder than usual... Was it that Yuji guy who influenced him in a bad way?

"Hmmm... no answer. He must've left already." He pocketed the cell phone anew.

Something big fell in the living room. Touma and Ryuichi exchanged a look of suspicion and slowly, quietly moved towards the door. The living room seemed to be deserted at first, so they slowly made their way down the short hall from the bathroom to see what had happened. When they gazed around the corner they saw Yuki standing by the kitchen island, an unlit cigarette in the corner of his mouth, his shirt unbuttoned and hanging loosely around his muscular upper body. Ryuichi frowned, wondering what he was doing there, but Touma already seemed to have grasped the situation, because he put a warning hand on Ryuichi's arm. Then he saw the boy lying unmoving on the floor just inside the open hotel room door. He couldn't help it; his body moved automatically at the sight of his loved one, even before he noticed the intruder that was standing over him. "_Suguruuu!_"

"Ryuichi, no!" Touma cried out and tried to grab him, but it was already too late. He had run halfway through the living room when Aizawa raised the gun he was holding in his right hand toward him, forcing him to stop. "One step closer and you all die," he warned, placing a foot on Suguru's back for emphasis.

Ryuichi began to shake uncontrollably. "Is he... is he...?"

"Dead? Nope, just knocked out cold, and if you do as I say I may leave it at that and let you all live, but if you try to play hero you'll all get bullets in your brains, and I think we all know that people can't live with bullets in their brains, hmm?"

Nobody disagreed with that.

"Now, give me back my merchandise," Aizawa continued and pressed the trigger slightly to show them that he meant business.

"We both know that I can't do that," Yuki said in a calm voice, his eyes never once wavering from Aizawa's, a cold determination on his face.

Aizawa's lips curled into a scary smile. "Then that's too bad," he said, and coldheartedly pointed the gun at Yuki's heart. "Say goodbye to your lover, _Yuki-san_..."

"_NO!_" Shuichi was suddenly standing behind Yuki, shaking like a leaf and sweating like a pig, his dark beautiful eyes plagued with pain. He put his arms around Yuki from behind, peering out at his old master from behind the novelist's strong left arm. "Don't kill him. Please don't kill him." His voice barely carried past the fabric in Yuki's shirt. "I'll come back, I'll keep working for you, I'll be your slave for the next 200 years, I'll do anything - just let Yuki live. Please."

It was apparent that Aizawa loved it when his old rival begged to him, because he immediately lightened his grip on the gun and relaxed a bit. "Subarashii," he said. "Just perfect." Then he reached out his hand in the direction of the tiny, frail vocalist. "Come then, Shuichi, you have many customers eagerly awaiting your return."

Shuichi whined miserably, but he didn't have a choice. He took a shaking step towards Aizawa.

Yuki grabbed his arm. "You don't need to do this, Shu," he said. "I promised you you'd never have to go back there, and I'm not gonna break that promise to you because I love you way too much for that. You hear me? Let me take him, I can take him. That little bastard is nothing against me. Plus, he's far outnumbered. One of us is bound to survive. You just focus on getting the hell out of here and leave the rest to us, OK?"

Tears were now falling down Shuichi's cheeks. "No," he said quietly, shaking his head. "I don't want to lose you, Yuki, I don't want... Just knowing you're out there will keep me going, and one day I'll come back to you. I'll come back to you." As he spoke he demonstratively took several steps toward Aizawa, boldly turning his back to the gunman to keep eyecontact with Yuki as he spoke. Even the novelist's eyes were watering now, and he was shaking his head too. "No, Shu. Don't say that. You're not gonna disappear on me again, not ever."

Shuichi laughed bitterly, in spite of everything. "And how are we gonna be together if you're dead, Yuki? Huh? Don't you see this is our only chance?" Four feet from Aizawa's grasp now. Four feet.

"Eiri," the novelist corrected him.

Shuichi blinked. "Huh?"

"My name is Eiri. Please don't call me Yuki anymore."

"Yuki..."

"I caused you so much pain because of my confusing feelings for Kitazawa-sensei," the novelist continued. "I should never have taken his name to begin with. It is time I let it all go, don't you think? Uesugi Eiri - that's my name. Right?"

Shuichi actually smiled through the tears. "Hai, Eiri."

And so he turned his back on the man that he had loved for so long now and took a deep breath to steel himself. Ready to be taken away by Aizawa, he took the final few steps.

Aizawa grabbed hold of his arm and pulled him further away from his family. A triumphant laughter came from deep in his throat. "Yatto! (_Finally!_) You're mine again, and this time you won't get away, you little louse! And neither will your friends..." He raised his gun anew and pressed down the trigger. Shuichi had no time to react, but could only watch as the bullet made its way almost in slow-motion through the air in search for Yuki's heart. He didn't even have time to cry out; the bullet hit its target, and something ruptured within the young singer.

The novelist's cry was far from what he had imagined it to be: He didn't at all sound as if he'd been hit by a gunshot and was now on the brink of dying - dead? When Shuichi dared to look again he saw that a red rose was spreading its petals on the shirt of Eiri's right shoulder. Perplexed, he looked down and found that Fujisaki had awoken and grabbed Aizawa's leg in an attempt to prevent him from succeeding in shooting Eiri. He looked dazed, but determined. "I'm not gonna let you get him," he said faintly. "Shindou-san is staying with us."

"Suguru!" Ryuichi cried out in gratitude and relief.

Touma was instantly at Eiri's side as he fell backwards and neatly caught the novelist in his arms. A haunted expression on his face, he took a good look at the wound, which Eiri was now clutching to stop the bleeding. "Eiri-san..." he said in a voice that said it all. After all the things that the poor man had had to go through in his life... When the president looked up at Aizawa, who was slightly shocked to find that his round had missed the chance to get rid of Yuki Eiri once and for all, it was with eyes so black with hatred that they seemed to elicit sparks of electricity. "You'll pay for this. I wish I hadn't been so soft on you that day - I should have killed you when I had the chance."

Ryuichi snorted. "Yeah, you're totally over him, aren't you?!" The situation was so bizarre that it brought out sarcasm in him.

Suddenly everything happened so quickly. Touma got up from the floor and charged at Aizawa, who wasn't prepared for such bold, careless behavior - Shuichi ran up to Eiri and threw himself into his arms, which caused a lot of screaming from the novelist - Aizawa fired his gun up into the ceiling as he struggled with the N-G president - Ryuichi slowly, carefully began to make his way towards Fujisaki with the intention of salvaging him from the battle ground before him - Shuichi ripped up Eiri's shirt to make a tourniquet - Touma was knocked into the kitchen island, and a set of sharp knifes fell to the floor; the wind was knocked out of Touma, and he involuntarily fell to the floor gasping for breath.

"That is _e-NOUGH!_" Aizawa shouted, beyond himself with wrath, and charged at the blond president, starting to kick him in his midriff. Touma, still gasping for breath, didn't put up any fight but simply took the kicks while semi-sitting, semi-lying back against the kitchen island.

"Touma!" Ryuichi shouted, and as the only man in there who was still unharmed he felt obliged to do something to better their situation.

Aizawa immediately saw him coming and raised his gun. "Oh no, you don't."

A cold knot formed in Suguru's stomach as he realized that Ryuichi was about to get shot. "No..." He was about to lose him! The only person that he had ever allowed himself to love was surely as anything slipping away from him that very second, and he did not like it one bit. He could not let it happen. So when Aizawa's arm slowly came up to chest level he desperately flung himself out in front of his boyfriend without even reflecting upon what he was doing. "_No!_"

_BANG!_

The bullet hit him in the upper left side of his chest, and for a split second everything seemed to stop, as if time was standing still. An expression of total bafflement could be seen on his face. Even though he had jumped in front of the bullet himself, he couldn't grasp that he had actually been hit - _because it didn't hurt anywhere_. Well, if this was all there was too it, maybe it wasn't so bad to be shot anyway. Maybe people exaggerated a bit when they said it was lifethreatening, 'cause this was no big deal! He wanted to tell the others that it was all right, it wasn't so bad, he couldn't feel a thing, and they need not worry about him. Everything was good.

"Suguru! Oh my God, _Suguru!_"

He could hear Ryuichi's words, but they sounded so strangely far away... as if he was standing on a cliff in a blizzard and was trying to convey something to Suguru on the beach below...

"Suguru!" Arms were clutching his body, and it was in that very moment that he became aware of how weak he actually was. He thought he had remained standing, but now he realized that he had actually fallen to the floor somehow without even feeling it himself. His body was completely limp. "Oh my God, no! No! Suguru, stay with me! _Stay with me goddammit!_"

"Why are you shouting?" he wanted to yell at Ryuichi - his shrill cries was giving him a headache - but no words would come out of his mouth, and slowly he understood that he was actually leaving in a sense, because he could feel himself drifting away, and it was not an all pleasant feeling. He _didn't want_ to drift away - he wanted to be with Ryu. And he wished he could have told him that, but he just felt so tired...

Something wet hit his cheek, and he slowly realized that Ryuichi was crying. "But where's Aizawa?" he wanted to ask them. "Don't care about me! Go get that bastard!" But his eyelids had already begun to press down, heavy as if laden with weights. But he need not wait long for that answer...

Touma appeared before them, a pale and haunted expression on his face. "How is he doing?" he wondered worriedly.

Ryuichi looked up at him with red eyes. "I don't know, but I think we're losing him, Touma, what should I do? There's so much blood..."

"I called the paramedics, they're on their way," the N-G president informed them.

"And what about Aizawa?" Eiri asked. "Ani... you're bleeding..."

Touma's shirt front was soaked with blood. But he shook his head. "Not mine. When he shot Suguru I managed to put a knife in him... He's dead."

When Suguru heard the word "dead" he thought they were talking about him and became frightened. He didn't want to die, but he understood that the odds were against him and that he needed to speak with Ryu ASAP. He used all of his last energy to grab hold of his boyfriend's T-shirt and look up into his beautiful, beautiful face.

Ryuichi jerked and instantly looked down at him. "Suguru?"

"Ry... Ryu..." His voice was frighteningly weak. "I..."

"Ssscch," Ryuichi said and caressed his lover's hair. "It's alright, they'll be here soon, you'll be al-alright, and then we'll have all our lives to ta-talk. Just save your energy now... just..."

"No, Ryu," he objected. "Have to... tell you..."

"What, sweetheart? What is it that you need to tell me?"

"I... love you..."

Part of Ryuichi died in that moment.


	58. The Return

**¤¤¤Minutes after confrontation¤¤¤**

Hiro ran up the hallway as fast as his legs could carry him. At the same moment he had reached the hotel they were staying at he knew something bad had happened - and could of course imagine just what - because there were both police cars and ambulances standing standby outside the front entrance with their beacons angrily flaring in the semi-dusk. His heart made a leap down into the pit of his stomach, and a cold knot of stark fear placed itself in his throat, making it difficult for him to breathe. The moment he had stepped into Rage's office in K's wake and witnessed the shooting he had known that everything was going straight to hell, and that things would never be the same again. But despite all that, he had still managed to fool himself into believing that everything was fine, and that everything would be quiet and _normal_ once he came back to the hotel - Hell, he had even managed to deceive himself that K would be there waiting for him to return, his face not at all blown away by a .357 Magnum...

"Shuichi..." he breathed, scared half to death that his best friend would be dead too when he reached him. He did not know what to do if that was really so: Shuichi had been there for as long as he could remember, they had been inseperable and as close as two friends can be. He could not be dead! What would Hiro do if there was to be no more Shuichi and Hiro!?

Panting frantically, he finally reached the suite, and the sight that met him there was horrible. Paramedics were hastily rushing a stretcher out of the room, and after a few confused seconds he realized that it was Fujisaki. "What the Hell happened here!?" he cried, his hand going up to his head and entangling itself in his long, reddish brown hair without him even noticing it. Sakuma was running closely behind the paramedics, his face pale with fear and riddled in glistening beads if sweat. He did not stop to answer Hiro's question, and Hiro didn't blame him a second. It looked serious; the thin linen covering Fujisaki's body was soaked in blood, and an oxygen mask was strapped over his mouth. He was unconscious.

Next came a battered Touma, also soaked in blood, but he seemed to be relatively unharmed since he was walking on his own with his back as proudly straight as ever. But aside from that the man looked nothing like himself. His left arm was in a sling, his trousers were torn in several places, his right eye was decidedly black, his lower lip was split, his light blond hair was caked with dried blood in places and sticky with fresh sweat in others. Mentally he seemed to have been broken somehow; his face was that of a man who had stood helpless while his family was slaughtered. By the general look of it, Hiro doubted that that was the case. Seguchi had probably done what he did best; protect the ones he loved. And Hiro was pretty sure that Fujisaki would have been carried to the morgue rather than the hospital if it hadn't been for Seguchi.

"Nakano-san," Seguchi said as he noticed the newly arrived guitarist only a few feet away. He opened his mouth to say something more, but closed it again almost immediately. Didn't know what to say, did he?

Hiro hurried past Seguchi and around the door to the suite, because he needed to make sure that Shuichi was all right before doing anything else. The vocalist was at Yuki's side, and he seemed to have been spared of new injuries, but he was still healing from the old ones. Yuki was sitting in a wheelchair, looking very unhappy with the situation. He seemed to have injured his shoulder somehow. "Shuichi, are you okay?" Hiro asked and hurried up to his best friend. He put his arms around the frail singer in a tight hug.

Shuichi, half-dazed, raised his left arm and put it on Hiro's back. "Hiro... he found us."

"Yeah, I figured as much. What the hell happened here?!"

Shuichi shivered. "Aizawa had a gun. He shot Fujisaki. It doesn't look good. And he... he shot Eiri in the shoulder. Fu-Fujisaki saved Eiri, Hiro. He grabbed Aizawa's leg and stopped him from ki-killing my Eiri. Fujisaki's a hero, Hiro."

Hiro held his friend tighter. "I know, Shuichi. And he'll be alright. You'll see, he'll be up on his legs again in no time. Surely..." But he didn't believe it himself.

"He lost so much blood, Hiro," Shuichi whimpered. "I... I didn't know he liked me so much, but he... he... he said he wouldn't let Aizawa get me, Hiro. And he saved my Eiri."

Out in the hallway, running steps could be heard. "Touma!" someone was yelling, and to Hiro's surprise he recognized the voice very well. As he turned around to look back out through the open door he saw his own brother running up to Seguchi and throwing his arms around him in a very friendly manner. "Touma, I heard the screaming and the gunshots - are you all right?! Oh my God, you look awful!"

"_Yuji?_"

His brother stiffened at the sound of his voice, then broke the hug and turned towards him, blinking in bafflement. "Hiro!" he exclaimed. "Were you here, too?"

Hiro shook his head. "I was with K..." And suddenly he remembered what he had to tell the others.

Seguchi met his gaze somberly. "Where is K, Nakano-san?"

Hiro swallowed. "K's dead. He got shot in the face by one of Rage's bodyguards the same minute he blew _her_ brains out," he informed, bile rising in his throat.

Seguchi nodded thoughtfully. "He was always a man to be reckoned with."

Hiro agreed. "And Aizawa? What happened to him?"

"Dead," Seguchi said. "I took care of it."

Hiro nodded anew. "I knew you would."

* * *

**The Return**

Pain. A throbbing inside his head. Everything dark like a grave. _Where the hell am I?_ Everything was so quiet. "Am I dead?"

A loud thump and then a crash of some sort made him jerk in fright, even though he still couldn't see anything. _What the...?_

"S-S-Suguru?" a trembling voice asked in a hesitant whisper. It was almost impossible to make out from where it had come, let alone from _whom_ it had come. Therefore he focused all his energy - which was not very much - on lifting his eyelids just enough to get a peek at the room. A blurry figure was standing over him, but the clothes gave him away. "Ryu?"

Laughter came from deep within the other man. "Oh my God, you're alive! You're alive! Su, you can never imagine how damned worried I've been! Oh, I was so scared I'd lose you, sweetheart, I thought I'd never get to hold you or kiss you or play with you again, I was so scared!" He was squeazing Suguru's hand tightly, and his apparent joy actually made the wounded boy smile.

"I've missed you," he said tenderly.

"Yeah, you'd better have!" Ryuichi emphasized. "You've been in a coma for four days!"

Suguru blinked in puzzlement. "I have?" His vision was slowly clearing, and after a few seconds he could see his lover's face, a face he wished he would always be able to look into first thing in the morning and last thing in the evening for as long as he lived. "What... I don't remember much..."

Ryuichi squeezed his hand a little tighter. "You were shot, anata. The doctors didn't know if you were going to survive the surgery, but you did. But then they didn't know if you were ever going to wake up..."

Suguru snorted, and grimased at the pain that it caused. "Well, I can't very well leave you alone, can I? You wouldn't last a day without a babysitter... cough, cough..."

Ryuichi hushed him and gently stroked his hair. "There, there. Don't exhaust yourself now. You're gonna need your energy to get better." He smiled down at the boy that he loved. "It's over now. It's finally over, and as soon as you get better we can go home."

Suguru felt himself blushing. "Does... does that mean we'll be living together, Ryu?"

"Hehe, you bet, little guy. I'll never let you out of my sight again." He leaned down and placed a tender kiss on Suguru's forehead. "I love you so incredibly much, Suguru. I don't ever want to lose you again. These past few days have been Hell for me. I haven't slept, I haven't eaten... I've just been praying that you'd come back to me, and luckily you did. I don't know what I'd done if you died on me, sweetie."

"How are the others? Is Shuichi okay?"

Ryuichi sighed a bit. "Touma's devastated. He's been so worried about you, Su-chan. He tried so hard to protect us all, and now he feels as if he's failed us. I've tried to explain to him that it isn't his fault and that he couldn't have done it any differently, but he just won't listen. It scares me to see him like that. I mean, he's always been so... reliable. I don't know who I am if he's not Touma, you know." He fell silent for a while, and Suguru patiently waited for him to continue. "But Shuichi's all right, considering the circumstances. He's somewhat in shock over what you did. For Yuki, I mean. And for him, too. He didn't think you liked him, and now his brain has to re-evaluate your whole persona, haha." Ryuichi shook his head in resignation. "Yuki's doing fine too. The bullet went straight through and didn't shatter any bones or important arteries, so he'll be fully recovered in no time. And about your cousin's wounds... the physical ones will heal perfectly, but the emotional ones..."

Suguru put his hand on Ryuichi's leg, which was resting carefully on the bed beside him. "Shinpaishinaide, anata. (_Don't worry, my love._) He'll be all right. Eventually. It _is_ Seguchi Touma we're talking about."

Ryuichi started laughing. "Yeah, you're right about that. It's just that... I've known him practically all my life, and I've never seen him this defeated before. It's taken its toll on me, I guess."

"And when I get out of here I will kiss all those booboos away for you," Suguru promised.

* * *

Suguru was released from the hospital two weeks later, and Touma had chartered a private jet for them all to go back to Japan in. As promised, Yuji came with them. It made Touma very uncomfortable, but it seemed as if he was serious about leaving America and his dreams of becoming an actor behind merely for the chance to be close to Touma. He did not know what to say to the man; in spite of all his reassurances he was still very much in love with Eiri-san, but at least his flame had begun to die down a bit. Now his heart was in a place where it no longer hurt for him to see Eiri together with Shuichi, and he was positive that he would, in time, be able to let go of the novelist altogether. But that wasn't the same as shifting his affections to another man. He didn't know if he would ever love anyone the way he had always loved Eiri, man or woman. But deep down he wished that if he ever was to fall in love again that it _would_ be with Yuji-kun, because Nakano's older brother truly was a decent and caring man. And funny, too.

Touma chuckled to himself as he recalled their sake-filled five days away from reality. It had been a blast - a true blast.

Ryuichi, who sat across from him, watched him suspiciously. "What's funny?" he asked. Still worried about him, Touma could tell. He was sitting straight upright in his seat, and Suguru was sleeping beside him, his tousled head resting safely on the ex-Grasper's shoulder. His cousin's mouth was hanging open, and he was snoring softly. Peacefully. _Thank God._

Touma shrugged. "I just remembered something Yuji-kun said, is all." He turned to look out of the window.

Ryuichi did not relent. "Hey, what's really up between you two?" he prodded. "Hiro said that his brother never would've come back to Japan if it wasn't for something extremely special, and I sort of get the feeling that it has something to do with you."

Touma nodded. "It does, I'm afraid."

"And what is that supposed to mean?"

A sigh escaped him. "He says he loves me."

That seemed to surprise his friend. "Loves you? Hmm." He yawned, bored. "Well, whaddaya know." He put his hand around Suguru's back and slowly, lovingly caressed the younger man's back. Suguru mumbled happily in his sleep. "You should have told him there's no reason for him to chase you halfway around the world," he then pointed out.

Touma looked at him. "What do you mean?"

Ryuichi nodded back at the seats behind him, which were occupied by Shuichi and Yuki. "You still love him, don't you?" he stated.

Touma didn't answer. He didn't need to.

The news of their arrival spread like a forest fire in a strong wind, and when they deboarded the plane the airport was filled with reporters from different magazines and TV stations. They wanted Japan to learn as soon as possible that their favorite singer was actually still alive, and that his murder had been a smokescreen, because they wanted Bad Luck to rise back to their original glory as fast as possible - for Shuichi's sake. If he could see how dedicated his fans were he was bound to get his spirits up again - and his love for music and singing would most surely return to him and reinstate him as one of the most popular vocalists in Japanese music history.

They had also called Shuichi's family in advance and told them that their son and brother was still in life. Now they were waiting for him at the airport, ready to take him home and care for him during the remainder of his recovery. They had left out obvious parts of his fate, of course, though. Since Shuichi's family had mourned him for over eight months - and not really seen much of him at all before he "died" - he was to stay with them for a while, to give them a chance to spoil him. Yuki was going to stay at his apartment alone for the time being, focusing on letting his shoulder heal. Touma had made arrangements to rent an apartment in the center of Tokyo, near N-G Production's main building. It was best that way. And, since Yuji didn't have a place to stay in Japan, he was going to stay with Touma for a while. (Of course, _Yuji_ was hoping for his stay there to become permanent, but Touma saw it as a temporary solution made out of necessity. He was a bit worried about Yuji's feelings for him, but he comforted himself by thinking that he would spend most of his time at the office, anyway.)

Suguru was going to put his apartment on the market and move in with Ryuichi. The ordeal they had gone through in New York had strengthened the bond between them, and they were completely in agreement about always being together from that moment on. Everything seemed to work out fine, for everyone except poor K, and as time passed they slowly began to let their guards down, but that's something that they should not have done, because the nightmare was _not_ over yet...

* * *

**_This is all I had the time to write at the moment, but I wanted to get it out at once - for all you guys! ;) Hope you've all enjoyed my story so far, and that you also will read the rest of it because we're not quite finished yet! (I honestly don't know if I'll ever be able to finish this story and actually write an END for it, because I just love it so much, and I'm totally in love with all the characters just the way they turned out in this story - and I never wanna leave them! :( But this chapter marks the end of the first "half" of the story, anyway. And with "half" I don't particularly mean that the rest of the story will be exactly as long as the first "half"; it just feels like half of it is finished. Hope you all understand what I'm trying to convey here... Sorry if I'm not making myself clear enough. Anyways, now I'm going to draw a bit and let my mind dwell on how to continue this story - and I'll see you all in the next chapter! ;) Have a great day, thanks for reading and supporting me, and keep those reviews coming! Love, Piper_**


	59. Reunited at last

**_Okay, starting off the "second half" now! :P Bear with me, there are still many juicy and suspenseful parts left to digest for y'all! (Geez, I must cut down on ANTM, I'm starting to talk like Tyra when she makes those comic examples of hers...) To get into the right spirit I have loaded the stereo with Kotani Kinya-albums, and of course with the Gravitation soundtracks. I just love listening to "Sleepless Beauty" to get me fired up! ;)_**

**_And watch out for the countdowns! They always mark something big that is about to happen... /Piper._**

* * *

**Reunited at last**

The doorbell rang around noon, and since Shuichi was alone in the house at the moment he rushed up to the door and flung it open in a giffy. The man standing on the doorstep to the Shindou residence was none other than Mr. Writer himself, and Shuichi was so happy to see him that he stumbled on his own feet in the doorway. "Eiri!"

The novelist laughed at him and took a step closer. "Hey, my little hyper-bunny," he said affectionately. Held out a bouquet of beautiful summer flowers. "These are for you."

Shuichi made an "_Oooohh!_" sound that would have made Oprah proud had she heard it. "Eiri, they're lovely!" he said, overwhelmed, and carefully took the bouquet from his husband's arms. Then he started to laugh. "Oh, I sound like such a girl! Come in!" He went out to the kitchen to fetch a vase for the flowers, and Eiri followed him in his wake, slyly putting his arms around Shuichi's slender back as Shuichi began to fill the vase with water. He placed one hand on Shu's chest and the other on his belly, very suggestively moving it down towards the waistline of the vocalist's jeans. Shuichi giggled. At the same time he lowered his face down to Shuichi's nape and gently placed a kiss on his lover's fair skin; closed his eyes and inhaled the wonderful scent of Shu-chan that he so loved. "I'm going crazy, Shu. I don't know how much longer I can take it. You come to me in all my dreams, but all you do is tease me, you never let me have you. My body's aching for you every second of every day."

Shuichi sighed happily and leaned back into the embrace. He loved Eiri's breath on his skin, and when the novelist carefully moved the tips of his fingers down beneath the denim he could feel his manhood twitch.

It had been little more than two months since Yuki came to find him in New York, and up until now he'd been very reluctant to let him come too close. Too many bad memories of all the nights he had to serve clients that Aizawa found for him always intruded on his mind and made him disgusted with the mere thought of ever having sex again. But slowly, gradually those memories became more and more faint, and now they were safely stored in a place where he would have to carry them around for the rest of his life, but where they could no longer harm him or hinder him in his future life. Gradually, he had become reaccustomed to Eiri's touch, and for every day that passed he let him come a little bit closer until they were fairly intimate with each other again. But they still hadn't gone _all the way_...

Eiri moved his hand even further down, seemingly unable to stop himself, and thanks to his semi-thin pants Shuichi could feel the novelist's hard erection pressing against him. At first he had thought that it would scare him, but now he realized, somewhat to his own surprise, that it excited him. And he wanted more. He moaned as Eiri found his manhood and started to massage it. "Oh, Eiri... I have longed for this for so long... so long..." He twirled around and flung his arms around the novelist's shoulders and desperately pressed his lips to his husband's. Their tongues met in a wet wrestling match unlike anything Shuichi had ever experienced before, maybe because it had been close to a year since they had made love to each other. Sure, it had been close a couple of times, like that time at the hotel in New York when Sakuma-san almost became an unwilling witness of carnage, but Shuichi had always backed out in the last minute, scared half to death that he would get hurt again. Beaten. Irrational, yes, because he knew that Eiri would never hurt him, but the fear didn't subside just because of that.

"Eiri, I want you," he murmured against the novelist's skin.

Eiri kissed him. "You sure?"

Shuichi nodded and smiled at him. "I'm ready now," he said. "I wanna be yours again - fully and unconditionally." He half expected Eiri to coldly, desperately, push him down onto the floor and rip his clothes open and take him right there, right then, but to his surprise the novelist carefully lifted him off the ground and carried him all the way upstairs to Shuichi's boyroom and gently put him down on the bed. A sly smile came to his lips. "Remember this?" he asked. "When you were sick?"

"You mean after falling into that fountain and spending the night at your agent's place?" Shuichi wondered mischievously.

Eiri wrinkled his nose. "Ouch! Don't say that! It sounds as if you slept with her!"

Shuichi laughed. "You know me better than that. I was all obsessed with you, my love. Even as early as back then."

Eiri bent down and placed a tentative, tender kiss on his husband's soft lips. "And I loved it, even as early as back then." As a warm, happily surprised smile spread on Shuichi's face, culminating in his eyes, glittering like large gems, Eiri traced his jawline with his fingertips, taking in the softness of his lover's skin. He lowered his head and met Shuichi's mouth, kissed him very gently and sensuously, did an arousing tango with his tongue, and caressed his belly. Beneath him, Shuichi was moaning his consent, his arms tightly wrapped around Eiri's back and his left leg entangled with the novelist's. He traced a hand down Eiri's spine until he reached the waistline of his trousers. He stuck his hand in the novelist's pants and found bare skin. No underwear! Oh, this was like a dream come true...

"Eiri..." Shuichi breathed as the novelist placed hot kisses on his chin, throat, collarbones, and shoulders. "... you're so gentle to me..."

"I almost lost you," the novelist murmured against his prickling skin. "I'm not gonna do anything that might hurt you - ever again."

Shuichi frowned slightly. Did that mean no more hardcore sex? No more pain-turns-into-pleasure-because-he's-banging-me-s o-hard-from-behind-I'm-seeing-stars-lovemaking marathons?! "Bu-bu-but what if I want you to?!" he asked in desperation. "What if I want you to fuck me blue? Eiri, what if I _want you_ to go hard on me - won't you do it then?"

The novelist chuckled at his worried tone. "Of course I'll fuck you ruthlessly if you really want me to, but this time _I_ wanna do it slowly and gently like in the fucking books I write to earn my sorry living - is that okay with you?"

Shuichi immediately softened into an obedient lump beneath his throbbing body. "Mochiron," (_Certainly_) he said. "Anything for Yuki. Um, Eiri! I meant, anything for Eiri! Sorry!"

Eiri bit his earlobe, eliciting a surprised gasp from Shuichi. "Shut up and let me fuck you." He needn't say it twice, for Shuichi was starting to get impatient and wanted Eiri to come inside him as quickly as possible. Shaking slightly because of the pleasure he was feeling due to Eiri's tongue currently licking away at his nipples, he began to pull Eiri's pants back over his hips. The novelist helped him and then removed Shuichi's own, ultimately stripping him down completely as he pulled off the waiting vocalist's underwear. Shuichi just stared at Eiri's beautiful, muscular body, for a fraction of a second remembering the dream that he had had during his captivity some days after being kidnapped, when Hey and Dansei had woken him up just as he was about to empty himself onto Eiri's stomach in the cherry blossom landscape of his dream... Now here he had the real deal, and it was even more beautiful than he could remember it. Perhaps Eiri had been working out in Shuichi's absence? To take his mind off the pain of his loss... Either way, the novelist was a hunk, and he was _Shuichi's_ hunk!

"Take me," Shuichi begged in a small voice, a situation so utterly different from his eight months in America when he had begged the customers to stop, _stop_. For only a second, he shivered with that same fear that he had felt every time Aizawa's cronies had left him with a customer and things were starting to "heat up" and almost shied back from Eiri. Then Eiri gently pushed inside him, and everything bad was forgotten. It felt so liberating to finally be joined with his lover again, the only person he had given himself to, and complete them once again. Every thrust made warmth swell inside his heart; every thrust made tiny sounds come out of his semi-open mouth. The pleasure was immense, not only for the obvious reason but also for the mere fact that he was loved, and that he would always be loved, because every movement Eiri made was _for him_; to make him see how much he meant to Eiri, and how much the novelist loved him. "Oh, I love you too, Eiri," he murmured, rising to receive the thrusts he was dealt, "I love you too..."

He looked up at Eiri, and the blonde had his eyes closed and an expression of utter pleasure on his face. It was so unusual to see such a sweet and innocent and _vulnerable_ expression on Eiri's face; he usually looked quite aggressive during sex. But so many things seemed to have changed within the novelist since they got back from America. He smiled more often, was more at ease with himself and his relationship with Shuichi, and often he came to visit when he knew that Shuichi's family would be home, simply to spend time with them and get to know them. He wanted Shuichi to know that he wanted to be a part of his family, because everything that was important to Shu was important to him, too.

"Shuichi..." Eiri said, his voice full of emotion, and he opened his eyes to look down at him. A genuinely happy smile came to his lips when he saw that Shuichi was looking at him, and to Shuichi's surprise his eyes began to water. "I am so happy that you're alive," he said, and a tear ran down his right cheek. "I am so happy to be here with you."

Those words made Shuichi's heart melt completely, and he raised his head off the pillow and forced Eiri into a desperate, hot kiss. Eiri was all for it, and he automatically picked up his pace too, thrusting into Shuichi with more determination. The bed creaked beneath them. Shuichi felt that he was near his peak, and firmed his grasp on Eiri. Close to the novelist's ear, he begged, "Faster." And it slightly surprised him that Eiri obeyed him immediately. Most often he did as he pleased, and it was just for Shuichi to accept that or get thrown out on the street. Yeah.

But this time Eiri was keen on making Shuichi happy, so he went faster when Shuichi asked him to go faster, and he actually grunted with satisfaction when he saw Shuichi arch his back and heard his moans, gasps and shouts. "Oh fuck, you're so lovely, Shu-chan, so lovely..." He seemed to be close to his own peak, for he lost all pretention about making slow and gentle love and rocked the singer's body as if to the panicky pace of a deathmetal song. "I love you, Shu, fuck I love you so much..." His face became twisted with pleasure, and the mere sight of it was enough to break Shuichi's reserves open. He screamed out his pleasure as he reached climax, and dug his fingers into Eiri's back. Eiri stiffened, then let out a shout, and Shuichi could feel the familiar warmth fill him up inside. Eiri's orgasm was monumental; he shook, and his face was screwed up, eyelids fluttering over his closed eyes, and he seemed to be unable to stop thrusting into Shuichi, so lost was he in his world of utter pleasure. Shuichi just watched, fascinated by the sight. When Eiri finally, after what seemed lika an eternity and a tad more, fell down on top of Shuichi, exhausted and sexily sweaty, Shuichi wrapped him in a tight embrace and placed Eiri's head on his chest. He kissed the top of his tousled, blond head. "You are wonderful, Eiri. Just fucking wonderful."

Eiri laughed. "You're not that bad yourself," he said generously.

Shuichi stroked his back. "You sure seemed to be having a good time," he pointed out with a note of teasing in his voice.

"That's because I've gone so long without sex," the novelist replied. "I was a bomb just waiting to explode."

Shuichi looked down at him in surprise. "You mean you didn't masturbate or anything while I was gone?" He chose to say "or anything" instead of saying "or contact some of those women in your black book" for fear of making Eiri mad and ruining the moment.

"No. I was saving myself for you."

The vocalist was quiet for a long time before saying anything to that. "But... but you thought I was dead...?" he objected softly. "How could you save yourself for me then? I don't mean this to sound... cruel... but didn't you even once think about moving on? I mean, they had given you proof that I had been murdered and thrown into the river and you knew that I was never coming back..." He frowned at his own words. "That sounds _so_ weird saying considering I was still alive and could very well come back someday, but anyway..."

Eiri shifted his weight a bit to make it more comfortable for them. "I couldn't think like that," he said, and Shuichi could hear in his voice that it was painful for him to talk about that time. "When they told me that you were dead... I stopped functioning. There was no reason for me to live anymore, nothing could make me feel the slightest bit happy or satisfied with how things were. My writing sucked, I started to drink... But the truth is... the night I found out that you were still alive, I..." His voice trailed away, and Shuichi could hear a vague note of I'm-about-to-cry in it, which made his heart hurt for Eiri's sake. He caressed the novelist's hair to give him some comfort, but Eiri just became stiffer in his arms. "I tried to... I mean... I was drunk, and I was feeling miserable, and I just had to do _something_ to make myself forget the pain, if only for a few minutes, so I..." He took a deep breath. "I tried to seduce Touma," he then confessed.

Shuichi jerked. "What?" he whispered.

"I'm sorry, Shu. And I'm sorry I didn't tell you before, I just... I was just so scared that you'd never want to see me again that I just couldn't tell you. And nothing happened. I kissed him and I tried to use the fact that he's wanted me ever since he first laid eyes on me all those years ago to make him sleep with me, because I needed to be held and loved so bad that night I didn't care what I was doing, but he said no."

That made Shuichi flabbergasted. "He said _no_? Seguchi-san? Really?" Shuichi couldn't understand how _anyone_ could say no to Yuki Eiri, let alone Seguchi-san who had loved him and "secretly" wished to nail him for as long as Shuichi had known him! But then again he was of course glad and immensely relieved that he _had_ said no, because Shuichi didn't want to go his entire life knowing that his own boss had slept with his husband.

"Yeah, can you imagine?" Eiri said. "He rejected me. At first I was pissed, but then I just felt even more miserable because of what I had almost done to you, and then I turned on the radio... and, there you were." He told him about hearing the song of "Jamie Smith's" and later calling all of Shuichi's friends and about making plans to go to New York and rescue him from Aizawa.

"Wow!" Shuichi said. "So that's how it happened? You all came together to rescue _me_?" Tears were streaming down his face now.

Eiri blotted his cheeks with a tender smile on his lips. "Yes. We all love you very much, Shu. But I hope I'm the only one who loves you this way, hehe." He looked deep into Shuichi's eyes, as if searching for some kind of answer in there. "Can you forgive me?"

Shuichi returned his smile. "For what? There's nothing to forgive. Let's take a shower. I don't know about you, but I'm starting to feel a bit freaked out about this sticky mess that's currently gluing us together..."

Eiri laughed. "Ok. Let's take a shower."

Standing in the shower together, Shuichi felt strangely kinky for some reason. More than once he started to chuckle obscenely, and the novelist had to ask him what was wrong with him. Then, when Shuichi turned his back to Eiri to reach for the soap he was suddenly entered from behind. "Eiri!" he exclaimed in surprise, but he couldn't hide his delight at being desired again so soon. This time there was no "I wanna go gentle and sweet like in my fucking novels"; this time it was hard and quick and absolutely divine! Eiri leaned in with his mouth against Shuichi's ear and half-said, half-grunted, "I can't get enough of you, you sexy little tease, turning your ass to me like that as if challenging me to conquer you again."

A shiver ran through Shuichi's body. "I'm glad you took the hint, even though it wasn't even there," he said between quick, excited gasps of breath.

"Ooohh," Eiri growled as he pounded his manhood into Shuichi over and over and over... Then he suddenly grasped Shuichi's erection with his right hand and began to stroke it at a breathtaking pace.

Shuichi thought he was going to die, it felt so good! His soul temporarily left his body and travelled elsewhere where everything was a blessed, pleasurable whiteness and no sounds of the world could reach him, except for his own surging blood and Eiri's mixed noises, sometimes accompanied by a "ohh" or a "yes" or a "fuck". Shuichi came again and sagged against the shower wall, gasping for breath in the humid heat. But Eiri wasn't finished yet; he came onto Shuichi even harder, and surprisingly enough the vocalist's half-dead erection began to rise to the occasion _again_.

"I'm not gonna let you off that easy," Eiri said; Shuichi couldn't answer, because his exhaustion notwithstanding he was once again washed over by almost-painful pleasure and only wanted the horny blonde to go on for as long as possible. He demonstratively put Eiri's hand back on his erection and urged him to massage him anew. When the novelist obliged he moaned happily and threw his head back. This time they came together, two atomic bombs exploding simultaneously with the steam from the hot water around them like little mushroom clouds. They fell into each other's arms, laughing. "That was _crazy_!" Shuichi said, finding it hard to catch his breath.

Eiri kissed the top of his head. "You're just too sexy to resist, Shu. Face it: You'll have to work on that stamina of yours 'cause I'm just going to keep jumping you when you least expect it! Remember that I've gone without for more than ten months - I need your body like I need water and food to sustain me."

"In that case I hope you'll always need me this bad," Shuichi said and pressed his lips to his lover's.

After their shower Shuichi eagerly pulled Eiri back into his room. "There's something I need to show you!" he said, smiling like a little boy in a toystore. Eiri followed and waited until Shuichi had opened a drawer in his desk and pulled out a sheet of paper that he gave the novelist. Eiri stared down at it. "What's this?" he wondered.

"Read!" Shuichi commanded.

And so Eiri read. And marvelled. It was a set of lyrics! And it was nothing that Eiri had read before, which must mean... He looked up at Shu quizzically. Shuichi nodded encouragingly. A new song? But that must mean that he intended to return to the music business! That he intended to sing for Bad Luck once again! "Shu, this is great news!" he said happily.

But Shuichi just shushed him. "Read first, talk later!" he demanded.

When Eiri had gone over the entire lyrics a nostalgic smile was crowning his face. "You're still as bad as ever," he said and handed the paper back to Shu. "You still write disgustingly naive lyrics, and the romantic themes are sickly sweet and trite... but your fans are gonna love it," he concluded.

Shuichi lit up like a flame. "You really think so?" he wondered. "Sugoi! (_Great!_) Did you notice that it's a duet?"

Eiri frowned. "A duet? You gonna bring in a girl to sing with you?" He wasn't sure he liked that idea. Shuichi had always been obsessed with him, yes, but other than that there had been no obvious gay vibrations rising from him, so if Shu brought in a girl to sing a duet with him there would be an imminent risk of him finding himself attracted to that girl...

But Shuichi shook his head. "Iie. (Nope.) That duet is for Sakuma-san and me," he informed.

Eiri blinked. "E? Sakuma-san to...?" (_Huh? With Sakuma-san...?_)

"Uh-huh. I'm planning to go back to Bad Luck, but I'm also planning to make Sakuma-san the second vocalist of Bad Luck."

Those news stunned Eiri. He now had a chance to take back his band, his life's work, from his rival and far outglow him as he once again stood on the stages of Tokyo and the rest of Japan - and instead he decided to keep Ryuichi in the band and make it a _two_-singer band? That seemed a bit out of character for Shuichi... but then it hit him that it was also a genius sales scheme. With both of Japan's most popular singers in the same band, who could compete with them? They would have Japan at their feet in no time. "Shrewd," he complimented.

"Thanks." Shuichi was shining like a sun. He took a step closer to Eiri and closed his arms around him. "Now how about that? You're about to sleep with a rockstar again."

Eiri laughed. "Yeah, surreal. Poor you, you only get to sleep with a dissociative romance novelist who, on top of everything else, has a rotten personality." Self-irony at its best.

"You know what?" Shuichi said. "I don't have a problem with that."

* * *

**_Waaaaahh..! This chapter became much, much hotter than I originally intended! X3 Now I think I'm going to have to take a cold shower... phew! ;P See ya in the next chapter! Love, Piper_**


	60. Already over a thing held dear

**Already over a thing held dear**

¤¤¤3 DAYS TO RECKONING¤¤¤

Yuji was watching him as he put on his suit jacket and readied himself to go to work, with his arms crossed over his chest and a not-too-pleased look on his face. "I just don't get it why you have to be at work _all the time_," he complained as Touma buttoned up his jacket. "I mean, we never have time to hang out anymore..."

Touma stepped into his shoes, then fired off one of his famous sunny smiles that so apparently hid a completely different feeling. "Gomen-nasai, Yuji-kun, but my job requires me to be at the office for very long hours. After all, I _am_ the shacho of N-G Productions," he emphasized. Without further ado, he opened the door, said goodbye to his displeased roommate, and left for work. As he had closed the door behind himself he sank back against it and let out a sigh of worry. It was getting worse. More than two months had passed already now, and there were no signs of Yuji trying to find his own place to stay, and it made Touma more and more nervous every day that passed. What was he supposed to do?! The man was in love with him and refused to leave his apartment! _Of course_ he was bound to stay at work for as long as possible every day! His heart was still pounding for Eiri-san, although much weaker now than it had before. But he was not ready to let go of him yet, let alone think about getting involved with someone else, no matter who that person was.

He did not want to hurt Yuji-kun, he was such a sweet and caring man, and very funny at that, but Touma was afraid that the poor man would be crushed if he told him the truth. _I don't have any feelings for you, and I probably never will. I'm sorry, but I think it is best if you leave my apartment and move somewhere else._

His car was waiting for him. It was with a sinking heart that he took a seat in the back and put his sunglasses on. Ever since their return to Japan he had been couped up in his office on the pretense of doing important work, but the truth was that he was hiding. He was not sure exactly why he was hiding, but he knew that it had something to do with Yuji and their situation at home. He knew that he had to do something about it sooner or later, and he felt deep within him that the "sooner" was slipping away from him and the "later" relentlessly approaching at breathtaking speed. But he just did not want to face the music; hence, he ran away and hid from it.

Ryuichi was waiting for him in the lobby when he arrived at the N-G building. As soon as he spotted him, the singer flew up from his seat with Kumagoro in a tight grip in his left hand, his hair standing on end and tears in his eyes. "Taihen, Touma!" (_Big problems, Touma!_) "Taihen!"

Touma gave a start as Ryuichi threw himself on him like a little child, his eyes huge and watery and begging for consolation. "Ryuichi-kun... what's wrong?" he wondered.

Ryuichi snivelled loudly. "Th-th-th-the press have gotten wind of us!" he whined miserably and grabbed a hold of Touma's suit jacket. "And Suguru is so angry with me!"

The blonde got it. "Sou ka," (_I see_) he said. "Tell me everything you know and I'll help you as best I can."

"Thank you, Touma! You always know what to do in situations like these!" Ryuichi pulled him over to the elevator, and when it had begun to move he pulled a Gibbs and made it stop between two floors. "Okay, here is the deal," he said, twisting his hands nervously. "You know how we've been living together since we got back to Japan, but how we've been extremely careful to hide our relationship from the media since Suguru isn't of age yet, and it's all been working out perfectly until now. But then this morning there was a picture of us in the paper... Well, you can't see that it's Suguru, thank God, because it's so dark, but still, he became really pissed when he saw the picture and he ran out on me, cursing like crazy, and I haven't seen him since. I'm so worried, Touma, you know how bad his temper can be... What if he goes and does something stupid?"

Touma considered the possibilty. "Yes, I know my cousin can lose it sometimes," he agreed, "but he's not stupid enough to get himself into trouble over something like this, Ryuichi. Just relax. He'll come back once he's calmed down. He always does."

Ryuichi blew his nose in a Kleenex. "You sure, Touma?"

The blonde gave him a soothing smile. "Yes, I'm positive. Now, let me see that newspaper..."

Ryuichi pulled out a piece of paper from the back pocket of his jeans and handed it over to Touma. It prooved to be a ripped-out page of the newspaper he'd been talking about, and Touma looked at it closely. The picture had obviously been taken at night, because it was very dark. Ryuichi was standing in the doorway to his house, which was located in a nice residential area across town from Yuki's, and he had his arms wrapped around Suguru, although like Ryuichi had said it was impossible to see that it was Suguru. But it was obvious that the person in Ryuichi's arms was a lover and nothing else. Suguru's right hand seemed to be caressing the side of Ryuichi's face. Beneath the picture, the caption read, _Sakuma Ryuichi's secret lover is rumored to be someone within N-G, and a reliable source tells us that it is a young man, not a lady._

Touma frowned. "Zettai taihen desu," (_This truly is big trouble_) he murmured and quickly skimmed through the article. "This is going to make the press hungry for more news. All of Japan'll want to know who this secret lover of yours is, and they won't leave you alone until they find out." He looked up at his old friend. "Ryuichi, I think it is best if you and Suguru stay away from each other for a while, because considering the circumstances it would be really bad for all parties concerned if media finds out that you're dating someone who's underage."

Ryuichi's chin dropped. "But... but Touma! I can't stay away from Suguru! That's impossible!" he protested.

Touma raised his hand to shush him up. "I'm not finished," he said. "Look, Suguru will come of age in only two days, and that gives me just enough time to call in some favors and change his records slightly so that he will turn 21 in two days' time." He gave Ryuichi a meaning, dangerous look. "Do you understand what I am saying?"

Ryuichi looked completely lost and nonplussed. "Heee? But Touma, he's turning 20, not 21..."

The smile that curled on the president's face at that moment made the other man shiver in fright. "Yes, but the media doesn't know that, do they?" he proclaimed.

Ryuichi swallowed. "I don't think I want to know how you're gonna pull that off," he said, and when they went their separate ways to different floors in the N-G building he felt _very_ happy that Touma wasn't pissed with _him_.

* * *

"Suguru hasn't come in yet?" Ryuichi asked with a steadily sinking heart as he noticed that Hiro was the only one already present in studio 2. He had sort of been hoping that Fuji had gone straight to work when he had stormed out in the morning, but now it became painfully apparent that he must have been even more furious than Ryuichi ever could have guessed, because there was almost nothing in this world that could stop Suguru from going to work.

"Nope," Hiro said, playing a few soft notes on his guitar. "But I'm sure he'll show up any second. Fujisaki's never missed work before. It's not in his character."

Ryuichi looked around the room a bit insecurely. "Yeah... it's not in his character..."

Sakano entered the room roughly five minutes later and was soon followed by Touma. Because of K's untimely death, Sakano had once again been given the job as Bad Luck's manager and Touma had taken over as producer. The result was a lot more chaos and fainting on Sakano's part, and that Bad Luck's music got a slightly more sophisticated sound. Everyone was happy with the final product, but fans all across Japan were getting impatient to have Shuichi back at the mike. So far there had been no signs of Shuichi even wanting to return to the spotlight, but they were still hoping for a miracle to strike.

When an hour had gone by and there were still no signs of Suguru, Ryuichi was getting really worried. What if he was so pissed at him that he never came back? What if he never wanted to see Ryu again?!

"AAAAAAAAAAAAARRRRRRRRRGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHH! I can't take it anymore!" he yelled at the top of his lungs and threw his head back with his hands on his head in a very Shuichi-like pose. Then, screaming and crying, he ran for the door and flung it open and-

Ran into someone.

"_Oooowww!_" a very familiar voice cried out as the two of them fell to the floor in a tangle of arms and legs.

Ryuichi blinked down at the newcomer in utter surprise. "Shuichi?" he said, baffled. "Doushite kono basho e kita?" (_Why have you come to this place?_)

Shuichi carefully sat up and rubbed his backside. "Datte..." (_Because..._) He got up from the floor and into the studio so that he could tell them all at once. They all seemed very surprised to see him there. He held up the sheet of paper that he had brought. "I have a new song."

They stared at him. Blinked sheepishly. Then Hiro gave a cry of happiness and ran up to him. "Shuichi, you're back! You're finally back, aren't you!? This is great! Welcome home, little guy." He put his arm around Shuichi's neck and rubbed his tousled head with his free hand. Shuichi laughed.

The only one who wasn't laughing or smiling was Ryuichi. He remained in the doorway, feeling strangely sad. "So, this is it?" he stated, and he couldn't help but feel a bit betrayed. "I'm out of a job?" He knew he would not be wanted anymore once Shuichi returned to Bad Luck. He could just as well leave at once.

But Shuichi put his hand on Ryuichi's arm and stopped him. "No," he said, and then he smiled. "You're not out of a job, Sakuma-san. We're _both_ going to sing for Bad Luck from now on. Ne? Look, I wrote this song for both of us. These parts marked with red are yours..."

Ryuichi studied the lyrics closely. And yeah. It was true. Several passages were marked with red, and in the upper right corner of the paper Ryuichi's name was written in the same red ink. When he realized that Shuichi, his sweet little kouhai, had thought of him too, a tear fell from his eye. "Shuichi..." he whispered. "This song is perfect..." He looked up at him. "Thank you! Thank you so much for letting me stay in the band."

Shuichi laughed when the older man hugged him tightly. "Mochiron! (_Of course!_) Bad Luck is going to be the biggest band in Japanese history, right? So how better to reach for that goal than for us to do it together, all four of us? You vocals are the most powerful in all of Japan... There is no chance I'm gonna let you go and wind up having you as my rival again."

"Ahaaa!" Ryuichi exclaimed and playfully hit Shuichi on the arm. "So that's what you were scheming! Hey, I like you, kid!" he said, and his serious side shone through for a brief moment.

Shuichi turned to Seguchi. "Shacho, will you arrange for the press conference?"

Touma gave him a kind smile. "Hai, will do." He walked towards the door, stopped on his way there and put a fatherly hand on Shuichi's shoulder. "Welcome back, Shindou-san." Shuichi felt strangely warm inside. After everything that had happened he never would have guessed that Seguchi-san would be glad to have him back, but everyone seemed happy and pleased to be working with him again. When the shacho had closed the door to the studio, Shuichi went over to the keyboard at the end of the room. "Too bad that Fujisaki isn't here, I really would have wanted him to play this new music for you all, he's way more talented than I am, but I guess I'll have to give it a try to give you an impression of the song and what it's all about..." He pulled up a stool and sat down behind the keyboard, as if seating himself at a grand piano.

He closed his eyes and began to play. The others were mesmerized by the soft, beautiful melody, and when Shuichi began to sing the new lyrics the room became completely still. As if time had stopped in order to make the music even more magical. It was clear to them that Shuichi hadn't lost his musical talents during his captivity.

Halfway through, the door was opened again, and Shuichi stopped playing to look up.

Eiri stepped through the doorway carrying a greenish-black-haired little ragamuffin who was screaming and hissing and spitting at him. Eiri himself was as indifferent as always, though. "I found this on my way up," he informed them and let the fighter go. He fell to the floor, cursing in pain.

"Suguru!" Ryuichi exclaimed. "Where in the world have you been?! We've been waiting for you for over an hour!"

Fujisaki got up from the floor with as much dignity as was possible, considering his somewhat embarrassing entrance, and brushed some dust off his suit. "That's really none of your business," he snapped, and went directly over to his keyboard. "Good, you're here," he said when he noticed Shindou at the keyboard. "Did you make the changes I suggested?"

He took the music sheets from Shuichi. "Yeah," the vocalist replied. "You were right, it did sound a bit out of tune towards the last bridge. Thanks for the advice."

"You're welcome," Fujisaki muttered as he squinted at the music. "Fuck, I should've remembered to put my contacts on..."

"You didn't leave your spares here?" Shuichi asked.

"No, I took them home to change them, they were getting old," Suguru said and moved the paper closer to his eyes. Then he groaned. "This is hopeless!"

Shuichi put a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "Don't worry about it, I'm sure you've already memorized it anyway," he said and made room for Fujisaki behind the keyboard.

The other people in the room were watching the exchange as if it was a tennis match.

"You've already seen the new song, Fujisaki?" Hiro asked him in bafflement.

"Yeah, Shuichi asked me to give him a hand, so I've been going over to his house for the past two weeks now to offer him a second opinion," Suguru explained soberly. "It's understandable that he's a bit confused after being put away for such a long time with no chance to play the piano or write songs... I was glad to help him."

That statement only made them even more baffled. "But I didn't think you got along that well..." Hiro protested.

"That's right, and I was of the impression that no one here had any idea of Shindou-kun's plans to return to the music scene, let alone that he was working on a new song," Sakano put in.

"Even I didn't know," Eiri added, as if to further emphasize their point.

"That's because I wanted it to be a surprise for you," Shuichi said with a broad smile. "The song is written for you, anyway, so..."

Eiri actually gave him a tiny grin. "Thought so," he said with amusement in his voice. "It was so trite that it had to be your latest attempt to make me melt and beg for you to be mine for the night." The others made faces of disgust at that comment. "With your zero talent it's way too easy for me to guess the purpose of your sickly sweet quasi-poems."

Shuichi pretended to blush and giggled girlishly. "Oh, Eiri... you flatter me," he said in a shrill falsetto.

They laughed. Everyone else looked as if they were about to puke.

"Anyway, I asked Suguru to help me because I know he's the best keyboard player this company has to offer, and I made him promise not to tell anyone so it could be a surprise."

Ryuichi was staring at the two boys with his eyes steadily watering. His lower lip was trembling. "You... you... you've been hanging out and gotten all chummy and you didn't even tell _me_?" he asked, hurt.

Suguru saw him straight in the eyes when he said, "There was nothing to tell."

The ex-Grasper threw Kumagoro to the floor in frustration. "Nothing to tell!? Shuichi is my _best friend_! And you thought there was _nothing to tell?!_"

Suguru sighed and rubbed his left temple. "Please, let's not do this here. Let's take it at home instead."

"But we're not _going_ home tonight, are we?" Ryuichi yelled, beside himself. "At least not together! It's all because of that stupid news paper article, isn't it?! Well, I'm sorry that there was a peeping Tom in the neighborhood who took our picture and sold it to the press! It's not _my_ fault! But keep punishing me, go ahead, because there's nothing to tell me anyway, is there?" he finished and stormed out of the room, sobbing violently.

The others stared after him in shock. Shuichi blinked in confusion and then turned to Suguru. "What was that all about?"

Suguru bit his lip. "I'm sorry, I have to go after him," he apologized and left the room too.

* * *

"Ryuichi!"

He caught up with him by the elevators, and his heart broke at the sight of his boyfriend in tears. It had never been his intention to hurt Ryuichi, but his temper had gotten the best of him. Now, face to face with his lover anew he understood that he had been wrong in just leaving like that; he should have stayed by Ryu's side, because he needed him. Ryu wasn't always a collected man, so he needed Suguru to be his rock. He understood that now.

"Oh Ryu-chan, I'm so sorry," he said and put his arms around him.

Ryuichi happily fell into the embrace and shrunk in his arms. "Suguru, I don't want to be apart from you," he snivelled, "but Touma said we're gonna have to for a couple of days for him to have time to change your age to 21 or something like that..."

Suguru raised his eyebrows in bafflement. "He said that?"

"Yeah, said he was calling in a favor..."

Suguru held Ryuichi even tighter to his body. "I don't know whether I should thank him for that or pretend not to know anything about it," he said thoughtfully. "My cousin can be a dangerous man when he needs to... I wouldn't want him to develop a grudge against me..."

"Me neither, Su-chan!" Ryuichi exclaimed with emphasis. "Me neither!"

Suguru laughed and kissed the top of his head. "We'll figure this out somehow, Ryu. We'll manage. No matter what happens we'll always have each other."

A smile slowly surfaced on Ryuichi's face. "I hope so."

* * *

Touma put the receiver down. It was done. Soon the two lovebirds could go public with their relationship without having to fear the press. By the time Fujisaki turned 20 they would be free as birds, because his little cousin would be of age, but since rumors were already flying they could not just go out and say "Look at us! We just found each other the day Fujisaki came of age!" People would understand that they had been seeing each other for a much longer time than that, and that could cause major problems for Ryuichi. He could even be facing prison.

As their shacho, it was Touma's job to protect them. Besides, they were family. Fujisaki as his cousin, and Ryuichi as his ex...

The phone rang and broke the silence in the office.

Touma lifted the receiver. "Hai, moshi moshi," he said authoritatively.

"_Did you like the picture?_" a muffled and distorted voice said at the other end of the line.

Touma frowned. What the...? "Excuse me, to what picture are you referring, sir?" he asked but had no real hope of getting it clarified, because it sounded like the person calling had popped a few fuses before dialing.

"_I can give them more, a whole lot more..._"

"Who is this? How did you get this number?"

_Click._

A chill traveled down his spine as he put the reciever back in the hook. There had been something eerie about the phone call... something vaguely familiar, but still unknown. It gave him the creeps. Then he determinedly collected himself. It had only been a prank call, someone who had seen the picture of Ryuichi and his "secret" lover in the paper and decided to give the people at N-G a spook. "Well, you almost got me there," Touma murmured to himself as he set to work, and the matter was soon forgotten.

* * *

"Will you take me home to your place today?" Shuichi asked as they left the N-G building after a long and exhasting, but highly satisfying, recording session and walked up to Eiri's car.

"If you'd like me to," the novelist replied generously.

Shuichi lit up. "Really?!" He threw himself around Eiri's back and hugged him in joy. "I haven't been home with you for more than two months - no, wait a minute, it's _ten_ months, I almost forgot about my time in New York - and it feels so weird not being with you all the time, Eiri! I miss you, but I see you almost every day, but I miss you anyway because it's not the same when you come visit me at my parents' house, I want you for myself, I wanna be alone with you, in our own home, you know..."

Eiri turned around and put his right index finger to Shuichi's mouth. "Sssshhh!" he hissed. "You're talking too much, it's giving me a headache."

The vocalist was effectively silenced - as always - and walked the last few steps with his arms and shoulders sagging, like a rag doll. "Gomen ne, Yuki," he said out of habit without realizing that he was yet again using the name that they had agreed to bury together with the person it belonged to... Then he gave a start. "Oh, I'm so sorry! I meant to say 'Eiri', but then I said 'Yuki' instead out of the force of habit, but I didn't mean to! I'm so sorry, Eiri, it won't happen again, I swear! I'll respect your wish and stop using that name, I'll do anything for you because I love you and I really don't want you to be mad at me and..."

"I said 'Sssshhh'," Eiri reminded him impatiently and opened the driver's door.

"I'm sorry," Shuichi said again, opening the door on the passenger's side. "I know I talk too much, I just get nervous and I don't know what to do so I just talk..."

"Shut your fucking pie-hole or I'll shut your asshole!" the novelist exclaimed in frustration, dropping the cigarette that he had had in the corner of his mouth. Then he simply got in behind the wheel and slammed the door shut. Knowing Shuichi, the little brat, would probably stand there dumbstruck for an eternity if he didn't do something, he started the engine and hoped that the vocalist would jump in before Eiri had time to take off. It was the only thing he could think of doing. Luckily, the dimwit did think that he was about to leave without him and quickly got in the car before being left behind. He was silent for the rest of the way. Eiri peered at him from the corner of his eye. Then he sighed. "I'm sorry," he said quietly, "I didn't mean to yell at you. I'm just not in the mood... my head feel's like it's about to explode."

Shuichi kept quiet for another two minutes. That made Eiri nervous. Shuichi was never quiet, he couldn't be, it was impossible. So what did this sudden silence mean? Was he angry with Eiri? Was he going to give him the silent treatment, make him taste his own medicine?

"You can drop me off at my family's house," he said suddenly, and there was no apparent emotion in his voice. That made Eiri even more worried. Shuichi was always so easy to read because he wore his emotions like ordinary people wore clothes. "Are you okay?" he therefore asked, looking away from the road for a second to gaze at Shu.

"Yeah," the vocalist said. "I'm okay."

"But then why did you...?"

"Tell you to drop me off?" Shuichi finished. He looked at Eiri and gave him a smile. "I just want you to rest, is all. I can see that you are extremely tired, and I understand why you yelled at me. I want you to go home and get some rest, okay? We can see each other tomorrow, after I've been at the studio. Pick me up at five?"

Eiri returned his smile. "Okay."

* * *

The door to Touma's office opened at about seven that evening, something that surprised the president. The door was always locked, and nobody had a key except for the secretary and Sakano-san, who kept a spare key in case of an emergency. So when a key was suddenly turned in the lock and the door began to swing open without so much as a knock, he prepared himself to scold whoever it was who had decided to enter without his permission.

The person who came through the door was Yuji.

That made Touma lose his cool. He stared at the other man as he slowly walked up to the desk, behind which Touma was sitting, going through some important memos. "Yuji..." he said in a soft voice, "what are you doing here?"

Yuji stopped in front of the desk. "I had to come here to see you since you're never home," the other man said matter-of-factly. The invisible blow successfully hit its target; Touma felt a sting of guilt in his chest. "I needed to come see that you were okay," Yuji went on.

Touma got up from his desk and went around to face Yuji standing, rather than sitting. He wanted Yuji to really feel that they were equals, a feeling that he couldn't project to him by sitting behind his desk being the president of this huge company. "I'm sorry if I have worried you," he said, looking the other man straight in the eyes. "It has not been my intention to subject you to any negative feelings."

"No, it has just been your intention to avoid me," Yuji put in clear-sightedly.

To his great surprise, Touma felt his cheeks blushing. He had not blushed since high school! In fact, the only person who had ever managed to make him blush was Ryuichi, come to think of it... The things that man had come up with during their school days... It almost made him laugh and shake his head in resignation at the mere memory of it, but as to not give Yuji the wrong impression he kept it all inside and laughed on the inside instead. "I... I don't know what to say..." he now said to Yuji.

Yuji came a step closer. "It doesn't matter," he assured Touma, and raised his right hand to gently stroke the left side of Touma's face. "You don't have to say anything, I know you're scared. You're scared that you're gonna find out that you actually do feel something for me other than friendship or companionship, because you're afraid of letting go of him. You're afraid that if you let him go and move on with your life, a part of it will be missing, that you will lose him. But you won't, Touma. You'll always have Eiri-san in your life, as a friend - or as your brother, or whatever it is you're calling each other... What I'm trying to say is... it's okay to be scared, Touma. Everyone's scared sometimes. Just let me be there for you," he finished, and took yet another step closer to the shacho.

Touma chuckled a little. "I guess you're right," he said. "I have been afraid, and I have been pushing you away... But I haven't done so willingly, I just..."

"I know," Yuji interrupted, and before Touma could say another word or protest in any way, he leaned in and placed a careful kiss on the shacho's lips. Touma was half in shock and automatically pouted in response to the kiss. It was his first since that night when Eiri kissed him, trying to forget the pain of the loss of Shuichi... Yuji seemed to be encouraged by Touma's tiny response and kissed him again, this time a little more determined with his lips slightly parted. Again, Touma responded automatically due to the shock and slightly parted his lips too. Next thing he knew Yuji was pushing his tongue into his mouth, and he did not stop him. The shock lifted and Touma was swept away on a current very different from the one he usually swam, and he engaged himself fully in the kiss. Yuji murmured happily and pulled Touma into a tight embrace, copping a feel here and there. Touma was surprised at how good a kisser he was and actually enjoyed himself. When Yuji started to get carried away and began to pull Touma's jacket back over his shoulder as if to take it off, Touma stopped him. "Wait," he said and pulled away. Meeting Yuji's disappointed gaze, he said, "There is something I need to do first." And without another word he hurried out of the office and down the hall to the elevators.

He took his car but left the driver, went all the way out to Eiri's house and killed the engine in front of it before allowing himself to even think. This was something that he had to do, and the sooner the better. Though his heart was racing like a horse on the tracks...

Eiri answered the door on the fourth ring, and he did not look happy to be called upon. When he saw Touma on the doorstep he seemed to get even more angry and annoyed. "What the hell are _you_ doing here?!" he asked.

Touma didn't answer, he just pushed through him and went into the house. He didn't go past the area where you took off your shoes, though, but simply waited for Eiri to close the door again.

When the novelist realized that he was not going anywhere, he sighed and closed the front door. Then he looked at the shacho. "Okay, what the hell do you want? And make it quick, I'm having a migraine."

Touma leaned in and kissed him.

Simple as that. Nothing more, nothing less. Just a kiss.

Then he smiled. Nothing. There was nothing. It was all gone.

Eiri stared at him as if he was the man in the moon or something. "What the fuck do you think you're doing?!" he exclaimed, then grimased because his own raised voice was increasing the pain in his head.

Instead of answering his question, Touma said, "Thank you, Eiri-san," and left the novelist's house.

Now he was ready to go back home to Yuji, because now he knew that he was in fact already over the thing that he had held so dear for so many years.

* * *

**_Naaaawww, Touma! :D I can't help but smile, because I really really want Touma to be happy! He's become one of my favorite characters of Gravi lately, and I feel this will to make him happy and satisfied stronger now every day. And seeing as he won't be able to get Eiri in this series I have to give him someone else! ;)_**

**_It took me a bit longer than anticipated to finish this chapter because of my move and everything... I moved into a new apartment yesterday, and everything is chaos at my place now! I just got my internet connection to work two hours ago... (tears) And even though I'm completely exhausted and my entire body is aching I just HAD to finish this chapter before going to bed! XD Please tell me what you think of it! Now I'm going to sleep, there's lots to do tomorrow... and when I'm taking a break in the cleaning and fixing up of the apartment I'm going to write on the next chapter. ;) In the meantime you guys can always read one of my other stories... "Change of Heart" is fresh, haha. ;P Gaah, I'm babbling!_**

**_/Piper._**


	61. Party!

**PARTY!**

¤¤¤2 DAYS TO RECKONING¤¤¤

"So, Suguru-kun, tomorrow is your birthday, right? You guys planning anything special?" They were sitting at an American-style 50's café, and Shuichi studied the two years younger boy over the rim of his glass as he slurped his vanilla milkshake. Ever since they got back from said America, they had gotten along really well, those two, and the other people in their click were slowly adjusting to their newfound friendship and were not as completely surprised by it anymore. Shuichi, who had always been of the impression that Fujisaki hated him for some reason, felt really happy about them finally "making up". And going to a café like this during one of their breaks was awesome!

Suguru snorted and crossed his arms over his chest. "As if! Do you really think Ryuichi is smart enough to plan anything like that? Think again," he muttered, and Shuichi was of the impression that he was kind of put out about Ryuichi not planning anything special for his twentieth birthday.

"Hmmmm," Shuichi said. "I guess you have a right to be angry with him. I mean, it's not every day you turn 20... it's special." Then he lit up like a naked lightbulb. "Heeeeey! Know what!? _We_ can do something special! Nee? We could come up with something that's so awesome and big that Ryuichi will feel awful about not doing anything like that for you himself! Nee? What do you think, Suguru-kun?!"

The keyboardist scowled at him. "Are you serious?"

"_Yeah!_ Of course I'm serious! Let's go to the Arcade and have a dance-out!" he shrieked.

Suguru made a wry face. "Stop yelling like that! People are staring, and we're supposed to keep a low profile..."

Shuichi shrank in his seat. "Gomen ne, Suguru-kun... I didn't mean to be annoying..."

"Oh, please. You're just like that irritating Kumagoro-hugger, all weepy-eyed and whiny... Why can't anyone be normal around here?!" He slumped down on the booth couch and looked really bummed out.

Shuichi blinked at him with huge, tear-filled eyes. "Well, you are - isn't that enough?"

An outdrawn, exaggerated sigh of utmost irritation slipped out of Suguru's mouth, and he melodramatically slapped his left hand to his forehead. "Grrruaaaaagh, I should've befriended Nakano-kun instead!" he complained and slid down into a semi-lying position on the couch.

Shuichi became worried about him and rose from his seat across from Fujisaki. "Have you caught a sunstroke?"

* * *

Ryuichi got off the phone with the party planner and grinned gleefully to himself. "Excellent!" he said and laughed obscenely. "Everything is going exactly as planned! And Suguru hasn't realized a thing...! Ooooh, I am sooo good at this, nya ha ha!" He struck a victory pose with his right hand raised high above his newcut hair and declared, "Tonight I am going to get laid due to my eminent sense of structure and leadership, the two traits that gave me this brilliant idea for Su-chan's party surprise, and he is soooo gonna melt and call me his Daddy when he sees all the hard work I've put into this! BuWAAA ha ha ha ha!"

He leaned back with his lower body protruding in a very K-like manner and laughed hard, feeling very pleased with himself for his astuteness. People shrieked at the sight of him and quickly ran away from the spot in all directions for fear of him being a lunatic of some sort...

A hand carefully tapped his shoulder. "E?" He turned around in bafflement to find Touma standing there with an expression of disappointment and rebuke on his face. "Ryu-chan, the street is no place to make kinky statements like that," he admonished with his most frightening, ghostly authoritative voice.

"HIIIIIII!" Ryuichi jumped at the sight of him and quickly hurried back inside the N-G building where all was safe - a sanctuary for all queer rock stars of Tokyo. "Sorry Touma!" he yelled. "I'll get to work momentarily!"

Touma brushed some lint off his green suit. "Yeah, you'd better. The new single is to be released next week, after all, and I hear you haven't recorded your vocals yet..."

"Sorry Toumaaaaa, _waaaaaaaahhhh_!"

The president chuckled to himself where he, still, stood on the sidewalk outside his precious company. "It is _sooo_ much fun to fuck with that dude!" Then he returned to the alternative universe that was N-G Productions.

* * *

Back in his office he noticed that a message had been left for him from a person he had not expected to hear from again... Wondering what could be on her mind, he called her as soon as he had sat down behind his beloved desk. Leaning back in his illegally comfortable leather armchair, his hat still on his head and his coat still buttoned, he waited impatiently for her to answer. "_Hai, moshi moshi?_"

"Mika-san, what's the matter?"

He listened in silence as she told him the reason why she had called him out of the blue. The further she got in her recount of the past week's events the more unsettled he became. "Mika-san..." he said in his most consoling, compassionate tone of voice, "I am so sorry to hear that. Would you like me to come with you? Alright, I will meet you at the house in an hour, then. Yes. Of course. Take care now, Mika, and don't worry, everything will be all right. Matane."

It was with mixed emotions that he hung up. He leaned forward to support himself against the desk and put his chin in his hands. Things just kept piling up, did not they? He half-jokingly, half-seriously wondered if his "family" had been cursed.

* * *

_She looked at him with sparkling eyes, so many emotions visible in those two deep blue orbs, both ready to explode at any second. "Will you not come back with me?" she wondered, and her lips trembled like her hands had before. It was almost painful to look at her, because he knew that he would have to disappoint her and, ultimately, hurt her._

_He shook his head. "No, Sandra..." A faint whisper that was carried away by the cool autumn wind that separated their fates from one another. "I'm sorry, but I can't. I need to return to my family. This..." He bit his lip. Did not know quite what to tell her anymore. "This time with you... has been one of the best times in my life. But you know that it cannot last forever, and however reluctant I am to leave you, I still have to return to Japan. We both knew from the very beginning that our love could not transcend the gap of time, and we both knew that our time together would be limited. Sandra, please... don't blame me for this. This is just how things have to be."_

_He knew the moment he had uttered those words that they had been a mistake, for her eyes turned in an instant from that sad, defeated tearyness to an angry, provocative demeanor that he wished he never would have had to see. "You bastard! You are just looking for an easy way out, aren't you?! You told me your wife didn't mean anything to you anymore, but still you're going back to her!? That doesn't add up, dammit!" She came at him with fisted hands, rosy cheeks and accusing words, and he could but take what punishment she was dealing him, for he knew that he was guilty as charged. "You bastard! You never loved me, did you? You never cared for me one bit, did you?! Bastard...!"_

_He took her in his arms and held her close to his chest, bent forward and placed a tender, repentful kiss on the top of her coppery head. "Yes, I did, Sandra," he told her gently, "I did love you. And I still do, very much. But I have a duty that you cannot understand. I am sorry."_

_And with those words, he_

PIN-POOOOON!

The doorbell interrupted him in the middle of his afternoon flow, and he lifted his gaze from the computer screen long enough to glare out into the hallway, even though he knew that he would not be able to see the unexpected visitor through the door and the solid wall. Reflexes were not always rational. It took him only a second to debate with himself whether or not it was worth getting up from the chair and go check who had come by at this time of day. He remained in his seat and turned back to the manuscript he was currently working on.

He skimmed through the last paragraph. "Hmmm... 'He took her in his'... 'still love you' bla bla bla... 'cannot understand'. OK."

_And with those words, he let go of her and took one last, long glance at her. As much as he wanted to stay he_

PIN-POOOOON! PIN-POOOOON!

He looked up from the screen again. Who the Hell had the guts to come and disturb him in the middle of a work day!? Well, when it came to a novelist a 'work day' was of course an entire day in some cases... there were no pre-set work hours.

Once again he chose to ignore it. Whoever it was would have to realize that he was not in and go bother someone else instead.

"Now, let's give this another try, shall we, Fujiyama-san?" he said quietly to the empty room, as if speaking directly to the main character of his new novel.

_And with those words, he let go of her and took one last, long glance at her. As much as he wanted to stay he had to forget about this whole acquaintance and go back home to his family, his job, his obligations. That was, indeed, something an American girl like Sandra could not grasp, for the Japanese society was that of a different reform when it came to personal duties._

No, that did not sound right. A frown searched its way onto his forehead. He erased the last sentence and started over.

_That was, indeed, something that an American girl like Sandra could not grasp; she was too young and too inexperienced to know the true value of family._

Yes, that was more like it. And then...

PIN-POOOOOOON! PIN-PON PIN-PON PIN-PON PIN-POOOOOOOOOOOOOOOON!

Eiri rushed up from his chair. "What the fuck...!" He stalked right into the hallway and over to the front door and pulled it open, expecting Shuichi to stand on the other side, having lost his key again. Therefore he was cut short in his ragy outburst. "What the fuck do you think you're... What the Hell are _you_ doing here?!"

Mika leaned against the doorframe, her face as impatient and annoyed with him as always. "What do you mean 'what the hell are _you_ doing here'? Can't a sister come visit her brother without getting the third degree?!" She stepped past him and walked straight into the living room without asking him to let her in first.

He followed, his forehead riddled with popping veins, a _very_ bad sign for someone with high blood pressure... "And who the hell said you could come in, huh!?" he demanded, but knew that he was at a disadvantage here.

Mika stopped in front of the sofa, her arms crossed over her chest. "I came here to ask something of you," she confessed, and it was apparent that she was not going to take no for an answer.

Eiri's eyes narrowed. He did not like the sound of that. "Since when did you fool yourself into believing that you could ever ask me for anything?" he wondered. "Have I not suffered enough already because of your selfish ways with me?"

His sister laughed. "Eiri, Eiri..." She turned to face him, but she wasn't smiling scornfully as he had imagined she would; her face was a sad display of fatigue, concern, sorrow and regret. That actually made him puzzled. He wondered what could have inspired all those uncharacteristic emotions in her. And he was just about to get the answer to that thought, whether he liked it or not. "I have tried to contact you for more than a week, Eiri, but you haven't been answering your phone..."

He shrugged. "I've been busy. My deadline is closing in, and I've got about 200 pages left to pull out of my already tired head. So, if this wasn't anything important, scram!"

Mika actually looked struck by his words, and for a fraction of a second a shadow seemed to pass over the surfaces of her eyes. Then she pulled herself together somewhat. "Eiri, our father is ill," she informed him with a note of cruelty in her voice, probably because of his dismissal when she thought he should be able to sense the importance and urgency of her sudden visit. "He doesn't have much longer, and he's been asking for you."

Eiri jerked. What? The old man was finally signing the papers for the Shinigami?

"That was indeed an unexpected surprise, Nee-chan," he murmured thoughtfully. Scratched his chin. "So, what? Now you want me to go back home with you and say goodbye to the old pervert?"

"_HeeeEEEEEEE!?_" Mika screeched, flailing her arms about in obvious indignation. "How can you just talk about him like that when he is lying on his deathbed?! You are such a lousy son, Eiriiii!"

He took out a cigarette and lighted it carefully. "And you are such a perfect replica of him, Mika. No, I think I'll pa-" He was interrupted by his mobile, which was ringing. When he took it out he saw that it was Shuichi calling. Better answer, then. "Hai?" he said indifferently in his usual cold, rejecting voice.

"Hey! You're just gonna answer the phone like that now!? What about me and what I was talking about, huh?!"

"_Eiri, good, you were available!_" the sprity little vocalist purred on the other end of the line. "_Look, there is a party tonight to celebrate Suguru's 20th birthday, and we'd all like you to come if you are free! Hehe, **I** would love for you to come, Eiri, and be my date. So, wouldyouwouldyouwouldyou?!_"

Eiri blew out a cloud of tobacco smoke. Mika was still dancing around the room like an angry little devil, and her hair was standing on end. Scary. "My sister's here," he told Shuichi as if it was perfectly natural to change the subject that abruptly.

"_I... what? Mika is? Naze desu ka?_" (Why?)

"Apparently the old man's about to bite the dust, and she feels it's my duty to be there when it happens." He could not be more bored or care less, but for some reason he felt like he needed to tell Shuichi about this. He wanted the little fruit to know everything about him, even this useless little information.

There was a loud gasp. "_No...! Eiri, I'm so sorry... do you want me to come home? Do you need me there with you?_"

Eiri snorted. "Oh, please. Who do you take me for? I've just been interruped by one of the people I hate the most, and just when I was really getting into the flow of this fucking story, and you think I'm gonna need you to come home to cry on your shoulder just 'cause my father is dying? Come on, you know me better than that!"

"_Yes, I do, Eiri,_" Shuichi said seriously, "_and I know that you need to go there, too. You'll regret it for the rest of your life if you don't say goodbye to your father while you've still got the chance, regardless of how much you 'hate' him._"

Eiri stared down at the floor. Shuffled his feet a bit. There was something about Shuichi that always brought about the softer sides of him. And to his own surprise, he found himself saying, "You really think so? I should go?"

Mika made a _hiiiiii_ sound and stopped dead in the middle of the floor, her angry little dance apparently over with.

"_Yes, I definitely think you should go. And not only for your own sake, but for your father's. How do you think he would feel if his own son didn't come to see him on his deathbed, huh? And what about Tatsuha? He still looks up to you, to some degree... Do you want him to hate you for the rest of your lives?_"

The novelist bit his lower lip. Fuck, the brat was right. He sighed. "All right. I'll go."

Mika rushed up to him and grabbed him by the shirt collar. "Hontou ni!? Hontou ni kaerimasu!?" (For real? You're really gonna come back home?)

"Aaaaaaa!" (Yeeeeaaaahh!) he said, once again pissed off, and pushed her away from him with all his might.

"_And what should I say to Sakuma-san?_" Shuichi wondered in the mobile. "_Should I still put you down for the party?_"

He did not need to think long. A tiny smile actually came to his lips when he imagined Shuichi's face as he came to pick him up to go to the ball. "Aa, tell him I'll put in an appearance for sure," he said in a much warmer tone of voice. "I am part of the family, after all. And Shu..."

"_Nanda?_" (What?)

"I've missed you."

He ended the conversation and put the cellular back in his pants' pocket. Then he turned to Mika again. "Hai, ikou ze." (Okay, let's go.)

* * *

He did not get it. It was so fucking quiet everywhere, and there was not a single person to be seen anywhere! Like, what the Hell!? Had everyone up and requested an emergancy vacation all of a sudden!?

He turned a corner and found Ryuichi some forty yards further down the hallway, strolling with a carefree attitude, his hands in his pockets. Suguru was so surprised at finally seeing someone that he stopped dead in his tracks. And it was the person he had most wanted to see no less! Could this be a dream? Maybe he was sleepwalking... After all, he did have a habit of sleepwalking as a child... Maybe stuff like that could resurface during stressful times?

Ryuichi lifted his gaze and noticed him. He stopped short, too. Just stared at him. Then he lit up and came skipping towards the younger man. "Suguruuu!" he exclaimed happily and threw his arms around him. "I've been looking for you! Where've you been all day?" His eyes were positively sparkling. _Pika pika..._

Suguru smiled vaguely. "I was just out, is all," he said, because he did not think it a good idea to mention to Ryu that he had been out for coffee together with Shuichi, considering how the ex-Grasper had reacted the last time Suguru and Shuichi had been friendly with one another. "You?"

Ryuichi shrugged. "Ah, nothing much... I went up to Touma's office to ask him about that little age-changing deal, but he was out for the rest of the day according to his secretary." His facial expression changed in an instant, and he suddenly grabbed hold of Suguru's arm and began to pull him towards one of the rehearsal rooms to the right of them, all the while chuckling mischievously. When he had managed to get Suguru into the empty, semi-gloomy room and locked the door behind them, he looked at his lover with that piercing, sharp look of his - the one that always made Suguru shiver with pleasurable anticipation. "What do you say we celebrate your birthday with a little intimacy, just the two of us?" he suggested with a meaning, impish glint in his sexy brown eyes and licked his lips. "Some nudity would do me good right now." And to emphasize that statement, he let his eyes slide over Suguru's slim figure, resting them on the boy's crotch approvingly.

The ex-Grasper was practically exuding sexual vibrations, and Suguru responded accordingly. Ryuichi knew exactly how to best catch his attention, and he definitely knew how to make the boy aroused. Putting his arms around Ryuichi's neck, he raised himself up on his toes to meet the other man's lips. His cheeks burning a hot red, he closed his eyes and let himself be swept away on the current of passion that Ryuichi was offering him a ride on. He realized that he had some major sexual frustration pent up inside him because of that stupid article with their picture and their having to stay separated until Seguchi fixed everything for them... Ryuichi nibbled at his left earlobe, then traced Suguru's neck with the tip of his tongue. Suguru gasped; his breathing was quick and deep now. "Ryu... I need you... so bad," he murmured desperately, and pulled the ex-Grasper closer to his body.

"Mmmm," Ryuichi mumbled against his skin as he licked his way down Suguru's chest, gradually unbuttoning his shirt as he went. "I need you, too, like I've never needed another person before."

That made Suguru happy to hear. Ryuichi made him feel special, wanted, loved. And this treatment... getting kissed and licked all over like this... his pants were bulking, and it was starting to get painful as his erection grew. He meaningly directed Ryu's hands to his crotch, and the singer immediately grasped what he wanted him to do and began to unzip him. But he did not stop there: He slowly put his hand inside Suguru's underpants and rubbed his fingers against the boy's erection. The boy stiffened and yelped, pleasantly surprised. "Nnmmm... you like that?" Ryuichi asked mischievously, and stroked the boy's erection with his fingers.

"Oh, God!" Suguru gasped, almost crawling up and down the wall in excitement. He grasped Ryuichi's hands and looked his lover straight in the eyes. "I can't take it anymore," he breathed, begging, "make love to me already."

They swiftly undressed each other, and Ryuichi determinedly turned Suguru towards the wall and placed his hands on the boy's backside. "Yes," Suguru pleaded, "take me! Please, take me, Ryu-chan!"

Ryuichi obeyed him and carefully pushed inside him. He grunted as he felt the familiar, wonderful sensation of him and Ryu being connected, as if they had suddenly become one and the same. Ryuichi of course already knew that Suguru's taste when it came to sex was a bit... rough. To say the least. But sometimes he still surprised his older lover, it seemed. This time he asked Ryu to spank him and encouragingly provided the ex-Grasper with a mike stand that appeared out of nowhere in his hand, and Ryuichi temporarily stopped, struck mute and not so sure what exactly the boy expected him to do with that thing. Therefore, Suguru shouted, "Come on! Hit me!"

Ryuichi hesitated. "You know, I could really go for a bed right now... something softer, anyway... than this... you know... kinky stuff..."

"_Shut up and fuck me!_"

* * *

Touma waited for Mika outside her house with his arms crossed over his chest. He felt very awkward about being there, and had actually been sort of relieved when nobody answered the door. He had been afraid to stand face to face with her lover (he should really call him her fiancée and not her lover, but it made him feel even more awkward) that he had only met once before when he had accidentally walked in on them once when returning home from work early. It had not bothered him, of course, but it had still been indescribably embarrassing...

He wondered where Mika could be, she was never late. Especially not when it was for something as important as this...

He cast a glance at his wristwatch. Ten minutes now. How odd. He wondered if he had somehow misunderstood her when she asked him to meet her at the house. Maybe she was waiting for him someplace completely different?

"Touma, you came," her voice suddenly said from a little further down the street.

When he looked up he found that her car had pulled up to the sidewalk, and that Mika had stepped out in order to make her presence known to him. He smiled at her and walked up to the car. "Hello, Mika-san," he said in his most pleasant voice. "Ohisashiburi desu ne?" (It's been a while, hasn't it?)

She returned his smile, and it was evident that she was relieved to find that they could still be friendly with one another. "Would you mind getting in the back?" she then asked him.

Surprised, he stopped beside the passenger's side door with his hand half stretched out to touch the handle, then nodded curteously. "Of course." He moved back and opened the door to the backseat instead. With both of them in the car, Mika started the engine and pulled out.

"What the fuck are you doing here?" Eiri asked angrily as the president put his seatbelt on.

"Oh, I just volunteered to keep Mika-san company," Touma replied pleasantly. Then he gave a start and hastily shot forward in his seat. "Eiri-san! What on earth are _you_ doing here?!" he expelled in shock.

"What the fuck do you think I'm doing?! I'm going to bid my dying father farewell before he passes on to the next world. What the hell did you think I was doing here?!"

Touma fell back against the seat. He blinked a few times. The shock was hard to shake. "I thought you hated your old man..."

"I do, but my sister gets damned scary when she means business," Eiri muttered grumpily.

Mika grinned at her brother in the rearview mirror. "Shuichi told him to go, and he obeyed like a good little lapdog," she informed Touma with a gleeful note in her voice.

"Shut up!" Eiri warned, veins popping on his forehead.

Touma sat in silence for a while. "I see..."

None of them spoke another word for the entirety of the drive to the traditional Japanese house that the Uesugi family inhabited. They were met in the doorway by Tatsuha, who solemnly led them into the sitting room, where he had prepared traditional kimonos for the three of them. Without a single word, the three of them changed, and ultimately allowed Tatsuha to lead them to the old man's room.

Tatsuha opened the sliding door, then stepped inside and knelt beside his father, who was lying on a futon in the middle of the tatami floor, covered in sheets and blankets. "Otou-san, they're here," he said ceremoniously.

The old man coughed violently, then turned his head in the direction of the doorway, where the three guests were still standing. Touma felt a bit awkward about being there, even though he had been this man's son-in-law for many years and been greatly liked by him. But at the same time a sort of serenity came over him at being back in that house. He had always loved the peacefulness there and often wandered around in the garden, merely enjoying the beauty of nature's wonders and being alone with his own thoughts, without constantly being disturbed by others or expected to do this or that... It could be tiresome being the president of such a big company, and also being one of its main producers... Maybe he was working himself too hard? he thought as he was once again back at this place, which had always represented peace to him.

"Eiri... Mika..." the old man whispered, begging them to come forth to his bed. He tried to reach out his hand to them, but he was too weak.

Mika instantly went to his side and knelt beside Tatsuha. "Otou-san!" she said, and her voice was thick with sorrow and anguish. It was even possible to hear the tears that blurred her sight. She took her father's hand in hers. "Otou-san, I have brought Eiri for you."

The corner of the old man's mouth twitched, almost as if he was about to smile. "Eiri, my boy... come here where I can see you," he ordered.

Eiri sighed and walked the few paces up to his father's bedside, but he didn't sit down. Still standing, he said, "So you really are sick this time?"

Mika spun around towards him with a horrified, accusatory look. "Eiri!"

He glared down at her. "What? He feigned illness before just to get me home, didn't he? I have a right to ask questions, he is my father too." There was a short pause during which Eiri stared at the old man on the futon. "Unfortunately."

The old man seemed to understand why he was so hostile towards him and did not say anything to it. Instead he turned to his other son. "Tatsuha... some tea...?"

Tatsuha bowed. "Hai, yarimasu." (Yes, I will take care of it.) He elegantly rose to his feet, so used to wearing a monk's traditional attire that he did not show any difficulty at all moving in it. His movements were almost etherial and made Touma think of a butterfly gently floating on a mild spring wind. It was enjoyable to watch. He sat down in a corner of the room and took out everything that he needed to perform a tea ceremony. He was so in tune with the old ways, yet so youthful and modern... He fascinated Touma - like always.

"Eiri..." the old man now said in a more demanding tone, "please sit down."

The novelist said nothing, but simply remained standing, towering over his father with an expression of utter indifference on his face. It was impossible to make out what he was really feeling deep inside. Touma watched him closely, wondering if he would heed his father's wish or remain stubborn and rebellious, like he had always been for as long as Touma had known him. Then something odd happened. Eiri looked down to his left, and a hesitant expression shortly crossed his face, with a trace of regret deep within it. Then he knelt beside his father's bed. Looking his old man deep into the eyes, he took his hand in his, something that made both Mika and Touma stunned. With a stern face, he said, "Both you and I know what you have done to me in the past, but I guess this is the time to remember that the past is the past, and that we can do nothing to change it as it has already occurred." He made a pause and briefly looked away from his father.

The room was completey silent; they were all waiting for him to continue. Then he fixed his gaze on his father's again. "I am happy with my life as it is today." Again, everyone else in the room was stunned by his revelation. "If I think hard about it, I am lucky. I have a rather good life. I have my job, fame and recognition and more money than I actually need... I have a family, however much that pains me and however much you all keep bothering me, I do have you, and not all people have a family... I have friends, believe it or not, although I didn't really choose to be friends with them. Still they give me some sort of satisfaction when it comes to social interaction... and I have Shu-chan. Most of all I am grateful that I have Shu-chan in my life, because without him I wouldn't have any moments of joy in my life. He brings me joy, even though he is a pain in the ass and a total baka and never leaves well alone... But he's a truly gentle person. He cares about people, makes an effort to please people and amuse the people he cares about, to offer them support when they're in need or is simply there by their side, every day.

Another short pause. "And when it concerns me... he's twice as serious as with anyone else. No matter how you look at it, he is surrounded by people who have been touched by him, and I am probably the person he has touched the deepest... I love him. This is the kind of love that fills you up completely, that can either fulfil your life or make it a living hell if it's unrequited, and I am so fucking grateful that I've been given a chance to experience this. I am truly happy that I was given the chance to meet Shuichi and be touched by him, and I guess that what I'm trying to say is... I am, somehow, somewhere, grateful to you for bringing me into this world and hence giving me the chance to meet Shuichi and have my life fulfilled. So... thank you, Otou-san."

The room was quiet for so long that Touma wondered if the world would ever again be noisy, or even get a single sound as a greeting. He was, like everyone else in the room with him, shocked at Eiri's long speech, for it was so utterly out of character for him to speak like that. So... lovingly...

Then his face cracked into a smile. Eiri was _happy_. He was happy to be alive. The one thing that Touma had strived for all these years since that horrible incident with Kitazawa Yuki had finally come true. Sure, he was not the one who had finally managed to make Eiri happy again, but that did not matter. What mattered was that Eiri was once again able to smile with a bit of innocence, without at the same time thinking about everything that had happened to him and that had weighed his heart down and forced him to lock everything safely away inside of himself; everything that he was, everything that he felt, everything that he wanted from life. Once again, he was able to enjoy life as himself. And Touma felt immensely grateful to Shindou Shuichi for helping Eiri back to being his true self.

The old man's hand began to shake, and tears filled his eyes. He seemed to be overwhelmed by emotion, and tightly squeezed Eiri's hand as hard as he could muster in his weak state.

It was as if that had been exactly what he had been waiting for, becase only minutes after Eiri had finished his speech the old man came to rest on his pillow in an eternal sleep that no one could wake him from. And he walked into the new world with a smile on his face, for that had been as close to "I forgive you" as Eiri had been able to come, and the old man could finally turn in with peace in his heart.

* * *

"What is this? Why do we have to go here before going home?" Suguru asked irritatedly as Ryuichi led him towards a building with dark windows. No one was there, so what were they doing there anyway?! Did he have such a strong and devouring urge to have sex that he could not wait till they got home?!

But he followed, for he would follow his lover to the end of the world if he chose to go there. That was the promise he had made when he had gotten out of the suite in New York alive and fully recovered from the gun shot. He never wanted to be apart from Ryuichi again and intended to stay by his side until they were old and wrinkled. The fact that Ryuichi was 15 years older than him was something that he stubbornly put out of his mind for fear of jinxing their relationship and somehow make it their destiny that Ryuichi would die much sooner than him. He preferred to think that they would die together one day, and considering the older man's energetic and childish personality it was not so difficult for him to keep that illusion alive.

Ryuichi opened the door and stepped over the threshold. "There," he said, "kotchi, kotchi!" (This way, this way!) The moment after he had said that, the lights went on and blinded Suguru for a second, and scores of voices shouted "OMEDETOU GOZAIMAAAAASU!"

Stunned, he took a step back, his eyes wide with shock. There must have been at least a hundred people there! And right in the middle was a huge banner with the text "SUGURU'S 21ST", and beneath it "Minna kara go-tanjoubi omedetou gozaimasu!" (Happy birthday from all of us!)

He slowly stepped into the room. A grin came to his face. "Whooooaaa...!" he said, impressed. Turned to Ryuichi. "Did you do this?"

Ryuichi nodded happily.

Suguru embraced him and placed a tender, hot kiss on his lips. "Arigatou. Aishiteru yo, Ryu-chan no baka." (Thank you. I love you, Ryu-chan you fool.)

"Do you like it?" Ryuichi wondered sweetly.

"It's perfect," Suguru said with emotion. His eyes were even watery - and that was something incredibly rare for Suguru! He looked around at all the people from the record company that had come to celebrate his birthday with him. "Sugoi... is everyone here? Seguchi, Shuichi, Yuki-san...?"

"And Hiro and Sakano and Noriko and Yuji..." Ryuichi went on with a smile.

"Sugoi..." (Amazing...)

"Wanna dance?" Up until then he had not even registered the music that was playing, but when Ryuichi mentioned dancing he lifted his gaze and noticed the band that was playing on the stage up ahead. He gasped. "Raruku An Shieru!" (L'Arc en Ciel) he exclaimed, so impressed that he almost lost his balance. His hands reflexively flew up to cover his mouth as he ogled them in awe. "They're my favorite band! Ryu, how in hell did you get them to play at my birthday party!?"

"I called in a favor," a mellifluous voice said from behind them, and Touma appeared with a solemn smile on his lips.

Suguru surprised them all by giving his cousin a firm hug. Then he said, "Does that mean I owe you twice?" He nodded at the banner announcing his "twenty-first" birthday.

Touma laughed. "Oh no, see it as my birthday present to you. It is _I_ who owe _them_ something."

Ryuichi frowned. "But I thought you said you called in a favor... Doesn't that mean that they owed you something, so you asked them to come and play as a return favor for whatever it was they owed you for?" he wondered.

Touma gently shook his head, then turned his attention to the stage. "No, they figured this was too big a favor to return my kindness last time," he explained, "so now I owe them something instead. It is truly going to be interesting to see what they may ask me to do in return." And with those yakuza-like words, he disappeared once again into the crowd, leaving Suguru and Ryuichi to ponder whether he was talking of some illegal business or merely a friendly favor. Hmm, no, it was Raruku they were talking about, so it couldn't really be anything illegal... Could it?

"Suguru!"

He turned around to see a euphoric Shuichi coming at them at the speed of light, overjoyed at seeing them there. A tired, bored, slightly annoyed Yuki followed him, a cigarette in his right hand. "You finally made it!" he shrieked and threw himself around the keyboardist's neck, laughing childishly with delight. "Otanjoubi omedetou! Didn't I tell you we were gonna do something special for you? Huh? Didn't I?!" he blabbered on and on until Yuki forcefully grabbed his head with one huge, masculine hand and dragged him back, off of Suguru. "Uruse, bakayaro!" (Shut up, idiot!) he growled. "I'm having a fucking headache, and this crappy music is enough noise as it is! Chi, kusogaki..." (Hmpf, damned brat...)

Both Shuichi and Suguru were shocked.

"Kusogaki!?"

"Crappy music!?"

"There, there," Hiro said, suddenly appearing out of nowhere and putting his arms around their shoulders, effectively leading both of them away from Yuki before all Hell broke out.

He steered them to the table with the refreshments and began to pour a glass of punch for himself. Then he looked at Shuichi as if to inquire whether he wanted one too or not. Shuichi shook his head. "No, I'd better stay sober tonight," he muttered gloomily, "I have a hunch that Eiri's gonna make my life miserable once we get home 'cause he's in such a foul mood, and he'd just be worse if I was drunk and giddy too..."

Hiro nodded thoughtfully. "I see..."

Shuichi put a hand on his shoulder. "No, you don't, but I appreciate the effort. Jya ne." (See ya.)

He left them and walked off through the crowd, probably in search of his lover. Hiro chuckled and shook his head in resignation. Those two... they never learned.

Suguru surveyed the room in hopes of spotting Ryuichi somewhere, but there were so many people dancing and talking everywhere that he could not see the slightest trace of his lover anywhere. Where could he have gone off to? Then he noticed Hiro's older brother, his cousin's (un)welcome house mate, bouncing around in the middle of the floor, a sheepish grin on his face and his hands outstretched both ways as far as his arms allowed._ What the Hell is he doing?_ Suguru thought and moved closer. Then he spotted Ryuichi a few yards from Nakano-san, in the same strange body position as Yuji, laughing cruelly. "You'll never be able to catch me, Yuji-chan!" he exclaimed, and flexed his fingers challengingly.

What? Were they playing some sort of game? On _his_ birthday!?

"Let's see about that," Yuji objected confidently, and suddenly he was charging at Ryuichi with immense speed, yet he was not fast enough to catch the ex-Grasper, who simply moved aside as easily as Keanu Reeves' character Neo in _The Matrix_. Laughing, he said, "Oh, ho, ho, you'll have to do _much_ better than that!"

Suguru watched, aghast, as the two grown men ran around in circles, trying to catch the other, as if this was some sort of kiddies' birthday party with fun and games, and everyone else was watching too! His cheeks began to burn with shame. It was so embarrassing! The people at N-G all knew that Ryuichi and Suguru were an item, especially after tonight and their very intimate entrance, and now they were all gonna think that Suguru was some kind of pervert who loved a man that was still childish and naïve and hopelessly dense and always disrupted everything important simply to play - and that was _so_ wrong! They were going to _laugh at him_ behind their backs! "Look, here comes that Fujisaki kid who acts all professional and grown-up, but really he's a kindergarten kid in disguise, I mean, look at his boyfriend Sakuma Ryuichi... Geez!"

He fled the scene, panicking, and ran all the way outside until the door to the locale was closed behind him and he was standing with his back to the wall to the right of the door, breathing wheezingly and feeling as though his heart was about to explode in his chest. He had to calm down. Had to be professional.

But he was just so damned _irritating!_ He was getting on his nerves!

"Oooohh, why did I have to fall in love with that idiot!?" he growled in frustration.

"Oooohh, why did I have to fall in love with that idiot!?" another voice said to the right of him, on the other side of the closed door, the very same instant that he spoke.

Baffled, he turned his head to the right and noticed his cousin standing there, looking at him with the same expression as he himself must have had on his face in that moment.

"What are you doing here?" Touma asked in surprise.

"What are _you_ doing out here?" Suguru retorted before remembering the other strange thing that had just happened. His cousin had just said the exact same thing as himself! But why? How? He was in love with Yuki-san... did he call him a moron now?! He did not understand anything. "Wha... Who are you talking about? Who have you fallen in love with?"

Touma blushed crimson. Turned his face away so he would not have to look his young cousin in the eyes when he answered. "Yuji."

Suguru toppled over. Then he shot back up from the ground in a mix of shock and indignation. "_WHAT!?_ With _Yuji_?! Nakano-san!? Hiroshi's older brother?! Your house mate?!"

Touma laughed a little nervously. "Um, yeah... He's the one I mentioned, yes. You don't need to state everything that he is, I know all that already."

"Sorry for being shocked here!"

Touma walked the few steps up to him and placed a hand on his shoulder. "Itoko-kun... I am sorry I took you by surprise here. I am surprised too. I just realized myself, and I haven't even told _him_ about it. I don't know how to."

Suguru looked him deep in the eyes. Those dark, mysterious eyes that no one had ever been able to read correctly... "But how did it happen?" he wondered. "I mean, you were always so infatuated with Yuki-san, so how did you... ?"

Touma chuckled. Shook his head. "I wasn't merely infatuated with Eiri-san," he objected. "I was completely lost in him, all those years... he was my sole obsession. More important to me than anything else. I did so many things to protect him... At least that's what I told myself, but in the end it all just added up to my being in love with him and wanting him for myself. I was being selfish and wanted to protect him from everything that I thought was a danger to him, and also a threat to myself and my dream of one day being the one that he looked at with that gentleness that really only Shindou-san has seen..." He shook his head once more. "So much time and energy... and then I find myself in love with somebody else. How could that happen? I don't know. There is simply something about Yuji-kun that I can not resist."

And with those words, he returned to the party.

Suguru looked after him, amazed by what he had been confided with. It was incredibly rare to be given Seguchi Touma's confidence, because he was such a private man that he never, ever, spoke about himself to anyone. With the exception of Yuki-san, of course. But now something seemed to have changed about him, and Suguru could not put his finger on what exactly. Maybe Touma's falling in love with Nakano Yuji would finally make him comfortable enough to open up to other people and be himself without restriction or fear of... whatever it was that he feared.

He looked down at his hands. Flexed them a bit.

A strange kind of warmth was beating alongside his heart inside his chest. After a while, he realized that it was because he was happy for his cousin. He was happy for him for finding love, because Suguru knew what love could do for a man. And that made him smile. So what if he was in love with a moron? So what if his boyfriend was a childish, irritating, weepy, needy dupe? He loved him, just the way he was, and that was what really mattered.

A scream broke through the night, and Suguru immediately recognized it as Shuichi's.

Suddenly tense with anxiety and concern for his friend, he yanked the door open and ran back into the locale, where the music had gone quiet and the crowd had stopped dancing and laughing, and found Shuichi in the back, on the floor, shaking with fear and his eyes wide with terror, held firmly by a confused, anxious-looking Yuki. Hiro and Touma were there, too, looking at Shuichi with quizzical eyes.

"What happened?!" he asked as he came within earshot of them. He stopped in front of Shuichi, panting slightly.

Shuichi raised a trembling arm and pointed it towards the back door. "A-A-A-A-Aizawa..." he stuttered, his voice in falsetto, and made the rest of them jerk in shock. His eyes looked far-away; he did not register what was happening around them, but was gazing into a dream world that none of the others could see. This was not the first time anything like this happened. Since they got back to Japan, Shuichi had experienced several moments of disillusionment due to abstinence, and no doubt this was the most recent one. But he hadn't been displaying any symptoms of abstinence for like three weeks...

The petite vocalist kept pointing in the direction of the back door. "I... I saw him... He was standing right in fro-front of me, and then he... he ran out the back door..."

Reacting to an impulse of instinct, Suguru dashed over to the back door and slammed it open, then ran out into the chill, breezy night air and looked around for any sign of a man running away in haste. Nothing. There was no one in sight. He remained standing, though, the hairs on his neck raised like shackles on a dog, and sensed that something was not right in the night out there. Something was wrong, and it was coming for them.

* * *

**_Hey everyone! Sorry to have kept you waiting so long for this chapter! I had a hard time writing the part about Eiri's father for some reason... This time I also took the liberty of writing through Eiri and show you what his latest project is, hehe. ;P Oooh, and I really love the part in the beginning with Ryu-chan and Touma... lol. It turned out just the way I wanted it to - very manga-like, haha! I'm gonna do my best now to work faster and get the next chapter out quicker than I got this one out... I'm planning it to contain some may-be shocking revelations and the return of a certain gun-crazed American... ;) But maybe not the way you picture it... hehe..._**

**_See you all in the next chapter! And thank you so much for reading my story and giving me so many nice and encouraging reviews! That makes me very happy! :)_**

**_Love, Piper_**


	62. Return of a Kamikaze, of sorts

**_Hi guys - I'm back! I am sooo sorry for the delay in updates on my stories! It has been really busy at work, my working hours have been totally freaky, and I haven't really had much free time to write, so it took me much longer than I thought to finish this chapter. Thank you so much for your patience with me! I really appreciate that you read my stories - that is what makes me continue them in the first place. :) I really hope that I will be able to update more frequently in the future, despite my job, and that I'll be able to distribute my free time better. But I want you to know that even if an update is delayed, my stories will be updated eventually! I am not abandoning them! So keep being patient and wait for my new chapters. Thank you.  
Love, Piper_**

* * *

**Return of a Kamikaze, of sorts...**

¤¤¤1 DAY TO RECKONING¤¤¤

He was sleeping. A peaceful, dreamless sleep that made his features soft, sweet. Somehow it made the novelist's heart pound. Watching him lying there in the bed, beneath the quilt, all his worries gone, was a relief to Eiri. It had scared him like hell when Shuichi suddenly screamed. He had turned his back on the little bundle of energy for two seconds - and it was as if they were back in New York, the days following his chance encounter with Shu-chan in the street... The days during which he had been suffering the worst from his heroin abstinence. Nobody else had seen any suspicious-looking man running out the back door around the time that Shuichi had freaked out, so they had to assume that it had only been a hallucination or something of the like.

Eiri gently stroked the vocalist's hair out of his face, then caressed his cheek. Suddenly his eyes were clouded by tears. Baffled, he touched a finger to his lower eyelid. It was wet. He looked at his fingertip in amazement. He was crying. Why was he crying? Was it because of Shuichi's moment of disillusionment? The scare that he had suffered? Or was it the fact that he had been thinking about New York, about how close he had come to losing Shu forever? He did not know.

When Fujisaki had come back in from the back, he had simply shook his head; nobody out there. But there had been something in the kid's eyes... something that stirred something primeval inside of Eiri and made his very skin crawl with ominous premonitions. It was not over, was it? There was still more to come before they could live their lives in peace and be left alone. Something else awaited them out there. That's what Fujisaki miraculously had conveyed with his eyes.

Eiri could not see what could possibly be waiting in store for them now. It bothered him that he could not think of a single thing. Looking down at his lover - his husband - he felt helpless, useless. What good was he if he could not even figure out a way to protect the person he cared about the most?

If he did not know better he'd say that Aizawa was back, but that was impossible. The shithead was dead.

Right?

* * *

Touma felt absolutely beat when they finally got home that night - the clock had already passed two in the morning, and he had to go into work early that day, which (as usual) meant only a couple hours' sleep for him. Yuji was lucky - he'd be able to sleep in and take his time sobering up.

There was a tiny pile of mail on the floor inside the door, probably tossed there the day before by Yuji after he had picked it up from the mailbox downstairs. If he had not been so tired he would have reprimanded him for just tossing it on the floor like that, but right now he did not care and just went straight in to the bedroom, beginning to unbutton his shirt even as he was walking through the short hallway.

When he was inside the bedroom, Yuji called softly from the hallway. "Touma, there is a letter for you here."

Touma snorted. "Atarimae deshou (_Doesn't that go without saying?_), this is my apartment after all," he said, sounding somewhat scornful due to his fatigue.

Yuji laughed. "No, no, that's not what I meant. I mean there's a letter for you, a regular letter, not just a bill or anything relating to N-G... just a letter. Hmmm, and there's no sender..."

Touma went to the doorway and signed to him that he should hand him the envelope. And just like Yuji had said, there was no sender or return address. Frowning, Touma opened it. Inside was a single sheet of regular white copy paper onto which someone had carefully glued tiny pieces of paper - letters cut out of newspapers and magazines. Whoever had sent him that letter had obviously not wanted to risk having his or her handwriting identified.

_Seguchi WA toDOme wo SAshimasu  
goYUkkuri de_

_zenbu no daijiNA hito wo zettai KOROsu_

_yurusaNEe_

Touma stared down at the letter. _I'm gonna finish you off, Seguchi. Take my time. I will make sure to kill everyone you care about. I won't forgive you._ Such hate-filled words. His tired eyes were sore, and his brain was too exhausted to process what was actually written in the note. He crumbled it up into a ball and threw it in the bin.

Yuji watched him with knitted brows. "Something funny?" he asked, and he definitely didn't mean funny ha-ha, but funny shady.

Touma shook his head. "Just a prank letter," he said, and yawned. "I get them all the time, both to my home address and to the office, it's nothing to worry about. The people who send this kind of letter seldom take it further than that."

He went around to the left side of the bed, pulled his pants off and got in beneath the covers.

Yuji was still studying him suspiciously. "But isn't it a bit alarming that you get letters like that sent to your home address?" he wondered. "I mean, they know where you live..."

Touma made it comfortable for himself in the bed. Stretched out his arm and set the alarm on 5.00 as usual. Added the snooze feature in case he was to go back to sleep after turning the alarm off in a few hours. "No, 'cause they're not sent directly to me, they go through N-G," he explained sleepily. "They are just forwarded to my home address from the office, so it's nothing to worry about. Good night."

"Oh, you really thought you were gonna get off that easy, didn't you!" a loud voice suddenly said and hit the N-G president hard over the head.

Touma instantly sat up straight in the bed, dazed, turning his head from left to right, left to right, left to right. At first he didn't see anything at all, but then he noticed the ghastly, transparent figure floating above him, looking down on him with a "yeah-I-know-you're-happy-to-see-me"-grin on his face and the long blond hair hanging down his back in a pony-tail as usual. "K!" he exclaimed, shocked to see his ex-employee there, wondering if he had already fallen asleep and this was just a weird dream caused by his confused, sleep-deprived subconscious.

But then Yuji reacted to his abrupt outburst, so that kind of proved the I'm-already-asleep theory wrong. "Touma, what are you doing? Why are you saying 'kei'?" he wondered, and followed Touma's gaze to the spot below the ceiling where K was currently hovering, but did not seem to see anything out of the ordinary. He turned his gaze to Touma again. "Are you okay?"

Touma did not know what to reply. _Was he_ okay? Or was he going mad?

"Um... would you go get me some water, please? I think I need to... I think I need some..." He didn't know what he needed, actually. Sake, maybe. But that was out of the question. He was going to work in only a few hours. Once Yuji had left the room, he dared to speak to K again. "What... what are you? Am I hallucinating because I haven't slept in like a week?" he asked the mirage in confusion, but he was not really sure that he wanted to hear the answer.

K laughed. "Hallucinating?! Is that how you greet your old friends? It's me - K! Aren't you happy to see me?!"

* * *

Shuichi reluctantly woke up when the alarm went off at nine in the morning and fumblingly reached out his hand to turn it off. With some effort he found the button and swithed it off. The silence was refreshing, relieving. With a drowsy sigh, he turned around to look at Eiri before getting up. The left side of the bed was empty. So he was already up writing, then. Well, it figured. The famous Yuki Eiri hardly got any sleep at all; the characters of his stories never gave him much of a break, did they? Smiling resignedly to himself, Shuichi got out of bed and walked over to the closet to get some clean clothes. After a long, well-deserved shower, he went to the door of Eiri's study and knocked softly.

"Hai?" came his lover's voice almost immediately, and he at least did not sound irritated or anything.

"Want some breakfast?" Shuichi called without opening the door. He knew to respect Eiri's privacy during his work hours, as irregular as they were, and always stayed outside the study unless the door was open. He had made the mistake of barging in without asking Eiri's permission and disrupting his flow many times in the past and suffered the consequences. It was not an experience that he wished to re-live, if he could avoid it. "I'll make you something."

"Just shoot me in the head, why don't you," Eiri replied sarcastically, critisizing Shuichi's ability to cook without also killing.

Shuichi laughed heartily. "Yeah, you're right," he agreed, "I probably shouldn't. So, I'll just pick something up on my way to work, then. What about you, Eiri?"

"I already ate."

"Oh, good. See you tonight, then. And don't forget to listen to our radio show tonight!"

"Hai, hai. Just leave already."

Shuichi shook his head. Always the same story. But it nonetheless warmed his heart. During the years they had spent together he had come to love Eiri's mood swings and angry outbursts, even though they had hurt him many times. Deep within his heart, Eiri loved him, and that was enough for Shuichi. As long as he loved him, the sexy, moody novelist could yell at him anytime. Once in a while he'd get some real freaky make-up sex out of it, too. A certain bonus to their relationship.

Before leaving the house, he checked the mailbox out of habit. There was a small package in there addressed to Shindou Shuichi-sama, and when Shuichi turned it over he saw that there was a hastily scribbled message from the sender too: _I know what you need. Please enjoy._ Shuichi stared at it, blinking. "I know what you need"? What kind of a message was that? And who had sent this package to him? Uncertain if he should open it or dispose of it in case it had been sent by some crazy stalker-fan, in which case it might contain something dangerous, he remained standing like that for a while before deciding to open it. His curiosity got the better of him. He ripped the paper off the small box. Took the lid off. And took a step back in horror. Dropped the box.

Inside it was a single syringe and a tiny plastic bag of a brownish powder he recognized all too well, complete with a note with a single word written out in what looked like blood. _Douzo._ "Be my guest."

Who in Hell could have sent him this? How... how did they know...?

He liften his gaze and swiftly looked around himself to make sure that nobody had seen anything. But the street was empty - quiet. Tranquil, almost. Although he fought hard not to look at the syringe again, his gaze inevitably traveled down to the ground. He must not. But the old yearning came back the moment his brain realized that he was that close to the substance he had needed for so long, that he was that close to being able to return to that place where he had once been, to return to that high and soar free once more...

He desperately shook his head. _No... No, don't think like that... you don't need, don't need it anymore - you have Eiri now and Bad Luck, and you need to stay focused, need to stay clean..._

He could hear a car in the distance and started to panic. What if the people in the car saw the syringe on the ground when they passed him and put two and two together? He needed to dispose of it quickly! But where?

Swiftly, he picked it up from the ground along with the powder and put it in his jacket pocket, feeling guilty and dirty but telling himself that he was only keeping it to dispose of it later, when he had found a safe and empty place where no one would see him and he would not be incriminated. He _was_ going to get rid of it, so there was nothing to feel ashamed of, right? He was not doing anything wrong at all, was he?

Somehow, he did not feel so sure about that.

* * *

He walked into the studio with his already-cooling breakfast bread in a small paper bag under his right arm, his hands in his jeans pockets. Hiro was already there, sitting on a chair trying out some new riffs. That did not surprise him at all. The small package that had been sent to him - to his home address, for Christ's sake! - still boggled his mind. Who had sent it to him? And how the Hell could that person know about his heroin addiction? No one had said a word about his time in America when they came back to Japan, so nobody knew about that. So _how the Hell._..?

When he put down his rucksack on the floor by the keyboard, he tried his best to look normal and indifferent, because if his bandmates started to ask him about why he looked so troubled and gloomy he would have a fucking hard time to convince them he was fine. And he sure as Hell wouldn't be able to think of something else equally disturbing that could be bringing him down at the moment. His only chance of hiding the fact that someone had sent him drugs in the mail was to act as his usual self and hope for the best.

"Have a good night's sleep?" Hiro asked him without looking up from his guitar.

"Un (_Yeah_)," Shuichi replied and raised his arms above his head to stretch a bit. "Wish I could've slept longer, though, instead of getting up early for this, but hey... that's life, huh?"

Hiro glanced back at him with one eyebrow raised. "That's unusually astute to be coming from you," he remarked.

Shuichi stiffened, then laughed nervously and scratched the back of his head. "Gomen, gomen! Must've been influenced by Eiri and his novelist lifestyle, hahaha!" He swiftly turned his back on Hiro and bit his lower lip. _Shit, how am I ever gonna pull this off?_ He peered at his jacket, which he had thrown on the floor beside the rucksack. His heart began to race anticipatingly, encouragingly. He felt every molecule of his body longing for that drug, for the kick that it had once given him. Even though he had been detoxed back in New York and Eiri and the others had helped him stay off the drug ever since that day, he could still feel the aching longing for that high that had made him feel _sooo_ good, so warm and happy and euphorious and completely trouble-free... He wished to be able to feel like that again.

Shaking his head determinedly, he turned to the keyboard and sat down. He began to play a piano tune that he had written a few days ago, a slow and touching melody that he had yet to write lyrics for. While playing, he got completely lost in the song and closed his eyes, just felt the emotions that the music conveyed, flowing through him like the surge of life itself, and he felt wonderfully serene - totally at ease with himself. He knew that it was going to be a song about Eiri, and how he had saved him back in New York. How he had always saved him, in a sense. And still would, probably. That was being loved for you.

Suddenly he stopped playing. A puzzled expression on his face, he murmured, " 'When your hand touches my cheek, my carefree self returns'." Desperate, he grabbed his rucksack and quickly searched through it until he found his notepad and a pen. He scribbled down the line he had just thought of, and then the next line that appeared in his mind like an old friend who suddenly returned from a long trip. A wide, happy smile spreading on his face, he continued to scribble down line after line; the lyrics for his piano piece.

At that moment, the door was opened and the last two members of Bad Luck stepped inside the room. "Hey guys!" Ryuichi said merrily and waved his arm at them.

"Ohayou gozaimasu," Fujisaki said, and bowed slightly even though they had been bandmates for a long, long time now and there was no need for such formalities. When he straightened up again, he blinked at Shuichi's rabid writing, looking as if he wondered what he was on.

Ryuichi walked up to the keyboard. "Shuichi," he said drawlingly, he too blinking in puzzlement, "nani wo shiteru n na no da?" (_What are you doing?_)

"Atarashii kakyoku wo kaiteru (_Writing a new song_)," he informed them gravely without stopping to glance up at them.

"Atarashii kakyoku?" (_New song?_) Ryuichi repeated, and went around to Shuichi's side to glance over his shoulder. He quickly skimmed through the lines that the other vocalist had written down so far, then he whistled. "This one's really good!" he said with emphasis. Then he looked up at the other two. "I think we have our new single!"

Hiro and Fujisaki cheered and ran over to the two vocalists to get a look at the new piece themselves, and their workday began with a bang.

* * *

He stood in the shade of a back-alley when the president of N-G Productions arrived by car at three thirty in the morning. So, the message _had_ got to him, then? A demonic smile formed on his lips as he watched the blond shacho step out of the car and bow his head slightly at the driver before hurrying up to the building. He looked haunted, gaunt. There was an urgency to his pace, an agitation in the way he carried himself... oh yes, he was starting to feel it, all right. _So, let the games begin._

* * *

Once he had dropped into his leather chair in his office at N-G, he felt slightly relieved and exhaled explosively, shutting his eyes to the world outside, which was suddenly seeming insane and incorrect and annoyingly terrifying. He had been so freaked out about what had happened that he fled the scene and went to the only place he felt truly safe. K? _K?!_ But K was dead! He had been shot at XMR, for crying out loud! How could he be back?!

He opened his eyes and sat up straight in his chair. "Yuurei...?" (_Ghost...?_) he whispered to himself.

No, it was impossible. Ghosts did not exist - they were just a myth, just like kappa and tsuchinoko. But on the other hand... if there was a possibility that a person could turn into a ghost when they died... someone as strong-willed and hard-headed as K was sure to succeed. Nevertheless...

"Ghosts can only haunt the place where they died," he thought aloud to himself, absentmindedly scratching his chin as he pondered what had just happened back at his apartment. "Ghosts are bound to the place where they died, right? That's because they're unhappy with how their lives ended, and they want to stay on Earth, or something like that. They say that people who still have regrets when they pass on will be turned into ghosts... But in that case, what would K be regretting? Not being able to finish his mission, to stop Aizawa? But I got Aizawa, so he shouldn't still be worried about that, should he...?"

"You're wrong there," a voice said.

He jumped. The ghost of K, which could not exist since ghosts were only a myth, was standing in front of the desk like the manager had done so many times while still alive, his arms defiantly crossed over his chest and his holster cockily displayed to demonstrate his power. Touma's body began to shiver, and he suddenly felt completely cold, as if he had been standing in a blizzard for hours. He did not like what his eyes saw, but he nonetheless had to admit that they were right; there was nothing wrong with his sight. He _was_ actually seeing K standing there, as a faint residue of what had once been his trusted and loyal employee. It was amazing, yet frightening. Because if this was only an illusion... that meant he was going insane.

"Wha... wha-wha... what are you doing here?" he stuttered, annoyed with himself for sounding so scared and small.

K chuckled loudly. "What I'm doing here?" he repeated. "Well, doing my job of course! Did you really think that something as trivial as _death_ would stop me from continuing to be you guys' bodyguard? You must be fucking me, Touma! Bwahahahaha!"

Touma blinked sheepishly at him. Something as trivial as... "I wouldn't exactly say that death is _trivial_, but... all right. Those guns of yours - do they even work now that you're a ghost?" he wondered, and immediately became aware that he had made a mistake asking that question.

K's expression grew stern, grave - and lethal. He swiftly drew his favorite Magnum, spun it on his index finger and fired it once.

Touma, trembling and sweating, raised his hat and brought it down to eyesight.

There was a huge hole in it.

Smiling uncertainly, he said, "Okay, you've convinced me. Now, what do you want?"

K walked up to him and leant forward over the desk. "That Aizawa prick... he's still alive."


End file.
